Shadowed (Team Zero #4) by Rina Kent

“Your dad was from the military, right?”

I nod.

“Did he have PTSD?” he asks.

“I don’t think so.”

“Did he duck or flinch at loud noises or bangs?”

“No.” I rake my mind. “He actually loved fireworks and took me a few times.”

“That means he didn’t have PTSD.”

My brows furrow. “What does PTSD have to do with anything?”

“If he had PTSD, it’d make sense if he didn’t want to use a gun and went with gas, but since he didn’t, things don’t add up.”

“What do you mean?”

“Asphyxiation by gas isn’t a suicide method that fits a captain in the army. He’s more familiar with weapons than something as domestic as gas. If he really wanted a family suicide, he would’ve used the surest way to do it. Logically, he would’ve shot you and your mother then himself, so there’d be zero per cent failure rate.”

“But…” My throat dries no matter how much I swallow. “I remember that night.”

“Do you?”

“I know what I remember.” My voice is shaky, because the truth is, I’m not so sure anymore, especially after the recent nightmares. That night has always been blurry.

Shadow’s voice is cool. “Do you clearly remember him plotting to kill you?”

“He said something about death and...”

“And?”

“And…”

“There. You don’t remember. I think you’re filling the gaps with false or altered memories.”

I gulp, not even wanting to consider the idea. “Since when did you become a shrink?”

“I’m not.” He squeezes my hand in his. “But I think you’re closing a door that you have to open, Zoe.”

“I-I know what I remember, okay? I’m not crazy!”

Crazy.

She’s crazy…

Did you see what she did to her —

I shut out those memories as soon as they came.

Shadow stops the car and faces me. “Don’t you want to know the truth?”

I shake my head frantically. “I already know the truth.”

He stops the car and pulls me into him. His embrace is warm and soothing, and it causes tears to form in my eyes.

“I’m here for you. Whatever it is, I’ll never leave you.”

I sob in his chest as an onslaught of memories hits me.

“I’ll never leave you, petal.”

“Really, Daddy?”

“You have my word.”

Then, he was gone.





Chapter Twenty-Six





For more than two weeks, Shadow never left my side.

At first, it was surreal, and I tried to fight the pull, but it’s like swimming in a riptide. Every time I’m happy about being with him, I remind myself that this can’t be long term.

Then he touches me and I’m a goner. It’s almost a constant ache now. In the beginning, I thought I was the one keeping up with his insatiable sexual stamina, but then, I realised how much I also couldn’t keep my hands off him.

One day, he had to go to town alone to meet with Lachlan about business. I almost went out of my mind until he returned in the afternoon. I didn’t even let him go inside. I rode him on the porch until we both collapsed.

I crave him with terrifying intensity. Sometimes, we wrestle until I finally give in and he fucks me rough and fast. It’s the best sex we have. Other times, I feel like he’s holding back so he wouldn’t hurt me.

The sex has been getting more intense and uncontrollable with each day. I had to ask my OB-GYN if all this can be dangerous for the baby. She said no. However, I’m suffering from mild iron deficiency, so she prescribed me vitamins.

When Shadow asked why I’m taking the pills, I told him it’s because of a vitamin D deficiency. He studied all about it and took me on long walks whenever the sun was out.

I’m not naive to think that he won’t connect the dots about my pregnancy soon. Sometimes, I catch him watching me intently when he thinks I’m not looking.

All that I’m counting on is that it wouldn’t come to his mind that I’ve been pregnant for months. It’s true that we don’t use condoms, but that’s been going on for weeks, not months. Hopefully, that’ll give me more time.

Deep down, I know I’m only delaying making a decision to enjoy the rare peace we currently have. The past weeks have been like a hot, thrilling, honeymoon.

Shadow learnt the village and the fields better than me and he whisks me on an adventure every day. Then he fucks my brains out two or three times a day as if he can’t get enough of me.

When I’m too sore, he runs me a hot bath and massages me from head to toe until my muscles turn into puddles. When I’m plagued by my nightmares, he holds me close until I fall back asleep.

The caring side of him is as addictive as his dark, almost frightening side. I can’t help feeling spoilt by how much he takes care of me. He even cooks the best lasagne I’ve ever had. I was flabbergasted when I learnt it’s the first time he made it. I only followed a recipe on the internet, was his reply. Since then, I’ve been making him follow as many recipes as possible.

He must have some hidden cooking talent because I sure as shit don’t cook mouth-watering dishes by following internet recipes.