Reborn by Melody Anne
Chapter Nineteen
Joseph walked into the library he’d built for Katherine nearly fifty years earlier. It was her favorite place in their colossal home. If he ever wanted to find her, that’s where he’d look. She was sitting in the corner in her favorite chair, reading her favorite book, Pride and Prejudice, the cover worn, the paper soft from the many, many times she’d turned the pages. It was a comforting sight, seeing her where she was happiest.
“Hello, Darling,” Joseph said as he leaned in and kissed her cheek.
She jumped, then looked at him with wide eyes. “Who are you?” she gasped, her book dropping to her lap as she held a hand against her heart, fear in her eyes.
“Katherine, it’s me, your husband,” Joseph said, feeling his heart lodge in his throat.
“Who?” she gasped, scooting back in her chair.
He’d been warned she’d have moments she wouldn’t remember him, but he hadn’t realized how much it would hurt when that happened. He felt as if he’d been stabbed. He backed away from her, hating that he was causing her the remotest moment of fear.
“Katherine, Darling, I’m your husband, Joseph,” he whispered, holding out his hand but not touching her.
“Joseph?” she questioned. The fear turned to confusion and then frustration, as if she was trying to solve a very difficult puzzle.
“It’s okay, Darling, I’ve startled you,” Joseph said. He took another step back, then moved over and sat in the chair he’d sat in many times before, enjoying the view of his wife getting lost in a book. He’d been content to watch emotions flash across her face many, many times in their long life together. He’d never imagined a day she wouldn’t recognize him. He’d have to get used to that, he’d have to deal with it.
“Joseph,” she said again, drawing out his name.
“Yes, your husband,” he gently told her.
How would he get through this? How could the love of his life not know who he was? He had to remind himself that this wasn’t about him, it was only about her. She was silent for several more moments. Time seemed to stop as he internally begged her to remember him. Her Alzheimer’s was progressing too quickly. He hadn’t had enough time to prepare for this.
“Of course you are,” Katherine said, her smile returning. “Why are you telling me you’re my husband?” She chuckled, and he realized she’d already forgotten she hadn’t known who he was when he’d walked into the room. He took in a deep breath and told himself he’d be okay. She was still with him, and he’d remind her every hour of who he was if that’s what it took.
“What are you doing, Joseph?” she asked him as she picked her book back up and then began flipping through the pages without looking at it, a habit she’d had since the day he’d met her.
“I was strolling through the house and thought I’d come and visit with my favorite person in this world,” he told her.
“Ah, you always make me feel so special,” Katherine said as she reached for him, her delicate fingers sliding into his giant palm. He gently squeezed her hand and had to fight back tears. She truly was his everything.
“I need you to know every single day how much you mean to me,” Joseph said to her.
“Well, you did vow on our wedding day to tell me every single day you loved me,” she said. “It feels like just yesterday we were married.” She gazed up at the ceiling with a secret smile on her lips. “Isn’t it funny how time seems to slow. I can’t quite remember how many years it’s been but at least twenty,” she told him. He nearly laughed since it was over double that amount of time, but then he looked at her and realized she wasn’t kidding. She truly believed it had only been about twenty years. He felt another pang to his heart. He didn’t show it.
“I promised you when I married you that I’d always make you feel young,” he told her instead.
“And you do, my wonderful husband,” she said with a girlish giggle that made his bleeding heart soar.
Before Joseph could say something more, Katherine yawned. “I don’t know why but I’m very tired all of the sudden. I should have more energy,” she said as she set her book on the table next to her.
“Ah, we aren’t spring chickens anymore. It’s okay for us to take a nap now and then,” he told her.
“I agree. The wonderful thing about being a stay-at-home mother is that we can nap when the children are at school,” she said. He didn’t try to correct her that they now had grandchildren who were in school. If she wanted to take twenty or thirty years from their lives, he was okay with that. He wouldn’t mind another fifty with his beautiful wife. He wouldn’t mind one little bit living their lives over again. He’d do it all the exact same way they’d done it the first time. There wasn’t a single moment he’d change because it had all shaped them into what they were today.
He stood and held out his hand to help her up. She slowly stood then placed her hand in his elbow as he carefully walked through their huge house to their bedroom — the same room he’d shared with her for most of their lives, the same room their three boys had been conceived in, the same room he’d lain beside her going to sleep each night, knowing that the next day would be just as wonderful as the last as long as he had Katherine with him. There was no chance he’d be able to sleep in that room without her.
“Thank you for the walk,” Katherine said as they stepped inside the huge double doors that led into their bedroom. She leaned up on her toes and gently kissed his lips. “Now, you run along so I can rest. I’ll never get any sleep if you stay in here with me.”
Joseph chuckled as he wrapped her in his arms and hugged her. He couldn’t imagine a day he wouldn’t be able to do that. He couldn’t allow his mind to go there. It was far too painful to even imagine. He gave her one more kiss and reluctantly left his wife.
Joseph’s lips were pinched as he fled down the hallway to his den, the place he’d always needed to come to when his world felt as if it was spinning out of control. He’d worked hard for his entire life, and this room had always been his safe haven.
He stepped into the room then went straight to his liquor cabinet where he poured himself a double shot of Scotch. He downed it far too quickly, making his throat burn. He finally took in a deep breath, then placed a piece of ice in his crystal glass and poured a second generous glass. This one he’d sip while smoking a cigar. He’d earned it.
Joseph didn’t realize a tear was falling down his cheek until he sniffled. Once the floodgate opened he had to set down his glass and grip the bar. He shook as sobs ripped from him. Joseph couldn’t remember the last time he’d cried so hard.
“Dad?”
Joseph froze at the sound of his oldest son, Lucas’s voice. He wiped away his tears and took in a couple of more breaths before he turned.
“I didn’t know you were coming over, son,” Joseph said, trying to push away the pain that was nearly breaking him in half.
“What’s wrong, Dad?” Lucas asked. Then his son looked as if he was going to cry. “Is Mom okay?” The final word came out in a whisper, his son’s voice choked.
“Your mother is well,” Joseph said. Then he remembered Amira’s words, and he sighed as he grabbed another glass and poured his son his finest Scotch. “She didn’t know who I was for about a minute,” he told Lucas, his eyes filling again.
Lucas quickly covered the distance between them and threw his arms around his father. “I’m so sorry, Dad. I can’t imagine how difficult this is for you. It hurts all of us to see Mom sick, but there’s not a minute that goes by that any of us forget she’s your wife, your entire world,” Lucas told him.
Lucas stepped back and Joseph felt his knees shake. He dropped to the floor and the floodgate opened all over again as he cupped his head in his hands. Lucas dropped down beside him, placing his hand on Joseph’s back.
“I’m so sorry,” Lucas said over and over again. “I know the words aren’t enough, but I truly am sorry.”
They both went silent while Joseph gathered himself together again. He then took a deep breath and gave his son a wobbly smile as he climbed to his feet. It certainly was more difficult to do the older he got.
He and Lucas grabbed their glasses and moved closer to the fireplace and sat down. Joseph knew the tears were over. He also knew he’d needed to shed them. It wasn’t going to help him get through the next few years if he held all of his emotions in at all times.
“I’ll be okay, Lucas. I’m sorry you had to see that,” Joseph said. Lucas started to speak and Joseph held up his hand. “I’m not sorry you were here. I needed you without realizing I did. I can make it through this, even if Katherine eventually forgets who I am for good. I can make it through because I have enough love for the both of us.”
“Yes, you do,” Lucas said. “I pray every single night that Amy and I will have the same epic love story as you and mom.”
Joseph managed to smile the slightest bit. “You’re off to a great start,” he told his son.
“I think so because I’ve had two role models I’ve learned from.”
Silence greeted those words for several heart beats. Joseph took in some deep breaths before he was able to speak again.
“I vowed to love your mother through the good times and the bad, and I’ll always keep my promise. She’s my entire world and I won’t stop loving her even after my final breath in this body.”
“I believe that,” Lucas said. “A love like the one you and Mom share is rare. She’s lucky to have you as you are to have her. I’m very grateful you’re my parents.”
“And we’re both very grateful to have you, Mark, and Alex as sons,” Joseph said.
Lucas grinned as he took a sip of his Scotch. “But I’m the favorite so you’re really glad to have me,” he said.
The words were just what Joseph needed to hear. He and Lucas laughed for a second, and then they sat back and spoke about work, the kids, and anything other than sickness and death. By the time Lucas left, Joseph felt better. He stood up and made his way to his bedroom. It was time to hold his wife. Amira had been right, he needed all of the love and support he could surround himself with.
When he opened his bedroom door and found his beautiful wife sleeping in their large bed with a secret smile resting on her lips, Joseph knew the world would be right again. He took off his shoes, then carefully climbed in beside her. It only took seconds for her to seek him out and snuggle into the safety of his arms — right where she belonged.
Katherine might forget Joseph, but she’d never forget their love when she was the most vulnerable, and he’d always be true to his words and love her in good times and bad. He closed his eyes and once again thanked God for giving him a love so strong and true.