Ryker by Jeneveir Evans

Chapter 27

Little girls are the nicest things that happen to people. They are born with a little bit of angelshine about them, and although it wears thin sometimes, there is always enough left to lasso your heart.

~Alan Beck~

Jace

November 4th, 1999

Sometimes it feels like some of my days are filled with nothing but deja vu moments. Been here and done that. It was four-thirty in the afternoon when I pulled around to the back parking lot of Doc’s office. I went to the door and knocked on it. Doc had let her staff know that I would be entering and leaving this way so they knew to look out for me.

After everything that went down with Doc, Ronin had insisted that the best security system be installed in her building. I couldn’t blame the man. Doc’s stalker had shook all of us, especially when she managed to get on the compound without anyone being aware of it. That had led to the implementation of a lot of security upgrades not only here but at the club too.

The compound was close to becoming as impenetrable as Fort Knox. Although there was no way to stop someone from parachuting in, well that is unless we caught the fucker in the act, then they could easily be shot from the sky.

I’d parked my bike out of camera range and was wearing a hoodie to help hide my face. If I hadn’t, the camera would have shown me going into the clinic. I heard someone on the other side of the door and it didn’t take but a moment before the door clicked and opened up. I smiled at Brenda as I stepped into the building.

“Hey, Brenda. Thanks for letting me in.”

“Anytime, Jace. You ready to see that baby girl again?”

“Yeah, can’t wait.”

And I couldn’t. Maureen was now twenty-two weeks. We were on the downhill slope now. Each day I became more excited to meet my daughter. I was thankful as fuck that Maureen was letting me get to experience her carrying my child. I’d asked her if I could touch her tummy when the baby moved. She’d been okay with it. That soon led to me having to feel my daughter every day. It didn’t take but a couple days of that and I was talking to her.

At first I’d been worried that this much one-on-one time spent with my baby girl was going to make Maureen change her mind and want to keep my girl. I’d voiced that fear to her and she had assured me that while she thought what I was doing was sweet and showed that I was going to make a good dad, that she did not have any desire to be her mom. She told me she was sorry, but it wasn’t in her to be a mother. After hearing about the brutality of her home life as a child, I could understand that.

Lately, Maureen had gotten on a kick of wanting barbecued chicken. I swear she would eat it three meals a day if she could. I’d bought a small grill and set it up on her back stoop. That had led to me talking to our next door neighbor more often. Natalie was in her mid-thirties and worked from home. At first she seemed nervous to be around me. I’d done everything I could to let her know that just because I was a biker that didn’t mean that I would hurt her.

She let me know that wasn’t it. She told me she was leery of all men. Over the last couple of months I’d learned her story.

I sometimes wonder if the only good men are in ARMC. She had an ex who physically and mentally abused her. She’d been on the run from him for the past seven years. The bastard almost beat her to death when she was pregnant. By the time she was taken to the hospital, she was already losing the baby. The bastard had kicked her in the pelvic region so many times that he’d fractured her pelvic bone and damaged her uterus so badly that she’d had to have a hysterectomy.

He’d managed to find her a couple of times and she’d ended up with more broken bones. Somehow he always managed to elude the police. That left Nat being scared to leave her home most of the time. She said the last time she moved that she’d put several states between where she’d been. It was coming up on eight months that she had lived where she was. Nat was already thinking it was time to move on.

I’d told her to stay. I let her know that our MC helped women out like her. That if she ever felt that he had found her, to call me and we’d take care of her and of the fucker who had laid his hands on her. It hadn’t taken us long to form a good friendship. I told her all about what was going on with my baby. She thought it was wonderful that I wanted my daughter as much as I did, but I’d seen the pain on her face when I told her that Maureen didn’t want the baby.

Just like with Clair, she’d always wanted a child of her own but would never have one. Although for Clair that was changing. There wasn’t a woman who deserved it more than Clair. I’ll never forget the night after Zoey left. Clair came to my room to offer comfort. She’d been afraid that I would blame everything on her. There was no fucking way that was happening. None of it was her fault. She’d done what I asked of her. I’d let her know that she was my friend and always would be too.

Hearing Brenda tell me to follow her brought me out of my mental ramblings. She took me to the room where Maureen was already waiting. After Maureen was checked out, we were shown into the ultrasound room. I’d been waiting impatiently to get in here again. We didn’t have one last month and that had driven me nuts. I told Doc then that I’d pay to have one at each of Maureen’s appointments. Doc had shook her head and laughed at me, yet she agreed to my request.

I watched as Maureen’s clothing was adjusted, then as Doc squeezed the goo onto her belly, my eyes followed the probe as Doc ran it over the rounded skin that held my daughter. As soon as I heard her heartbeat, my gaze flew to the monitor on the ultrasound machine.

Just like the time before, I had to lock my knees when I heard her heartbeat. Then as each image appeared on the screen, my throat got tight and it was hard to swallow. Doc ran the probe over my baby girl giving me the views of her feet with her tiny toes, her short legs, small body, slender arms, dainty hands and delicate fingers.

As the probe showed her face, I could tell she was going to look like my mom. None of her features looked like Maureen at all. I know, call me crazy. I’m sure that Doc would tell me that I couldn’t possibly tell that yet, but I was sure of it. My daughter looked like my mom and Jemma.

She was beautiful.

“Oh, Jace, look,” Doc murmured softly.

Trust me, I was looking. My daughter had a smile on her face and was waving at me. Her petite hand was moving back and forth. Her minute lips were curled upward. I swear she knew I was looking at her.

God, the depth of emotion I felt was unreal. Now I know why my dad was so overjoyed to have more children. I also now knew why he was so overprotective of us. He loved us fiercely. Just like I did my baby girl. He’d die for any of us kids, the same as I would for my daughter. I swear I could feel my heart expand with love for her. I hadn’t thought it was possible to love her anymore than I did, yet I was proven wrong.

“She knows her dad is looking at her, Doc,” I uttered gruffly. It was hard to speak. Hell, I kept having to wipe tears out of my eyes so I could see my girl clearly.

“That she does. I’ve got a picture of her waving,” Doc stated.

It was over with all too soon. I knew that Doc took more than was normal which left me holding a long strand of ultrasound pictures. As Maureen left the office, I stopped by Doc’s office before I went out the back way.

“Doc, thanks for these,” I said as I held up the pictures. “She looks okay, doesn’t she?” She’d already told me she did, but I had to double check.

“Jace, she’s perfect. She’s small, but not too small. Maureen isn’t that big, plus your mom is small.”

I barked out a laugh. “Don’t ever let her hear you say that. To Mom, she’s fun-size. At least that’s what she tells Pops all the time. He agreed. I won’t further traumatize you with what else he said. I don’t think he realized I could hear that conversation. Let me just say that I scrubbed my ears for weeks. It didn’t help. To this day I can still hear the entire conversation in my head.”

I shuddered. “Doc, no kid wants to hear their parents talk about sex. Never. You and Ronin make sure you know where your kids are before you do, okay?”

Doc laughed at me. “I promise, Jace. I’ll let Ronin know that we need to watch out for that.”

“Good. Doc, thanks for all this.”

“Jace, I’m just doing my job.”

“Nah, Doc. It’s more than that and you know it. I truly appreciate it.”

“You don’t have a lot longer to go.”

“Yeah, on one hand it doesn’t seem a lot, on the other it can’t get here fast enough.”

“I completely understand that, Jace.”

As I murmured my goodbyes, I knew she understood. Ronin and she were expecting their first baby. She’d sworn me to secrecy when she told me earlier. She wasn’t far along, she said she was right at five weeks. I let her know I was happy for her. Then told her if her child was a boy to keep him away from my daughter. She’d laughed herself silly. Hell, I’d been serious. I think that’s what she found so funny.

Before I got on my bike, I looked at the pictures in my hand one more time.

“Hello, baby girl. Think it’s time I start thinking about a name for you. Daddy will think of some and you can let me know what you think when I talk to you tonight.”

I gently folded the long section of paper that held the images of my daughter and put them in the inner left pocket of my cut. I wanted to keep her close to my heart.

God, I couldn’t wait to meet my baby girl.

~***~