Heartless Savage by Ivy Blake
Chapter Twenty Four
Austin
“Austin, is everything okay?’ I barely heard Susan’s voice as I walked up the stairs to my room. My throat was tight and I felt claustrophobic, not just in the space but in my body. How had I lost everything in a matter of moments?
I’d spent the whole morning speaking to the lawyer, arranging the details of my case so that we had everything set before we tried to nail Steven. I’d been really confused when Megan had texted me in the middle of the meeting, accusing me out of nowhere. Then to see her turn up to my house with puffy eyes that told me she’d been crying heavily and for a while had made me even more confused and angry at who or whatever had led her to feel this way.
Then she told me that I had done it. That I had sent those pictures of her around the school. And while I did still have them on my phone, I couldn’t believe that she would think that I could do something like that to her. After everything we’d been through together. Megan still saw me as a monster and I guess that’s what I’d always be in her eyes. As I rolled a joint, I thought about how I hadn’t gotten high in a while, had been using Megan as a distraction from my feelings. But now that she’d turned on me, like I had feared she would, I was left alone with my dark thoughts and feelings. Tears were streaming down my face and I wasn’t quite sure what was causing them.
Was I upset that Megan didn’t believe me? Or was it that Steven had been right, that I wasn’t worthy of anyone’s love? Megan had one thing right, I was capable of something like this, and before I knew her really well I probably would have done something similar. But I hadn’t, and the fact that she didn’t believe me punctured a hole in my chest and made the whole situation worse. I was stupid for trusting her, for thinking that Megan was any different. People had let me down so many times before, and I’d sworn that I was never going to allow myself to be put in such a vulnerable position again. Yet here I was, crying over some girl like a little bitch with no life.
Megan’s face flashed before me as I lit up my joint. I took a long drag, not caring that Nate and his parents would be able to smell it from downstairs. I didn’t care, I simply needed to block it all out, block her out. You ruined my life, she’d said, and she really believed it. I took another drag, holding the smoke for extra-long, hoping that the feeling of my burning lungs would replace the other feelings I was having. The memories and moments we’d shared, thinking they could lead to something, but no.
Technically this was still my fault. Nate had been right when he’d said that I’d somehow fuck Megan over. I had taken those pictures in the first place for blackmail. And even though I hadn’t leaked them, someone else had beat me to it. Fuck. The realisation that someone had gotten into my gallery was shocking enough to poke through the cloud that had started to settle in my mind. I unlocked my phone to see if I’d been sent the message and I’d simply missed out on it. No new messages. I remembered Megan’s screen, the message she’d shown me had come from an unknown number so there was no way to trace who the asshole was that had done this to her. I stared out of my window as I recounted all the details. Someone had to be setting us both up. That was the only possible explanation unless I’d sent the message in my sleep with a burner phone that had disappeared into thin air. The question that remained was why? What did this person have to gain from exposing Megan in this way?
There was a knock on my door, startling me in my inebriated stupor. Just as I turned to see who it was, Nate let himself into my room, even though he was meant to be at school.
“Hey man, what’s up? Mom called and said you were pretty upset. She wanted me to check on you,” he said slowly, his eye falling on the joint in my hand. I raised my eyebrow, daring him to say something. Luckily for him, he kept his mouth shut.
“I’m fine,” I lied, blowing out a cloud of smoke.
“I saw the pictures today,” said Nate, his eyes scanning my face for guidance on how he should react. I kept my face blank.
“Oh yeah?” I said, making myself sound bored, even though I was itching to know what he and Ross thought about it and if they thought I was responsible for the pictures.
“Was it you?” The question hung heavy in the air between me and my best friend. I looked into Nate’s eyes and even though I could tell he was trying to appear unfazed by the situation, I could tell that he was a bit confused.
“No,” I said honestly after a moment. “I took them, but I didn’t send them around.”
“Bro what the hell!” exclaimed Nate. “Any idea who did?”
“No clue.”
“How’s things with you and Megan?” he asked warily.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” I snapped. A thought popped into my mind. “You’re good with phones, computers and shit right?” Nate shrugged.
“I guess I know a few things, what do you need?”
“I want to figure out who sent these and why they’d frame me for it.” I also wanted to smash their skull in. Maybe something else would have happened that would have made me realise that Megan didn’t love me as much as she had claimed to. Maybe it was better that it was now rather than months or years down the line. It was better to cut things off now before I wasted any more time on someone who was more concerned with their own feelings rather than the truth.
“I can try, but I can’t promise anything,” said Nate, gesturing for me to hand over my phone. I hesitated, protective of my privacy after it had already been compromised before I swallowed my pride and gave it to him. I had to find out who was behind this, not for Megan’s sake, but my own. I’d talked myself out of many situations at school, but I had no clue how my teachers would respond to shit like this. Time was ticking, and whoever was responsible was out there. I was prepared to show them what happened when they messed with me, to make sure that they never pulled that shit again.
* * *I got in my bed as soon as I got home, diving into my bed in an attempt to hide from the world. Scrolling on my phone hadn’t been helpful at all, some people from my school, using anonymous usernames, had turned my pictures into memes that they were spreading around group chats while laughing and revelling in my misery. I had message requests from people on Facebook that I’d never spoken to or didn’t recognise. Some nicer than others, some calling me names that would be tattooed on the inside of my brain forever. Eventually I turned off my phone, deciding that it was too much, I didn’t need to hear everyone’s opinion of me while I was already in the middle of a crisis.
I’d never felt so alone and so helpless. Even those first few weeks at school hadn’t been this bad. I’d wanted it to end sure, but this was on a whole other level. I felt like I’d never be able to get back from this, and I couldn’t ever forgive him. Austin. I thought back to the look on his face before he’d basically denounced our relationship, leaving me to stand crying as he walked back into that stupidly massive mansion.
I should have listened to Sophie’s warnings, but I thought I’d known what was best for me. I’d gotten hurt because I wanted to believe that Austin was better than he was, even though all the signs said otherwise. As I cried I tried to focus on all the awful things that he’d done to me and tried to channel my anger through those, but memories of the kisses we shared, the hand holding and the intimate sex we had kept pushing through, making me cry even harder. I let myself cry, because I knew that I’d have to pull myself together when Lola got home and God forbid I was still in this state when Mom came back in the evening.
I needed a distraction, even if it was temporary. I was starting to get a headache from having cried for so long. As I waited for my laptop to turn on, I took some painkillers and drank an entire glass of water, praying that the pain would subside soon. I decided to watch Bojack Horseman, allowing myself to be swept up by the colourful animation as I wrapped my blanket tighter around my body.
A few hours later as the sun began to set, I heard a scuffle at the door and something drop on the mat. It was the postman. I ignored it, someone else could pick it up. I continued watching my show, clicking on to the next season. Halfway through the next episode a thought crossed my mind. The postman had already been to our house today, I’d remembered seeing mom’s letters on the floor when I’d gotten back from seeing Austin. I pressed pause on my laptop and reluctantly left my blanket behind, deciding to venture downstairs.
As expected, there was a white envelope on the doormat, but when I flipped it over I noticed that while it was addressed to me, it was handwritten instead of printed, like most of our letters were. I grabbed a knife from the kitchen and carefully opened the letter, my hands shaking as I took out its contents. 6 Polaroid pictures, all looking into my bedroom window whiles I was getting changed. My breath was stuck in my throat and I felt like I was going to faint from shock. This could not be happening, not right now. I flipped through the photos, the disgust and embarrassment building in me. The pictures at school had been bad, but this was a whole other violation. I looked closer, and it looked like the pictures had been taken on different days, meaning that whoever had taken these hadn’t only just been here once, they’d been watching me for a while.
The stalker.
I nearly fell to my knees as I caught sight of a slip of paper with a message on it written in scrawled handwriting. I swallowed hard as I tried to make sense of the writing.
I think these are much better than the other ones, don’t you agree, Megan? I’m looking forward to seeing even more…
I shivered and it wasn’t from the cold. I nearly dropped the paper as I ran around the house checking that the doors were closed. I took a chance and looked out the window to see if he was out there, relieved to see that the road was empty. My hands were shaking with fear as I pulled out my phone. I sent a quick text to Lola asking when she’d be home, hating the feeling of having the house to myself whilst my stalker was still on the loose, presumably nearby. I closed all the curtains in the house and turned the lamps on, walking around impatiently as I waited for Lola to come back. I looked at the new set of pictures, the ones that could really ruin my life and cursed myself for leaving my curtains open. I’d wrongly assumed that the height was enough to save my modesty, but clearly I’d been wrong.
I froze as I heard Lola struggle with the key in the lock.
“Hey, Meg, are you okay?” she came rushing into the living room, her face full of concern. I shook my head and stammered as I tried to put everything into words.
“It’s gotten- s-s-so much worse, I don’t know what to do,” I sobbed and for what must have been the first time in years, Lola wrapped her arms around me, bringing me close to her chest for a hug. The embrace felt a bit awkward, but I was grateful for my sister’s support.
“It’s Austin isn’t it?” said Lola after a moment, her tone was hard, but I could tell that her anger was directed at Austin instead of me.
“I thought so,” I said sniffing, “but then these came.” I showed her one of the pictures where you could only see my naked back, and I was glad that I didn’t have to show her the other ones, Lola already got the gist.
“Is this that stalker you were talking about?” she gasped.
“He put these pictures through the letterbox today, I don’t know how he’d have anything to do with the other pictures though. They were on Austin’s phone-”
“You telling me you can’t put two and two together?” Lola said, throwing her arms up in agitation. I shook my head, it couldn’t be. Austin had proven himself to be untrustworthy, but he couldn’t also be my stalker. The timeframes didn’t make sense.
“No, he’s not the stalker,” I said firmly. “Austin might have posted those pictures of me at school, and that might have made this guy jump on the bandwagon.” Did that mean that my stalker went to our school? It had to be someone who was a student, how else would they have been able to send that mass text around?
“What do you think this guy wants?”
“I’d be damned if I knew.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t believe you,” Lola said, her face genuinely apologetic. “Please tell me everything that’s happened up until now.”
‘It’s okay,” I said to my sister, placing a reassuring hand on hers. I proceeded to fill Lola in on everything that happened, the sightings of the stalker at home and at school, trying to talk to the police, everything. Lola listened patiently, her eyes growing wider as I unveiled the whole story that I’d been keeping secret.
“I still can’t believe you haven’t told mum,” she said.
“I know, it’s dumb, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. You didn’t believe me after all.” Lola cringed before swiftly moving on from her earlier lack of judgment.
“Surely you can go to the police with this? He’s basically threatening you with these.”
I shook my head no, there had to be another way. “It’s not enough. He’s gotten this far and he clearly won’t give up until he gets what he wants from me.” I could see Lola’s brain hard at work as she tried to think of a possible solution.
“I guarantee Mom’s gonna find out really soon, those pictures are everywhere.”
I shrank back into my seat, mortified at the thought of Mom seeing those images of me.
“But, she’ll help you take Austin down, that’s for sure.” Austin. Something about him being involved with this didn’t make sense. Could the stalker be one of his friends? I’d heard of guys swapping explicit pictures of girls they knew before, I just never thought I would ever be involved.
“Did you hear that?” Lola said suddenly, her arm frozen in mid-air.
“No?” I said, suddenly on high alert.
“I think Mom’s back early,” she hissed, her voice full of panic.
“Shit!”
I ran upstairs and hid the envelope with the pictures and the message from the stalker underneath my pillow where Mom couldn’t find them. I heard the door open and felt the breeze it let in as I made my way to the top of the stairs.
“Megan, Lola can come here please,” Mom called, her voice serious. I took a deep breath as I took my time walking down the stairs, rehearsing the explanation that would sound the best.
“Hey Mom,” said Lola. She was standing at the bottom of the stairs, a forced smile stuck to her face. As I joined them I realised that Mom had a really concerned expression on her face.
“Hey,” I said, barely more than a whisper. I wished that she’d just come out and say it instead of calling a family meeting like this, the anticipation was killing me.
“Let’s all go in the sitting room and have a chat,” said Mom as she slipped off her shoes, her eyes flitting between me and Lola.
We silently obeyed.Lola and I took residence on one sofa while Mom sat in the armchair, assuming the position of a fierce dictator. Her phone was in her lap, and while I couldn’t see what was on it, I knew it couldn’t be good. Mom cleared her throat and clasped her fingers before she finally broke the tense silence.
“I got a call from your school today,” she said slowly, her eyes on me. She paused, waiting for me to fill in the gaps, but my eyes dropped to the floor, the pressure too much for me to speak.
“The call was concerning some indecent pictures spreading around school.” Mom paused again and this time Lola interjected before I could make a fool of myself.
“It wasn’t her fault, she was being blackmailed. You know Megan would never do anything like this on purpose!” exclaimed Lola.
I was shocked to hear her defending me so vehemently, but in that moment where I was struggling to find my words and was feeling the pressure of Mom’s gaze and her disappointment in me, I really appreciated Lola sticking up for me.
“Megan, what do you have to say about all this?” My chest tightened as lifted my gaze to meet Mom’s. My bottom lip started to quiver and Mom’s eyes softened as she realised how upset I was.
“Megan, you’re not in trouble, I just want to hear your side of the story.” I nodded, wiping my nose as I tried to get my story straight.
“Lola’s right, someone took those pictures, to blackmail me-”
“Who?” Mom said, cutting me off. I glanced over at Lola and from the look in her eyes I could tell that she wanted me to tell Mom it was Austin.
“Megan, I need you to tell me who was blackmailing you, this is really serious.”
“Promise me you won’t freak out?” I blurted out, realising that Lola was probably going to tell even if I didn’t. Or maybe she already knew after speaking to the school.
Mom raised an eyebrow. “I’m not promising anything.”
I sighed, feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place. “Austin took the pictures, saying that if I didn’t tutor him he’d send them-”
“He what?” exclaimed Mom, “And I let that boy take you out! I can’t believe this, why didn’t you tell me?”
“Mom, calm down let her explain,” Lola butted in. “Carry on, Meg.”
“Thanks,” I said nodding at Lola. My cheeks started burning with shame and embarrassment as I recounted the whole situation with Austin to Mom, having to stop every time she interrupted with a question.
“I still don’t get how you dated him after he threatened to expose you like that,” she said quietly after I’d finished.
“I don’t know either,” I said truthfully, staring down at my hands.
“It sounds like you’ve been going through a lot, if I knew that the bullying had been so bad- and that he’d been the cause of it, I would have done something sooner,” Mom said, shaking her head sadly.
“It’s not your fault,” I said. I’d chosen to keep it to myself, I wanted to show that I could rise above Austin and his treatment of me even if it put me in harm’s way. But look at where that had gotten me.
“We’re going to speak to your school tomorrow to get this sorted out properly, do you understand?”
I nodded, even though the idea of explaining this whole situation again in front of teachers who barely knew me, and probably looked down on me already, was too much to bear.
“I need you to be honest with me Megan.” Mom leaned forward in her chair. “Are you sure there isn’t anything else you need to tell me?”
I had left out all the details about the stalker. That was the scariest part that I was still struggling to wrap my head around. As with the Austin situation, it was time to come clean, especially since this guy seemed to be getting worse.
“S-s-someone’s been stalking me,” I said between sobs. I could hear Mom’s sharp intake of breath.
“Megan-”
“He hasn’t tried to speak to me, he just watches me and I don’t know what he wants. I went to the police station with Sophie and they said they couldn’t do anything until something more serious happened.” Mom’s face contorted into one of fury as she digested my words.
“These stupid cops don’t seem to care about real problems!” she exclaimed, throwing her arms up in exaggeration.
“They’re useless!” Lola added.
“But they’re right, we can’t really do anything. I just have to hope he goes away,” I said, shrugging. My problems still remained, he still had those pictures on me, for all I knew he had many more in his secret lair or whatever.
“I’m ordering pizza, a CCTV system and I’m going to make a few calls-you girls stay put,” Mom said as she stood up from her chair.
“I’m sorry that I’ve been working so much that I didn’t even realise all this was going on.”
She looked and sounded so sad as she came over to me and wrapped one arm around me in an awkward yet comforting hug.
“It’s not your fault,” I said, my throat feeling tight.
Mom left Lola and me as she went into the other room, closing the door behind her so that her voice was muffled.
“It’s a good thing you told her the truth,” said Lola after a moment. “I am surprised that she didn’t go off on you more though,” she added lightly. “I’m mostly glad you’re safe though.”
“Me too,” I said.
“I need to get changed because I’ve been in this for too long.” Lola stood up and went to her room, leaving me with my racing thoughts. I wanted this all to be over. Moving here was meant to be a fresh new start, a chance for things to be better, but I’d only experienced that promise in a few fleeting moments, before they’d been snatched away from me. My stomach hurt, this time it was because of hunger and I couldn’t wait until the pizza arrived.
