Breach of Honor by Naomi Porter

57 Miranda

LAST NIGHT, Lily hadn’t questioned me on the way to her apartment. She had only taken care of me. I loved her for it.

The sun peeked through the sheer curtains covering the patio doors. As much as I wished last night had just been the worst, world-record-breaking nightmare ever… it was not.

Unfortunately, it’d been a real ongoing nightmare that began months ago.

Here I’d thought Will and I were sailing along in a gentle sea with blue skies above us. Had I paid closer attention, I would have seen the dark clouds off in the distance, strengthening into a mighty storm that would be the hurricane of the century.

Its name: Jason Sayton.

I remembered Jason cruising into town one sunny June afternoon, smack dab in the middle of the busiest time of year for me with weddings every weekend, sometimes multiples a week. I was rarely around physically, much less mentally.

I’d wanted to give Jason the benefit of all my doubts. After all, he was Will’s closest friend. Then July had arrived. Jason still wasn’t working full time, and like a kid, he’d guilted Will into entertaining him. If I could go back to the beginning, to when Jason had first arrived, I’d change a great many things.

But that was neither here nor there.

Will had changed seemingly overnight.

My head spun from everything I had missed. Jason Sayton, the man whose surname fitted him to a T, had managed to steer us off course with his massive waves.

As I reflected now, in the early morning sun, I questioned my sanity for staying with Will and giving him chance after chance.

What else was I to do when Will had begged me to stay and I was pregnant?

Seeing Will with Cori last night had broken me. I’d known about her for months, but now I had a face in my head when I imagined him making love to her.

How weak and pathetic was I?

I should have dumped his ass months ago, as Lily and Tate had urged. I didn’t because I loved him, but this person he’d become wasn’t my Will. I didn’t know who he was.

After he destroyed me in front of hundreds of people, I still couldn’t walk away, even when my heart had stopped beating and all the air had left my lungs.

Fucking pathetic.

If I could just wake up from this nightmare, then maybe the truth would be revealed.

For some reason unbeknownst to me, I believed Jason was the link to all the bullshit that had entered Will’s and my life. I just didn’t have any way to prove it, but then it wasn’t like Jason had been holding a gun to Will’s head when he’d kissed Cori.

No, Will had freely betrayed me for months. He hadn’t been tricked into cheating. He’d changed all on his own. Maybe Jason had influenced him, but what were we, in middle school? Maybe Jason’s womanizing ways had rubbed off on Will?

Whatever the answers were, I didn’t care anymore. Public humiliation and the gutting pain I’d felt seeing Will with Cori had been the final straw. I could leave him now, once and for all, except I couldn’t help but wonder if we’d get back to normal if Jason wasn’t around.

Jesus Miranda, stop!

“Good morning, sunshine,” Lily chirped, startling me out of my reverie.

“Morning.” I reached for my phone on the coffee table, but Lily grabbed it before me.

“No. Don’t check your messages. We need to talk first.”

“I’m not in the mood for talking. Now give me my phone, please. Tessa always texts me the morning of a wedding.” I held my hand out weakly. I didn’t want to argue with Lily. I needed to reserve my strength to face Will.

“Ha! Liar. You want to see if Will texted you, not if Tessa did.” Lily shook her head, one hand on her hip, the other pressing my phone against her breast. “No, you aren’t getting your phone back until we talk about last night. Jesus, Miranda, I waited and waited for you to return from the bathroom. After fifteen minutes, I worried something had happened to you.” Her eyes turned glossy. If Lily cried, I would lose it. “When I didn’t find you in the bathroom, I freaked out. I searched for our waiter, which was not easy to do in that place. I bet you didn’t know the layout is like an H with the kitchen between both sections.”

“No, I didn’t.” I could imagine searching for anyone in Charlie’s would be quite the undertaking. The mere fact I’d run into Cori in the bathroom when I had was a miracle. Or maybe a curse.

“Thank God our waiter had seen you, or I’d have called the police. He showed me where you were talking to ‘a group of friends.’ Friends,” she scoffed. “That asshole was with the other woman, out in public for the whole world to see. And you had found them! How? They were in a totally different area than us.”

“I was in a stall when I overheard Cori and the blonde talking about how Billy was the best fuck she’d ever had.” An image of Will screwing the redhead flashed in my head. I took a deep breath, hoping I didn’t need to run to the bathroom. “So… I listened in on their convo and learned Billy was my Will. After that, I followed them out.” The words disgusted me as I retold the story.

“If you could have seen yourself… You looked so devastated.”

“I am devastated.” I swallowed back my emotions. Crying was the fastest way to send Lily over the edge.

“You need to end it with him. I’ll help you move out of his place.” Lily sat down next to me, covering my knee with her hand. “You can move back in with me. It’ll be like old times. Just you, me, and Netflix. And all the pie you can eat!” She grinned, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Sounds like you have this all figured out, but it’s not that—”

“Don’t say ‘it’s not that easy.’ I’m tired of hearing it. It is easy, and I’ll help you.”

How could I tell my best friend I was pregnant?

Maybe it wasn’t the right time. My world had just imploded at Charlie’s Lounge, where hundreds of people had observed the destruction. Worse yet, the slut with the crimson lips and hair, who said my Will “loved her on her knees” had a vile smirk.

Was that the reason Will cheated on me? For a blow job?

Perhaps my head wasn’t in the right place to make decisions that could affect my life, like telling Lily about the baby.

But here I was with a decision to make as Lily eyed me impatiently. I braced myself, hoping she would understand and support me no matter what.

“It’s not that easy because I’m…” I stopped before the P-word left my lips. Not once had I said it out loud.

Lily gasped; it was in her eyes. I didn’t have to tell her.

“You’re pregnant.” Her words hung in the air, floating between us. The gravity of everything that had transpired over the last several months came to a head. A baby. A tiny, innocent human. Will’s and my baby. A St. James offspring. I didn’t deny it, staring into her stunned, emerald eyes.

At the worst timing ever, my phone buzzed. Will’s handsome face appeared on the screen. I reached for it, but Lily beat me to it.

“You’re not talking to him until we figure out what you’re going to do.”

“I’m sure he’s worried.”

“I don’t give a shit if he’s worried. The way he’s treated you is wrong. Don’t you see that?”

“Yes.” My lip quivered as Lily’s eyes darkened. “But I’m pregnant. If I wasn’t, I would’ve left him when that picture was plastered everywhere.”

“Wait! How far along are you?”

“Eight weeks on Monday.”

“Eight weeks?”

“It happened just before his birthday. I’d missed my scheduled appointment for the shot. I should have never stopped taking the pill,” I grumbled, then immediately felt guilty. If I’d stayed on the pill, I wouldn’t have my baby growing inside me. “The night I was going to tell him, he didn’t come home. Then the next day, the picture came out. I panicked. I was afraid to tell anyone. He’d promised it wouldn’t happen again, and I wanted to believe him. I didn’t know what to do. I still don’t know what to do.”

“Holy shit!” Lily jumped off the sofa and paced.

“We don’t have time for this right now. The Colby-Asher wedding is in five hours, and we need to be at the country club by ten. I need to go home. Nothing of yours fits me.”

“You can’t go home! Well, not alone, at least.” She stared at me for a long beat. Unnerved, I looked away. “You don’t look pregnant.”

I turned back as she continued to study my stomach.

“No morning sickness?”

“Just a little. It’s why I really gave up coffee, not because I was trying to reduce my caffeine intake. I read it can take longer ‘to show’ with your first baby. I’m sort of glad I’m not showing, all things considered.”

“And Will doesn’t have a clue?”

“No clue. Or at least I don’t think he does. The last time we made love, he enjoyed my breasts more than usual, and my orgasms were off the charts.” I fanned myself, remembering that night.

Lily glared unamused.

“What can I say? These pregnancy hormones have been awesome for my sex life.”

“What do you want to happen?” Lily asked in her no-time-for-bullshit tone.

“I want to be with Will. I want it all with him.”

“With a cheater? You know the saying—”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I waved her off. “That’s why I haven’t told him. I wanted him to stop the affair on his own. I wanted him to choose me because he wants me, not out of obligation. That would be like trapping him and then he’d cheat on me forever.”

“Just break up with the bastard, and we’ll raise the baby together! I’ve wanted a baby for years. Now I can have one with you. We can co-parent!” Her eyes danced around the room, considering the possibilities. I had to admit it, she would be an awesome mother and partner, but I couldn’t go there right now.

“Can I please have my phone?” I arched my brow. I wasn’t playing her games anymore. She handed it to me, then scooted closer while I checked my messages; three were from Will.

Will:Baby, I’m sorry. Please come home so we can talk.

Will: Please don’t ignore me. It’s not how it looks. Call me.

Will: It’s 2 in the fucking morning. Are you coming home or not?

“Wow, charming.” Lily scoffed.

“Stop it. He’s hurting. He always drops F-bombs when he’s stressed.”

Lily sighed. “Just play the voice message.”

I put it on speaker and pushed play: I’m sorry I hurt you. Please come home or call me so we can talk. I love you, Miranda. You’re mine, and I’m yours. Don’t you ever forget it.

Just hearing the grief in his voice ripped me in two.

“I love how he didn’t mention Cori. What does he want, an open relationship?”

I rolled my eyes.

Lily stood and walked into the kitchen. “I’m serious about raising the baby with you.”

“That would never be allowed.”

“Why not?” She walked out, peeling a banana.

“We don’t have time for this conversation.”

“Okay. After the wedding, we’re talking about everything.”

“Fine.”