Risk Taker by Sonia Stanizzo

Chapter 29

“Your publicist is arranging to have photos taken with Abigail at The Factory tomorrow night. We need to get the ball rolling. Hints of a relationship needs to filter out into the media. She’s going to email you the details.” Jerry sat in a black leather chair, with his feet propped up on a glass and chrome desk. “This will start generating some attention. We’ll get heavier with it closer to the time of filming. Fans will go nuts. I couldn’t think of a more perfect couple. And who knows, you might even get some action from Abigail.” Jerry gave a lewd leer.

Ethan gritted his teeth. “It’s for the job, nothing more.”

Jerry chuckled. “You have a reputation for sleeping with leading ladies. Gotta say, being in the film industry has its perks. We can get all the women we want.”

Ethan glanced at a framed picture of a pretty woman, probably his wife and two young girls sitting on the director’s desk.

Anger rolled through Ethan’s belly. How could he be so disrespectful to his family?

“I’ve heard you’ve got a woman. Just remember they’re like bloodhounds picking up a scent if they suspect anything. So be careful.” He smiled like he’d handed out great advice.

Ethan didn’t know how Jerry knew about Holly. Hearing him refer to her made his blood boil and he wanted to punch the sleazy grin off his face.

The director made what he had with Holly feel cheap and dirty. Giving Ethan another reason to want his fist to connect with the man’s face.

Then his mother’s words came to mind. I had something special. Something money can’t buy… love. And that’s what he had with Holly. Love. He’d been an idiot trying to believe his work was more important. And if he had to give everything up and live on toasted sandwiches and meat pies for the rest of his life just to be with her, then a life with her won hands down. Because he’d rather have Holly than all the money and success in the world. What an idiot he’d been for taking so long to realise it.

Ethan rose from the chair and looked down at Jerry with disgust. “You’ll need to get another actor to take my place.”

The director’s feet hit the floor. “What? You’ve signed a contract. You have to do it.”

“Tear it up, burn it. I don’t care. I’m not doing this movie.” Ethan sauntered to the door feeling like a slab of concrete had lifted off his back.

“If you don’t go through with our agreement, I’ll sue your arse off!” Jerry sputtered.

Ethan shrugged with indifference. “Contact my solicitor.” With that, he left the room.

* * *

One hour later, Ethan drove through the city. What the hell had he been thinking all this time? He thought as he swerved past a bike rider taking up most of the lane, he’d spent years focusing on building his career at the expense of everything. And in doing so, he’d forgotten about what really mattered. He was ashamed of himself. He’d believed money and a career, which provided for him and his family were more important. His focus fell on the hard times and the struggles of the past, instead of all the great years his family had before and after his father’s death. Yes, their mother had worked hard, but there wasn’t a day that their home wasn’t filled with love. Even during his darkest times, the love she had for her children pulled them through. Love and family were important. Not fame and fortune—those he could live without. He couldn’t live without Holly.

“I fucked things up,” he muttered as he parked his car in a spot outside a grey brick building. After searching for her, and not finding her at home or the café, his next stop was the makeup academy. Nerves had him gripping the steering wheel. Not even auditioning for a role got his knees shaking like this. He took a deep breath, picked up the paper bag from the passenger seat and got out of the car, making his way inside. He needed to find Holly and hope that what he’d once seen in her eyes, what he’d once felt in her touch, hadn’t disappeared. That he hadn’t destroyed it.

Sliding doors opened up into a lobby area. A few people lingered around, sipping coffee and chatting amongst themselves. Avoiding being noticed, he pulled the bill of his cap down—the ‘Australian Made’ one he bought the night Holly went searching for a hostel to stay, and ducked his head as he walked past them.

The board on the wall with the list of businesses in the building told him what room he needed. Ethan made his way down a long corridor. The sounds of guitars playing and people singing drifted from rooms in the building. When he found the class, he took a deep breath and entered the room. He blinked a few times due to the bright lightbulbs surrounding the wall-to-wall mirrors. It was a makeup trailer on steroids. Students stood around their subjects sitting in chairs working on them. A strong smell of perfumed products floated thick in the air and conversation was loud and happy.

It didn’t take a second to spot Holly. She was applying eyeshadow on a woman. Laughing at something she’d said. God, he missed that sound.

As if she’d felt his presence, she lifted her gaze from her student and their eyes locked in the mirror’s reflection. The brush in her hand suspended in mid-air. Slowly she put it down and turned. The woman in the chair Holly was working on also swivelled in her seat then squealed, “Ethan Doyle!”

The class turned to see what was happening. A moment later, the room filled with noise and chatter. All he heard was Holly whisper, “What are you doing here?”

Suddenly phones were pointed back and forth between him and Holly—filming—because a famous actor was in the room or they’d picked up on tension.

“Can we talk outside?” he asked.

She nibbled on her bottom lip, looking unsure. Was she going to refuse? Then she nodded and walked past him and through the door.

The room filled with giggles and whispers as they left.

Ethan’s posture slumped with relief and he followed her to an alcove in a wall away from prying eyes. God, he wanted to pull her into his arms and touch her. He needed to hold back. It was the hardest thing he’d had to do.

Taking in her beautiful face, he said, “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” she whispered. That was a good start—he hoped.

Her gaze trailed over his body. Not in a way that told him she wanted to jump him, more with surprise. “You’re wearing jeans and a t-shirt and that hat.”

Ethan couldn’t remember the last time he’d worn casual clothing and had to delve deep in his wardrobe to find some. He’d grown accustomed to the finer things, money could buy and surrounded himself with them. He wrapped them around him like a security blanket. Wearing casual clothes reminded him too much of the times he’d had to rely on charity shops for basic clothing items.

He had nothing to prove anymore. All the fancy clothes and restaurants hadn’t made him the man he was today. It was his upbringing, the good with the bad and it was time to stop being ashamed and hiding his old life.

“I like it.” A ghost of a smile lifted the edges of her lips.

He wanted to take the sadness from her eyes and make her smile bright.

Before he told her how he felt, he needed to explain why he’d believed choosing his career over a relationship was for the best.

“I told you when my dad died, my family struggled. I hated watching my mother work so damn hard to support us.”

She nodded.

“What no one knows is during that time, I fell into a dark place. A place I scratched and clawed to pull myself out of. I was so depressed, I…considered… ending things. It took me months to breathe again. And I did everything I could to never sink back into that hole.”

Sadness filled her eyes. “Your family didn’t know?”

He shook his head. “You’d think you’d know if someone you loved was depressed, especially your family, the people you’re the closet to, like it was stamped on your forehead for everyone to see. They’re the ones I fooled the most. They had no idea. I smiled and laughed on cue, but my insides festered.”

“Did you get help?”

“Only one person picked up on it. Out of all my teachers, it was the drama teacher—the play I signed up to because of a girl.” He gave a small smile. “I guess she was good at detecting real and fake emotions. Anyway, she encouraged me to see the school counsellor. I promised I’d go if my mum never found out. She didn’t need the extra stress. After I left school and when I could afford it, I went to a psychologist regularly until I finally began to feel like myself again. I make an appointment every six months to stay on the safe side.”

“Oh, Ethan, I’m so sorry you’ve been through all that. I don’t get why you’re telling me all this now?”

His heart pounded. He needed to get everything out. “Because I want you to understand why I behaved like an idiot. Why I convinced myself my career was so important. But it means nothing if I don’t have you.” Holly’s eyes glistened. “I pulled out of the film.”

She sucked in a surprised breath. “You did? It was your dream role. It’s what you’ve been working for—what you wanted.”

“You’re what I want… need. I was too stupid to see past my insecurities.” He took a deep breath. “I love you Holly.”

She placed her fingers over her trembling lips. “You love me?”

He dropped his forehead against hers. “I love you so much. More than I ever thought possible. I’ve been so stupid. I’m taking longer breaks between movies because I want to spend as much time with you as possible. Please forgive me and give me another chance.”

“Yes.” She smiled gazing up into his eyes.

“Yes?” he repeated, not sure if he’d heard right.

She giggled and nodded. “I love you too, Ethan Doyle. These past few weeks without you have been the worst days of my life.”

Ethan threw his head back and blew out a long breath of relief.

Laughing, Holly wrapped her arms around his neck and jumped up, hooking her legs around his waist. He dropped the paper bag and planted kisses all over her face, lips and neck. Anywhere he could reach, as long as he touched her.

“I can’t believe you gave up the role of a lifetime,” she said between their frenzied kisses.

“The director’s going to sue my arse off. I’ll lose millions. I could end up broke. I hope you like living off meat pies and toasted sandwiches.” He nodded at the bag near his feet. “I brought you a selection. They might be squashed now.”

She cupped his face in her hands, their eyes connecting. Love poured from them. He knew she was his and he’d always be hers. “That’s okay, I’ve never needed a life of luxury. All I want is you.”

* * *

They returned to Holly’s class to get her bag, and were met with smiling and excited faces.

“Get your cameras out ladies. You’re about to get an exclusive,” Ethan announced.

It took the women a second to whip them out and point in their direction.

What was Ethan up to? Holly searched his smiling face.

He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her toward him so their chests touched.

In a loud voice he said, “Holly Ainsworth is the love of my life. My leading lady and I’m going to spend the rest of my life making her happy.”

He flicked his head toward their audience and lowered his voice for only Holly to hear, “No chance of hiding our relationship now.”

Holly’s eyes filled with happy tears. Her heart had never felt so full. God, she loved this man so much.

“I love you.” Ethan cupped her face in his hands and planted a long, slow, bone melting kiss on her lips.

The class erupted in cheers, whistles and applause.