Heartless Savage by Ivy Blake

Chapter Twenty Three

Megan

As expected, the nightmares had returned. Even though I’d looked outside my window at least 50 times last night, there’d been no sight of my stalker until I closed my eyes to sleep. I tried to imagine Austin’s arms around me, rocking me gently as I drifted off to sleep but I kept being interrupted by the sound of the wind whistling through the trees. Even though I felt dumb for doing it, I pulled out my phone to see if Austin was awake. After all, he did make me promise to text him.

You still up?-M

His text came back mere seconds after I’d hit send.

Awake and at your service. Bad dream?- A

Yeah, it sucks that you’re not here. - M

I could be ;)- A

Mom would kill me.- M

We texted back and forth until my eyes gave up, shutting without my permission just as the sun came up. I managed to get a couple hours of sleep in until my alarm went off, startling me awake. I groaned as I dragged myself to the shower. The last place I wanted to be was school, but I had some important tests this week so there was no way I was going to get out of those.

I checked my phone and smiled as I realised there was a text that Austin had sent me after I’d fallen asleep.

Hope you sleep well, love you Meg. -A

My fingers flew across the screen as I typed up a reply.

Not great, but thanks for keeping me company. Love you too.- M

* * *

I was sitting in my physics class, stifling a yawn as I tried to pay attention to what my teacher was saying. To make matters worse, Miss Watson spoke in a very slow, monotone voice that was perfect for sending people to sleep. If only I could hire her to talk me to sleep each night- my problems would definitely be sorted. Finally, we were dismissed for lunch and I met Sophie in our usual place. She looped her arm through mine as we made our way to the hall.

“So, spill the tea- how was it?” she squealed.

‘How was what?” I yawned.

“Austin’s surprise!”

“Oh right,” I chuckled. I’d forgotten that I’d promised to give her the downlow when I saw her at school because there was some things that it was safer to not write down.

“It was a lot,” I laughed as we selected our meals. I picked up an extra muffin as my dessert, remembering that I’d skipped breakfast and that my low blood sugar was probably contributing to how tired I was feeling.

I gave Sophie a brief rundown of everything that happened the night that Austin has whisked me away, stopping when the other girls from the band joined our table. Now that there were more people present, I felt less guilty being quiet as I ate my food.

I allowed my attention to drift to Austin’s table, my heart sinking when I realised he wasn’t there. I wish he’d tell me when he wasn’t coming to school so at least I could prepare and not get my hopes up that I’d see him. Maybe I’d kept him up too late and he’d slept in? I checked my phone but there weren’t any notifications from Austin. I looked back up at his table at Nate and Ross who smiled when they caught my eye and continued speaking amongst themselves, surprisingly not causing chaos- which was rare for them.

Suddenly, it seemed like everyone’s phones in the dining hall went off at the same time. The cacophony of text tones and vibrations was enough to jolt me out of my thoughts.

“What the hell?” I said as I opened my phone. There was a message from an unknown number. Strange. There was a collective gasp and then everything happened at the speed of light.

“Oh my god, Megan, I-” Sophie’s voice faded into the background of other voices as I opened the message to see what I hoped I’d never see again. I wanted to be sick.

“That’s one of the new girls, isn’t it?”

“Do you think she sent it herself?”

“It’s not the most flattering picture.”

“Is this you?” I heard the voices around me, and they felt like they were coming from every corner of the room. I could barely bring myself to reply, my eyes fixed to my phone screen as tears sprung to my eyes, blurring out the images, but I still knew what they were. They were the pictures that Austin had taken that day in the library that he’d used to blackmail me.

And for whatever reason, that I couldn’t even begin to understand, he’d sent them to the whole school. There was a message above the pictures that read ‘MEGAN PARKER BARES ALL’. Sophie’s hand was on mine, another person’s hand was on my shoulder but I felt far from comforted. This was enough to ruin my life. Why would he do this to me after everything I’d done for him? After everything we’d been through?

I looked up through tears, glaring daggers at Nate and Ross who were on their phones laughing loudly, obviously having seen the pictures.

“Looking good Parker!” shouted Ross, with an obnoxious smile on his stupid face. Some students around him laughed at his comment which made me feel even worse.

“Megan, it’s going to be okay. We’ll figure out who did this-” Sophie began, but I stood up cutting her off.

“I need to get out of here,” I said, ignoring my half eaten food.

Before Sophie could convince me to change my mind, I ran out of the hall filled with judgemental eyes that had all seen the images used to orchestrate my downfall. I ran into the girls bathroom and locked myself in the toilets allowing myself to fully break down. The tears came thicker and faster now that I had no one watching me. My chest felt like it was splitting in two and I wanted to scream and yell and lash out. What did I do to deserve this?

I grabbed some tissue from the dispenser and wiped at my face, knowing that my eyes would be all red and puffy by now. I blew my nose and was disgusted by the amount of snot coming out. I’d heard of this type of shit happening at other schools, to other people, stories about girls getting their nudes leaked. But why me? Firstly, I hadn’t even taken the pictures, and secondly what had happened between our text conversation last night and today that would make Austin want to expose me in front of the whole school?

The shame I felt was debilitating and I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to go back in there and see all those faces again. This was worse than all the other times Austin had taunted me and made the whole school turn against me. The fact that he could tell me he loved me and then do this? It was too much for me to wrap my head around. My hands shook as I took out my phone.

I called Austin and waited for him to pick up. It rang once and then went to voicemail. Bastard. I rang again, wiping away tears as I prepared myself to give him a piece of my mind. Again it rang a couple times before going to voicemail. That meant he was hanging up on me on purpose. Now I was pissed and my tears had slowed down, I was starting to think straight again. Before I could send a text message, one came through from Austin.

What’s up? I’m kinda busy right now - A

Too busy ruining my life and laughing with his friends about it to even pick up my call?

Why did you send those pictures around?!

I didn’t care that he was busy, I had to get straight to the point if he was going to be difficult.

What the hell are you talking about?- A

Oh, so he was going to deny it.

You know exactly what I’m talking about.

Austin’s message came back quickly, clearly he wasn’t as busy as he claimed.

You sound crazy right now, I don’t know what you’re talking about!- A

I pocketed my phone and blew my nose again. So Austin was going to be difficult. So be it. But I could be difficult too. I’d given him way too many chances and let my guard down to the point where he could hurt me even more than he had when I’d barely known him. I hadn’t felt pain like this before and couldn’t help myself from bursting into tears again as I thought about how dumb I’d been to trust him.

I’d been stupid enough to trust Austin and hadn’t checked if he had deleted those indecent pictures of me. I’d gotten so distracted getting closer to him and been dumb enough to believe the shit he was telling me about his feelings- which couldn’t be real if he could pull this shit. It was my fault for trusting him. What if Lola and Mom saw these pictures too? As if she knew I was thinking about her, my phone buzzed with a message from Lola.

Woah, this must really suck for you.

No shit Sherlock. I didn’t bother replying and all I could think about was how mortified I’d be if Mom found out. How would I even begin explaining this shit to her? If she ever found out, she’d never let me forget about this mistake, that’s for sure. Knowing my mom, she was the type who would blame me for the pictures more than Austin, which would only make the situation worse.

I heard the door open to the bathroom and froze in my seat.

“Megan, are you in here?” It was Sophie. I flushed the toilet and checked my eyes in my phone camera before leaving the bathroom stall to join her.

“Hey,” I croaked, cringing at the sound of my voice. But this was Sophie, I didn’t have to hide from her.

“Aw, babe,” she said softly, wrapping her arms around me. Even though I’d spent a few minutes piecing myself back together, as soon as my chin touched Sophie’s shoulder I burst into tears again. Sophie rubbed my back and said soothing words into my ear until I calmed down again.

“Did Austin do this?” Sophie asked, her eyes urgent as if she was on a mission. I nodded my head, unable to admit to his crime against me out loud.

“What a fucking bastard, I knew we couldn’t trust him!” she growled, her eyes ablaze with fury.

“I just don’t understand why,” I sniffed.

“Guys like him don’t need a reason to be dicks,” said Sophie as she paced back and forth. “They just can’t seem to resist.”

“I can’t believe everyone’s seen it.”

“I think you should report him,” said Sophie sternly. I caught her eye and could tell that she was being serious.

“How? I don’t have any proof besides my own memory. He took the pictures to blackmail me into tutoring him,” I said, my shoulder slumping in defeat.

“So just say that, I’ll go with you to the principal’s office,” said Sophie, looping her arm through mine.”

“No.” I pulled my arm loose. “I need to get him to admit to it or they won’t be able to do anything about it. I need to talk to him face to face.” My voice quivered as I thought through my next steps.

“Are you sure you want to do that?” Sophie looked at me carefully. “I can do it for you if you want? I’m not afraid to let that asshole know exactly what I think of him.”

“No, I need to do it myself. How easy is it to get permission to leave?”

* * *

Sophie had taken me to the nurse’s office where she backed me up on a story about my awful period pains and episodic vomiting. The nurse gave me some painkillers and permission to go home to get some well needed rest. I hugged Sophie goodbye, appreciating her kindness and support throughout all this hell. As I pulled away, Sophie held onto my arms a bit longer.

“Meg, I know this hurts like hell right now, but you can do so much better than him, okay?”

I nodded at her even though deep in my heart I felt like it was so far from the truth. I waved her goodbye as I jumped in the car, texting Lola to tell her that I was going home and that she needed to find her own way back. I took a deep breath as I put the car in reverse, running over my words as I figured out how I was going to confront Austin. I turned up the volume to my music really high in an attempt to drown out my feelings, but every song seemed to be about love in some way, only making me feel worse about myself. I turned off the radio and drove to Nate’s house in silence.

Once I pulled up to Nate’s house, I sat outside for a few minutes second guessing myself. Maybe I’d made a mistake in coming here. Austin clearly didn’t want to talk to me and it was clear by the pictures he’d sent that he didn’t care about me either. For some reason, I was finding it difficult to believe that the same guy who’d done all these amazing things for my birthday, who’d told me he loved me would do all this. I had to do this for my sanity, to have some sort of closure.

I took a deep breath and opened the car door, smoothing down my skirt as I walked up to Nate’s door. As I knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer, I realised that I’d never come back here again. Austin had taken things too far this time. I heard footsteps from behind the door and my stomach turned in knots. I felt like I was going to be sick. The door opened to reveal a middle aged woman dressed in very chic clothes, looking at me with a perplexed expression.

“Hello, can I help you?” The woman said in a posh accent. I assumed that it was Nate’s mom and clearly she had no clue who I actually was. I also probably looked like a mess, which explained the expression on her face.

“I’m Megan, and I’m here to see Austin?” I stuttered, making it sound like a question even though it wasn’t. Nate’s mom smiled politely.

“We were actually just in the middle of something-“

“Please, it’s really urgent,” I said, wanting to get this over and done with.

“Right, give me a minute, I’ll go and get him.”

“Thank you,” I breathed before she shut the door behind her. I’d expected her to invite me in, assuming that she didn’t mind strangers in her house considering the amount of crazy parties that Nate had. Maybe whatever they doing inside was private business and she was adamant to keep it that way.

“Megan.” Austin’s voice ripped me out of my thoughts as he appeared in front of me, a pissed off expression on his face. “What are you doing here?” His voice was indifferent, as if he hadn’t just ruined my life.

“I’m here to ask you why you did it,” I snapped.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he hissed as he closed the door behind him, taking a step towards me. I took a step back. I didn’t want Austin near me or touching me. His presence and his touch had distracted me and prevented me from seeing the real him.

“Just tell the truth for once in your life!” I exclaimed, my voice climbing higher as I grew more and more annoyed. “Why would you do this to me?” I held up my phone, the screen displaying the message with my pictures. Austin blinked, confused, before his eyes narrowed.

“Megan, you know I wouldn’t do that,” he said slowly, his hand reaching out to grab mine. I pulled it away quickly and I saw the hurt flash across his face.

“I thought you wouldn’t,” I was sobbing now, “you’re the only one who had the pictures. I trusted you Austin!”

“So trust that I didn’t do it!” I shook my head as if I could banish his voice from my ears. He was so adamant to seem like the good guy that he couldn’t even come out and say it.

“Why should I trust you after everything you’ve done to me?” I said, hitting him where I knew it would hurt. Austin growled and I could see the tension in his arms and shoulders.

“I’ve apologised and tried to make it up to you, but it’s nice to know that my efforts aren’t appreciated,” Austin said, his voice cold as ice. I was crying uncontrollably now, even though I felt embarrassed to be losing my cool, the feeling wasn’t enough to stop the tears from falling.

“You’ve ruined my life, how am I supposed to go back to school?” I said through tears. “You can just waltz back in and everything’s fine for you!” The words were coming out quicker than I could keep up with, but my insides felt like they were going to explode.

“I’ve ruined your life?” Austin said bitterly, his eyes glaring at me with more disdain than I ever thought possible. “I’m running around trying to find lawyers to help me put my shitty stepdad in jail! I had to leave my home, I don’t know where the fuck my mom is but it’s your life that’s ruined?”

Austin was shaking with anger now as if he wanted to hit something. I paused, taken aback by this new information. He hadn’t told me what was going on with his mom, he‘d just implied that she was busy or something. Even though I was furious with him and still upset, I felt bad that I hadn’t realised he was going through even more than he’d been letting on.

“Austin, I didn’t know-”

“Of course you didn’t, Meg! You’re so wrapped up in your perfect life, worried about getting perfect grades. Worried about stupid pictures while some of us have real problems,” Austin spat, disarming me with every word that came out of his mouth. I narrowed my eyes at him. He was being unnecessarily rude. Just because things were more extreme for him, it didn’t mean that my worries didn’t matter.

“It’s nice to know that you think my problems are stupid,” I said with as much venom in my voice as I could muster. “At least you’re not going to be one of them anymore.”

Me and Austin stared at each other, our faces contorted with sadness and anger. Even after all the words we’d exchanged, a small part of me hoped that he’d apologise, he’d take back what he’d said, ask us to start over and talk it out.

“Thank fuck for that, then,” Austin snarled before he turned around and walked to the house, slamming the door behind him. I was left standing alone in Nate’s front garden, my heart splintering into a million pieces as I wondered what I’d done to deserve all of this.