Forever by Janie Crouch
Chapter Twelve
Jess
I couldn’t sleep.God knew my body was tired, but my thoughts were moving so quickly it seemed impossible to relax enough to even close my eyes.
Everything had gotten worse, and, once again, it was my fault. I hadn’t thought it could get any worse, but obviously I’d been wrong. Not only were we running for our lives, but Ethan and I were barely speaking. The tension between us was awkward and strange, and I hated it. That was my fault too.
He had been there. On my birthday. Had seen everything.
Vivid flashes of that night kept playing in my mind. Me flirting with Russell and laughing at his jokes. Hugging him and dancing with him more than I really wanted to. It was all a lie, but Ethan didn’t know that.
I covered my face with my hands even though it was dark and no one was looking at me anyway. My skin was hot with a furious blush. What did he think of me? I’d told him the situation wasn’t what he thought, but I had no idea what that was. It had to be the worst.
No wonder things had been strained and distant between us the past couple of months. I’d been all pissy and holier-than-thou because I thought he’d forgotten my birthday. I’d been such a brat to him, expecting an apology.
But he’d been distant because he’d thought I wanted to be with someone else. With Russell. The thought brought tears to my eyes. I couldn’t stand to think I’d hurt Ethan.
And the thought that our relationship might be over . . . it ripped a gaping hole in my chest.
I needed to tell him everything as soon as humanly possible. This was far beyond the point of me solving it by myself. Me and my stupid pride shouldn’t have tried to do it to begin with.
Tell Ethan, get out of this awful situation alive, and then get back to London and talk to the program heads. Show them what I’d been doing for the past few months and let them know I was certain it was either Russell or Susan who’d been planning to sell stolen secrets, but that I didn’t know which.
And then confess that I’d actually stolen the research myself.
I scrubbed my hands down my face. This had to be handled delicately because ultimately I was the one who’d taken the real data—biotech research that could easily be weaponized—without permission. I could very easily be portrayed as the bad guy if things went wrong.
But whoever had been siphoning info had been siphoning false info. I’d taken the real data and left carefully curated but utterly false information in its place. No one would be able to tell the difference at a glance.
The most important thing right now was keeping the real research safe. I hadn’t taken any chances, keeping it on me at all times. The microchip wasn’t hard to hide in the locket that I always wore—a gift from Ethan.
So if someone tried to sell what they’d stolen, they were in for an unpleasant surprise.
What I was most worried about right now was my relationship with Ethan. He had always been the most important thing in my life. And still was. More than any of the work I’d done over the years.
And it killed me that I’d put that relationship in danger, even if I’d done it for a good reason.
Sleep wasn’t going to happen, so I settled for rest instead. I tried to relax as much as I could as darkness fell around us. Alena, Russell, and Susan all fell asleep, and it wasn’t long before it was time to go.
We were shaken awake and told to gather whatever things we had. It was Ethan who reached for me, and I grabbed his hand before he could move away.
The contact was electric. Like it always had been. Even when I’d been too young to understand sexual desire, I’d always wanted to be near Ethan. My Ethan. And I wasn’t going to let a single second longer pass without him knowing that.
“I’m staying with you.” Where I belonged.
He stared at me, and for one horrible moment, I thought he was going to turn me down.
“I’m not going anywhere without you, Ethan. You hear me?”
His nod calmed me down. It was a gesture I was familiar with: a slow, solemn gesture that told me he was absorbing and processing. Taking everything in.
“Okay,” he finally said.
“Can Alena come with us too? The kidnappers were the worst to her. You saw. I’m worried about her. She might need to be around someone she can trust.”
“We’re going to have to walk about five miles. Can she make it?”
I nodded. “Yes. I know she can.”
“Okay then. Let me tell Isaac and Landon.”
He ducked away from me to talk to them, so I was the one who shook Alena gently awake beside me. “Hey girl. You okay? It’s time to go.”
She winced. “Yeah, I think so.”
“Are you okay to walk? We have about five miles to go.”
“Yeah. My leg is feeling better. But I—” she faded off.
I pulled her in for a gentle hug. “Don’t think about anything now. Let’s just get out of here.”
At the barn door, the three others on Ethan’s team and Russell and Susan were gathered together. They slipped out one by one, and Russell was last, turning to give me a wave before he disappeared into the darkness.
“What’s going on?” Alena asked.
“The car they found won’t fit everyone. You, Ethan, and I are going to the next town to steal another one. I want us to stay together.”
Alena leaned in closer. “Me too.”
Ethan came over. “Ready, ladies?”
We both nodded.
He was in mission mode again, that same badass posture that I’d seen when he’d broken into my cell. “Follow my lead and be as quiet as possible. Let me know if we need to stop.”
Ethan helped us to our feet, and we followed him to the door. There was nothing we had to take with us. Ethan had a small pack with what was left of the food and water. Other than the locket, nothing else was important.
Ethan rushed us across the open space between the barn and the tree line without letting us slow down. It was colder now, though it was in the middle of summer. The buildings where they’d kept us had been cool but not cold. Possibly there was heating, or maybe the thickness of the old stone had acted as a natural insulator against the cold.
The temperature was far lower than what I would expect for summer. So that meant we were at a higher altitude. They had taken us into the mountains. That might cause some problems for getting out. The mountains were more isolated and sparsely populated.
We kept to the shadows of the trees whenever the moon came out from behind the dense clouds. Ethan took the lead. I hung back with Alena, helping her stay as silent as possible in case anyone was around in the woods.
It wasn’t easy. I’d had training in stealth and how to hide—a byproduct of growing up in the Wyoming wilderness and it having nearly killed me more than once—but she’d lived in cities all her life, plus she was still injured. We followed Ethan’s steps as carefully as possible. He was definitely moving much slower because of us.
All things considered, it went smoothly. I was entirely focused on the movement and had no concept of how far we had gone. All I knew was that the temperature continued to drop, and if there’d been more than a scrap of light, I would have been able to see my breath.
Ethan kept moving ahead, then circling back to us. I knew he was looking out for any danger on all sides. I kept pace with Alena. It was clear that she wasn’t moving as quickly as Ethan wanted her to, but he was always quick to help and encourage her when she stumbled.
Of course he would encourage her. That was who Ethan was. He was kind and gentle and always had been. Quiet, strong, and steady. My Ethan.
A few minutes later, he stopped short, and I immediately grabbed Alena to a halt also. He backed us up quickly, retreating a few hundred feet to deeper shadows before pulling us closer to one of the large trees.
Ethan yanked me against his body, pinning me between him and the tree. I pulled Alena next to me also. She started to speak, and I slammed a hand over her mouth, shaking my head.
Ethan had heard or seen something we hadn’t.
My heart pounded against my chest in the darkness, ears straining for what had made us hide. And then I heard it. Slow, steady, crunching footsteps through the trees. My breath went shallow. We couldn’t afford to be taken back. Alena wouldn’t survive much more mistreatment.
Ethan’s arms tightened around me. It was okay. He was here. He wasn’t going to let them take us. I pulled Alena closer too.
Another set of footsteps, and then another. The group slowly passed by us. Too slowly. They were searching, like they’d been tipped off that we were on the run again and in this area.
In the darkness, I could see a shape, but I didn’t dare move. Ethan’s fingers tightened around me and Alena grabbed my hand in a death grip until they were gone.
We stayed still until the footsteps were long faded. Finally Ethan let me go.
“Let’s move,” he whispered. “Quickly.”
We did. Faster than we had before. Alena didn’t complain, and she did her best to not slow us down. None of us spoke or lost focus, just moved through trees until we could see lights on the horizon. There was the town.
But that didn’t mean much. We were still exposed, still needed to find a car.
We kept moving until we were on the outskirts, then slowly moved along the perimeter of the town. Alena’s limp was growing worse as we moved. The walk had taken its toll, and we needed to stop soon. While it had gotten colder, it had also grown damp, and we were all dragging.
“Ethan,” I whispered. He turned back and joined me. “She can’t go much farther.”
He nodded and turned away and that feeling of distance between us built again. I knew he was focused on getting us out of danger, but I also knew that we were out of sync. On the same side, but not a team. And I absolutely hated it. Hated myself because I’d caused it.
“Here,” Ethan said softly from a short distance ahead. He led us to a small building that was little more than a shed, but it was dry and clean enough. It would do.
I helped Alena inside, and she stifled a groan as she sat down.
“You all right?”
“I’ll live.”
Ethan took off the pack. “There’s more food in there. We’ll rest of a couple of hours and then find a car to get the hell out of here.”
“Sounds good to me,” Alena said.
“Do you want something to eat?” I asked her as we both took in some water.
She shook her head. “No, just sleep.”
I grabbed a granola bar out of the pack before pushing it toward her. “Use that as a pillow. Get some sleep.”
“What about you?”
“I’ll manage,” I smiled.
And I would. But I didn’t plan on sleeping, even if I might need it. Because finally, Ethan and I were as alone as we were going to get, and I needed to clear the air.
Alena curled up with the backpack, and it was only minutes before her breathing became soft and even. Ethan sat in the door of the shed, ever watchful. But he was aware of me as I came up beside him.
It was time to do this. It was time for me to tell Ethan the truth and hope it would be enough.