Whipping Girl by L. Jacobs
Part 1
Chapter 1 – Alexander - 18 years ago
“Alexander.” Natalia says gently. “Come... there is a man here. He’s come to adopt you.” I sigh as I walk toward my favorite caregiver, her beautiful heart shaped face is scrunched up, looking sad and pained but she tries to hide it from me with her beautiful smile. Natalia is my favorite because she doesn’t get upset or hit me when I don’t do things that she tells me to do and she always treats me like I’m special. I wish she could be my Mother.
“Don’t coddle the boy, Natalia.” Maya berates. Her round face pinched into a scowl as she takes us in. I hate Maya, she hits too hard and sometimes I feel dizzy afterwards.
“I don’t want to be adopted again. Please, can I stay with you?” I ask Natalia quietly, keeping my eyes on the heart shaped necklace she always wears so she doesn’t see the desperation on my face. I’ve already been adopted twice. The first family thought I was eerie, my dark eyes and quiet demeanor made them feel like I was going to kill them in their sleep. I was just trying to be the perfect son, I hadn’t thought about killing them even once. The second family kept me for eight months, I spoke when they asked questions and did every chore that they asked of me plus their other children’s but when they brought me back they had said that I didn’t fit into their family dynamic, that I had scared their other kids. I don’t have a lot of hope for this next one either, I just want to stay with Natalia. She doesn’t think that I’m creepy and bad.
“I wish more than anything that you could, sweet boy.” Tears fill her beautiful, blue eyes, threatening to spill over onto her soft skin. I feel bad for making her heart hurt, it’s not her fault that I’m an unlovable, naughty little boy. She once whispered to me that she would take me home in a heartbeat if she could afford it but I don’t know if that was true or just another lie that grownups tell you to keep you quiet.
“It’s okay. I’m going to be okay.” I try to reassure her and myself. I run my fingers through the soft strands of her blonde hair. “I bet this one will be the one that works out.” I smile even though I don’t feel it. She hugs me then, pulling me tightly to her and letting me feel the only care that I have ever known one last time before letting me go and turning to quickly run down the hall without another backward glance. I hope I get to see her again after this person returns me.
“Let’s go, boy. The gentleman is waiting.” Maya grabs the back of my neck and pushes me toward the adoption transitioning room. I sigh as I let her lead me, earning me a swift smack to the back of my head for my insolence. When we walk through the door, there is only one person in the room and he stands swiftly, squinting his eyes on me as he looks me over. He’s not old, I know that Natalia is 25 and he can’t be much older than she is. He really seems to like the color black though, everything from his two button coat to his shiny shoes is black, it looks like he might shop at one of those really nice places that I’ve walked by once or twice. His blonde hair is long on top, slicked back in a way that makes him look like a businessman, most people would probably walk by him on the street and think that he was an ordinary, fancy man. The thing that makes me hesitate to walk forward though is his eyes, they are light blue colored and they are already looking at me like he hates the sight.
“A lot scrawnier than in the picture,” the man says in his accented voice. American, I think. He doesn’t seem worried that I’m not eating, maybe just concerned that I’m not the boy from the picture.
“We feed them before we take pictures.” Maya laughs, her big frame bouncing at her own joke. The man just stands there, his eyes making me feel cold inside.
“Alright.” He produces a large envelope from the inside of his coat and hands it over to Maya, she looks inside of it then smiles big at the man, running a hand over her black, pinned hair.
“Do you want me to grab his things?” She asks.
“No, he won’t need anything from this place. What was his name again?” The man asks her but keeps his cold eyes on me.
“Alexander Petrov, but he prefers Alex.” She looks down at the envelope in her hands again, impatient to get us out of here so she can hold whatever's in it.
“Alex…” he says slowly, like he’s testing it out. “I’ve been looking for you for a long time, Alex.” A slow smile spreads across his face but it’s not a happy smile, it reminds me a villain in a comic book. Looking for me? “My name is Link Bentley and I’ll be taking you to your new home.”
“Anything else I can help you with Mr. Bentley?” Maya asks.
“You’ll take care of the rest?” Link asks her, turning those cold blue eyes on her.
“My husband will be finalizing our agreement tonight.” I don’t know what they are talking about but the look that they give each other causes goosebumps to cover my arms.
Link starts speaking English as soon as we leave the orphanage. I’ve only ever spoken Russian but I do know some of the words that he’s saying. A lot of American’s have volunteered at the orphanage and they would teach me and the other boys words sometimes, I’m only six but I’ve been told that I’m very smart. I don’t know everything that he’s saying but I’m picking up on some things.
Car. Airplane. Time. Teach. Father. Lesson.
I listen closely as he keeps talking, wanting to be the good boy that somebody finally wants to keep as we take a car through the city streets. When we arrive at an airport, I point to an airplane and say the word to him hoping that he’ll think I’m really smart but he just lifts his eyebrow at me and turns his face away as if disgusted with me. I don’t think he likes me, I wish he would just turn around and take me back, I’d rather not disappoint Natalia by being returned later on.
“Welcome to The Guard, Alex.” Link says in Russian as we pull up to a large iron gate. It opens to reveal a bunch of large grey buildings. I really thought that we weren’t ever going to arrive anywhere at all, we've been traveling for what feels like forever and the desert miles that we have driven went on and on.
“Where are we?” I ask him.
“Your new home.” He chuckles darkly. “Come on.”
We walk through the doors of the largest building on the property then straight toward the elevators where he presses the down arrow. I’m nervous but I keep my head down as we descend, hoping that Link doesn’t notice, I don’t want him to see me as weak. When the doors open all I can see is blinding lights and white walls, Link walks ahead of me as he leads me down hall after hall.
A largely muscled man asks him a question when we enter a room, it appears to be a classroom and gym combined. Link looks down at me with a smirk before answering in Russian.
“Yes, Peter. This is Alex,” Peter looks down at me with a sneer, his dull hazel eyes only holding my own for a moment before he shifts uncomfortably and looks back to Link. “I want you to get him acquainted with the others and tell him of his place. He’ll need a translator for now- why don’t you get Ivan?” Link seems to share a secret smile with Peter after his statement.
I don’t understand what they say next so I ignore them as I look at my surroundings. There are old desks set up on the left side of the room with a large blackboard on the wall, a definite class room but the bulk of the room is filled with gym equipment including a small fighting ring. I have no idea what is happening or what they want with me but I am almost certain that I wasn’t so much adopted by someone but recruited into something. I don’t know why that doesn’t scare me, it probably should but more than anything I feel anticipation, for what I’m not sure but I do know that I don’t fit the regular mold. Maybe this, whatever this is, was always meant to happen, I didn’t fit in with other families and I know enough about other kids behaviors to know that I’m not like them, maybe this place will fix what's wrong with me.
“Keep your head in the game, boy!” Ivan yells at me. I don’t know how long I’ve been here, at least a few months maybe longer. I feel like they might be trying to kill me. The moment that Link introduced Ivan and I, the man has been running me constantly. I’ve been working with tutors to learn English, I thought I was doing pretty well but Ivan finds me lacking. I’ve worked with weapons experts, learning everything there is to know about how to hurt and maim a man, I thought it was interesting and I was very eager but Ivan thought I wasn't working hard enough so he whipped me. It hurt a lot more than a slap to the face or a kick to the ribs but I could handle it, pain is pain. I met other boys around my age as they tested us on our intelligence, endurance, and our ability to adjust to our circumstances. I’m not sure what happened but there were fewer and fewer of us with each round of prodding. Then the real training began. They left me alone for days, starved of food and attention. I’m not sure which I needed more, food or someone to talk to, all I knew is that when Ivan opened that door and spread the white light over me I cried. I cried like I haven’t cried in years and it wasn’t because of the constant darkness or being unable to control the circumstances, I cried because I was happy just to be in another person’s presence. I felt pathetic and weak, Ivan told me that he thought the same before he walked over to my small bed and sat on the edge with a sigh. He purses his lips, and regards me with a strange expression, his brown eyes narrowing on me as if trying to figure something out. I keep quiet, not necessarily intimidated by the big man but knowing my place all the same.
“It’s not always going to be this way, you know.” He says with tilt of his lips and a raised brow. “One day, if you do everything right... we’ll give you someone who will be everything to you and you will be everything to her in return.” He grins out of the side of his mouth when I give him a skeptical look. “It’s true. If you give us your all, if you do as you are told then you will receive an ultimate Gift from us and she will be yours and nobody else's.” My heart rate picks up at his words. My very own person? Somebody who will love me and be mine? I’ve never had anything like that, I don’t even know what that would feel like but I do know that I crave it. His words burrow under my skin and implant into my brain. Someone who will love me. “You’ll have to make sure she’s protected though, Alex, only you can protect her. If you do something wrong then she will be hurt and it will be all your fault. Do you understand what I’m saying to you?” My breath hitches as I take in his words. Hurt her? No. I would never let any harm come to someone who was mine.
“How do I protect?” They’ve demanded that I only use English words but I’m still pretty bad at it.
“You do as you’re told. You can never screw up, boy, or we will have to hurt her. We don’t want to do that but we will if we have to.”
“I protect her!” I say with conviction.
“Good, Alex.” A small smile lights his face. He’s not an old man by any means, most likely about Link’s age but he always seems much older because he’s usually got a scowl on his face. His light brown hair always looks as if he just rolled out of bed to come into work and he smells like soap and cigarettes. “Remember that she is what you are working towards and you shouldn’t have a problem.”
“When do I get ‘Gift’?” I ask.
“When it’s time. We still have a lot of work to do, boy, and right now you are in a low rank, just a trainee. Show us that you deserve this reward, prove to us that you can be what we need you to be.”
“What do you need me to be?”
“You’ll need to be a lot of things, Alex. For right now we just need you to listen and do your best at all times to learn about what we are teaching you, all of it is for your own wellbeing, everything we do is to help you keep yourself and The Guard safe. Eventually, if you do well, you will become an Elite Assassin for the most notorious organization in America. For all of that we will make you a rich man and give you a reason to wake up in the morning. Your Gift.”
I nod at him and resolve myself to do everything in my power to do better, I have to be the best if that’s what it will take to earn and protect her. I find myself growing dizzy with excitement at the prospect. I’ll have my own person, somebody that nobody can ever take away from me, that’s what he said. I will finally have a family of my own and I’ll make sure that nothing ever happens to her. The door opens up and Ivan quickly stands as Link walks into my small room, he eyes the two of us, one side of his mouth quirking as he closes the door behind him.
“I’m glad the two of you are getting along.” He states drily, stepping further toward the bed with his iced over eyes glued to mine. “Ivan and Peter are going to be your primary handlers, you’ll listen and do everything that they tell you, do you understand?”
“I understand.” I respond without hesitation, mind still reeling from what Ivan has told me.
“Good.” He turns to walk back toward the door but then twirls back to us quickly. “I almost forgot.” The smile on his face chills my bones and I already dread his next words but instead he brings his hand out of his pocket and throws something onto the bed in front of me. My eyebrows scrunch as I pick up the delicate object my confusion hitting a peak when I see the familiar filigree heart shaped pendant dangling from my fingers. Natalia’s necklace. I look into cold blue eyes, asking a silent question and making him chuckle.
“She couldn’t be bought.” He says with a shrug. “Shame we had to take her out though, she was such a beautiful thing.” Link says with mock sincerity, his words hitting me in the chest like a ton of bricks. No. No, they wouldn't hurt her… they couldn’t have… the last words that Link and Maya shared before we left the orphanage suddenly come back to me, finally sinking in and making me feel sick to my stomach, my gut feels heavy with bile as I remember my last memory of her, her smiling, sad face before she hugged me then left.
Pure rage takes over. I’m off of the bed and throwing myself at Link before I even register any of it, I don’t even get to touch him before large arms envelope me from behind, pulling me toward the bed and throwing me onto the hard mattress. I’m screaming and yelling obscenities that I’ve only ever heard from the mouths of adults as Ivan holds me pressed to the scratchy sheets. I fight with everything in me, unable to stop myself from fighting the hold on me. No! No, they couldn’t have done that to her!
“Boy! Stop it!” A sharp smack across the face pulls my attention away from Link’s smug face. I breathe heavily, trying to pull harsh breaths of air into my lungs. “Listen to me, you little shit! Turn it off. NOW!” I try to do as he asks, shutting my mind down but Natalia’s face breaks through and I want to rip Link apart all over again. “No!” He slaps my face again, harder this time. “Shut it off!” I try once again to stop feeling, to let my training take over but instead I break. I scream to the ceiling and cry out for Natalia. I get one more look at a too happy Link before he walks back out the door, his dark chuckle following him out. What made him do this? Natalia was innocent in all of this… why?
I don’t know how long I cry, it seems like days just lying here on my soaked pillow. Ivan left right after Link, shutting off the lights and locking me in the small room, but this time I don’t mind being alone. I don’t mind not having company while I break apart and grieve for the only person to ever show me a resemblance of love. I don’t mind being alone this time because I don’t want witnesses to the last time that I will ever show any weakness.