Waste My Time by Kelsey Clayton

Stepping outside,I close the door behind me and shrink further into Easton's hoodie. Not because it's cold out, but because I need the comfort it provides. After finding out he lied about what he did with the drugs, it's as if I don't know which way is up. My brain is a scrambled mess of thoughts, and all I want to do is curl into a ball and close my eyes until it goes away.

Easton sits on the steps and smokes his cigarette. I almost just want to sit here and watch him. From the way tattoos cover his skin and the smoke he exhales lingers in the air, he's mesmerizing. But letting myself do that means letting myself get lost in him again, and that is one thing I won't do right now.

“Tessa said you wanted to see me,” I say as I sit down.

He won't look at me. Won't even so much as glance in my direction. “Please don't hate me after this.”

“You're scaring me.”

“There was a point where I scared myself.” He takes another puff of his cigarette, and when he exhales, he begins. “Before I came here, I was at UCLA. Tess and I had broken up before I left for school, and it sucked. I won't lie. The whole time we were together, I convinced myself we were just casual. But when I left, it didn't feel very casual anymore.”

I pull the sleeves over my hands as I listen, afraid of what comes next but not saying anything that will interrupt him.

“My roommate and a couple of our friends were taking pills, and anytime they did, they offered some to me. They promised it would help with the pain of missing Tess, so one day, I gave in and took them. For the first time, something helped. And that one time led to a dependency.

“When I realized I had a problem, I panicked. I transferred to NHU and moved home. In my mind, if I got my old life back, the one without the drug problem, that everything would be fine. But when I tried to get Tess back, she had already moved on with Asher.”

“Wait,” I stop him and take a breath. “I appreciate you telling me all this, but if it ends with you getting back with Tessa, I'd rather be left in the dark.”

He shakes his head. “That's not how it ends. She's happy in her relationship, and she's not the girl I want anymore.”

“Okay,” I say with a nod. “You can keep going then.”

“That doesn't mean it won't still hurt though.”

“That's okay. I'm a big girl. I can take it.”

Looking away from me, he doesn't fight it and continues. “When she shot me down, I felt the same way I did at UCLA. So, I fell back into the pills, and this time, I fell deeper. I got wrapped up with Blade and started working for him in exchange for drugs. I was sucked into a black hole. And when Tessa trusted me to help her after she and Asher broke up, I sucked her in with me.

“She started taking the pills for the same reason I did—to get over the pain of a breakup. If I wasn't so wrapped up in having her attention again, I might've noticed how bad she was slipping. But I didn't. Not until it was almost too late, anyway.”

He takes another puff of his cigarette, and I can tell this is hard for him to talk about. Goosebumps raise across his skin, and he twitches like he's seeing something different from his backyard.

“Your nightmares?” I ask carefully.

He nods. “One night, Zayn and I were having a party. Tess was high and drunk and in a good mood for once, until she saw a guy who had tried slipping something into her drink a couple months before that. I beat the shit out of him, of course. I'd do that for any girl. But he got a few hits in, too. Tess brought me upstairs to clean me up, and things got...out of hand.

“Maybe it was the adrenaline that clouded my judgment or the mix of drugs and alcohol, but I manipulated her into sleeping with me. If you ask her, she swears it wasn't rape and she yells at me when I call it that, but once I was in my right frame of mind, I realized how little she was into it.”

Pausing, he runs a hand over his face and tries to contain his emotions. I reach over and take his hand in mine so he knows I'm not going anywhere.

“I left my bedroom feeling like I was on top of the world, but she felt lower than she ever has in her life. I had told her where to find my stash so she could take another one, and I went down to grab a beer. When I got back, she had taken them all.

“The fact that she's alive is a miracle, because when she left my house on a stretcher that night, she was anything but. The paramedics were doing CPR to keep her heart beating but as they closed the doors, I heard one of them radio in that she had no pulse.”

I tighten my grip on his hand. “But she's okay. She's right inside. She's fine now. You don't have to blame yourself.”

He won't hear any of it as he shakes his head. “She's okay now because of Delaney and Asher and herself. The condition she's in now is in no way thanks to me.” Turning to face me, he stares into my eyes. “I ruined her, Kennedy, and I am so fucking afraid that I'm going to do the same to you. To our child.”

“You won't,” I say assuredly. “I know you won't, because you love us. Both of us. And you're smarter now. You didn't take the drugs Alec gave you, because you're smarter now.”

“What if I do?” His voice shakes as his vulnerability shows.

I reach up and place a hand on his cheek. “You won't. Tessa wasn't the only one who got better after that night. And maybe it took you a little longer than it did her, but you did it. You and Tessa both did.”

He leans forward and rests his forehead on mine, finally letting the tension leave his body. “You called her.”

It was a move that shocked even me, if I'm honest, but I felt helpless. I remembered that he was confiding in her. His thoughts. His fears. His nightmares. The only thing I wanted in that moment was for him to be okay. And she came running the second I asked her to. Not because she's in love with him, or because they share a romantic history, but because he's her friend and she cares. I think a part of me will always be uncomfortable when it comes to her, but this is a good step.

“Yeah,” I sigh. “She's not the worst.”

His lips ghost across my own, and I can already feel the electricity between us. It's so tempting to just lean in and close the distance between us, but...

“Easton,” I breathe. “Please. Don't.”

He stops trying to kiss me and backs away. “I'm sorry.”

“Don't be,” I tell him. “You took a step in the right direction today. I appreciate you being open and honest with me. But that doesn't change the big step back we took earlier. I'm not going anywhere, but I also need to know that you're not going to hide drugs in your nightstand for you to take if things get tough.”

His brows furrow. “How did you...”

“Because I know you better than you think I do,” I answer simply. “We're having a baby, Easton. Things are going to get hard. I just want to know that I don't need to worry about you when I have a million other things to worry about.”

A look of determination spreads across his face as he stands up and puts his hand out for me to take. He pulls me into the house and over to our friends.

“Give me the coke,” he demands.

They all look at him like he's lost his mind, until Zayn and Knox nod at Tessa. She pulls the baggie out of her back pocket and hands it to him. He doesn't let go of me until we get into the bathroom. Opening the baggie, he looks down at the coke inside of it and then pours it right into the toilet. Once it's all ruined, he drops the bag in it too and flushes it down.

“I will do whatever it takes to show you that you don't need to worry about me,” he says to me as it disappears.

And for the first time in a long time, I believe him.

WE ALL SIT IN the living room, joking around and just having a good time. Being near Tessa, I can see why she fits in with them. She doesn't take any of their shit and is the last person to agree with something simply because everyone else is. Honestly, she's kind of intimidating, but I think that's just part of her strength. Though what I can't figure out is how she and Delaney are twins. They look similar, but their personalities couldn't be more different.

Easton keeps me right next to him and makes sure I know that if I want it, I have his complete attention. And while he's cracked some jokes with Tessa that I don't understand because I wasn't there, it's only because they're friends.

My phone vibrates in my pocket for the fourth time in two minutes, and I hit the ignore button. He’s the last person I want to talk to right now, and if he knows what's good for him, he'll stop calling. But of course it starts to vibrate again, just showing that he has a death wish.

“What the fuck do you want?” I answer, and the whole room goes quiet.

Alec sighs in relief. “You haven't answered me all day. I was worried.”

“Don't be,” I scoff. “I'm fine and so is Easton, no thanks to you.”

“Ken, you've got it all wrong. Just come talk to me,” he pleads. “I'm outside.”

Of course, he is, because intruding in things he doesn't belong in is apparently a specialty of his. “Well, I'm not home.”

“I know,” he says. “I'm outside Easton's.”

Zayn and Easton are sitting on either side of me and can hear Alec through the phone, and as he says that, their heads whip toward each other. Zayn jumps up and runs over to the window, then looks back at Easton and nods. Anger courses through me as I hang up the phone and storm out the door. Alec is standing in the street when I get out there.

“You have a lot of fucking nerve showing up here,” I sneer, not paying attention to the crowd that pours out of the house to see what happens.

Alec raises his hands in defense. “You have to listen to me. He asked for them. Practically begged me!”

“He begged for them,” I repeat back to him with my words practically dripping venom. “He didn't even fucking use it, Alec!”

“Wait, Alec?” Knox asks. “This is the fucker responsible for this shit?”

“Yeah,” Easton answers. “But don't—”

He can't even finish his sentence before Knox is already walking toward Alec. “No, fuck that. You like messing with people's lives, you little shit? Is that it?”

“Man, get out of my face,” Alec huffs, but Knox isn't having it.

“I don't think so. You want to fuck with my friends, you fuck with me,” he growls.

It all happens in a split second. As Knox gets closer in Alec's face, Alec tries to push him away. Knox takes a step back and then swings his fist full force into Alec's cheek. The swings don't stop as he takes him to the ground. I've heard stories about Knox's history of fighting, knowing he even trained Zayn, but seeing it in person is something completely different.

“Knox!” I scream.

Alec doesn't stand a chance against him, and after trying to throw a few punches, he resorts to simply covering himself from the attack. Panic fills my chest as I scream Knox's name again, but he's not listening to me. I go to try pulling him off when Amelia's voice echoes through the air.

“Kennedy!” she yells. “The baby!”

Fuck. I stop in my tracks and run my fingers through my hair. Finally, I do the one thing I can think of to get him to stop. I turn to face the only person who has any control over him.

“Delaney,” I beg. “Please.”

She glances at Tessa before stepping closer to the fight. “Knox.”

With a practiced skill, like she's used to this kind of thing, she puts a hand on his arm and his attention immediately goes from Alec to her.

“That's enough.”

He shakes his head. “But he—”

“I know,” she says softly. “Come on.”

She pulls him back and he goes willingly, wiping Alec's blood off his fist and onto his jeans. Meanwhile, Alec stands up and looks at me. I'm pretty sure his nose is broken, and he spits blood out onto the street.

“Do you see what he did to me?” he shouts. “These are the kind of people you want to be around? The kind of people you want your baby around?”

“Oh, fuck no,” Easton says and goes to step toward him, but at least with him, I have more of a say.

I put my hands on Easton's chest and hold him back. “No. Let me handle this.”

Thankfully, he doesn't put up a fight, but it's clear if Alec tries anything, there will be no stopping him. I spin around to face Alec again and shake my head.

“You did this to yourself,” I say simply. “I trusted you! I confided in you, and you used it against him!”

“I was just trying to show you what a lowlife he is!”

“Recovering from an addiction doesn't make him a lowlife, but trying to get him to relapse for your own personal gain sure as hell makes you one.”

A humorless laugh bubbles out of him. “So that's it? You're picking him?”

“I was always going to pick him,” I deadpan.

He looks at me in disgust. “You're making a mistake. I could take care of you. You and the baby.”

I scoff and roll my eyes. “You're not hearing me. I will never want you! Things between you and I are never going to happen! If you thought otherwise, that's on you. After today, I never want to see you again. Now leave, before I let Knox have at you again.”

Pulling his gaze away from me, he looks at Knox, who cracks his knuckles with an evil grin. Alec huffs and shakes his head before climbing in his truck and driving away. Everyone starts to head back inside, but Easton is too busy watching me. He comes over and wipes a tear from my cheek, the only one I'll shed for the loss of someone I thought was a friend.

“You okay?”

I look up at him and nod.

“Come here,” he tells me and pulls me into a hug, kissing the top of my head. “I've got you.”

And I think he just might.

THE CAR DRIVES DOWN the street, but I have no idea where we're going. The blindfold does its job in making sure I can't see a thing. Tye and Amelia have music blasting in my ears so I can't even hear what they're talking about, until the car comes to a stop and they hit pause on the music.

“Are we there yet?” I ask. “Not that I know where there is.”

Amelia chuckles. “Almost. I just need you to come with us.”

The two of them help me out of the car and start leading me somewhere unbeknownst to me. One of them walks in front while the other holds my hips from behind.

“If you walk me into something, I swear to God, I'll throw hands,” I tell them.

Amelia laughs but Tye isn't as amused. “You're pregnant, and even if you weren't, you couldn't take me.”

“I know,” I agree. “That's why I keep you on my good side. You're my little pit bull.”

They lead me into what feels like an elevator, and Amelia reads off a code. I almost fall as it jerks and we're lifted up. I swear, my balance would be better if I could fucking see. When the elevator dings and I hear the doors open, they lead me out of it.

“Are you ready?” Meelz asks.

I nod and she pulls the blindfold off to reveal a penthouse, decorated in blue baby decor.

“Happy surprise baby shower!” Amelia and Tye yell together.

Tessa and Delaney are standing there, along with Paige and a few of the girls from cheerleading. My eyes tear up as I take it all in. It's perfection, all the way down to the giant blue blocks that spell out DONOVAN.

“Where are we?” I question as I look around, seeing some football memorabilia.

“Tessa and Asher's penthouse,” Amelia answers.

Tye shrugs. “We would have done it at my house, but you live there, and it's a little hard to set up a surprise when you're in the house.”

Tess comes over and gives me a warm smile. “They worked hard for this. You're a lucky girl.”

“Thanks,” I reply. “I really do have the best friends.”

She nods. “Well, I'll get out of your hair. Tye, just text me when you're done. Okay?”

“Sure thing.”

As Tessa and Delaney go to leave, something comes over me that I can't explain. And before I can second guess it, I turn around and call her name.

“Stay,” I tell her, shocking both Tye and Amelia. “It'll be fun.”