Dirty Toe Drag by Toni Aleo

Chapter Eighteen

Stella

“I’ve never been here,”I say as I look around the gorgeous restaurant Wes has brought me to called Sambuca. We’ve already ordered appetizers, and both of us have water. “Have you been here?”

Wes leans forward, adjusting his chair as he shakes his head. “Nope. Boon actually told me I needed to come here. It’s his and Posey’s spot. They live right up the road.”

“Yeah,” I say since I know where they live, but then I’m distracted by the restaurant and the super-cool ambiance. It has a club feel, but it’s romantic. Dark walls, big, round cushioned booths, and sleek tables. I like it. A lot. When they set down our Buca Beignets, we dig in, and I’m in heaven. “Oh my goodness, these are so good.”

Wes’s lip quirks at the side. “I don’t know what’s better, the food or the view.”

I purse my lips at him, and he grins before popping another biscuit full of cheese and jalapeño into his mouth. He’s right, though; it is hard to pick between the food and the view. His face is looking better. Instead of black and blue, it’s now green and yellow with no swelling. His nose is only a little crooked, but I like his look. It adds character. “Your face is healing nicely.”

“I know, right? I was surprised.”

I snort. “What does that mean?”

“I was convinced I was going to rock the Quasimodo look for much longer.”

I giggle loudly. “Not anywhere near the level of Quasimodo.”

“Whatever. Like your mom said, I’m surprised I pulled you.”

“You pulled me?”

“Yes, I was in your DMs.”

“And I was in yours. But I’m the one who invited you out, so I pulled you.”

“Oh wow, okay. That’s how you want to play this. You’re taking credit for this?” he asks, gesturing his hand between us.

“Always,” I say simply, grinning at him.

“Rude. I was constantly hitting on you.”

“Yes, and I decided to pull you in and make you mine,” I say sweetly.

“Wow. Now who’s putting labels and making claims over whom?”

“You love it,” I say with a wink, and I love this playfulness between us. He holds out a beignet to me, and I lean forward, taking a bite. He tries to take it back, but I take the whole thing, laughing at the shocked look on his face.

“You are mean. That was the last one, and I’m a growing boy.”

I laugh even harder. “You’re done growing!”

His eyes are full of such friskiness, and his smile is unstoppable. “Baby girl, you have no clue how much I can grow.”

Oh Jesus.

As he takes a long pull of his water, his eyes are on me, and I feel them absorbing each inch of me. There is a lot of skin to take in, and I can tell he appreciates every bit. “You’re blowing me away tonight, Stella.”

I lean on my hand, my eyes hooded. “That was the plan.”

“I don’t doubt it. You don’t hold back with me.”

“I don’t, and I won’t.”

“Good,” he says, the side of his mouth hooking up. When the waiter comes back to our table, he takes our dinner order and leaves promptly. “What did you do today? Any cool cupcakes being made by the stellar Stella?”

“You like rhyming my name, don’t you?”

He grins. “I do. I actually work hard to come up with different ones. I have an app on my phone.”

The giggle bubbles out of me, even when I try not to let it. “You’re so silly,” I announce, and he winks, his whole face taking part in the motion. Oh, if I were wearing panties, they’d be on fire. “I made a strawberry-filled cupcake with buttercream frosting and then some Nutella ones, along with chocolate chip cookie dough ones.”

“Are there any left?”

“There are a few in the cooler.”

“So, we’ll go there after this?”

I grin. “I do have a key.”

“Yup. We’re getting dessert.”

Why am I making that way more sexual in my head than I think he means it? Probably because I want him so badly. Time to cool my jets. “I’m down for that.”

“As long as I have you home by nine.”

I roll my eyes. “I don’t have a curfew.”

“Oh, I don’t care. You’ll be home by nine.”

“Stop! All I gotta do is text if I’m coming home or not, and my mom is cool.”

He eyes me. “Fine, but I can’t be out all night. I’ve got an early morning and a game tomorrow.”

“I knew that.”

“You should come watch me play.”

“Maybe,” I say. “I did trade my shift tonight to be here.”

“I didn’t know you did that.”

“I wanted to see you.” We share a heated look before I bite my lip. “I feel like it’s the elephant in the room, but do you want to talk about why your day was bad?”

Immediately, I regret asking. His eyes lose their light, and his mouth turns down as he shakes his head in annoyance. “Therapy was an absolute shitshow. The new therapist was such a bitch and doubted me at every turn. Noelle, my longtime therapist, was trying to defend me and really fight for me, but that lady was just awful and didn’t believe any of my growth. Even said I shouldn’t be in a relationship.”

“What? Why?”

He pauses then. “This isn’t a place I can talk about that, but she made it seem like I only want sexual things from you. And I even told them I only kissed you for the first time yesterday, two dates in.”

“Yeah, we’re going slow.”

“Exactly, and when I was able to give her three things about you that turn me on that have nothing to do with sex, she still doubted me. I hate being doubted. I hate that I know I’m recovering and growing, and she comes in, not knowing shit about me, and decides the work Noelle and I have done is nothing.”

I reach out, threading our fingers together and cupping my other hand over ours. “I’m sorry. That’s very unfair.” I mean it; it’s bullshit. But damn it, I want to know why this chick feels this way. It kind of worries me. But I do trust him. I believe what he is telling me.

“I’m not some sex addict or anything,” he supplies—I guess due to the look on my face. “I did use sex to get over my feelings before, but I haven’t been with anyone for almost seven months now.”

“Oh,” I say, surprised by that. “I didn’t know that either.”

He shrugs. “It’s not like I have a shirt telling everyone these things. I only tell important people.”

I swallow as I hold his gaze. “Don’t let that lady into your mind at all. She doesn’t know you, and she snap-judged you. That’s unfair, and you are amazing, Wes. I promise. I wouldn’t be spending my time with you, getting all gorgeous for you, if I didn’t believe that.”

He squeezes my hand. “Thanks. She actually got fired.”

“I figured. Elli don’t play. She’s a mama bear.”

“She is,” he laughs, rubbing his thumb along mine. When his phone lights up, we both look down to see it’s Aiden. I press my lips together. Shit, did my parents tell him? Wes looks over at me just as I meet his gaze, and I guess he’s thinking the same thing I am. “Do you think your parents told him?”

“I don’t think they would,” I say with a shrug.

Still holding my hand, he picks up the phone with the other and answers. “Hey, man. What’s up? Oh. Is she okay? Oh hell. Okay. No, dude. Don’t worry about it. I’ll catch you another day. Keep me in the loop.”

I’m trying to pay attention, but then my phone sounds with a text from my mom.

Mom: Aiden and Shelli had their ultrasound today, and there might be a birth defect. They have to go back tomorrow to see a specialist, so keep them in your thoughts and maybe send Aiden a text.

Me: Oh my goodness. Will do.

Mom: Love you.

Me: Love you.

I go to Aiden’s text thread and send him a quick message that I love him and I’m sure the baby is fine.

He doesn’t text me back, but then Wes gets off the phone, giving me a worried look. I nod. “My mom texted me.”

“That sucks. I hope the baby is okay.”

“Me too, or at least that it’s a defect that is treatable or adaptable.”

“Absolutely,” he says, shaking his head. “But yeah, he was canceling our lunch tomorrow.”

“Oh, okay.”

“So, we might not be able to go to the gender reveal as boyfriend and girlfriend.”

I shrug. “I mean, we can, just without Aiden knowing.”

He grimaces. “I really hate hiding it from him. I feel like it’s only making it worse.”

“Yeah. I would suggest we FaceTime him, but he’s going through a lot.”

“True. Though, that way could be safer.”

“It could.”

We share a smile, and he brings my hands up to his lips. “Maybe I’m reading into this, but are you agreeing to be my girlfriend, stupendous Stella?”

I snort with laughter, my whole body shaking. “I don’t know now with all these dorky nicknames.”

He laughs against my hands, kissing me between his chuckles. “You love it.”

I do. “Maybe.”

“Admit it.”

“Never.”

“I know it’s true.”

“I know that it’s true you’re a dork.”

“That too. But you always hold your breath, waiting for me to call you something.”

“I do not!”

“You do,” he teases, kissing me once more.

“Whatever,” I tease back, my lashes brushing my cheeks. “But maybe we should wait for labels, but just know that if the other one gets with anyone else, we will truly hurt them. Once Aiden knows, we can put a label on it.”

He nods slowly. “I completely agree with that.”

“Good.”

His eyes hold mine, and they’re dark and intense. “Listen, I know I haven’t told you a lot, and I know you have questions, but trust me, I plan on telling you. I just have to figure out how.”

“Confidently?” I offer, just like he did to me.

“Yeah. I’m not there yet.”

“That’s okay,” I say instantly. “Really. I’m here.”

He gives me a soft smile. “That means a lot to me, and I definitely don’t want to hurt you.”

“I know you don’t, and I trust you, Wes. I do.” He doesn’t seem convinced, and I really want to hit that therapist with my car. She messed with my guy’s confidence, and I don’t like that. “I don’t care what she says, Wes. I trust you. I know you don’t want to hurt me.”

“I really don’t,” he says softly. “But I’ve been through some shit, and I’m still healing.”

He isn’t looking at me; I don’t know if he can. I knew something was up this morning. I’m not saying he texts and calls at every turn, but he always beats me when it comes to texting someone first. He also doesn’t do one-word texts, which was a huge sign for me too. But seeing him… Yeah, he is attentive and sweet and kind, but his eyes aren’t right. They are always full of light and excitement when he sees me, even before we started this. But I knew from the jump tonight that he wasn’t okay.

I hate that he is hurting. I hate that someone got in his head and made him doubt himself. Without much thought, I get up, coming around the table, much to his surprise. I sit down in his lap, and he wraps his arms around my waist as I wrap mine around his neck. “Is this okay?”

He holds me close, stroking right along my butt and the small of my back, but I can tell he’s confused. “Yeah?”

“My love language is touch, so when I’m feeling a certain way, or I get worried, I like to touch. So, you’ve got to tell me if that’s not okay.”

“It’s fine.”

“Awesome. Wes, let me help heal with you. I know this is new, but I know what I am feeling, and you’ve got me feeling things I’ve never felt before. I already worry about you. I already think of you before I go to sleep and when I wake up. I trust you, Wes. I do. So, trust me and know I am listening when you speak. And above all else, I am always, always here.”

He looks up at me, and the emotion is clear in his eyes. He rubs my back, squeezing my thigh as he kisses my jaw. When he leans back, his eyes burn into mine. “One of the nonsexual things about you that turns me on is how passionate you are about the people you love.”

“Yeah, I’m like my dad.”

“Just less scary?”

I grin. “I can be scary.”

“I’m sure,” he says, a small chuckle leaving his lips. “Listen, I’m not perfect, not even kinda, but my body and my heart are worth the risk. Or, at least, I think so. I didn’t take getting close with you lightly. I knew what I would be asking. Again, I know you don’t know what is going on with me or even have a clue, but believe me, I don’t have any intentions of hurting you or betraying you or anything along those lines.”

I cup his jaw, my heart beating so hard it hurts. My skin prickles, and chills run up my spine. “No one is perfect, Wes. Everyone is a risk. Relationships are a risk,” I say softly, holding his gaze. “My mom once told me the biggest risk of her life was taking my dad back. Yeah, it was all a misunderstanding—he never cheated on my mom, but she thought he had. When he came back into her life, he wasn’t the man she had known. He had grown, he had changed, and she would tell me the fear of the unknown, the fear of his past coming to bite her, was terrifying but the risk was worth the reward.” His hand comes up, moving my hair out of my face and behind my ear. “You think I haven’t noticed that you aren’t the guy from Aiden’s wedding? You think I don’t see the change, the growth? Because I do. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be sitting in your lap right now, begging you, urging you, not to believe a word that woman said to you. I don’t need to know your past to see that you could be my future, Wesley.”

His fingers bite into my back as he leans his forehead into my chin, and I can feel his heart beating frantically in his chest. When he tips his head back, his eyes meeting mine, I’m breathless at the light shining in them. He wants so desperately to be “good enough” for me, but he already is. I know he is. “Be my girlfriend, Stella,” he demands. “I know we said we’d wait for Aiden and all that, but I don’t want to. I want that label, that claim, now. I want you. Completely.”

I lean my nose into his, our eyes locked together as our breath matches in cadence. Surely, he sees the answer in my eyes, but just in case, against his lips, I say, “Wes, I am already yours.”