Finding Ronan’s Heart by Melanie Moreland

Chapter Thirteen

Ronan

All too soon, the afternoon was over. I was surprised how the time had flown by, even with my forty-minute nap. I refused to let the knowledge of what Ava saw dampen my enjoyment of the day. We played a few games of I spy, ate some of the candy I had saved, then we packed up, and I drove them home. It had been a great day, aside from Ava, and I felt sad to leave them. But I knew they needed time without me as well and that I had monopolized Beth enough. I did kiss her senseless before I left, pressed against the brick of her house behind the bushes by the side door. I kissed her until she was breathless and wanting. Until I could barely see straight.

As if it were the last time I would kiss her.

Then I regretfully watched her walk away.

I pulled up to my house in Port Albany, not at all surprised to see Ava sitting on the deck. I knew she would be there and, no doubt, have a lot to say.

I climbed the steps, meeting her gaze. She looked so much like our mom with her dark hair and facial features. Her eyes weren’t as green as all the boys—instead, they were a mixture of green, gold, and brown, the colors swirling and at times one color more prominent than the other. Usually when she was emotional, they looked green. When she was angry, they were brown. Right now, they were normal, although the gold flecks seemed brighter. She was tough and smart at her job, keeping everyone in line with her no-nonsense attitude. The staff called her the General at work, but with her family, she showed her softer side.

I had a feeling, though, that wouldn’t be the case today.

“Ava.”

She stood. “Ronan.”

“Need to borrow some sugar?” I asked.

She crossed her arms. “Don’t even start with me, little brother. We need to talk. We can do it here and risk being overheard, or we can go inside.” She flipped her hair and glared at me, the color of her eyes now brown and dark. I had already pissed her off, which wasn’t a good sign. “Given what I saw earlier, I know you like covert operations, so I’m assuming inside.”

I rolled my eyes at her dig, but I unlocked the door and went inside the house. I kicked off my shoes and indicated the solitary chair. “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll be back.”

In the bathroom, I washed my hands and ran my damp fingers through my hair. Between the wind and Beth’s impatient little fingers, it was a mess. I gripped the edge of the sink and drew in a long, calming breath. I had a feeling I was going to need it.

I headed back to the living room. Ava was by the window, looking at the vast expanse of water.

“What did I see today?”

“Why don’t you tell me?”

She spun around. “I saw you with two women and a couple of kids that aren’t yours—unless you are really good at this secret thing.” She scowled. “Are you into dating two women at once, Ronan? Is that your thing?”

I had to laugh at her thoughts. I supposed what she saw was unusual.

I wiped my eyes. “No—dating one woman. The young boy is her brother. The other woman is her roommate, and that was her daughter. We were having a picnic and looking at the clouds.” I shrugged. “We fell asleep.”

“Who is she?” she asked. “The one you’re dating?”

“Her name is Beth.”

She tapped her foot. “And who is Beth to you?”

“Someone important.”

Her shoulders dropped. “Then why don’t we know about her, Ronan?” She frowned in confusion. “Are you ashamed of us? Your family?”

“What? Fuck no, Ava. It’s not like that at all.”

“What is it like, then? Explain it to me, because I’m confused.” She stepped closer, tilting her head to one side and studying me. “This isn’t like you.”

I met her eyes, grateful to see them more green than brown. “I’m not sure how to explain it so anyone can understand.”

“Try me.”

I walked around, feeling restless. “I met Beth a few weeks ago. We clicked. She’s a waitress and is putting herself through school to become a meteorologist. She also looks after her brother, Evan, who you saw with us.” I glanced over my shoulder. “She has a lot of responsibilities.” I explained about Evan’s accident and his continuing struggle. Then I told her about Paige and Lucy. I explained how we met and the cakes Beth made I had been buying to help her out. How much I enjoyed talking to her. How she made me feel. When I was done, I let out a long breath. It felt good to tell someone about Beth. About everything.

“You’ve been busy.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“And keeping it all to yourself.”

I nodded.

“What were you doing there today? Up on the bluff?”

“I wanted to bring them for a picnic,” I repeated. “Get them out of the city. That spot is one of my favorites on the property. I hang out up there a lot.” I turned and faced her. “I’ve never seen anyone else there but me all these years, so I thought we’d be safe. What were you doing there?”

“Don’t think you can turn this around on me, Ronan. I walk that way often. In fact, I’ve seen you there, but I know you rarely get to be on your own and I always assumed you were seeking solitude, so I didn’t bother you.” She crossed her arms and pursed her lips, looking just like Mom as she studied me. “I was walking that way to see if Mr. Owens was around. If I see him outside his house, I go talk to him, check up on him.”

“See if he’s ready to sell?” I guessed.

“One day, I’ll catch him off guard, and he’ll say yes. He won’t talk to Dad or any BAM people. He threatened to shoot Dad last time he dropped by, even though Dad was only bringing him some soup.”

I chuckled. Mr. Owens was the last holdout of all the properties around the compound. It was a small piece of real estate, on the very edge of all the land we owned and had a great view of the water. I was shocked when he’d refused the last offer—they proposed over market value with the condition he could live there until he died. He’d only threatened to get out his shotgun if they didn’t leave. Still, my dad and the other BAM men liked him, and someone checked on him regularly. The only one he ever seemed to like was Ava, and even that was hit or miss.

Ava narrowed her eyes. “Stop trying to change the subject.”

“I’m not. I was just asking.”

“You were just avoiding my question. What is going on with you? Why haven’t we met Beth? Or even heard about her?”

“I’m not ready to introduce her to the family.”

“Why?”

“Why? Why?” I laughed. “Do I have to have a reason?”

She frowned. “Yes.”

I paced for a minute and finally spoke. “Because I’m not ready to share her yet.”

“Explain that to me.”

I turned and faced her fully, gripping the back of the armchair, feeling a flare of anger. “Because once I do, they’ll be all over her. All over us. Sunday brunches, interfering with plans. Hanging out with Paul and Jeremy. For the first time in my life, I have something of my own. Something I don’t have to share. When I’m with her, I’m just Ronan. Not one of the triplets. Not one of ‘the kids.’” I shook my head. “She makes me eggs the way I like. She asks me how I want something. And I get to choose. I don’t have to think of my brothers. I don’t have to worry they won’t like it. She looks at me and sees me. Nobody else. She knows I dislike lettuce on a sandwich. Mom still adds it because it’s what Paul and Jeremy prefer. I’m the odd man out so often there. But not with her. Not with Beth.” I hung my head. “I’m not ready to give that up.”

For a moment, there was silence.

“Keep going. What else? Talk to me.”

I looked at her, her gaze understanding. Once again, I had to avert my eyes, but her look of sympathy was enough and it was like a dam burst. “I don’t like nuts in my ice cream, and Mom never remembers. And mustard. I hate that shit.” I was rambling, but I didn’t care. “Or last year when Paul and Jeremy decided to try stock car racing and I wasn’t interested. They did it on their own, not even thinking maybe we could find something to do together, and no one questioned it or thought about the fact that they were doing something without me. But when I did that windsurfing course by myself, they got their noses all out of joint about not being included. It’s fine for me to be alone because, you know, it’s good ole Ronan.”

I stopped and ran a hand through my hair. I sounded like an idiot, but I didn’t care.

“But with Beth, I’m not alone,” I concluded, mumbling.

“That was hard for you to admit,” Ava stated softly.

I nodded, not looking up. “I feel guilty.”

She laughed and knelt on the chair, looking up at me. She tickled my chin the way she used to when I was little, making me lift my head. I looked down at her, expecting to see anger, but there was none. Caring and understanding were in her expression.

“Ah, Ronan. You’ve always been the leader for your little pack, haven’t you? Always looking out for Paul and Jeremy.”

“Someone had to,” I mumbled.

“You have no idea, do you?” She smiled and patted my cheek.

“No idea about what?”

“They know it. Liam and I know it. So do Mom and Dad. You think no one sees you for you, but we do. We know you’re the strongest. The smartest. The leader. We know you step back and make sure Paul and Jeremy come first. The other two-thirds of your little pack adore you beyond reason and look up to you, even if they don’t tell you.” She dropped her voice. “I’ll tell you another secret, little brother. You’re the favorite. Of everyone. Not just Gracie.”

“I am not.”

“You are,” she confirmed. “And I’ll tell you something else. You’re wrong. You don’t have to give up anything with your girl. What you have to do is learn to say no.”

I furrowed my brow in confusion. “What?”

“You can set the boundaries. You can say no to invitations. You can tell people to call before they drop over. You can say no if you want to.” She met my eyes, her gaze steady and serious. “You say it to yourself often enough. Now you have to learn to say it to other people.”

I didn’t say anything for a moment, and she kept talking. “Gracie and Jaxson set boundaries. So did Addi and Bray. Even I have some. Think about it. So do Paul and Jeremy. They have chosen to stay close to their girls rather than live here all the time.” She smiled. “It’s called being grown up, Ronan. Making our own choices.”

I let her words sink in.

“We all want you to be happy, Ronan. From what I saw today, this girl makes you happy. How does she feel about meeting the family?”

I shuffled my feet. “I haven’t told her about our family.”

She stood, frowning. “How does that work, exactly?”

Her words were so similar to Gracie’s, I had to smile.

“You find this funny?”

“No.”

I began to pace again. “She thinks I’m just a regular guy. She has no idea of my connections, my family, what I do, how much money I have, nothing.”

“So, you’re lying to her.”

“I’m letting her get to know me.”

“How can she know you, Ronan, if you’re hiding part of yourself?”

Her words brought me up short.

“We are a part of you. A huge part. Why would you hide all the love we feel for you? That you have an amazing support system?”

“Beth doesn’t have that.”

“Maybe she would benefit, then.”

I blinked at her.

“What does she think you do for a living?”

“Um…construction, sort of.”

She shook her head. “You are one of the most honest people I know. I’m shocked at your behavior.” Then her eyes widened. “Is this because of that tramp? That Loni creature?”

I held back my smile at her description. It was pretty accurate.

“It’s nice to know Beth likes me for me, not my money or my connections.” I paused, looking down. “It feels good to know she isn’t pretending.”

“But you are.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but she held up her hand.

“You are Ronan Adam Callaghan. Son of Aiden and Cami. Brother to all of us. Friend. Architect. Godfather to Kylie. Successful in your own right. Independent. And yes, wealthy. How many of those facts does she know?”

“She knows I have a family. Just not the details.”

She narrowed her eyes. “The guilt you’re feeling isn’t because you’re not ready to introduce her to us. It’s because you want to, but you’re letting your fears override your judgment. If you really care about this girl, think about it, Ronan. Think of what would happen.”

“What do you mean?”

“We are loud. Interfering. In one another’s lives and business. We’re also incredibly close. We work together, play together, live near to one another. If one of us is down, the others rally. You say Beth carries a lot of responsibilities. That her brother needs help. That she works too hard. Now think what would happen once the family knew about her. Dad would help her brother. You know no one is better than he is with healing. Think of the equipment you have access to that might help him. Uncle Richard would talk to Evan—encourage him with his story. All of us would figure out a way of making Beth’s life easier. Be it looking after Evan so she has more free time, having her grass mowed, buying more of her cakes—whatever it took, we would all pitch in because she means something to you. Something very important, I think.”

“Yes,” I affirmed without hesitation.

“Then stop hiding. Show her who you really are and let her know all about you. Otherwise, the longer you hold back, the more she will feel you are lying and question everything you say to her. Is that what you want?”

“No.”

She stepped closer, laying her hand on my arm. “I want to know the woman who made my brother look so relaxed today he was napping and covered in children. Who thought so much of someone else, he wanted to make her happy. Bring her someplace that meant so much to him. Don’t hide, Ronan. Show her. Show us.”

I pondered her words.

“Do you trust her?”

“Beth?” I asked. “Completely. She’s genuine and real.”

“Then you need to show her. Prove it and be the same with her. Before you dig yourself a hole you will never get out of. You could lose her.”

She pulled my head down and kissed my forehead the way she always did when I was a child and smiled. “I’m proud to be your sister. Be proud to be my brother.”

“I am.”

“Then you know what you have to do.”

And she left me alone with my thoughts.