Dirty Toe Drag by Toni Aleo

Chapter Twenty-One

Stella

Lake calledand texted during my shift, but I was crazy busy, so I was unable to answer. It was a packed house with the Assassins’ game going since the game was completely sold out. It’s the only “weekend” game, if that’s even what you can call it since the guys are off the next two days before leaving for nine days, I think. Could be eight. I remember Wes telling me, and while I’m unsure of the amount of days, I know the amount of suckage it’s going to cause in my life.

A million.

A million pounds of suckage.

I’ve been spoiled the last couple weeks. We’ve spent a ton of time together, and the phone calls and texts have been endless. I don’t know if that’ll be the case when he’s gone. I’m nervous. Super nervous, actually. I don’t think he’d cheat or anything; that’s insane. I truly don’t believe he is that kind of man after everything we’ve each been through. I think what I’m nervous about is that if we aren’t in constant communication or together, he’ll shut down on me. He’ll start putting walls up, and I’ve done a damn good job so far knocking them down and having him see I am here for him. I know this will be a true test of our brand-new, sparkly relationship.

And I don’t want to lose him.

I don’t want to say I’m Noah-in-love with him, because I don’t think I am. When I was in love with Noah, it was all-consuming, and I swear I felt it in my veins, my heart singing his name. But I am, for sure, getting there. I care so greatly for Wes. I think of him constantly. Even before we got together, he was almost always somewhere in my head. He’s special. I adore him. And more than anything, I want to love him. More than I loved Noah.

I want to love him like my dad loves my mom. Aiden loves Shelli. Or even Asher loves Ally. Their loves are such great examples of what I want. I want that partnership. That head-over-heels-in-love feeling. I want to know someone has my back, always. I want the constant support.

The crazy thing is, I already feel like Wes and I do that for each other. Sometimes, I worry I do it more, but then it seems he needs it more, and I’m okay with that. I don’t feel this is one-sided; I think both of us are there for the other. But I worry about the space when he leaves.

How could I not? And I wonder if Wes is worried too?

As I head to my car, I dial Lake’s number. He answers almost immediately. “Oh wow. It’s my so-called best friend.”

I laugh. “Stop. You know I’ve been super busy. Unlike you, I actually text back.”

His laughter isn’t as carefree as it usually is. It feels forced as he says, “Whatever. You got a new boyfriend, and no one else matters. Not that I blame you. He is scrumptious.”

“That he is, but I juggle everything pretty well. What has your feather boa in a knot?”

“Actually, glad you asked,” he says, his voice a little crisper than usual, and it worries me.

“Are you okay?”

“No, I’m not, Stella.” I stop before I reach my car, striking my hand to my hip. “I went to register for summer session classes.” Fucking hell. I cover my face. I should have known this was coming. “Since we always take the same classes, I asked for your schedule for summer, and they told me they didn’t have one for you, but instead, that you’d put in the paperwork to not return.”

“Lake—”

“What the fuck, Stella? You told me you registered for your classes.”

I swallow hard. “I know I did, but that was before I decided to be done at the end of the semester.”

“Be done!” he roars, his voice squeaking at the end. “What the hell does that mean?”

“Lake, I really wanted to do this in person.”

“Too late, sweetheart. Here we are. Own up to your betrayal.”

“Wow, that’s dramatic,” I accuse, shaking my head. “It’s not betrayal. I want to do something else with my life, Lake. I don’t want to be in fashion.”

“When the hell did you decide this? We’ve had a plan!”

“I know. Things have changed.”

“When? When Wes came along? Are you changing for some guy?”

“Hell no. I’ve felt like this for a long time. I just wasn’t sure what I wanted.”

He lets out a long, frustrated breath. “This is bullshit. You’re leaving me high and dry.”

“You don’t need me,” I try, but he isn’t having it.

“Whatever, Stella. I can’t believe you’re doing this to me.”

“It’s not about you. It’s about me. I wanted to do this in person—”

“We’re supposed to be best friends, and you’ve left me out of the loop and betrayed me.”

“Lake, we are, and I’m sorry you feel that way. But I didn’t leave you out of the loop. I’ve been busy. I work two jobs, I go to school, and I have a boyfriend now. I wanted to sit down and tell you what was going on, but I haven’t found the time. I’m sorry you found out like this—”

“Yup. Like I said, giving up everything for him. Have a great life, Stella.”

When the phone goes dead, I stand there, flabbergasted. Tears burn my eyes as I look around the parking lot, completely and utterly stunned. What an asshole. Lake is a lot of things—dramatic being at the top—but he isn’t cruel or hateful. At least, not to me. But then, maybe he is. I don’t know, but my heart hurts. More so that he didn’t even ask what I was doing since I was withdrawing from school. It’s as if Lake doesn’t care, and that hurts more than I can admit.

And it also scares me.

Because what if my family acts the same?

* * *

I tooka little extra time getting to Wes because I sat in my car and cried a bit longer than I should have, but I had to get it out. I’m upset Lake acted like that, but I think my crying was from fear. It freaks me out, and I hate that I’m allowing it to. I was slowly but surely building the confidence to tell everyone, but now, it’s all shot to hell. Which reminds me, I need to text my mom that I’m not coming home tonight. I send her a quick text as I knock on the door to see if Wes is home. I don’t see his truck, but maybe it’s in the garage. When he doesn’t answer, I reach into the mail slot to the bottom, where Wes had said the extra key was. I’m surprised I beat him here.

As I unlock the door, my phone rings, and I answer without needing to look.

It’s my mom.

“Hey, Mom.”

I open the door as she says, “Hey, honey. You’ll be home tomorrow to help with setup for everything, right?”

“Yes, Mom. I took off from school, remember?”

Wes’s house is cute. Very modern, with dark furniture and a huge TV. He has a whole gaming unit and a gaming chair, but to my surprise, it’s super clean in here. His kitchen is small, with a bar and chairs, but no dining room. He has a spacious deck, though, that he has nothing on. He needs some plants and chairs. Maybe some lights.

“Oh, that’s right,” she says as I walk into his bedroom, checking it out. It’s as big as the other rooms combined, with a huge bed, an even bigger closet, and a downright killer bathroom. The shower is glass, and the tub is freestanding. I suddenly want to take a bath.

With Wes.

But we aren’t here for sexy time, apparently.

Maybe I can change that.

I shut off the light and head back into the living room. “I’ll be there.”

What she doesn’t know is that I have to be at Audrey’s at six, and then together, we’re heading to our house. Parties are usually at the Adlers’ house, but Mom insisted on having this one at ours.

“So, things are serious between you and Wes?”

I knew that was coming. “I think so.”

“Has he told Aiden yet? ’Cause Aiden hasn’t said anything, and I haven’t seen his mug shot.”

I snort. “Not yet. Probably when they’re on the trip.”

“Hopefully, it doesn’t slip out at the gender reveal. That would be tragic.”

I roll my eyes. “Who would let it slip, Mom?”

“Not us. Just saying. Wes looks at you like he worships you—it’s hard to ignore.”

“Is that a bad thing?” I ask, thinking that it totally isn’t. It’s over-the-top sweet in my opinion.

“Absolutely not. I wouldn’t want anything else, but I also want your brother to know. I think it’s taking too long, and he’s going to be pissed when he finds out.”

“I agree,” I say just as the door opens. “But it is what it is. Don’t worry about me.”

“That’s all I do. You’re my favorite.”

I laugh out loud as I stand, grinning widely at Wes. “Mom, we all know Aiden is your favorite. It’s cool. I’ll see you tomorrow. Wes just walked in.”

“Okay, love you. Use condoms.”

“Thanks, Mom. Love you,” I say, laughing as I hang up. Wes’s lips turn up at the sides as he makes his way toward me. He’s wearing a very sexy, fitted red suit that looks fantastic with his coloring. His hair is wild, and he has a good deal of scruff on his face.

In other words, he’s fucking exquisite.

His eyes are dark as he pulls me into his arms, and I wish like hell I looked better. My hair is up in a bun, I’m wearing work clothes, and I probably smell like food. The look on his face, though, tells me he doesn’t give two shits. He just wants me. I don’t want to say I never noticed the way he looks at me—because I have, and it’s one of my favorite things about him—but his eyes are so possessive, it makes me hot everywhere.

But this isn’t a sexy-time sleepover.

Rude.

His lips come to mine, capturing them ever so quickly. He wraps me up so tightly in his arms, I lift up on my toes. I live for these kinds of kisses. I don’t get them much, and I feel as if he tries to control them around me. As if he wants to kiss me like this all the time but he doesn’t trust himself. As he tears his mouth from mine, his eyes are hooded, but the smile he wears is lethal.

“Hey, baby.”

“Hey,” I say, grinning up at him. “Great game. Way to come back for the win.”

“Thanks. You’d be proud.”

“I am proud.”

“No. I mean, I had the chance to kick this guy’s ass, and I didn’t. I only slashed him.”

“Wow. Growth.”

“That’s what I thought,” he says, chuckling as he gathers me closer. “How’s your mom?”

“Nuts. As always,” I say, stroking my fingers through his scruff. “I like this. It’s hot.”

He shows me his teeth, gripping my ass and squeezing it. “I like this.”

“I bet you do,” I laugh as I lean into him.

“You tell her you were here?”

“I did. She doesn’t mind,” I add when his eyes widen. “Good kid, remember?”

He eyes me. “I feel this good-kid thing is a façade.”

I smirk. “Totally.” He kisses me again, and I slip my tongue into his mouth just to show him how naughty I can be. He dips me back, holding me close as he devours my mouth. This time, I pull back, looking deep into his eyes. “I love your house.”

“Thanks,” he says, kissing down my jaw. “It’s plain.”

“It is. Needs some decorations. I could help.”

“I would love that,” he murmurs against my ear, sucking on my lobe, and I feel like I’m drowning in lava. Everywhere is hot, and I’m shaking for him.

“I’m very confused here,” I moan, and he trails his lips up my jaw.

“What’s wrong?”

“I thought we weren’t doing a sexy sleepover.”

He smiles against my cheek, nibbling on it. “We aren’t.”

“Well, you turned me on the minute you walked in, so you may need to allow me to take a cold shower.”

His laugh is low and dirty as he pulls away, cupping my face. “It’s hard. I missed you and I want you. Deeply.”

I smile, covering his hand with mine. “I missed you, and same. But…” I draw out. “If we’re still on this wait-to-tell-Aiden kick, that means you wouldn’t want me climbing you like a tree and rocking the hell out of your world. Which means you need to give me some space.”

“I always want that.”

“Exactly. So, am I climbing or showering?”

“Showering,” he says reluctantly, and then he snorts, “The good kid.”

I grin. “She said to use condoms.”

His laughter trails behind me as I head into his bathroom. I start the water, and when I turn, he is walking in with towels. “How was your day?”

I shrug, remembering how shitty Lake was to me. “It was okay. Good night. I made tons of money, even without my regular.”

I waggle my brows at him, and he grins. “I would have tipped more than all of them.”

“You don’t have to anymore,” I remind him, and he laughs.

“I still will if you’re waiting on me.”

“You’re too kind,” I say, undoing my hair. It comes down in a curtain of thickness, and I move it off my shoulder. “But then my night went to shit. You remember Lake, right?”

He nods. “The party we went to.”

“Yeah,” I confirm, pointing at him. “Well, he called. Apparently he went to sign up for summer classes, and we usually keep the same schedule, but I withdrew, and they told him that.”

“Is that legal to tell your business?”

“He’s sleeping with the registrar.”

He makes a face. “Well, that’s unfortunate for you.”

“It is. He was pissed. Told me I betrayed him and was awful to me. Never asked what I was doing instead or anything. Just blamed the fact that since I have a boyfriend now, I don’t care about anything else.”

“That’s bullshit, though.”

“I know, but I got in my head, and now I’m scared again to tell my parents. Not that I was doing it anytime soon, but I had some confidence building.”

He nods. “I get that, but you can’t let him ruin this for you. Obviously, he wasn’t a good friend. He didn’t even ask what your plans were. He made it about him.”

“I know,” I say softly. “But it sucks.”

“Don’t use his reaction as an excuse not to tell your parents. They aren’t Lake.”

I look up at him. “How are you going to call me out like that?”

He grins. “’Cause I know you, my surprising Stella, and I won’t stand by and let you not live up to your potential. The same way you wouldn’t let me.”

I purse my lips at him. “I don’t like you.”

He takes me by my arm, pulling me hard and fast against him. He brings his hand up, grasping my jaw tightly, his eyes burning into mine and leaving me breathless. Jesus.

Do I call him “Daddy” now?

But…I know something isn’t right. “Don’t say that,” he mutters against my lips, his eyes closed.

I smile. “I was joking.”

He nods as he opens his eyes, and they’re swirling with something that is not good. Not his usual desire or anything like that. His face is scrunched up, and he looks confused. Or…wait, that’s fear. “I know. I’m sorry if I freaked you out by grabbing you like that.”

I pause. “Wait, you didn’t do this for sexy time?”

His eyes burn into mine. “No, I did it because I’m scared.”

Well, talk about a bucket of ice water on me. I back up a bit in his arms. “Oh.”

He’s shaking. His eyes are wild as he explains, “When I was younger, my stepmom used to tell me all the time that she didn’t like me, that my dad didn’t like me. I don’t know what it is about that phrase, but it fucks with me.”

We’re both breathing hard, our eyes locked. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry. I’ll never say it again.”

He nods. “Thank you.”

“And you better never grab me like that again unless it’s for sexy time,” I warn, and his eyes darken.

“I promise. I’m sorry. It happened so quickly.”

“It did. That’s why I didn’t kick you in your dick,” I say, allowing him to hold me as he is. Mostly because I love it. I love how strong he is to pull and throw me around like a rag doll.

But only in a sexy way.

“I’ll never do it again.”

“Except for sexy time.”

But he doesn’t agree with me. He only asks, “Did I hurt you?”

“Not at all, Wes. Calm down,” I urge, hearing his breathing out of control. “You’re fine. We’re fine.”

“I shouldn’t have done that.”

The guilt floods his features, and I grab his face so our gazes meet as I reassure him, “You’re right, you shouldn’t have. But we’re talking it out.”

He lets me go then and starts for the bedroom. Of course I follow him. He sits on the edge of the bed, and I sit beside him, rubbing his back.

“This is what she meant.”

I bring my brows in. “Who?”

“Melody. The therapist who got fired. That I wasn’t ready for a relationship. One phrase triggered a reaction, and it was a reaction I couldn’t control.”

I try to soothe him, rubbing his back and thigh. “You are fine, Wes. You did control it. You caught yourself almost immediately, and I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. You didn’t hurt me.” I laugh then, smiling at him. “I thought it was hot. I liked it.”

He swallows hard, shaking his head as he rubs his face. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Wes, you didn’t. You won’t.”

But he isn’t hearing me. “Maybe you should go.”

It’s as if he’s knocked the wind out of me. “What?”

He inhales deeply, not able to look at me. “I think you should go.”

“Are you sure? We can talk this out, lie down together. I won’t even talk about sexy time.”

I cup his face, but he’s shaking his head. “I’m insanely embarrassed right now, and I need time to process what I just did.”

“Wes, it wasn’t—”

“Stella, please,” he asks, his voice low and broken.

“I don’t want to leave you like this.”

“Please” is all he asks, and what can I do? I don’t want to leave, but I also understand he needs space. I get up, going into the bathroom and shutting off the water before grabbing my shoes and hair tie. I wipe up some of the water that had splashed on the floor, buying time in the hope he’ll change his mind. When I come out of the bathroom, though, he is in the same position he was when I went in there, looking absolutely lost and terrified.

Fuck.

“Are you sure? I can stay in the living room.”

“Thank you, but I need to think. You’re my favorite distraction, but I need to think.”

My heart melts for him. I walk over to him, kissing the top of his head. “Call me.”

“Okay.”

I rub the back of his head. “I’m here for you, Wes. I’m not even mad or scared or anything about what happened. I’m only worried for you.”

He swallows visibly, his shoulders dropping. “I’m sorry.”

I wait one more second, hoping he’ll ask me to stay, but he doesn’t, so I leave.

Unsure and scared.

But mostly, vibrating with worry for Wes.