Stryker’s Fight by Erin Osborne

Chapter Twenty-One

Sally

I’VE GOTTEN THE all clear from the doctor. I can go up and see my son as much as I want to, and he wants me to start moving around more. I’ll have to remain in the hospital a few more days to make sure no more infection sets in as the cuts and things continue to heal. They’re honestly almost completely healed, but I have the incision in my stomach from them having to get our son out of me. I’m going to start making myself cut down on the pain medication too. The less I have to take, the more I’ll be alert and not ready to sleep and take naps. It’s a pain always feeling as if I’m in a fog and not ready to talk or do much of anything.

I’m excitedly waiting for a nurse to bring me in a wheelchair so I can head up to NICU. Stryker isn’t in here right now and I’m waiting for him too. I hate that our son can’t be with us, and that he’s had a shitty start to his life, but there’s nothing I can do about it now. The only thing I can do is love him unconditionally and try to help him through anything that gets in our way as he continues to grow and develop. Stryker will do the same and we’ll have the full support of the club too. They’ve all been up to see him and watch him through the glass and I have yet to lay eyes on my child.

Natalia is in here with me for as long as she possibly can. Gwen or whoever has her only leaves to get her food and if she gets too cranky. My daughter is stubborn and will do what she wants. Especially when she’s tired. We try to make her go home before she gets to the cranky stage of her tiredness. It doesn’t always happen though. Yesterday she had a terrible tantrum in the middle of my room. A nurse rushed in to make sure no one was hurting me. As she turned to leave, we all got a sympathetic look as if she completely understood where we were coming from. Gwen and Killer took her to their house.

One of the ol’ ladies has started watching over the kids so they’re not cooped up here at the hospital. Gwen is the only who comes to the hospital now that I’m starting the long road of recovery. It’s not going to be easy physically and even worse mentally. The nightmares and feelings of fear and trauma aren’t just going to go away overnight. Every time I look at our son, I’ll remember how he came into this world and why he was born early. It all has to do with Chrome and the beatings. I’ll never forget the asshole and what he’s done to my family.

If this entire experience has taught me one thing, it’s that life it way too short and we need to live each day as if it’s our last. Is there a chance Stryker could get killed or severely injured while out on club business or during some rivalry with another club? Absolutely. However, he could walk out to the hospital parking lot or cross the road and get hit by a car. He could be riding his bike, and something happen. There are no guarantees in this life and it’s time for me to pull up my big girl panties and get on with my life. A life that I want Stryker in as much as he wants to be in it. I’m done pushing him away and keeping him at arm’s length. I just need to figure out how to tell him that.

I’m sitting up in the bed when the door opens. Looking up, hoping it to be the nurse with my wheelchair, I watch Stryker walk in the door. He saunters toward me, a smile on his face.

“Are you ready mama?” he asks me, excitement filling the room.

“I’m more than ready,” I answer him, holding out my hand for him to take. “Stryker, I need to tell you something.”

“You can tell me anythin’. You know that Sally,” he says, looking down at me as the smile vanishes from his face.

“I’m done. I am not going to push you away anymore. I want you and I want to be with you. This whole thing has proven to me again just how short life is and I’m not going to wait another minute to think about all the possible scenarios of what can happen. That’s if you still want to be with me.”

“Of course I do,” he responds as if I’ve lost my mind. “It’s all I’ve wanted since you moved here. So, you won’t get mad when I tell you I’ve moved all of your things back into our home?”

“No, I won’t,” I answer, laughter filling my voice.

Stryker leans down over me and presses a chaste kiss against my lips. He doesn’t let me deepen the kiss because we can’t do anything more than kiss right now. Hell, I won’t be surprised if Stryker places me in bubble wrap until he knows I’m a hundred percent cleared and won’t shatter like glass. Stryker won’t let me out of his sight once I leave here, I already know it.

Pulling back from me, the nurse finally enters my room pushing a wheelchair in front of her. These nurses all smile all the time. Not a single one of them has been aggravated or nasty to me since I’ve been here. Even with all of the club here in my room or the ol’ ladies and my daughter. They come in, do their job, and make their way on to the next patient. Not a single one of them says a word now when someone brings me in something to eat from the diner or somewhere else. I can’t stand hospital food and have refused to eat it on more than one occasion. Especially now that I’m back on a regular diet.

“Are you ready to go to NICU?” she asks me, her voice happy and bubbly.

“I am. I can’t wait to see my son,” I gush.

Stryker and the nurse help me into the wheelchair. I’m told she has to push me up to the floor and then someone else will push me back down. I don’t care what has to happen as long as I get to see my son. Stryker’s been updating me and hopefully we’ll be able to hold him today. I’m not sure why he hasn’t gone in to see him, but he hasn’t at this point in time. We’ll talk about it later. I need to know if he’s going to be okay with our son. Or why he hasn’t gone in to hold him.

As soon I’m in the chair, a blanket covers my lap and we’re off to the elevator. Not a single person can make the smile disappear from my face. Stryker pushes the button, and we wait for the doors to open for us. It doesn’t take very long before they’re sliding open. The nurse wheels me inside and pushes the button for the floor we need. Our son is so far away from us, and we need to spend some time with him. I don’t want him so far away, but I don’t have a choice in the matter right now.

“Are you nervous?” Stryker asks me as the doors open and I’m pushed from the elevator.

“Yes. Who’s up here watching over him today?”

“Killer and Playboy are up here.”

Nodding my head, I’m pushed up to the door leading into where all the babies are.

“We get to go inside?” I ask, tilting my head to look at the nurse behind me.

“Yes, you do. You might even be able to hold and feed your baby.”

Looking to Stryker, I have tears falling down my face. They’re happy tears that we get to physically connect with him now. It doesn’t matter to me if it’s something as simple as holding his hand. As long as I can touch him, I’ll be happy. Another nurse steps in to bring us in to where our son is resting in an incubator.

“Hello. I’m so happy to see you. We were actually just getting ready to feed your little one. Would you like to do it?” the second nurse asks.

“Please?”

“Absolutely. How about we get you in the rocking chair so it will be more comfortable for you and the baby. I’ll bring in another chair for your husband,” she tells me.

I’m helped into a chair where I wait patiently for my son to be handed over. Stryker is standing right behind me with his hand on my shoulder. When the second chair is brought over, Stryker doesn’t move from his position behind me. The nurse helps me pull down my gown and adds another blanket to my body. She wants me to have skin on skin contact with him as he eats his bottle. Stryker’s eyes land on my naked breasts and stares. His eyes instantly fill with lust and desire. I always want to see that in his eyes when he’s looking at me. Though I’m not sure what he’s going to think with all of the new scars on my body.

When she hands him to me, there isn’t anything attached to him. She lets us know he’s keeping his temperature up and has been eating on his own for a little while now. He’s not up to the weight they’d like him to be at this time, but he’s getting closer.

“Have you guys thought about his name yet?” the nurse asks, handing me over a small bottle.

Looking up at Stryker, he nods to me. He’s letting me name our son. I have the perfect name in mind for him too.

“I’d like to name him Kaden Richard Gilbert. What do you think Stryker?”

“I know why Richard. What about Kaden?”

“I just really like the name. And it works with Richard as a middle name. Are you sure you’re okay with it?” I ask him, wanting him to make sure he likes it too.

“I like it.”

For the next few minutes, we’re left alone with our son. We both watch him eat from the small bottle. I stop him after a little bit to burp him. Holding Kaden against my bare skin and feeling his skin on mine is something I wasn’t sure we’d have happen. Now, seeing him with my own eyes, I can’t believe what a fighter he is. Kaden opens his little eyes, showing me right now they’re the same color as Stryker’s. He’s going to look just like his daddy. I couldn’t be happier, though I’m not looking forward to having to beat down the little girls who try to break his heart. It will happen.

Moving Kaden to a more comfortable position so I can continue to feed him, Stryker finally sits down in the other chair. The nurse walks back in to check on things and tells him he should remove his shirt too. It’s important for each of us to spend time during the day with Kaden directly resting against our skin. Not just for me to do so, but for each of us. He slides his cut off and places it on the back of the chair before removing his tee-shirt. My mouth waters as I take in his bare skin and the muscles filling his body. Even sitting down, I can tell each of his muscles.

“See somethin’ you like?” he asks me, a smirk on his face as he watches me.

“Yes, I do.”

I look back down at Kaden as he finishes the bottle. Instead of burping him, Stryker stands up and pulls him into his arms. Kaden looks even smaller as he rests against Stryker’s chest. His skin is already showing the darker tones like his father. My man carefully burps Kaden almost as if he’s scared he’s going to hurt him. He’s not, but he won’t listen to me right now.

I turn my attention toward the window to find Killer standing with his arm wrapped around Gwen’s shoulders. Natalia is in her arms as she waves like crazy at us from the other side of the glass. She’s not happy she can’t be in here with us, but it’s the rules of the NICU. Once we get home, Natalia can spend as much time with her baby brother as she wants. No one will be able to dictate to us what we can and can’t do. Pulling the blankets up against my skin better since my gown is still down, I make sure none of my parts are showing to the men watching us through the window.

Every single member of our family seems to be outside the window of the NICU nursery. Smiles cover their faces and I know it’s because this is the first time in almost a month we’ve been able to see our son. Well, I’ve been able to see our son. It’s the first time we’ve been able to hold him since he was born though. Today is a great day and this is going to be the first of many memories we build with Kaden. As soon as we go home, we’ll build memories with both of our children. That’s all I want in my life; to build as many good memories as possible with my family. Including my extended family.

Looking back out to the window, Gwen and a few others have their phones out and are snapping photos of Stryker holding Kaden. I turn my attention back toward him to find my man staring down at our son. He’s already in love with Kaden and it’s shining for anyone looking on to see. His eyes are on our son with love, amazement, and wonder shining bright. Kaden is going to be a quarter of his world as Natalia, the club, and I take up the rest. Stryker has more than enough love to give even though he’s been broken and didn’t believe someone could love him. I love him, my daughter loves him, and so many others.

“I love you, Stryker,” I tell him without worry.

Right now is the perfect moment to tell him how I truly feel about him. I’ve always loved him, and he deserves to know it.

“I love you too Sally. I have since you first came to Benton Falls, I think. I love our family, and I can’t wait until we bring our baby boy home. Kaden is such a small baby,” he tells me.

“And you’re in protective mode. We can’t bring him home until they allow us to. Then, you can be as overprotective as you want. For now, the nurses and doctors need to be able to do their job. We’ll spend as much time up here as we can. When we’re not up here, the rest of our family will be here to watch over Kaden.”

“You know me all too well,” he says, a sexy smirk on his face. “Do you want to hold him again?”

“Yes please,” I tell him, just as Kaden begins scrunching up his body and moving around.

“Um, I think he’s goin’ to the bathroom right now,” Stryker says looking at me with a worried expression on his face.

“I’m sure he is.”

Stryker holds our son for a few minutes until he’s sure he’s done. I press the button to get the nurse over here so I can make sure we have permission to change our son’s diaper. This is the hardest part of this situation. We have to ask and double check with someone to do everything concerning our son. However, I’m going to do what we need to so we can keep him getting stronger and better every single day.

“Can I help you?” another nurse walks over to us, her eyes glued to a half-naked Stryker.

“Yeah. Our son just went to the bathroom, and I want to make sure we can change him,” I tell her, making my voice slightly harder to get her attention on me.

“Yeah, you can change him. I can stay here to help you,” she returns, her attention still on my man as he holds our son.

“That’s not necessary,” Stryker responds, never looking at the woman.

She leaves with a frown on her face. Standing up, Stryker lays Kaden back in his bassinet thing and helps me get up. After making sure my gown is righted and I’m completely covered. Somewhere he found a robe to wrap around me so I’m not mooning everyone standing at the window. That’s not a sight they need to see. Together, we change Kaden’s diaper. Stryker does most of the work and I guide him. He does an amazing job as I pick him back up and hold him in my arms. I’m not skin on skin right this second, but I can be soon. For now, I simply want to hold Kaden and reassure myself he’s really here fighting for each and every single breath he takes into his tiny body.