Chalk by Lily J. Adams

Chapter Nine: Rekindle The Fire

 

Chalk

 

Wow. The rest of the hospital visit turned into a blur, and the hollow words from Angie echoed in my mind without sinking in. The woman I once loved was back in my life, and she was front and center in Holbeck. I wanted to be angry, but when I saw her, the spark was back in her hazel eyes. She chased her dreams and was back on track in life.

I was distracted now to say the least. It was as if Lucy and I had been wrapped up in this bubble together and it was just me and her talking. Deeper. More meaningful. All the pressures and all the resentment that dogged me from having to take care of so much lifted when I saw her.

She left our conversation in a hurry, while I was still processing my shock.

“What was that about?” Angie asked as we walked to the patient’s room.

“Ah, that is my child’s mother, Lucinda. She was sick for a long time and now she’s back. It’s – ah, interesting.” Angie was the last person I wanted to discuss this with really. Hell, I didn’t know what to tell her anyway. As we walked down the corridor I wondered if it was because my heart was still attached to Lucy.

“Yikes. That’s why she was acting all weird,” Angie said dismissively without any regard.

“Yeah, I guess.” I kept my answer vague, as I didn’t want to discuss it. I wanted to keep my thoughts private until I sorted out how I really felt about it. The whole hospital visit was me tagging along with Angie, and after the meeting with Lucy, I didn’t register much of the visit.

By the time I got back home, my head was in a tailspin. I had to sit down until I collected all the fragments of my scattered thoughts. At one time, I was head over heels in love with Lucy. We had a great chemistry. She wanted to be a nurse and I offered several times to help her through school. Then she started to have issues. But they got worse after she gave birth our daughter. At first, I thought it was that stage women went through after having a baby. This was what her doctor had said at the time.

Then she got medication and seemed fine for a long while. But it didn’t last. Finally, in the end, she went back to live with her parents. After a time, she seemed more and more like herself over the phone but we remained strangers really, as we couldn’t even think about or talk about any future together.

Sarah poked out her little stomach, standing with her hands on her hips. “Dad, you’re putting holes in the carpet!” She giggled.

I hadn’t even noticed I was picking at the floor restlessly. “I know. I’m just a little tired, but I’ll be okay. Don’t worry.” I ruffled her hair and tried to have a normal conversation with her about her school day. The conversation was the same as when I tried to talk to Angie. I remained distracted, and her voice sounded as if it was muffled.

She tried to get me to sit down with her and watch a show, but I was still moving around and didn’t sleep much that night. My life had just changed in a flash. Memories of us together swamped my brain. I couldn’t make them stop. I remembered her smile and her laugh mostly. Maybe it was selective memory as during the last stretch of time we had together, there were no smiles or laughter between us.

In the morning, I summoned the courage to call Lucy. I called her early because I wanted to catch her before she started her shift.

I ate my piece of toast and called her on my cell phone. “Hi, it’s Chalk. I know it’s early, but I thought you might be on early shift at the hospital. I wanted to see when you’re free…” I was torn. I didn’t want Sarah getting her hopes up about her mother, only for her to be let down again. Damn though,she looked good. Like the woman I knew all those years ago.

“I’m free this weekend. Does that work for you both? Don’t worry about calling early. I’m up at six these days,” she said, chuckling.

I paused at the sound, it was the same as in my dreams the night before. I shook it off. “Wow, you are? You’re doing so well. What made the difference? You were so… sick,” I ventured, not wanting to make it seem like she was incapable. My skepticism was high though after all these years.

The easy sigh on the other end of the line let me know she was in a good place.

“Being by the sea, the doctors out there. Being with my parents. All of it contributed I think. I rested and slept a lot. I feel like I slept my life away actually. I’m so happy to have my energy back and be doing what I wanted to do all along. It won’t happen again,” she claimed confidently.

“Happy to hear,” I said hesitantly. I didn’t know yet if she was telling me the truth. “How about we go for a picnic or something like that? Something outside?”

“Perfect. Sounds good.”

The rest of the week – only two days – were agonizing for me. I decided to leave it as a surprise for Sarah. If I told her early, she would have been buzzing and not able to concentrate at school. I knew my daughter.

When the day finally arrived and Lucy stood at my door, my heart almost went into shutdown mode and I had to shake myself into speaking, “Uh – um, hi. I see you’ve got some things there.” I sounded insecure and lacking confidence, but that wasn’t me. Most of the time I was an easy-going guy, but Lucy made me nervous. I felt like some teen in front of my crush. I kept mentally kicking myself. This is the woman you had a kid with. Get it together.

Her hair hung in soft dark waves around her face. Dressed casually in an olive green ribbed t-shirt, jeans and cute sandals. Her face lit up with a devastating smile.

I simply did nothing but stare. Damn, she was so beautiful, a little older but even better looking than she had been. She had filled out too. None of that skinny look was left. She was stunning really. I felt a slight shove from behind my hip.

“Dad, who’s at the door!” Sarah asked.

Little hands pressed into my back, pushing me forward. I had to laugh and dig them out of my back. “Well, it’s part of the surprise I have—” I didn’t get far; she shoved my leg out of the way.

With a gasp, Sarah jumped forward with excitement. “Mom! I can’t believe it. You’re here.” Sarah ran at her mother like a bullet train and wrapped her arms around her mother’s waist.

I heard the sniffling, so I assumed she was crying.

“Oh, honey, are you crying? It’s okay. I’m here. I’m here now,” Lucy said in a soothing voice.

I knew it might be emotional for Sarah, but I didn’t know it would be emotional for me too.

Lucy bobbed down to the level of her daughter and wrapped her arms around her.

I had to turn away for a minute because I still felt protective over Sarah.

They hugged for a couple of minutes.

“Mom, are you staying? Are you better now? I don’t want you to be sick anymore.” Sarah poked out her lip and swayed a little bit as Lucy handed her a little soft toy. It looked like a giraffe. Sarah took the soft toy and hugged it to her chest like it was the only thing in the world.

I motioned Lucy in as they talked some more. Mississippi sunlight shone on her silky, dark hair giving me the insatiable urge to caress the loose strands, but all I could do was let my eyes linger a little longer on the renewed beauty that stood before me, casting her luminous glow. I coughed to clear my throat, glad Lucy couldn’t read my mind. “Sarah, you wanna go grab your things, then we can head to the park and you can play for a little bit?”

“Sure thing! Be right back, Mom. I have so much to tell you!”

I smiled slightly at Lucy, stuffing my hands into my jeans stiffly. “She can get a little out of hand sometimes when she gets excited. You’ll see.” My chuckle came out a little strange. I stepped out of the house a little and into the sun, which wasn’t so bad today. Mild for the ‘Sip.

Sarah came back with everything she needed and we walked to the park. She ran ahead to hit up the play equipment as Lucy and I walked side by side.

“How is the club going? Are you still enjoying pool?” Lucy asked with trepidation.

I walked slowly in time beside her. “I love it. Nothing’s changed there. I’ve got this pool competition running and a few good players I’ve been up against. You used to be pretty decent. Still remember the shots I taught you?” I asked quietly.

“Umm. I haven’t played for a while. I'm still a little rusty,” she admitted, biting her lip.

We walked a little further, and my hand swung at the same time hers did – making our little fingers touch. I felt the spark and drew my hand back, but I really wanted to keep it there. “Might have to play a game sometime and bring you back up to speed.” I chuckled lightly as the breeze lightly picked up. I glanced over to the playground.

Sarah was waving at us both. She seemed the happiest she’d been in months.

“Maybe…anything else at the club?”

“Hmm, a few things…we’re looking to acquire the Red Stone Casino and we’re having trouble with the Devil Riders trying to infiltrate our turf.” I took a deep breath as we rounded the corner of the path. “Angie wrote like this exposé on us as a club and it painted us and Red Stone in a pretty bad light. We convinced her to tell the real story of the Rebels from a different angle, so yeah we are working together.” I tried to keep the part about Angie light, but I still noticed the distant look in Lucy’s eyes.

“Wow. Sounds like a lot to handle. I’m so grateful to you for taking care of Sarah. I know Teresa was helping out, but I’m grateful. I know it hasn’t been easy, and we made the decision a long time ago…” She trailed off, chewing her bottom lip, which made her seem more endearing to me.

As she spoke, I felt the guilt seep in for giving her a hard time. She was in front of me now and I could see the result of her healing. I could bear witness to the benefits of her going away. “It was difficult at first, I’m not gonna lie. I wanted to quit some days, but I don’t know…” I confessed. I turned again to look at the beautiful woman standing before me. “You being here now and healthy is what matters. Do you…feel like you have a handle on things?” I didn’t want to make her feel like I was investigating her, but at the same time, I wanted to make sure our daughter wouldn’t get hurt, if Lucy fell into a dark hole again.

She sighed as if talking about it all was a heavy weight to lift. “Yes, I feel good now. I’m not concentrating on what other women look like, just what’s good for me. And yeah, I feel good inside my body now. I’ve had a lot of support on my journey. Holbeck is opening up a whole new chapter for me.” She laughed, and her whole face brightened. She was watching Sarah climb the flying fox with another kid and buzzing across the line to the other end. Her eyes were wistful as we settled on the park bench to watch Sarah.

“You look great, you really do,” I commented as I watched Sarah showing off. “Damn. She’s growing so fast, I’m trying to figure out who took my kid.”

We both broke out into a light chuckle.

“You and me both!” she exclaimed.

Sitting beside her felt like the old days, the days when we used to just enjoy one another’s company and talk about our future plans.

“Mom, come over here! Come on! I want you to go on the flying fox too. It’s so much fun!”

Now that Lucy was here, the tantrums would finally leave. She was back to the fun-loving, goofy kid I loved and adored. Like I assumed, she needed her mother’s touch.

Lucy gave me a pitiful look with her shoulders hunched up as she moved towards her daughter.

I laughed. Yeah, I knew how she felt, playing on children’s swings was quite a challenge.

We stayed at the park for another hour and picnicked together. Sarah ran most of the show for that. I could barely get a word in edgewise, and that was fine by me.

By the time the hour was up, Lucy looked at her watch. “I’m blown away, the time has flown and I have a few things to do this afternoon.”

I agreed. Sarah looked as if she’d had enough playtime and was overdue for a nap. “Okay, we should pack and go, good idea.”

Sarah clutched her mother’s hand as we walked home.

I had a suspicion Sarah would want her mom to come home with us and that it would be the onset of a full-blown tantrum.

When we got to my front door, Lucy handled things with ease. “I don’t want you to be sad that I have to go back to my house today. I want to see you in the next couple of days. I’m going to call you tomorrow and we can decide what to do the next time I see you. Does that sound okay?” she asked sweetly.

I cringed, waiting for the aftermath as Sarah stood beside me.

“I understand, Mom. You have to go to your place to sleep. Call me! You were good on the flying fox, you just need to put your feet up more,” she instructed.

I raised my eyebrows at my new kid. “Look at what we created,” I said softly. I looked Lucy in the eye and felt the electrical current humming between us.

“I know,” she said. “We did good.” She turned to respond to Sarah’s comment, “I’m going to try that next time. Put my feet up. See you both soon.”

“Bye Mom!” Sarah’s little hand flapped as Lucy left.

I took Sarah back inside, feeling the deadness from the wear and tear of domestic life slowly leaving me.

 

 

Wednesday brought another night to play pool and another opportunity to probe this Road Warrior. Having a known enemy on our turf was putting every one of us Rebels on edge at the club. I personally wanted to smash my pool cue over the fucker’s head.

I walked over to the bar and greeted Ink as I grabbed my clipboard, “Hey, Ink. What do you think about how to approach Rocky? What questions should I ask him?”

Ink shrugged his massive shoulders. “I have no idea, to be honest. Maybe let him take the lead on the conversation. Freaky shit that he’s in here and not thinking we wouldn’t background check him. So dumb.”

Just then as if talking about him had magically made him appear, Rocky strode through the door. A beefy looking guy, that was for sure. I could see why they called him Rocky. His sleeves were cut-off as he wore a flannelette shirt and jeans with brown boots like the last time.

I could feel my fury building and I wanted to ram my fist through his face. It took every part of my self discipline to stay calm. “Agreed.” I gritted my teeth and walked over to Rocky. “Hey man, how’s it going, you here for another game?”

“Sort of.”

The thick cord of tension in his voice made me timidly put the clipboard down as I studied the coldness in his eyes. “Sort of? What else did you have in mind?”

He cracked his knuckles as he did the same thing he did the last time we talked. Almost as if he was casing the place. “I’m, ah, looking to settle in with a club. I just got back here and I’m interested in making a life here in Holbeck. You seem to have a nice group of guys here. How would I go about that?”

“Ah, well, we’re pretty strict with new members coming in…let me introduce you to Bones, the club president, a little later and we can see what he thinks.” I swallowed down the hate I felt for this guy. Stringing him along until I thought of some questions that would get him to open up a little more. “You want a drink, Rocky?” I asked in a cool tone.

“Sure, I’ll take a beer. I wanna loosen up before I beat you today,” he joked.

Bones walked our way after talking to Ink. He kept his eyes on Rocky and came straight to him with a strong, powerful stride. “Hey, you must be Rocky, the man of the hour I keep hearing about. Trying to beat Chalk?” Bones was grinning when he spoke. He was buttering Rocky up.

“Hey man. You got a great pool player here at the club, you need someone who can push him.” Rocky’s eyes were dark, but his dusty smile wanted to spell friendship.

Bones mirrored his shady smile right back at him.

I wanted to let Bones in on this guy’s intent right away. “Rocky here was asking about being part of the club. Good you’re here – maybe you can run him through the initiation process?” I tipped my head to Bones as I raised an eyebrow.

Rocky’s face shadowed with confusion. “Initiation? I didn’t know there was one, but I’m down, depending.”

Bones gave Rocky a tight smile. “Step over here and we can talk a little more.”

I left Bones to tackle the next round with the Road Warrior as I headed to the pool table.

Mia and Angie hurried towards me.

Both of them were walking so fast that it was kind of freaking me out. “What’s going on, ladies? You look a little upset.”

Mia’s face looked flushed like she was on the warpath. “I have some news and I need to tell you. Let me get this out before you start the game, so you know potentially what you’re dealing with.” Mia’s eyes were locked on mine and she was dead serious.

“Are you sweating, Mia? Spit it out,” I said, remaining cool as I chalked the end of my pool stick.

“You know how I’m investigating the floating body in the Mississippi river?”

“Yeahhh. I do. And?”

“Rocky over there has his prints on the body. I found out his real name is Alfredo Suarez and he has priors. He was questioned about the murder of the man and let go. You might wanna be careful of this guy and not play with fire,” Mia warned, watching Alfredo closely.

“I agree. He’s off like rotten fish,” Angie threw in.

I shrugged. “Ladies, I’m not a delinquent. I got it. I wouldn’t let him anywhere near anything I have going on outside of here, that’s for sure,” I reasoned, annoyed at their lack of faith in me. I glanced over at Bones and Rocky.

The tension in Bones’ body was evident as Rocky spoke to him. But the Rebel Saints were always able to work things out in the end.

I wasn’t worried.