Avenging Angel by Naomi Porter

3

Madeline

I stared out the window into a black, nothingness. I couldn’t feel anything. Not even my heart beating in my chest. Every part of me was numb as I sat in what used to be my living room before I moved out of the trailer park to live on the KLMC compound. My emotions were all over the place. I was heartbroken, then angry. Confused, then worried.

As if I wasn’t already devastated, I wasn’t allowed in our bedroom. Raul had said Storm needed time and tried to show me to a guest room in the basement. He might as well have ripped out my heart clean from my chest. I’d told Raul to go to hell. If I couldn’t sleep in my bedroom, I wasn’t staying at the clubhouse. I didn’t care if I pissed off Raul or anyone else. They had no power over me.

After some heated words with my brother, Raul and Hero didn’t stop us from leaving. Although Raul did order a prospect to go with us.

If I thought my heart couldn’t break anymore, I was severely wrong. Not long after we got to Tara’s place, Toby sat me down to tell me what really happened twelve years ago.

Discovering Storm was Kaleb Knight, my childhood crush, was only half the madness. The man I loved was responsible for my brother’s death. I could hardly draw in a breath as I cried. I was in agony. But not for my brother, Tommy. For Storm… Kaleb. KC.

Toby squeezed my hand. “It was an accident, Maddy. A horrible, horrible accident.”

I nodded, wiping my eyes. “Maybe so…” I inhaled a shuttered breath. “But I know Kaleb. Death by his hand would never be considered a tragic accident. All this time, he’s carried unbearable guilt. It made him angry and closed off. I saw it in his eyes every day we were together but he hadn’t told me why. God, Toby. Twelve years he’s lived with this pain.”

Then I came into his life. I was his light, his Angel. He must have come undone knowing I was the sister of the boy he killed.

“I know he didn’t mean to hurt Tommy,” Toby continued. “We were all screwing around at the lake. Drinking and having a good time. Kaleb and I dared Tommy to jump in naked. It was a dumb dare, but Tommy was so chicken shit about the fish trying to suck his dick. We’d had such a long, stupid laugh about it.” Toby dropped his head and shook it. “We were tired of waiting on Tommy. We had plans with girls on grad night.”

A small smile tugged at the corner of my mouth as I wiped tears off my face. “Typical.”

“I’d told Kaleb one way to get on with it was to toss Tommy’s ass into the lake, and so he did. Tommy struggled against him, but Kaleb was stronger. When he launched him into the water, I thought I heard a thump but wasn’t sure where it came from. It was storming, bad.” Toby stopped and inhaled a deep breath. He closed his eyes, shaking his head. “Dammit, if I could rewind time. I do anything to bring him back.”

I squeezed his hand as he’d done to mine a minute ago. “You don’t have to do this.” I really didn’t want to know how my brother died. It hurt too much to open this up after a dozen years had passed.

“Yes, I do. All these years later, when I hear the crack of a bat hitting the ball, I flashback to the night Tommy died.” He hung his head in his hands. “It was my fault too. We were being assholes and it cost his life.”

“Oh, God.” I covered my mouth, utterly horrified.

“I can’t watch baseball because of it.” He sniffled, rubbing the back of his hand across his nose. Toby always loved baseball. “When Tommy didn’t pop up out of the water as he should have, Kaleb and I freaked out. Kaleb jumped into the lake to search for Tommy, but it was too damn dark and pouring down rain.” Tears streamed down Toby’s face, just as mine returned. “I swear it was an accident. I swear. We never meant to hurt him.”

I bobbed my head, swallowing and sniffling. “I know, I know.” I reeled Toby into a firm embrace.

We held each other for the longest time crying. Once we calmed, I had some questions of my own. “Why didn’t anyone tell me how Tommy really died?”

“Mom and Dad thought it was best you not know. You were so young, Maddy. You didn’t need to know Tommy’s death was because of Kaleb and me. He drowned, that was the truth, but nobody wanted you to be reminded of it each time you saw us.”

I dried my tears with a tissue. “But I would have understood it was an accident.”

“Didn’t matter. Mom and Dad gave the order, and Kaleb and I followed it.” He blew his nose, then gulped a glass of water.

“Why did he leave right after the funeral?” I remembered it like it was yesterday. Kaleb had kept me tucked into his side through the church service and burial. He’d held me while I cried, not once shedding a single tear of his own. Even so, pain and grief dwelled in his stormy gray eyes.

Kaleb had taken care of my every need. Tissues, punch, food, comfort. He never left my side. When it was over, he’d hugged me and apologized, kissing the top of my head. I’d felt better having him with me and had looked forward to the next time I saw him.

Except I never saw Kaleb Knight again.

“Do you remember Kaleb’s dad, David, was the president of the motorcycle club in Garrison?”

I nodded.

“The locals were spreading lies in town about Kaleb murdering Tommy as an initiation into the club. They didn’t know shit about how the club brought in new members, but it sure as hell wasn’t by murdering innocent people… innocent kids.”

“Oh my God…” My stomach churned.

“To defuse the gossip, Kaleb’s dad sent him to his uncle. I never knew where.” Toby balled up his tissues, jaw tight. “I’ve only heard from Kaleb twice since he moved away. When he was in the marines, he sent me a long letter apologizing for destroying our family. He took all the blame. Knowing Kaleb, he’d kept it on a low simmer inside him, so he’d never move past it.”

“I’m certain he’s been punishing himself every single day since Tommy died.” It broke my heart to think of Kaleb living in his own personal hell. “When was the second time you heard from him?”

“Back in June. He called asking for help with his security system. He said he’d found himself a good woman and wanted to make sure she was safe. He sounded happy, liked he’d finally dealt with his demons.” Toby considered me for several beats. “I’m guessing you had everything to do with it.”

“Maybe.” I shrugged, drying my eyes with a tissue. But I knew it was the truth. “Is it weird?”

“Maybe.” A small curl to his lip appeared. “But you’re a grown woman now, a beautiful woman. I can’t say I’m surprised Kaleb fell for you. Although I’m shocked as hell that you fell for a biker. When did a beard and ink appeal to you?”

My cheeks warmed. It was strange talking about my romantic life with Toby. In all my life I never had. It was more strange that he used to be best friends with the man I loved. “It only appeals to me with him. So… you came to help him?”

“Yes. I wasn’t going to pass up the chance. I’d missed the hell out of him. Gotta say I was shocked to see he lived in the next town over from you.”

“It’s crazy that I never saw him before two months ago.” I gazed out the front window, wishing Kaleb would magically appear at the door.

“Storm…” Toby snickered. “His road name fits him.”

“It does. I only call him Storm when others are around. He’s Kaleb to me when it’s just the two of us.” I rubbed my hand over my heart. The ache was increasing the longer I was apart from my man.

He playfully elbowed me. “So, you two are serious?”

“Yes. I’m in love with him. But I’m not sure how he feels about me after all this.” A lump formed in my throat, again. “I don’t want to lose him.”

Toby studied my face for a beat. “Why do you think you’ll lose him?”

“He’s walked away from me before because he said I deserved better. Now he knows I’m Tommy’s little sister. It’s gotta be killing him.” My chest rattled with emotion but I held back the tears. I was tired of crying. “I can’t lose him over this, Toby. I can’t.”

“What do you think you’ll do?”

“Well, he said he needed space and didn’t want me in our room, so I’m going to stay here until he talks to me. God, I hope he wants to work through this.” I twisted my hands together, tossing up a silent prayer. I didn’t want to live without him.

“Isn’t he going to be upset you  left the compound?”

I worried my bottom lip, feeling a twinge of nervous flutters in my stomach. Kaleb would be furious I left, but I refused to say in a guest room in the basement.

“That’s his tough shit. He should’ve sucked it up and talked to me. He shouldn’t have kicked me out of our bedroom.” My face heated. How could Kaleb push me away so quickly?

“Damn, Maddy. When did you become a badass?” he teased, probably trying to lighten the mood. It didn’t work, though. I felt utterly lost without Kaleb.

“I’m not really a badass. I’m trying… I’m just so…” I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Like my world was falling into a black abyss. Fear paralyzed me.

Toby patted my knee. “It’ll be okay, Maddy.”

“What if it’s not? What if Kaleb shuts me out forever? It’s just the kind of thing he’d do, y’know.”

“I know, sis. Believe me, I know…” He sagged into the sofa and held my hand. He was always so strong, even after losing Tommy and Kaleb on the same day. It broke my heart knowing he had to keep the truth from me all this time. Maybe I could’ve helped him like he was helping me now.