Shadowed (Team Zero #4) by Rina Kent

We never talked about returning to London. I hear him speaking on the phone with Ghost or Lachlan, but he shoots them down every time. Liam has been pestering me, too, but a selfish part of me wants to delay this getaway even for a day longer.

My heart grieves at the thought of putting an end to all this bliss and going back to the real world.

Can’t we remain like this forever?

My fingers snake to where the necklace I saw at Nonna’s surrounds my collarbone. Shadow gave it to me last week and I’ve been catching myself staring at it in the mirror every chance I got. I tried telling him that it’s too fancy for every day. He said ‘nothing is too fancy for you’. I caved into wearing it when he threatened to throw it away. If he thinks I don’t like it, he’s crazy enough to toss such a beautiful necklace that means so much to his past. Maybe one day I can find its owner.

“What are you thinking about?” Shadow asks in a husky voice as his fingers draw lazy circles in my hair. I almost purr like a kitten at the relaxing sensation.

We just finished another round of rough sex and we’re lazing around on the sofa in the lounge area with me lying on top of his sleek chest.

“Did I hurt you?” His tone is careful.

“What? No.” I flex my palm on the hard ridges of his chest. “I came twice in case you haven’t noticed.”

He makes a sound that I can’t place as either affirmation or contemplation.

“Why? Have you hurt other women before?” I try to sound light when I’m seething with stabbing jealousy. The thought of any other woman having him brings nausea to my mouth.

“No. I controlled myself before, but it’s impossible when I’m with you.”

“Why…” I swallow the lump in my throat. “Why is that?”

His fingers thread into my hair and he holds me there. “I want to consume you and engrave myself under your skin so deep, you won’t be able to get me out unless one of us dies.”

The previously-lazy atmosphere now ripples with tension. His words should send me running for the hills, but they don’t. I figured a long time ago that Shadow is obsessed with me. Whether that’s healthy or not isn’t the problem. The problem is that I’m becoming as equally obsessed with him.

“But I don’t want to hurt you.” He goes back to stroking my hair. “So if I go too far, stop me.”

“You don’t have to worry about going too far.” I bite my lower lip, feeling the heat creep to my cheeks. “I like it rough.”

I can’t believe I admitted to that. After years of being shamed by Nick’s words, I feel like I’m sharing something taboo. What if Shadow thinks I’m sick? What if —

“I like it rough, too.” There’s amusement in Shadow’s voice.

I stare up at him and he’s grinning wide with a mischievous glint. It disappears and his brows furrow. “What’s wrong?”

It’s then I realise I’m on the verge of crying because he didn’t shame me. Freaking hormones.

“Zoe?”

“It’s… nothing.”

“It’s obviously something.” He sits up with me still atop of him so now I’m sitting on his lap. “What is it?”

It’s pointless to hide it from him. For one, he won’t give up until he gets what he wants — he’s frighteningly persistent. For two, I want to finally confide in someone about this.

I wipe my eyes and tell him all about Nick. How he thought I’m sick and I should need therapy. How much I avoided relationships because a part of me was afraid of the commitment.

When I’m done, I expect Shadow to be angry like he usually is whenever I mention other men. Instead, he appears more contemplative than anything.

“You weren’t compatible,” he finally says.

“I figured I’m not normal.”

He clutches my chin and tilts my head back so I’m staring into his metallic gaze. “It’s not that you aren’t normal. It’s that you and that bastard weren’t compatible. Normal is what you define for yourself, beautiful. Fuck anyone who says you’re abnormal for not fitting societal standards.”

That’s possibly the nicest thing anyone has ever told me. How is he able to erase years of self-doubt with such assuring words?

I fight back the tears that keep wanting to spring free. I want to kiss him in gratefulness, but he beats me to it by claiming my lips in a long, head-turning kiss.

When we break apart for air, he smiles. “Not everyone is into rainbows and unicorns. Sometimes love can be harsh.”

“Are you saying you love me or something?” I laugh, but it dies out when I make out the serious lines on his face.

Wait. He’s joking, right?

“Of course I love you.”

“W-what?” I all but yell.

He clutches my hand in his and places it on his heart. “Why do you think I’ve been searching for you all this time? Why am I giving the world a figurative middle finger to be with you?”

“But —”

“I love you so fucking much, beautiful.”

“Shadow…” I don’t know what to say — or what to think, for that matter.

He places a finger on my lips and shakes his head. “One day I’ll make you fall for me so hard, you won’t hesitate before saying the words.”