Perfect Embrace by Kaylee Ryan

Chapter 12

Grayson

Our meal has long since been finished, and we’ve both declined dessert, yet here we sit in this back corner booth of the restaurant, neither of us ready to leave. Tonight has been… incredible. Laken is not only drop-dead gorgeous, but she’s also easy to talk to, kind, smart, funny, and she’s just… a breath of fresh air for me. For all of my nerves tonight, she eased every one of them. As we sit here talking about anything and everything, it’s as if we’ve been close friends for years.

“I guess we should go,” she says, looking around the restaurant. “They probably want to clean up and go home.”

“If we must,” I sigh dramatically, making her laugh. Sliding out of the booth, I offer her my hand, and she takes it without hesitation. The parking lot is pretty empty as we make our way to my truck. I open the door for her, and she climbs inside. Her hair falls over her eyes, and I reach out to tuck it behind her ear, just as I did earlier today. “Laken—” I start but have to stop to swallow hard. This is a big deal for me. “Tonight, thank you for making this so easy. You’re incredible, and if I forget to tell you later, it’s been a long damn time since I’ve felt this… relaxed. That’s all thanks to you.” Before even I realize what I’m doing, I lean in and press a kiss on her cheek. “Buckle up,” I whisper before pulling back and closing her door.

I take my time walking around the front of my truck. Why? Because I want to kiss her. Before I lost my wife, it was only ever her from the time I was sixteen years old. And now… Laken. I can’t explain this pull I feel toward her, but I’ll be damned if I don’t want to explore it. Explore her.

The drive home is much more relaxed than the drive to Billings. Not that it was awkward; we’re just more comfortable with one another after a night of talking about anything and everything. Reaching over the console, I lace her fingers with mine. “Earlier today, I went to the cemetery.” I don’t know why I say it, but it feels good to get that confession out in the open. It’s not like I’m cheating. Hell, this is our first date, but I don’t know. I guess I just need her to know.

Her hand squeezes mine. “I can’t imagine how hard this is for you.”

I want to pull the truck over and kiss the hell out of her. So many women in the past three years have tried to hit on me. They all promise the same thing, let me help you forget about her. That’s what they don’t understand. I never want to forget about Holly. She was my first love. She gave me two little girls who are my world. I never want to forget her, and the understanding in Laken’s words would bring me to my knees if I weren’t already sitting.

“Are you in a hurry to get home?” I ask instead.

“I’m all yours for as long as you want me.” Her words are softly spoken, and I can’t help but wonder if they have a double meaning.

Instead of taking the road that will lead us back to Mason Creek, I turn off to a mountain lookout. I found it one weekend when Ryder and I were hiking. I just want to talk to her some more. I know that the prying eyes of Mason Creek will be all over this date, but I want some more time with her.

“Where are we?” She leans forward in her seat to look out the front window.

“It’s a lookout Ryder and I found on one of our hikes. The view is great during the day. I’ve never been up here at night.” I park the truck, roll down the windows, and turn off the engine. Removing my seat belt, I turn in my seat to face her.

She does the same. Her smile is lit up by the light of the moon filtering in through the truck windows. “The stars are brighter up here.”

I don’t bother looking, not when the view right beside me is better than any star in the sky. “I wanted to tell her about our date.” I carry on with my previous confession. “I know that makes me sound crazy, but it felt like something I needed to do.”

“Not crazy at all. Everyone heals differently. There’s no timeline or handbook for these kinds of things. We all have to do whatever it is that gets us through the day.”

“Not everyone feels that way.”

“How they feel doesn’t matter, Grayson. You and those two little girls are all that matters in this situation. You have to do what you feel is right.”

I squeeze her hand. “This feels right, Laken. I never thought I would be ready to date. I was convinced my daughters were enough, and they are but this—” I lift our joined hands to my lips. “This feels good too.”

“I’m not going to pretend I know what you went through or how you feel. What I can tell you is I will always be open and honest with you. So, here’s my honesty. Tonight has been the best date I’ve ever been on. I enjoy your company, and if you’re willing, I’d love to do it again. With that being said, I’m not rushing you. You take your time and tell me when you’re ready. All I ask is that you tell me when this isn’t what you want any longer. No harm, no foul. I just don’t want to be the girl sitting around waiting for your attention when you no longer want to give it to me.”

“Is that what you want, Laken? You want my attention.” My voice is husky even to my own ears.

“Yes. I also don’t want to take your attention away from your daughters. I know that those little girls come first, and I’m okay with that. However, if there is a weekend you have free and you want to have dinner, I’d like to be considered on the list of people you would call to keep you company.”

“I really want my arms around you right now.”

“Yeah?” she asks, equal parts surprised and interested if I’m reading her tone right.

“Damn console,” I say, making her laugh.

“I think we can fix that.” She turns to face the front window and bends at the waist. A minute later, she lifts her sandals in the air and then tosses them back to the floorboard. She takes it a step further and climbs up on her knees in the seat.

I get the hint at what she’s going to do, and I reach beside me and push the button that makes my seat slide back as far as it will go. I’m a tall guy, so it doesn’t give us much more space, but that doesn’t seem to stop Laken. She climbs, turns with her back to me, and scoots her ass up on the console, and the need to have her in my arms is too strong to wait a second longer. With my hands on her hips, I slide her the rest of the way back until she’s sitting on my lap, her legs propped up on the console.

“That’s better.” She smiles up at me.

I wrap my arms around her in an embrace, holding her close to my chest. I close my eyes and breathe her in. I wait for the panic to hit me that this woman isn’t my wife, but it never comes. There’s a ping of sadness in my heart, but there’s also love for Holly that will forever be there. No matter what my future holds, there’s a piece of my heart that will forever be hers.

Laken snuggles up to me, resting her head on my shoulder, and lets me hold her. I don’t know how, but it’s as if she knows I need this connection. I need intimacy from her, even if it is just an embrace.

“Holly was my first real date. I’d just turned sixteen. I’d been on group things or had my parents take us places, but she was the first woman I ever knocked on her door and escorted her to my truck for a proper date. She was my first, and now there’s you.”

She lifts her head and looks at me. “You don’t have to tell me any of this.”

“I know, and that’s why I want to. You’re different. I wish I could tell you the number of times I’ve been hit on since losing Holly. They all wanted to make me forget.” I pause, letting her ponder my words. “I don’t want to forget, Laken. I also want to live. I want to move forward. I want to love again.”

“Tonight is a good first step,” she says, snuggling back into my chest.

We spend the next two hours talking, our conversation flowing freely just as it did at the restaurant. All the while, I hold her in my arms. I don’t take it further, and she seems to be content to give me whatever it is that I need from her. When she yawns, I know I have to take her home.

“You ready to head home?”

“If you are,” she replies, her voice groggy.

Unable to stop myself, I place a kiss on the top of her head. “Get buckled in, and we’ll head home.” She moves back to the passenger seat and bends over to slide her feet back into her sandals before pulling her seat belt over her chest and smiling at me. “Ready.”

I want to kiss her.

I don’t know if that’s a thing, kissing on the first date. I’m new at this, and the last time I had a first date, I was a horny teenager. Funnily, I don’t feel far off from that now. I guess I should have called Ryder or one of the guys and asked them the protocol. No, that’s not how I roll. I’m going to do what feels right. Open and honest. That’s Laken and that’s me. That’s who we are.

I hold her hand in mine all the way back to Mason Creek. When I pull up behind her building, I shut off the engine. “Stay there,” I tell her, grabbing my keys and climbing out of the truck. I rush to her door.

“You know, you don’t have to open doors for me.”

“You know, if my momma found out I didn’t, she’d kick my ass. And you know damn good and well there are eyes everywhere in this town.” I give her a charming smile, one she playfully rolls those big hazel eyes to.

With my hand on the small of her back, I lead her to the back entrance of her building. The one that I know she owns from a small inheritance left to her from her grandmother. When she opens the door, she holds it open, allowing me to step inside. It’s a small open foyer area. There’s a staircase that leads up to her apartment, and another door that I assume leads into her bookstore.

“Thank you for tonight. It was a lot of fun.” She smiles up at me.

My palm rests against her cheek, and the need to kiss her grows stronger. “Can I kiss you?”

Her answer is to grip my shirt, stand on her tiptoes, and press her soft lips against mine. She falls back to her feet way too soon for my liking, but that’s okay. This is only our first date. Sliding my arm around her waist, I hold her tight against my chest. I could stand here and hold her all night, but I know she’s tired, so I pull back.

“When can we do this again?” I ask. I’m not playing games and waiting however many days some stupid dating protocol calls for. I’ve heard the guys talk about it over the years, and that’s not me.

“When you have the free time, call me.”

“About that. I’m going to need your number.”

She smiles and holds out her hand. I dig my phone out of my back pocket and swipe at the screen, unlocking it before handing it to her. “I have to keep it locked, or the girls will sneak and watch videos every chance they get.”

“I can see them doing that.” She chuckles, handing my phone back to me.

“Thank you, Laken. I enjoyed your company.” I relish holding her in my arms and the feel of her lips pressed to mine.

“It was the best first date.”

“Definitely. Lock up after me.” I lean in and kiss the corner of her mouth. “Night, Laken.”

“Night, Grayson. Drive safe.”

“Always.” I step outside and wait until I hear the lock slide into place before walking back to my truck. The entire drive home, I let the night play on repeat.

The fear, the nerves, the guilt, it’s all disappeared. One night with the gorgeous redhead, and she’s managed to ease them all.