Reconcile by Nicole Dykes
I kissed him.
Oh my God, I kissed him.
What the hell was I thinking?
Okay, so yeah. He’s gorgeous. Even more so than he was when we were eighteen. The bastard. And seeing him with Audrey . . . God, it did something to me I can’t explain.
Tucking her in together like that. Talking about our day like a normal family.
I groan and pull the plum-colored comforter over my eyes because the sunlight is illuminating the reality of what happened too brightly.
I kissed him.
I can’t even blame him for starting it. No, that was all me. I pressed my lips to his soft, firm ones and kissed him.
I could just stay here in the dark and avoid facing that, being perfectly happy with that until I hear the distinct sound of my daughter’s loud giggle.
Audrey’s up.
Of course, she is. It’s Saturday during the summer. Why wouldn’t my child be up at the crack of dawn?
I toss the covers off and climb out of bed, wearing my cute sleep set that has lemons covering the white tee and matching short shorts and head into Audrey’s room. Her bed is empty, so I follow the sound of her giggle down the stairs, wondering if I should have grabbed a robe.
Not because I’m barely dressed, but because it’s cuter than anything else.
And then I kick myself for that thought. Cute is fine. I’m a mom. I don’t need to impress Sawyer.
And it’s him who I spot first in the kitchen. The annoyingly handsome bastard is already dressed in tight jeans and a black button-down shirt he’s rolled up at the sleeves.
Of course, he’s this goddamn gorgeous early in the morning when I’m standing here looking cute in my pjs.
But my insecurities fade away quickly when I see Audrey next to him, stirring something in a big mixing bowl. She’s dressed in a cute white and turquoise sundress—which I definitely didn’t buy, so it must be from the clothes that mysteriously filled her closet—with her hair neatly brushed. “Mommy! We’re making pancakes!”
“What would we do, Pipes?”
I laugh, easily as I lie on my back in Sawyer’s bed looking up at the ceiling. “Make pancakes from scratch.”
The memory comes from out of nowhere and slams into me as Sawyer catches my eye. “You okay?”
“You learned how to make pancakes?”
His lips quirk. “Not from scratch.”
Oh my God, he remembers.
I stand there, stunned, as my eyes remain on Audrey. She looks so damn happy as she stirs the batter, making a huge mess. But Sawyer is patient and unbothered by it. “Okay, you ready?”
Audrey nods excitedly as they move over to the griddle. Audrey reaches out, and I’m about to leap over there, but Sawyer playfully grabs her little hand before she makes contact.
“That’s hot, kiddo. You need that hand to draw me more pictures.”
“How long have you two been awake?” I notice the crayons and paper on the kitchen table with Audrey’s art and some that must be Sawyer’s, judging by the pictures of cars and trucks.
Audrey mostly draws unicorns and flowers.
He shrugs. “Not too long. We thought we’d let you sleep.”
I move closer as Sawyer pours the batter onto the hot griddle. “Did she wake you up?”
“I tried to wake you up, Mommy, but you didn’t want to. So I found Swearer.”
He grins at that. “I was up already. It’s no big deal.”
I nod, surprised I didn’t wake up when Audrey tried to wake me. I’m usually a light sleeper. And maybe I should be worried that I didn’t, but I know in my gut that I trust Sawyer.
With Audrey, at least.
“Thank you.”
His smile is briefly directed at me before he hands Audrey the turner. “You ready to flip ’em?”
She gawks at him, which pulls a small laugh from me, causing her to look over at me for approval. I nod. “Go on. You can do it.”
Sawyer shows her how, and then she almost perfectly turns one of the pancakes over. “I did it!”
“He—” Sawyer catches himself quickly. “Heck yeah, you did. High five!”
Her little hand slaps his, and there goes my stupid heart again.
When they finish making a stack of pancakes and placing them on a plate, Sawyer sets the table and invites me to join them. “You going to eat with us?”
Audrey tugs on my hand. “Sit next to me, Mommy.”
I don’t argue and sit down, loving to see her so happy.
“What’s on the agenda today?” Sawyer asks as he sips from his coffee mug.
I stand up and grab my own cup of coffee. “I need to find a babysitter.”
“What about Angela?” Audrey whines as she stuffs a huge piece of pancake into her mouth.
I smile at her as I take a seat again, watching her chew the massive bite. “She lives pretty far away, sweetie.”
She told me she’d babysit the last time I talked to her, but she also said I should give this a real try and do what I needed to do.
“What about Viv?” Sawyer interjects, and I look over at him, shaking my head already.
“I can’t ask her to do that. She has a job and is pregnant and has Baz.”
“She’d love it. It would give Baz someone to play with during the summer and hopefully keep that little monster busy.” He winks at Audrey, who giggles.
Don’t melt stupid, stupid heart.
I take a sip of my coffee, relishing how good it tastes. “What about her job?”
“She doesn’t work as much in the summer. But Ash is a teacher, so his lazy as—” he corrects himself, “butt is home a lot during the summer too. They’d both happily watch Audrey.”
I have no doubt they’d take good care of her, but I shift uncomfortably in my seat. This has always been my struggle with Audrey.
Wanting to do it all on my own but not wanting to let her down. Not wanting others to raise her but needing to provide for her.
“Or you could quit and just stay with her.”
My eyes snap to Sawyer, fire burning inside me. “What?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “It’s just a suggestion.”
“I have a job.”
Again, with the easy shrug of his broad shoulders. “You could quit. I’d be happy to provide—”
I cut him off, “We’re living here to save money to buy a home up to your standards.” I notice Audrey’s wide eyes on me and silently curse myself. Softening my tone, I say to Sawyer, “I’ll talk to Viv.”
He nods, but he’s not as unbothered as he seems Because his jaw ticks with annoyance. “Okay, good.”
“Good.”
I kiss Audrey on the top of the head and excuse myself to go get dressed.
Why do I let him get me so riled up?
