A Real Cowboy Always Protects by Stephanie Rowe
Chapter Twenty-One
Logan's handswent to Skylar's hips, to the hem of her tank top. "This needs to come off."
Her pulse quickened as he slowly, deliciously slid it up her ribs. His palms were rough and deliberate as they eased along her skin, following the path of the shirt up her sides, over her arms and then over her head.
He set the tank top on the pillow beside his head, and then put his hands on her hips, his gaze drinking her in as if he were starving for her. She smiled, watching the reverence on his face as he looked at her body.
"You make me feel beautiful," she whispered.
"You are beautiful." His voice was filled with awe as he traced his fingers along her ribs, over her belly, and then gently cupped her breasts. "I feel like this moment is the gift that the universe knew I'd been craving my entire life, but I didn't know it was even possible."
Tears filled her eyes at the wonder in his voice. "How can you make me feel like this?"
"You deserve to feel like you're everything. My everything." He sat up, tunneled his fingers through her hair, and then kissed her. A nibble at the corner of her mouth. A kiss at the other corner. A seductive, playful temptation that promised everything she wanted so badly. She wrapped her fingers around his strong wrists, kissing him back, basking in the roughness of his stubble, the warmth of his mouth, his adoring, thorough exploration of her lips.
She expected him to toss her on her back and get down to business, but he didn't. He continued to kiss her as if he had all the time in the world, as if there was nothing he wanted more than to taste her lips, play with her hair, and breathe her in.
The pace gave her space to feel safe. To lean into it. To build trust.
With a contented sigh, she slid her hands down his arms, over his biceps, across his broad shoulders, and then looped them behind his neck. She pulled him in, so her bare breasts brushed against his chest. They both sucked in their breath, then laughed at the same time.
"You make me feel like this is my first time," she admitted. "Being with you feels so electric."
"Back at ya, sweetheart." He kissed the tip of her nose, then drew her in again, kissing her like he never wanted to stop. This time, when her nipples brushed his chest, neither of them laughed.
They just held each other tighter, and the kiss became deeper, more insistent, more consuming.
Need began to pool in her belly, a yearning that echoed his name, again and again, reaching out for this incredible man in her arms.
He locked his arm around her lower back, supporting her, and then kissed her jaw, her neck, along her collarbone. She leaned back into his arm, trusting him to hold her up as his kisses moved across her chest, over the swell of her breasts, toward her nipple.
The moment his lips closed over the peak of her breast, she gasped and gripped his upper arms as sensation rippled through her like a river gaining current. She closed her eyes, surrendering herself to him, to his kiss, to his seduction.
Soon…or maybe it was later…she didn't know. She lost all track of time. They were tangled up with each other, both of them naked, legs entwined, hands, lips, mouths exploring each other. Laughter. Intimacy. Giggling. It was everything. It was perfect.
Logan kept saying her name, whispering it again and again as he worked his way around her body, making sure to kiss every part of her, leaving no part of her untouched, unloved. She'd never been cherished and adored the way Logan loved on her. It was like the blossoming of her own soul into his protective embrace, breathing and expanding in a way she'd never felt safe to do before.
The moment he slid into her, completing the bond between them, Skylar was completely lost to him. Not just in that moment, but forever. She leaned her head back on the pillow, arching into him as he moved inside her, slow, seductive, stoking the flame between them like he was born to be a nurturer of the magic that seared her very soul.
"Skylar." Logan's voice was rough and low, and she opened her eyes.
His hands were braced on either side of her head, his gaze fixed on her face, as if he were etching the moment into his brain for all eternity. She reached up, laying her palm on his cheeks. "My prince," she whispered. "So handsome. So beautiful, in every way."
He turned his head and pressed a kiss into her palm. "My sweet angel."
She could tell he meant it. Words that reached inside her heart and wrapped around her soul, pouring love into the wounds that had been so deep for so long.
Silence fell between them as he quickened his pace, his thrusts becoming deeper, hotter, more consuming. Need began to take over her body, stealing her control away from her mind and sweeping it up into a tornado of passion.
Heat coiled tighter and tighter inside her, gathering strength and fire, until she could barely breathe, barely think. She gripped his shoulders, desperate for him, for more, for the final freefall into his soul---
The explosion was sudden and glorious, hurling her over the precipice into arms that would never fail her. Logan held her tight as he joined her, their bodies and souls melting into a single, blazing inferno together.
The moment it let them go, he collapsed on top of her, burying his face in the crook of her neck, his arm tight around her, as if he would never release her.
Skylar wrapped her arms around his upper back, never wanting to let go. He was heavy on top of her, a glorious, protective weight that cocooned her between his body and the mattress.
"Perfection." His whisper was low, his lips right next to her ear.
She smiled at the reverence in his voice. "I agree. We'll never top that."
He lifted his head and grinned at her. "I'm sure we can top that with enough practice. Just because we're starting off at the top doesn't mean we can't go up from there."
Her smile widened. "You want more?"
His smile faded. "Sweetheart, I want it all."
Her pulse quickened. "What does that mean?"
"I—" He cut himself off, then shook his head. "I don't know."
Her heart dropped, but she managed a smile. "I know. It's complicated. What time is it? Time to get some sleep, don't you think?"
She tried to roll away from him, but he caught her jaw and turned her head toward him. "Skylar."
"What?"
"Don't give up on me. Not yet."
She shrugged. "It's fine, Logan. I know the situation. How could it work? I mean, there's just too much, right?" She managed a smile. "When we were making love, I was thinking, maybe it would be worth it. To have you for a week here or there, in between your assignments. Like whatever I could get would be worth it. But I think…" she took a breath. "I think it would break me in a way I've never been broken before."
He swore under his breath. "Skylar—"
"Not because you're a bad guy, but because I've never loved anyone like I love you. Not even close."
His eyes widened. "Skylar—"
Crap. She hadn't meant to say that! "No." She put her hand on his mouth. "Please, don't say anything. I didn't mean to say that. Just…this is about the moment, the present. It's not more. I know. Please. Let it be. Promise?"
He shook his head in refusal. "Skylar—"
"Dammit, Logan! Can't a girl just fall in love and not have it be a big deal?" She grabbed a pillow and covered his face with it. "Don't say anything. No matter what you say, it will be wrong."
His body started shaking, and she could feel him laughing.
She jerked the pillow away. "You're laughing at me right now?"
"I'm laughing because you're fantastic." He grabbed her hands and braced them above her head trapping her. "I have news for you, babe. I'm not that guy that you can boss around. And I'm definitely not that guy who will sit here and nod and say thanks when you announce you love him."
She glared at him. "Seriously, Logan. Shut up. I'm sorry I messed up our perfect moment by getting squishy, but we can pretend I didn't. Move on."
"No, we can't."
She narrowed her eyes. "Go away."
"No."
"Now."
He started laughing again. "No." He kissed the tip of her nose. "Double no. Triple no. Not until you let me respond to your jaw-dropping declaration."
She paused. "It was kind of jaw-dropping, wasn't it?"
"Yes, ma'am, it was."
She studied his shit-eating grin. "If I let you talk, are you going to give one of those awkward speeches that's supposed to let me down easily, and just winds up ripping out my poor little heart? Because I'll pass on that."
"I'm never awkward. I wasn't even awkward as a teenager."
"And my heart?"
"It belongs where it is, in that beautiful body of yours."
She narrowed her eyes. "If you feel like you need to be a gentleman by giving some acknowledgment of my emotions—"
"I've never been a gentleman. Not even once." He kissed her, a playful, smiling kiss that finally got her to smile.
She sighed. "Fine. Have at it. But note that I'm probably still very fragile and you're stuck with me for the foreseeable future. If you mess this up, it's going to make things incredibly uncomfortable."
He grinned, his eyes sparkling. "All right, then. Don't interrupt me until I'm done. Unless you have questions. Or compliments. Or applause."
"I can't give you a standing ovation because you're on top of me, but other than that, I make no promises." She was getting curious now. He looked so freaking happy that she couldn’t believe he was going to eviscerate her heart. He was definitely too nice to delight in raking her soul through the embers of hell. "Talk."
He let his weight settle more deeply on her. "Here's the thing, Skylar. I do believe in love. I've loved my brothers since I can remember. And now my sister. They're my everything."
She nodded. "I know."
"I have also seen them fall in love with their wives, or husband, as in the case with my sister. So, I know it happens."
She bit her lip. "Okay."
"But the love I feel for my siblings…it's not the same thing as a normal, healthy romantic relationship. I don't know how to be like they are. I don't know how to be normal." He paused. "I don't want to feel what's inside me. It's not pretty."
She nodded, her heart sinking. "I understand."
"But with you, I feel, and it's good stuff. I wouldn't ever call anything about me pretty, but how I feel about you?" His smile faded. "It's fucking glorious."
Her heart leapt, but she didn't say anything.
"I won't bring you into my world, into my life and my job," he said. "And I don't know how to leave it, or even if I'd be okay if I lost the protections from myself it gives me. I don't have these answers. I don't know how to solve it."
She pressed her lips together and nodded.
"But I will tell you this," he continued. "I love the living hell out of you, Skylar. I have since the day I met you. It just took this long to figure out what I was feeling, because, as I said, I try like hell not to feel anything. I don't know what to do with the fact I love you, but yeah, you're not alone. I love you right back, probably a hell of a lot more. Where do we go from here? I don't know."
There was no way for Skylar to keep the tears from filling her eyes, and spilling down her cheeks. His announcement was so unexpected she could barely process it. "Did you just say you love me?"
He grinned, his face softening. "I sure did. Crazy shit, right?"
She started laughing through her tears. "It's ridiculous. We have no business falling in love with each other. We barely even know each other."
"First, that's bullshit. We've known each other for two years, plus we're engaged. So I think love is very reasonable." He paused to kiss her, a thorough, sassy kiss that made her heart want to dance.
"What's second?" she asked when he finally pulled back.
"Second?" He put his hand on her breast. "That's second. Did you learn nothing in middle school?"
"Not second base." She burst out laughing and slapped his hand away. "You said, 'first, that's bullshit.' What's second?"
"Oh, right." He propped himself up on his elbows. "Second, you're absolutely right. It's ridiculous, but pretty fucking awesome, don't you think?"
She nodded. "I was ready for you to let me down easy and give me the friends speech."
He smiled. "We were friends first. Lovers second. Who wants to go backwards to just friends?"
"I don't," she whispered.
"I don't either." He kissed her again, this time more slowly and thoroughly. "But, my dear, sweet Skylar, I meant it when I said I have no idea where to go from here." He pulled back. "I don't know what to do with this unexpected development." He raised his brow. "Any suggestions?"
She shook her head. "No. I don't see how it can work."
"Me either."
For a long moment, they stared at each other, then Logan sighed. "Well, you're smart as hell. I'm resourceful. We're stuck with each other until Eugene is found. That gives us time." His smile gentled, and he tucked her hair gently behind her ear. "Time to figure it out. To get this right."
Get it right? What did that mean? What did he mean? She took a breath. "If you could have anything you wanted, Logan, what would it be?"
"With us?"
She nodded.
He shrugged. "That's easy. I'd want this moment to last forever."
She laughed, her heart dancing. "You're such a romantic."
"Who knew?" He raised his brows. "What about you? If you could have anything you wanted, with us, what would it be?"
Her delighted laughter faded, and she bit her lip. God, what a question. Two days ago, she would have said, nothing, nothing, Nothing. Ever. Not with him. Not with anyone. All she'd wanted was to be safe in her little workaholic cave, numb and alone. But now? With his family? His kisses? Him? She didn't know anymore. Could she go back to her cave? She didn't feel like it. Could she truly open herself to him? She didn't know if she could, or if she were brave enough to even try.
Logan touched her cheek. "Skylar?"
She shook her head. "I don't know anymore, Logan. I…I don't know what I want, and I don't know if I could do it, even if I knew. I feel like…I don't know."
He smiled gently, empathy in his beautiful, dark eyes. "It's all right, sweetheart. We'll figure it out. We have time." He snuggled up beside her and tucked her against his body. "In the meantime, sleep with me. We both need sleep, and I can't think of anywhere I'd rather sleep than with you in my arms." He kissed the top of her head. "I love you, my sweet Skylar."
Tears filled her eyes as she held onto his arms, where they were wrapped around her so tightly. "I love you, too, Logan," she whispered.
She could tell he fell asleep almost immediately.
She didn't.
Because all she could think about was his statement that they had time. Because they didn't know that. He could get a call in thirty seconds that said Eugene had been caught.
And then they would be out of time.