Made to Order by Brigham Vaughn

TWENTY-TWO

“I’m driving.” After the call, Donovan had plucked Tyler’s keys from his nerveless fingers and gently but firmly pushed him into the passenger seat of Tyler’s truck. And now, as they sped up Blue Star Highway toward I-196, Tyler’s heart was still lodged in his throat where it had been since he’d heard Andrea’s tear-filled voice.

Eddie. Accident. Car hit a tree. Drunk.The words echoed in Tyler’s head. He reached out blindly, seeking Donovan’s hand for reassurance. He switched hands, gripping the wheel with the left while he threaded their fingers together with the right.

“It’s going to be okay,” he said.

“Is it?” Tyler’s voice was hollow.

“Yes.”

“You sound so sure.”

“Then trust me.”

Tyler took a deep breath, about to tell him it wasn’t that easy, and he realized it kind of was. The firm, sure steadiness of Donovan’s voice made him believe it could be okay. Because he did trust that Donovan wouldn’t lie to him. That if Donovan had it in his power to fix it, he’d do it. But what could he do for Eddie?

“I can’t lose him, Donovan.”

“You won’t.” Donovan gripped Tyler’s fingers harder, and the little flash of pain sent a wave of calm over him. “Andrea told you he had some broken bones but was stable. It could have been a lot worse.”

“It could have.” Tyler’s voice caught. “God, he could have killed someone. Or himself.”

“Do you think …”

“I don’t know. I … I don’t know.” Had Eddie tried to kill himself? Or had he merely made bad choices and lost control? Made a mistake that could have cost him his life.

“You’ll be there for him no matter what. And I’ll be here for you.” Donovan’s tone was firm.

Tyler glanced over at Donovan. In the dim light from the dashboard, he could see the focused determination on Donovan’s face. He really would do whatever it took to help Tyler through this. It sent a wave of relief over him. He was more grateful to Donovan than ever.

Earlier, Tyler had been terrified that Donovan would end things and he was now doubly grateful he hadn’t. It was horrible to deal with in the first place but the thought of having to do this alone was daunting. With Donovan at his side, it all felt more manageable.

Tyler was terrified for his friend. But he wasn’t alone.

“I could ask my parents for money,” Donovan said after a few minutes of nothing but the humming the truck’s tires on the road. “I could get fifty thousand from them. They’d do it if I told them it was important.”

Tyler swallowed. “For Eddie’s rehab?”

“Yes. If you think he’d accept it. Or, hell, if you want to just give it to him and don’t tell him where you got it, I’d be fine with that.”

“That’s really kind of you,” Tyler said thickly. “And God, you have no idea how much I appreciate that. It means so much to me.”

“But …”

“It’s not my pride,” Tyler assured him. “Or even that Eddie would put up a fuss. I’m just not sure he’s going to need it.” His voice caught. “He may have to go to something court-ordered.”

“True.” Donovan glanced over at him briefly. “I could ask my parents if they’d take his case if he needs a good lawyer. That’s also an option.”

“That’s really generous too. Maybe? We can talk about that later.”

“Sure. Just know the offer stands. Either of them.”

Tyler licked his lips. “Thank you. Honestly, I think even if the court doesn’t order it, this may be the escalation the VA needs to get him bumped up the waiting list. They do work faster if they think you’re a danger to yourself or others …”

“Do you think Eddie did it for that reason?”

“God.” Tyler sighed and leaned his head against the headrest, watching the lights of the cars blur by in a wash of white and red, distorted by the wetness in his eyes. “Maybe. I don’t know.”

“I shouldn’t speculate.”

“No, it’s okay.” Tyler squeezed his fingers reassuringly. “I know you’re just trying to help.”

“I am.”

“You want what’s best for me.”

“Yes, I do.” Donovan squeezed again.

“Like today wasn’t exhausting enough already,” Tyler said with a sigh.

“I know. You can take a nap if you want. I have the map to the hospital up on my phone.”

“I don’t think I could sleep now.”

“Okay.”

But Tyler closed his eyes anyway and tried to breathe deeply, hoping it would make the fear and worry go away.

* * *

“We’re here, sweetheart.” A brush of lips on his forehead pulled him from sleep. He didn’t have to open his eyes to know it was Donovan. He sat up, the mental fog clearing immediately as he remembered what had happened.

“Eddie.” Tyler glanced around to see they were in a large parking ramp. Signs pointed to the emergency room. “Fuck.”

“Yeah.” Donovan rested a hand on his thigh and squeezed.

Tyler glanced at the clock, cracking his neck to relieve the stiffness of sleeping in a vehicle with his neck at a weird angle. His time in the military had made him really fucking good at passing out the second his eyes closed and being alert the moment they popped open.

Funny that he’d felt comfortable enough to close his eyes at all. Usually in a stressful situation, he was on high alert—also part of the legacy of his service—but he’d been able to relax tonight. It must have been because of Donovan.

Tyler glanced over at him and felt something in his head settle into place as everything came together. That final missing puzzle piece that somehow unlocked the entire picture. He’d spent years searching for something. Aching to find the sense of purpose in his life that had been missing since he left the Army.

Wanting that sense of belonging. Of structure. Of relief at being a part of something larger, of having someone he trusted and respected to answer to.

Tyler smiled with a sudden certainty that what he’d been searching for was right in front of him. His fears that he wasn’t up for the task of being Donovan’s submissive faded away as the truth settled over him.

He already knew how to do this.

For all practical purposes, Donovan was Tyler’s commanding officer.

He’d had a difficult time wrapping his head around the idea of having a Dom, but it wasn’t such a stretch at all. Tyler had spent eight years of his life training for this relationship. What on earth was he so afraid of?

“Thank you, Sir,” Tyler said aloud as a sudden peace and stillness settled over him.

“For what?” Donovan blinked at him. “And did I just hear you right?”

“Thank you for taking care of me. For getting me here in one piece.”

A large part of Tyler was dying to rush out of the truck, bolt through the doors of the ER, and beg someone to tell him how Eddie was doing. But something in his gut told him that he needed a moment with Donovan first. That taking that time would do more good for him than anything else. He needed to be calm for Eddie and Andrea and to do that he had to be sure that things were settled with Donovan first. He could be the guy he’d always been before. The one who was there for his friends. But now he had someone to lean on too.

“I’ll always look out for you,” Donovan said, smiling softly. “You know that.”

“I do,” Tyler said, and he did. He knew it deep down in an unquestionable way. “And yes, you heard me right. I just had a realization.”

“What’s that?”

Tyler leaned over, grabbed the front of Donovan’s jacket, and dragged him closer, almost giddy with the rightness of the moment. “I just need to think of this thing between us like my time in the Army.”

Donovan’s look was skeptical. “How’s that?”

“You’re my commanding officer,” Tyler said, his tone sure and steady.

“You always manhandle your superiors this way?”

Tyler chuckled. “There was a fair amount of roughhousing on base, yeah. But not like we do. I’m serious though.”

“Okay. Explain it to me.” Donovan wrapped a hand around the back of his neck.

“The Army teaches you how to take orders. They tear you down and build you up, so you have as singular of a focus as possible: do what it takes to protect your nation and your fellow soldier.”

Donovan nodded.

“This isn’t so different. It’s just on a different scale. I do what you tell me to because I believe you have the best knowledge and training to complete the mission.”

Donovan tilted his head, his expression curious but open. “And what’s our mission?”

“I guess we still have to figure that out,” Tyler said, licking his lips. “But I think it involves me getting what I need and you getting what you need. And being happy together while we do it.”

A little smile played at the corners of Donovan’s mouth. “Sounds like a pretty important mission to me.”

“The most important,” Tyler said, surprised by the sudden lump in his throat.

“We still need to talk about expectations,” Donovan said and there was a note of warning in his voice. “How much of our daily lives will be spent in this dynamic. What being submissive means to both of us.”

“I know.” Tyler played with the hair at the base of Donovan’s skull. “I just wanted you to know that something finally clicked for me. It makes sense in my head now. All I have to do is trust you and do what you want. Like any good soldier, if I see something happening that I know is wrong, I need to speak up, but otherwise, I have to trust that you know what’s best for me. That your orders are there for a reason. I can stop fighting it because it makes sense now.”

“Huh. I guess that was a hell of a nap you just took.” Donovan’s tone was dry now but there was a warm light in his eyes that Tyler could see even in the ghastly yellow glare of the parking ramp.

“I guess so. I just wanted to let you know before we do anything else.”

“I’m glad you did.” Donovan cupped his cheek. “And you’re right. I will look out for you. Always. Without question.”

Tyler swallowed hard. “Thank you, Sir.”

“You don’t know how it feels to hear you say that to me.” The husky note in Donovan’s voice sent heat through Tyler’s whole body.

“It feels pretty good to say it. I get it now. Why you wanted this.” He tugged Donovan closer. “Kiss me before we go in and check on Eddie?”

“With pleasure.”

Tyler closed his eyes and slid a hand up Donovan’s arms as their lips met. The soft prickle of Donovan’s beard was familiar and right. His skin was warm and his tongue even warmer as it teased between Tyler’s lips in a heated, claiming kiss that Tyler felt down to his toes.

And while it made blood rush to his cock, it also filled him with a sense of peace and rightness he hadn’t felt in well … ever.

“God, I love you, Tyler,” Donovan whispered as he sat back.

Tyler let his eyes open, staring at Donovan with a feeling of punch-drunk happiness that he realized was real, deep, committed love. He’d never felt anything even close to it before. “I love you too.”

But the worry over Eddie and Andrea—who was probably all alone and worried sick right now—tugged at him, reminding him he was needed elsewhere.

“We better get in there,” he added with a reluctant little sigh as he drew back.

“Yes.” Donovan opened the driver’s side door, flooding the cab of the truck with light.

Tyler got out with a groan. It felt good to stretch his legs as they walked toward the entrance to the ER, even as anxiety over Eddie built within him again. His knuckles brushed Donovan’s and he reached for his hand out of instinct.

Donovan paused, turning to look him in the eye. “Are you sure you want to do this? We don’t have to. Not tonight.”

“What if I need it?” Tyler asked. He meant it. Fears about his friend were crowding in again and his heart hammered. He needed Donovan’s touch to anchor him.

“Then I’m behind you one hundred percent.”

“Thank you.” Tyler turned and rested his forehead against Donovan’s shoulder for a moment. “Thank you, Sir.”

Donovan pressed a kiss to the top of his head, squeezed his hand, and together, they walked into the ER.

It took time to hunt down Andrea and when Tyler found her, she was pacing the waiting area.

“Ty!” When she spotted him, her voice rose above of the murmur of hushed and anxious voices and she ran into his arms, burying her head against his chest. “Oh, thank God. I’m glad you’re here.”

“I’m sorry it took so long.” He kissed the top of her head. “How’s he doing?”

She wiped her eyes. “He’s in surgery now.”

Tyler froze. “I thought it wasn’t that bad … just some broken bones or whatever.”

“He took a turn for the worse. They think his spleen ruptured.”

“Fuck. That’s serious, right?”

“It depends on how soon they catch it. They said he can live without one.”

“That’s good.” He gently stroked a hand up and down her back. “The kids are with your parents?”

“Yeah.” She let out a heavy sigh and pulled away, hugging herself. “I told them their dad had been hurt but that he was going to be okay. That has to be true. I can’t lose him, Ty.”

“You won’t,” he promised her, though it wasn’t something he had any control over. He swallowed hard, his throat thick with emotion. “He’ll pull through this, I promise.”

“Is it selfish of me to think that maybe he’ll finally be able to get help now?”

“No.” Tyler touched her arm, guiding her back to one of the chairs in the waiting area. “I had the same thought.”

“Do you think he did it on purpose?”

Tyler sighed and draped an arm over her shoulder. “I don’t know. He might have.”

“But was he trying to hurt himself or get help?”

“I think maybe they’re the same thing.”

“Yeah, maybe.” She wiped her eyes again. “I just … I feel so helpless.”

“I know. I do too.” Tyler reached for Donovan’s hand again and he squeezed tightly in response.

Andrea’s glance skipped over their joined hands but her expression didn’t change. “Huh. I wondered who you meant when you said, ‘We’ll be there.’”

Tyler gave her a small smile. “Uh, this isn’t how I wanted to do it but … I’d like you to meet my boyfriend, Donovan.”

“We’ve met. At the tavern, remember?”

“Oh, that’s right. Well, we weren’t dating then.”

“Welcome to the family, Donovan,” she said with a tired smile. “Be glad you met Ty after he was out of the service. It’s hell on a relationship.”

“I am,” Donovan said. “But we’d have made it work.”

“I’m glad Ty has someone. It’s so hard to go through this alone.” Tears spilled down Andrea’s cheeks. “God, I did it for so many years when Eddie was overseas, but this …”

Tyler pulled her in to rest her head on his shoulder. “Hey, you’re not alone. I’m here for you. Donovan is too. You’ve got your parents. The kids.”

“I just don’t want to tell them their dad made it home from Iraq and Afghanistan to die from suicide.” Her voice broke.

“Hey, no,” Tyler said, squeezing her closer. “We’re not going there. We don’t know why he crashed. Maybe the roads were slick or there was a deer. We shouldn’t assume anything. I mean, it’s bad that he was drinking, but we shouldn’t assume he did this intentionally. And he isn’t dying. The surgeons will fix him up and we’ll get him the help he needs,” he said firmly. “If the VA won’t do it or whatever, there’s an option for the private facility.”

Andrea let out an exhausted sigh and leaned a head on his shoulder. “You know we don’t have that kind of money.”

“I can get it for you,” Tyler said firmly.

“I can’t let you—”

“We’re not there yet. But I want you to know it’s an option if we need to go that route,” he said. “I figured out a way.”

He couldn’t look at Donovan. Could barely believe he was even considering begging Donovan to ask his parents for money like that, but Tyler would swallow every last bit of pride he'd ever had if it meant helping Eddie. And based on what Donovan had said about his family, this was no small gesture of how much he cared for Ty.

“God, I love you, Ty,” Andrea said with a little sigh.

“I love you too.” He kissed her head again. “Can you nap?”

“Not a chance.”

“Would you like anything to eat or drink?” Donovan said, leaning over Tyler with a concerned frown in Andrea’s direction. “I’m sure anything from the cafeteria won’t be that great, but I’d be happy to grab you anything you’d like.”

“Thank you.” She sat up and fished a tissue out of her purse to dab at her eyes. “A water, maybe? That’s all I can stomach right now. I’m so tired and worried I feel like I might throw up.”

“Sure. Tyler?”

“Coffee, please.”

“Okay.” Donovan stood but Tyler didn’t let go of his hand. He raised an eyebrow at Tyler who tugged him in.

After a brief brush of their lips, Tyler let Donovan leave the waiting area. After he’d disappeared through the door, he turned to Andrea, who stared at him with a speculative expression.

She nudged him with her elbow. “So that’s new, huh?”

“Ish. Started seeing each other this past summer.”

“I have to admit, I didn’t expect it.”

“The being-with-a-guy thing?”

“Yeah.” She laid a hand on his arm. “I’m happy for you. Just surprised is all.”

“I know. I wasn’t ready to talk about it before now. Honestly, I surprised myself.”

“I get it. Does Eddie know?”

“Yeah, I asked him to keep it quiet until I was sure about stuff. I hope you—”

“I understand,” she said. “I’ve always known there were secrets you guys had. It’s why I never asked if he was faithful while he was over there.”

“He was,” Tyler said firmly. “I swear.”

“You weren’t there for all of it.”

“I wish I had been. Maybe if I had, he wouldn’t …” But Eddie would have seen and done the same things. It just felt like if Tyler had been there, it would have been different. “He could have talked more to me about it at least,” he said bleakly.

“Hayes was there, but Eddie won’t talk to him about it either. Believe me, he’s tried.”

“I know.”

“Or maybe you would have ended up here too.” Tyler knew she meant more than in a hospital waiting room.

“God, maybe.” He sighed. “I hate this.”

“Me too.” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “Tell me something good, Ty.”

“Something good, huh?” Tyler thought back. They’d played this game a lot when Eddie was deployed and Ty was home. He’d texted Andrea regularly and she’d asked him for good news. Sometimes it was little things, like his favorite team winning a game. Other times it was about work, like when he’d started at the tavern and when he’d been promoted. When he bought his house. But there was only one big piece of good news he could think of now.

“I’m in love with Donovan.”

She smiled at him and though it was exhausted and fear-tinged, it was genuine. “I had already worked that out.” She sobered. “Word of warning, Gordo should be here shortly, and Jackson and Hayes are on their way up from Indiana. So, if you aren’t ready for that conversation …”

“I’m ready,” he said firmly. “It’s time.”

* * *

“Sleeping on the job, private?”

Tyler was on his feet before his eyes were fully open, snapping to attention. His shoulders sagged and he lightly punched Gordo in the chest. “Fuck you. I was a staff sergeant, you asshole.”

“Is that any way to greet your best friend?”

Tyler dragged him in for a hug, shaking a head at his ridiculousness. “You’re not my best friend, you fucker. That’s Eddie.”

Gordo sobered; his narrow face filled with worry. “How’s he doing?”

“I don’t know. I apparently fell asleep.” With his head on Donovan’s shoulder. He glanced back at him to see Donovan deep in conversation with Andrea. She sipped the ginger ale Donovan had brought her in addition to the water. He’d said it would help settle her stomach. It appeared he’d been right because she’d also been nibbling on a sandwich.

Gordo gave Tyler a speculative look. “Yeah. I saw that. Interesting choice of pillow. I wouldn’t think twice cause you used to fall asleep on me all the damn time except he doesn’t exactly look ex-military.” He narrowed his eyes.

“He’s not,” Tyler admitted, his pulse beating double-time. “He’s my boyfriend.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Gordo said with a groan. “It’s a butt-fucking epidemic around here.”

Donovan looked up, a frown creasing his forehead. He was on alert, ready to go into protective mode. He might not have been a soldier, but there was more of that energy to him than Tyler had ever realized. He shook his head softly, trying to reassure Donovan that he was fine. He and Gordo would be fine. He sounded like an asshole sometimes, but his caustic words weren’t said with malice. If he’d actually been upset, he would have ignored Tyler. Being an asshole meant he was fine with it.

Donovan subsided.

“Protective, that one,” Gordo said with a raised eyebrow. Apparently, he’d noticed too.

“He is,” Tyler said.

“Good. You need that.” Gordo clapped him on the shoulder. “You do know I don’t give a shit, right?”

“I wasn’t sure,” Tyler said with a grimace. “I know things were weird back when Jackson and Hayes got together.”

“Yeah, that was weird as fuck. I don’t know, it just … it felt so fucking strange then. Like they had this secret life none of us knew about, you know? I was pissed because I never saw it coming. And I felt like they’d lied to me. It wasn’t about them being into dudes. It was about the trust.”

“I know.”

“At least I knew Frenchie used to suck you off, so it’s not like this was totally out of the blue.”

“Oh my God.” Tyler looked up at the ceiling. “That was like … twice.”

“Honestly, I thought at the time that it was desperation. But maybe not so much.”

“I really don’t know anymore.” Tyler went to tug on his ball cap and realized he wasn’t wearing it. He ran a hand over his head instead. “I … it didn’t mean anything then. I mean, I loved Frenchie but not that way. I honestly thought it was desperation too. But this guy … Donovan … he’s something else, man.”

“Good.” Gordo squeezed his shoulder. “Good. I’m glad. You need someone to look after you.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Tyler sputtered, but the sight of two more familiar faces coming in the door stopped any argument he was about to start with Gordo. They greeted Andrea first, giving her warm hugs and checking to see if there was anything she needed. After she took a seat next to Donovan again, they gave him curious looks as they walked over to Tyler and Gordo.

“Bout time you fuckers showed up,” Tyler teased.

“First of all, fuck you,” Jackson said. He clasped Tyler’s hand and pulled him in for a hard, back-pounding hug. “And second, we made it here in half an hour less than the GPS estimated.”

Tyler snorted. “You always did have a lead foot.”

“Hey, I kept our Bradley out of harm’s way, didn’t I?”

“You did, you did.” Jackson was a damn good driver, even when he was wrestling a twenty-seven-ton tank into submission. He’d been terrifying in a Humvee.

Hayes moved a little slower than his husband, thanks to a prosthetic leg. Of all of them, he was the only one who had stayed in the service as long as Eddie had. He’d been injured in the same engagement that had cost Frenchie his life.

But he had weathered it differently, going grim and distant for a while before slowly bouncing back with the same enthusiasm that had always been a part of who he was. He was in a much better place than he’d been just a year before, and Tyler was damn grateful. He gave Hayes a hug, glad to see him.

After their greetings, Jackson slipped a hand around Hayes’ back and rubbed it.

“Just so you know, Hewitt’s gone over to the queer side too.” Gordo jerked a thumb toward Donovan. “He’s shacked up with a dude now.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Tyler said with a laugh. “I don’t even know where to start with you. We’re not living together”—yet, Tyler’s brain helpfully added—“and how about letting a guy come out when he’s ready, maybe?”

Gordo shrugged. “You were drooling on his shoulder in plain sight when I walked in. What do you want? Us to throw you a coming-out party?”

“I’d like you to not be an asshole, but I guess that’s too much to ask for,” Tyler said with a roll of his eyes.

Jackson nodded. “Seriously. He’s a lost cause.”

“Hey, Donovan?” Tyler called softly. Donovan looked up from his phone. “Want to meet the guys?”

“Of course.” He rose to his feet and joined them.

Tyler did the introductions, and they all shook Donovan’s hand.

“So, a chef, huh?” Hayes said with a speculative look. “Good. Maybe you can teach this useless piece of crap how to boil water without burning it.” He nodded at Tyler.

“Jesus. With friends like these …” Tyler shook his head with a rueful smile.

Donovan smirked. “Oh, we’ve been working on his cooking skills for a while.”

Tyler’s skin heated as he thought about their last cooking scene. They hadn’t done any recently, but Jesus, it had been hot.

“Chef or not”—Jackson looked Donovan up and down—“you better be good to Hewitt. We give him a lot of shit but he’s ours to fuck with. Anyone else hurts him, they’re a dead man. You understand?”

Donovan nodded gravely. “I understand.”

Tyler wanted to sink into the floor. “You’re all an embarrassment. I don’t know why I’m still friends with you.”

“Cause no one else would have you,” Jackson said.

Gordo put him in a headlock and gave him a noogie. “Besides. You love it.”

Tyler shoved him away. Donovan caught his eyes and grinned, clearly amused by their interactions.

They bantered for a while longer until Hayes cleared his throat.

“Hey, guys?” he said with a little grimace. “Can we take a seat? It’s been a long day and my stump is starting to bug me.”

“Yeah, of course.” Tyler gestured for them to go ahead.

The mood quieted after that. They spoke quietly, catching up a little as they waited for news. Every time Tyler glanced at the clock, the hands seemed to move slower and slower.

Laughing and joking around with the guys had relieved some of the tension, but now, it began to creep in again.

What if something had gone wrong in surgery?

What if they were losing Eddie?