Willow by Erin Osborne
Chapter One
Trinity ‘Willow’ Walsh
I’M HIDING IN the bathroom at home, pacing the small room as I wait for the seconds to slowly tick by. Sweat covers my entire body, my heart is racing, and whatever I’m about to see is going to change my life in one way or another. I have no clue what outcome I’m hoping for or what I’ll do depending on what it says. All I know is I took a chance and am now suffering the consequences of that decision to be spontaneous for once in my life. A chance I’m not sure if it was worth considering I can’t forget about it for one second of the day.
When the alarm on my phone goes off, I jump and almost slip and fall into the tub. The last thing I need is to get hurt when there is so much riding on what I’m about to find out in the next few seconds. Taking a deep breath, I try to calm down my racing heart before taking a few steps over to the counter where the bathroom sink sits. Closing my eyes for a few seconds, I try to compose myself before opening them back up to see what fate holds in store for me. Looking down at the little stick resting on the box, I see the plus sign on the test sitting there. My breath catches in my throat, and I have to take a deep breath in an attempt to suck some air back into my lungs before I pass out.
No. No, no, no, no. This cannot be happening to me right now. I can’t believe I’m going to be a mom. Tears slide down my face as I realize what’s going to happen now. Yes, I made a decision to go out and blow off some steam one night almost three months ago. It’s the last time I’ve had sex because there is too much I have to do and take care of here at home. Other than that, I haven’t had sex in over a year and a half. However, it’s the night almost three months ago that I can’t get out of my mind. I went to a bar, met a sexy man who said all the right things, and I left willingly with him. Even though we sat at the bar for hours, I wasn’t even the slightest bit drunk. The only beer I had, I sipped and made last until it was warm and tasted like shit.
The guy and I decided not to exchange names and knew we’d only be together for one night before moving on and going our separate ways. All I know about him is he’s a biker based on the leather vest he was wearing and placed lovingly on the dresser when we got back to the small motel room we had for the night. He immediately captured my attention when I sat down a few stools down from him. His long blond hair was down to his shoulders, and it had a slight wave to it. Piercing blue eyes stared back at me when I looked at him. It was as if he could see into my soul with the way he stared at me and looked right in my eyes. I’m not going to say he didn’t look at my body because he did. However, he spent more time staring into my eyes than my tits. You don’t get that very often when you’re stacked and most guys only care about seeing my tits whether I have clothes on or not.
It wasn’t long before he slid down the few bar stools between us and we struck up a conversation. He didn’t bombard me with pickup lines or be crude. All he did was have a general conversation with me about nothing important. I’m sure he could talk about the weather, and it would be the most thrilling conversation a woman had. His deep voice is gravelly and sent tremors through my body from head to toe. We didn’t let our conversation turn personal or dig too deep into one another. After a few hours, he asked me if I wanted to get out of there and I agreed. I followed him in my beat up car to a motel down the road where we spent the next several hours exploring one another’s bodies and I experienced more pleasure from him than ever before in my life. Not a single person has ever made me feel the way this man with no name did. Yeah, I know I could have looked to figure out his name or even what club he was with. I didn’t spend that much time looking at his vest because there was so much else to take in.
The man’s body is a work of art. He has tattoos covering his arms, his chest, even one on his neck. While I explored most of his tattoos with my fingers and tongue, I didn’t spend a lot of time trying to figure out what they were. On top of the tattoos, he had both of his ears pierced and a Jacob’s ladder piercing in his cock. I’ve never been with a man who’s got a pierced dick before, but I loved the way the barbells slid against me and the pleasure he got when I pulled on them when I had him in my mouth. The man also has that sexy V we can’t get enough of as women. His body was hard to my soft with muscles bulging from every part of him. A thick neck led to a strong, firm chest, and large arms. Washboard abs led to his long, thick cock where muscular thighs were thicker than any part of my body. Everything I’ve also loved in a man. Especially his back. Watching the muscles move as he dressed again was like watching porn. I love a muscular back, especially when it’s covered in a tattoo.
The more time I spent with him, the more I realized I don’t have time to be with someone because I have so much responsibility here at home. It’s something I’ve lived by for so long because there is someone depending on me, and I owe her everything. My grandma is sick, and I have to take care of her. She’s been sick for a long time and no one else in our family is willing to set their lives aside to help me. My parents aren’t here anymore. They were killed in an accident so long ago and my gram took me in. She didn’t have to, but she chose to love me over everything else. It was the best decision she made if you ask her because it brought us closer together. Now, I’m the only one who is here to make sure she takes her medicine, stays on her diet, and does everything else the doctors require her to do.
If I don’t take care of her, she’ll die here in her home alone and with no one knowing for however long. No one comes to see my Gram these days and she can’t get out of the house very often. Her body is shutting down one organ at a time because she’s almost ninety-five years old and has lived a good, long life. Honestly, I believe the only reason she’s still here is because she doesn’t want me to be alone. My Gram has always worried about me being alone and not coping with her death. There is no way I can tell her the truth that my world will implode when she finally succumbs to her health issues.
Now, I have a new reason to live for. My son or daughter. I have no clue how I’m going to tell my Gram about this. She’ll be so disappointed that I’m not only pregnant but because I have no clue who the father is. I’m sure I could find him considering there aren’t that many motorcycle clubs in the small town we live in. If it’s even the one he’s a member of. Like I said, we didn’t do much talking other than when we were in the bar. Hell, even that conversation wasn’t personal. There is no reason for me to know who he is or what club he’s affiliated with.
My son or daughter is going to be the center of my world and I can’t imagine not having this baby even though I’m scared shitless and have no clue what’s going to happen. It’s still not fully sunk in today because I’m just learning of the consequences going on for my decision to do something for myself once in my life. Since I was old enough to work, take on responsibility, and help my grandma more, I’ve been helping her and doing everything I can to make her life easier. I want my gram here with me as long as possible. Call me selfish but there is no reason for me to do anything other than make sure she’s comfortable and as healthy as she possibly can be.
Taking a deep breath, I try to collect myself and decide what I need to do. Obviously, I need to find a job. I was let go from my last one because I took too much time off due to my Gram being in the hospital. Whoever doesn’t support an employee when they need to take time off for their family member being in the hospital on their death bed. I guess it’s better to find out now what the company is like than to be with them for years before learning they’re not supportive and won’t stand by their employees. I’ve been focusing on my Gram and trying to get doctor’s appointments in and taken care of along with making sure all of her medicine is filling her pill tray for the month. It’s the easiest way for her to not get mixed up and take too many pills or forget to take them at all. I can make sure they’re taken each and every day.
Walking into my room, I hide the pregnancy test in the drawer of my nightstand. Not that my gram comes in my room; it’s more out of the way for myself than anything else. Right now, I won’t have to deal with it if I don’t see the test as a reminder. There is way too much else I have to do today before I can even think about sitting down to figure out what I’m going to do about my baby. Obviously, I’m going to keep him or her. I’ll raise my baby alone if I have to because there is no way in hell I’m giving it up or having an abortion. That’s not who I am and there is nothing I can do to change the way I feel about becoming a single mom. It’s not going to be easy at all especially when I have to take care of my gram too.
Making sure my gram won’t notice the tears staining my cheeks, I shove my hair behind my ears and head downstairs where my gram is sitting in one of her chairs in the living room. She doesn’t move around the house much anymore. Just enough to go down the stairs, to her chair, to the bathroom when she has to go, and then to bed in the early evening. I make all of her meals, get her medicine for her if she hasn’t already done it, and then clean the house. I’ve been doing extra cleaning and making sure the entire house is spic and span from top to bottom. It’s not as if I have to worry about taking time out to go to work these days. So, to help pass the time, I make sure the house is absolutely spotless the way my grandma used to keep it.
“Good morning Gram,” I greet her, stopping at her chair and leaning down to give her a kiss on her wrinkled cheek.
“Good morning sweetheart. Did you sleep okay?” she asks me the same thing each and every single day.
“I slept fine Gram,” I inform her, squirming behind her with the knowledge I’m keeping a secret from the one person who has always had my back. “Did you sleep okay?”
“I slept okay honey. It’s so sweet of you to worry about an old woman like me.”
“The best woman in the world,” I tell her, my voice filling with emotion even though this is the same conversation we have on a daily basis. “I’m gonna go start your breakfast. Have you taken your pills yet?”
“Not yet sweetheart. I just got down here.”
“I’ll get them and bring you a glass of juice. Then I’m going to head to the store to get our groceries for the next few weeks. Is there anything you need that’s not on the list?”
“No Trinity. You always take such good care of me.”
“You’ve taken care of me my entire life Gram. There is nothin I won’t do for you.”
Before she can see the tears threatening to escape, I head for the kitchen. Grabbing my Gram a glass of orange juice, I get her pills and take them both in to her. As normal, I stand there until she’s swallowed her pills before heading back to make her some scrambled eggs and toast. It’s harder for her to eat sausage or bacon like she used to. No matter how I cook it, she can’t seem to eat it, so I’ve stopped altogether. I’m not going to eat something she can’t have anymore. It’s not fair to her.
After cooking her food, and settling for a piece of toast for myself, I try to help my grandma into the kitchen table. I try every day for each meal to get her into the table where she used to eat every meal. Today as normal, she can’t make it out there. She’s just too unsteady to move from the living room to the kitchen table. I’ve tried to get her to use a walker, but she refuses. I’m worried about her breaking a hip or falling when I’m not here. It hasn’t happened yet, but there’s always a chance of something happening. I’ll fall apart if it does and there’s something I could have done to prevent it from happening.
Before leaving the house, I grab the mail from the box on the porch. Flipping through them, I notice one from my grams insurance company. Shoving the rest of the mail in my purse, I rip open the envelop because I need to know what’s going on when it comes to her health insurance. Reading through the letter, tears fill my eyes and roll down my face. This can’t be happening! My grandma’s insurance is cutting back on the amount they pay for her most important prescriptions. Instead of paying less than a hundred dollars for all of her medications together, two of her main ones are going up to us having to pay almost two hundred dollars per prescription. That’s now almost five hundred I’ll have to pay a month for the medicine she needs to keep her alive.
Getting in my car, I make sure the letter is in my purse and start the engine. Pulling out of the driveway, I head for the grocery store in a daze. There is so much on my mind, and I have no clue where I’m going to start to sort it all out. However, I don’t have time to sit and ponder what I’m going to do to make things right; to ensure my grandma has what she needs. Right now I have to get our groceries and head back home to take care of my gram before I begin cleaning. I can’t think of what needs to happen in order for me to make sure we get by. Other than getting a job to make sure we can afford everything.
After getting our food for the next few weeks, I pack the bags in the car before heading back home. Thankfully the store wasn’t packed since it’s still pretty early in the day. I was able to get in and out without too much trouble or running into anyone who I didn’t want to see. Mainly people from school. They’ve all moved on, gone to college, and I’m still here with nothing more than a high school education. We have nothing in common anymore and I’m sure they’re all laughing at me because they’ll believe I gave my life up to help my gram when she’s given up so much of her life for me. It’s not like my parents are still around to help take care of either one of us.
I’m a twenty-five-year-old woman with nothing to my name; no career, no relationship, and no education. I also wouldn’t change anything about my situation. I love taking care of my grandma and will do everything in my power to ensure she still lives the next few years of her life as comfortable and happy as possible. That’s all I give a shit about these days. Now, I’m going to have to add in my child and making sure I find work that pays enough for me to support all three of us with the added expenses and everything that comes with raising a baby.
Putting away the groceries after driving home in the same daze, I make sure my gram doesn’t need anything before sitting down with my laptop and the newspaper in front of me. Before I make lunch or start cleaning for the day, I need to start looking for a job. There has to be something out there I can do that’s not going to take away too much time from gram. Maybe I can find something overnight or later in the day because I need to be here during the day. And when she goes to bed because there’s meds she needs to take before going to sleep each night. The only time she doesn’t have to take anything is during the day. With her being awake, I don’t want her left alone to have something happen with her trying to move around. I’m not thrilled to be working at night while she sleeps in case something happens, but beggars can’t be choosers.
Looking at the help wanted section of the paper, there’s nothing I can do. Everyone hiring is looking for a college education or years of experience. I have none of that. As I go to toss the paper to the side, an ad catches my attention. It’s for auditions at a strip club called Legacies. Auditions are tomorrow morning, and I can make it work if I get up early and take care of my grandma before leaving the house to go to the auditions and then coming back home again. It’s not like it will take up a lot of time to head to the audition and get back here. She doesn’t have any appointments tomorrow either. This may be the one time I can get out to find a job to make enough money to support the three of us and ensure my grandma can have her medicine.
With a plan in mind, I leave the paper on the table and put my laptop away so I can get through everything I have to do the rest of the day. Cleaning is number one on my list of things to complete because there are always things that need to be done. Starting with the laundry, I make my way into the laundry room where there’s already two baskets of clothes I need to wash before drying, folding, and putting them away. Then I’ll need to start with the kitchen and living room. Vacuuming has to be done, but I have to wait until I know my gram isn’t sleeping or resting. I try not to disturb her.
My body is already exhausted, and I’ve barely begun. However, I know I can get everything done because I have no other choice in the matter. So, with a deep breath, I get to work and make sure everything is done and I still have her meals prepared for the day. By the time I’m done with the chores and cooking, I’m even more exhausted and ready to head to bed. there are still things to be done though. I push everything else to the back of my mind and go about my day.
