A Real Cowboy Always Protects by Stephanie Rowe
Chapter Twenty
Reflexively,Logan's arm tightened around Skylar. "I want to kiss you, too." He waited. There was no way in hell he was going to make a move on her after he'd promised he wouldn't. It had to come from her.
"I'm falling for you." Her voice was small. "I don't know how to handle this."
Logan rolled onto his side so he could look at her. Her eyes were open and vulnerable, her gaze searching his. "I don't know how to handle it either," he said honestly. "But…yeah…I'm falling hard for you, too."
Her eyes widened. "What does that mean?"
"I don't know. I just…I don't have experience with how you make me feel. It's new to me." He wanted to trace his fingers along her jaw, but he didn't. He made himself stay where he was. But it was incredibly difficult not to reach for her. "I will always give you the truth, Skylar. I can't make any promises about a relationship or a future. But…you're making me think of things I haven't thought of in my entire life. That's not a promise. That's nothing. Just wanting you to know that you're that special of a person."
She smiled. "You're so careful with me."
"I don't want to hurt you."
"I appreciate that." She put her hand on his chest, flattening it over his pec. "Your heart is racing."
He laughed softly. "That it is. That should tell you something. I'm pretty unflappable."
She took his hand and laid it over her heart.
"Your heart's racing, too." Her tank top didn't protect her skin from his touch entirely. His thumb was on her bare skin, on her sternum. His fingers were also touching bare skin at the front of her shoulder. Her skin was soft. Silken. Warm. Alive. Human. Her.
She nodded. "What if we…" She stopped.
"What if we…what?"
She met his gaze. "What if we…go with it?"
He raised his brows, absolutely refusing to make assumptions. She had to be clear, crystal clear before he would make any moves. "Go with it? What does that mean exactly?"
She let out her breath, and he could feel her heart speed up even more. "I'm afraid of men, right? Of trusting?"
He nodded. "I know," he said softly.
She met his gaze. "I trust you," she whispered.
At those three words, something turned over inside him, something glorious, something that rendered him speechless.
"I need to learn to trust again," she said. "You make me want to learn to trust, to come out of my little shell I've been hiding in." She traced her finger along the collar of his shirt. "I know that we probably don't have a forever," she whispered. "Maybe that makes this easier. Less scary. Less at stake, you know?"
He caught her hand then, and pressed a kiss to her fingertips. "What do you want from me, Skylar?" He knew what he wanted from her. He wanted everything. He wanted to heal her, honor her, treasure her. He even wanted her to save him. But there was no way he'd ever put that gargantuan, unmanageable burden on her beautiful shoulders.
She took a breath. "Can we…can we make this…" She waved her diamond ring at him. "Can we make this real while we're in Rogue Valley? In private as well as in public. Just…go all in. Let us heal each other, maybe, a little, if that's possible?" She touched his jaw. "I think you could help me heal, Logan, and I'm pretty sure I can help you."
He froze at the hope that leapt through him. His throat got tight, and suddenly, he couldn't breathe. Was there hope for him? To become like his brothers? To be able to live in society? A life that at least had a semblance of normal?
Embarrassment flooded her face. "Never mind. It was stupid." She started to scoot away.
"No." Logan rolled on top of her. "It wasn't stupid." He kept most of his weight off her, not wanting to crush her, but their bodies were touching from chest to toes. He could feel her ribs moving against his with each breath. Her breasts sandwiched against his chest. Her thighs between his.
She looked embarrassed. "You didn't respond—"
"I was too stunned by the idea that there might be hope for me."
Her face softened, and she looped her arms around his neck. "There's always hope, Logan. For you. For me. Without hope, we have nothing."
"Then I've had nothing." He said it without thinking, then swore. "I didn't mean it like that. I have a great life. I have everything—"
"Shh." She put her finger on his lips to silence him. "Shut up and kiss me."
He didn't move. He was afraid to move. Afraid to unleash the need fighting so hard to get free. "Are you sure?"
"Oh, for heaven's sake. Sometimes women have to do everything." She tightened her grip on his neck, pulled herself up toward his face, and then kissed him.
Her kiss wasn't tentative. Her kiss was certain, passionate, and raw, everything that was coalescing inside him.With a low groan, he kissed her back immediately, a kiss that spun into a raging torrent of need so quickly that he could barely keep up.
She grabbed his shirt, and he pulled back long enough for her to tug it over his head. She looped it behind his neck with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes. "You're seriously the hottest guy I've ever met."
"I moonlight as an Instagram model. It helps pay my bills." He let her tug him down to her, and kissed her. Deep. Hot. Demanding.
She wrapped the shirt around her fists, locking his head down to where she could reach him without sitting up. He loved that she was taking control. He knew he wouldn't be kissing her that intensely if she wasn't driving it. There was no way he was going to take the chance of accidentally convincing her to do something she didn't want to do.
But if she were driving it? He was all in. All in.
Her feet were locked over his thighs, holding him tight against her as she started to move her hips. Desire poured through him, a thunderous torrent of need that seemed to consume him. His muscles literally started shaking with his need for her, and her name kept going through his mind, again and again, and again until—
Swearing, he broke the kiss and rolled onto his back.
Skylar sat up, her brow furrowed. "What's wrong?"
"I want to make love to you," he said, his voice raw and rough. "You awaken need inside me that's so strong, so powerful…" He swore again. "It might be best if we stop. I don't want to tempt you to make a choice you'll regret in the morning." Sweat was beading on his brow. "Go to sleep, Skylar."
She didn't go to sleep.
Instead, she rolled on top of him, sat down on his stomach, and braced her palms on his shoulders. Her hair fell forward, framing her face like a halo. "Logan."
"My dear, sweet Skylar." He reached up and trailed his finger through the golden locks. "It's as soft as I imagined." He watched the ends slide across his hands. "You're like an angel."
Skylar's heart ached at the look of reverence on Logan's face as he played with her hair. It made him look younger. Softer. Vulnerable. Like he'd forgotten to keep up the shields he always wore. He didn't look like an operative. He looked like a man who had a heart so big that it could encompass the world.
Her heart turned over, and she knew she wasn't simply falling for him. She had fallen for him. The whole way. With all her heart. With all her soul. She knew there was no certainty of a future with him. In fact, probably the opposite. She knew she could never be with him and have him gone so much, risking his life, and all that came with his job.
But right now, tonight, she needed what he could give her: a feeling of safety. A circle of protection where she could feel again. Trust. Maybe Logan wouldn't be hers forever, but he would always protect her. Always. "Logan."
"Skylar."
She smiled at the way he said her name, with that western drawl. With that reverence that always felt so good. "I don't want to go to sleep."
His gaze moved from her hair to her face.
"I want a night of intimacy. Passion. Lovemaking. I want to feel your hands all over my body. I want to lose myself to you, to turn my entire being over to you for safekeeping. I want the whole nine yards with you tonight." She smiled when his eyes darkened. "No regrets in the morning, I promise. I just want you. And if you ask me if I'm sure again, I will punch you, so just kiss me, consume me, and lose yourself in me. Got it?"
A slow grin spread across his face, reaching those beautiful eyes of his. "Yes, ma'am. Cowboys are known for their manners, so what choice do I have, but to give you want you want?"
"Exactly."