Eliezer’s Ange by Eden Auclair

INTERLUDE

cassiopeia is twenty-four

she is a second-year doctorate in university

F O U R M O N T H S L A T E R

Cassiopeia felt asif she was drowning, idly gracing the kitchen, writing her thesis, and preparing dinner for her and Eliezer—despite her doubts of even seeing him tonight. She felt as though she and Eliezer had fallen apart lately. She felt like she was crumbling, moments away from falling to her knees and crying.

It was always hard to pin you down. And it was only natural for me to hope you’d come around... Luca Fogale’s soft voice floated around the mansion. Her playlist was on shuffle, playing through the vinyl player in the living room, and slowly, the soft, slow songs were wrecking her.

The late weeks were purely hellish—between class and the glasshouse, time with each other became a fine luxury. In the mornings, Cassiopeia would stir from her slumber to find his side of the bed empty and cold—he’d be awake and working in his office in the mansion or he’d have left for the glasshouse.

In the evenings—because Eliezer would tell her ‘I’ll be working late, don’t wait up, just focus on your thesis,’ and she’d merely reply with a crestfallen ‘okay,’—Cassiopeia would arrive home on her own and prepare dinner before dining herself and finishing her night’s work for university and the glasshouse.

Every night, Cassiopeia would lay wide awake in their bed—their? was that even fitting forus, she mulled—letting the vast darkness of the night sky consume her soul as she stared into the sky full of stars and hoped with every fiber inside her, as the amor da sua vida worked wicked hours, he was staring back. And every night, she felt her wishes were in vain as she waited for him to hold her, cuddle her, and love her. (love of her life)

Is it wrong that she missed seeing his soft smile? Is it wrong that she missed his tender, yet lethal touches? Is it wrong that she missed the nights their bodies molded as one under the light of a thousand stars whilst their moans and heavy breaths filled their bedroom? Is it wrong that she missed his glowing sapphire irises staring into hers with such pure ardor? Is it wrong she missed hearing his rich, silky voice as they fell into their hours’ long pillow talks? Is it fucking wrong?

...and I don’t wanna lose you now, or ever. No, I don’t wanna lose you now, or ever…

But by the time he tumbled into bed in the hellish hours of the morning and wrapped his arm delicately around her waist only covered by his shirt, she was far too lost in her dreams to know.

The only promise Cassiopeia had to know Eliezer still loved-

Loved?

Was it, dare she say, love blossoming between them?

Cassiopeia knew she was in love with Eliezer Badeaux, she loved him blindly, the feeling darkening over everything. He had captivated each ounce of the essence of her soul so wholly and utterly, he stole her heart and held it in his palms. She believed their souls had intertwined into a beautiful intricate labyrinth and they existed as one. She believed his every word, falling from his pillowy lips, “our souls are drawn together and your beauty is my damnation. I will carry it to the moon,” and she still does. Because she’s in love.

But the question lingered in her mind, haunting her, spinning like a broken vinyl, softly, slowly shattering her—did Eliezer love her?

If he did, then just how did they get here? So broken to pieces, so ruined.

Cassiopeia felt fresh tears well in her eyes from the thought—loved her? The concept felt otherworldly for her, maybe he had a deep regard for her, but loved her? Inevitably, this was merely a foolish feeling of her hopeless romantic heart.

...we can even sing songs about your past loves at my piano…

And maybe, just maybe, this was Eliezer’s turnpike to letting her go, letting her leave.

“Porra.” Cassiopeia hissed when the knife grazed the flesh of her finger as she diced ingredients for her dish, açorda. Hurriedly, she rinsed her finger under the faucet before seeking a gauze to dress her tiny wound. Jesus Christ, she felt the tears roll down her cheeks. The sight of blood was enough for her to feel lightheaded. (fuck)

“Puta que pariu.” Cassiopeia whimpered as she rose up from the barstool and felt herself about to faint. Inhale and exhale, inhale and exhale, she closed her eyes and breathed.

“Jesus Chr-

“Eliezer.” Cassiopeia shrilly shrieked when she swiveled on her heels and found him standing in front of her, gazing at her quietly. His eyes were dull as he peered at her wound.

“Cassiopeia.” Her name rolled off his tongue smoothly and Cassiopeia felt an ache budding inside her. The two hardly spoke lately and Cassiopeia suddenly felt lost—what was there to say? His eyes traced over her every curve of her body and felt love erupt in his veins like stardust. My beautiful ange, what happened? Forgive me please for neglecting you lately, please let me care for you, let me love you again.

Cassiopeia? What happened to ange?Thorns prickled at her heart as her stare faltered and her eyebrows knitted closely together. She knew her thoughts were drowning her, but she couldn’t stop the emotions rushing through her body.

“Hello,” she said softly, staring wide-eyed like a deer caught in headlights.

“Hello,” he said quietly, his eyes falling upon her hand on her stomach before flickering to her pain-filled eyes, and his eyes crinkled in confusion. Entering the kitchen and finding her stilled him in surprise—half expecting her to be focused solely on her dissertation or with Niccolò writing, half expecting her to be laying in bed, eyes fluttering softly.

“I made dinner.” Cassiopeia said quietly and her eyes fell upon her fuzzy socks. His heart cinched in his chest painfully as he heard the longing and the desperation in her soft voice.

Bébé, please look at me, he wanted to fall to his knees and beg. What happened to us, where did we fall apart? Tell me, I want to fix us, I want to mend us, I want to love you.

“Will you eat with me?” Her faint voice trembled. Where did my bold and striking ange slip away to? Eliezer felt himself ripping at the seams, the desolation shining in her irises made him feel like the grandest bastard, undeserving of her love—he wanted to scream because there was a clear-cut abyss between them; Cassiopeia shouldn’t ever have to ask. Yes, darling, yes every morning, every night, every time for the rest of our lives.

“Yes, Cassiopeia,” he replied just as faintly, holding her broken gaze.

Standing just mere feet apart, he felt as though they were existing on two different planets meanwhile she felt reminded of the nights spent on the rooftop stargazing the hush of the night sky as he nestled her body in his—she felt like they were merely stars, just freckles, coexisting as their own planets, just isolated islands, lonelier from afar, lonelier with each gaping second between them; they needed a moonlight tryst to salvage their love from utter destruction, from falling out of love.

Cassiopeia nodded softly, swirling around to set two plates for her and Eliezer. Feeling his burning gaze raking her body, tears clouded her eyes—does he still desire me? Is he tired of me?

Too lost in her mind, Cassiopeia gasped as she felt his chest align with her back, caging her between his body and counter as she rinsed her hands under the tap. His hands brushed against hers as he rinsed his hands too and Cassiopeia felt the sparks erupt from their touches, the butterflies fluttering in her stomach, reminding her of every time they touched—just like the very first time.

His lips softly pressing against the flesh of her neck tore her from her reminiscing and elicited a shiver through her body. She bit her lip, hard enough to taste blood as he stepped back, drying his hand on his towelette. Gosh, everything hurts, a voice drowned out in her mind as she closed the tap and braced herself harshly against the counter. A tear streaked down her cheeks and she knew tonight, tonight she was falling apart wholly.

“Cassiopeia?” Eliezer called softly when she stayed frozen at the sink, hands grasping the edge of the counters, shoulders shuddering, and head slowly shaking. In a split second, she swiveled on her heels and his eyes widened seeing her face tear-streaked and eyebrows scrunched and lips parted in a frown.

“I’m sorry you have to see your personal assistant in such a vulnerable mess,” she uttered the words, running a hand through her chocolate hair and pulling away stray strands from her face.

“Cassiopeia.” He breathed, his expression crestfallen.

“D-Don’t.” She cried when he held out a hand for her. Pain danced in his translucent irises as he let his hand fall to his side and silently gazed at her, his Adam’s apple bobbing nervously.

“Everything hurts, Eliezer, I miss you,” she whimpered.

Wake up, stay with me. Through the flood and through the fear... Nilu’s voice filled the mansion so achingly, Cassiopeia couldn’t stop the small gasp leaving her lips from justhow fitting her song was for her and Eliezer.

“I miss you too, Cassiopeia,” he rasped. Her heart fluttered from the endearment she missed dearly. Her brows crinkled as she slowly shook her head, as if she wanted so desperately to believe his words, but couldn’t fathom them.

“I feel like you’ve forgotten me.” She cried helplessly, and a moment later, a gut-wrenching sob tore through her and her hands rushed up to cover her face as she leaned against the cupboard.

“I’m sorry,” slipped past her lips as her guilty eyes met his worried and pain-filled irises. She felt so selfish, she sounded so wrapped in herself asking for his attention and she hated it, she knew, Eliezer knew. But she couldn’t halt her feelings and Eliezer hated himself for making her feel so broken. Her body craved his touches, her lips missed his, her heart missed his.

“Please don’t apologize, not to me,” he begged; he didn’t deserve that from her.

“Eliezer,” her lips quivered, “my body hurts, my heart aches, burns,” she rasped weakly, the truth behind her words shining in clear-cut clarity in her irises and Eliezer felt himself drowning. The late nights in the office, giving her tons of work and manuscripts though she had work from her lectures to do too. Eliezer couldn’t remember once when she ever complained about everything she had to do. Meanwhile, he was in his carrel, utterly focused on the company and something for her while forgetting to care for her…

“And I miss our time together once my time of the month came when you’d hold me and care for me. You’d stop me from doing work because of my pain and migraines, despite how dull my aches would be, I miss that. We’d take baths together, you’d wash me down, and you’d rub me down at night and cuddle me to sleep, we haven’t done that in forever. The last two months have felt like forever.” She rubbed her eyes tiredly. Eliezer silently cursed himself for becoming too absorbed in the company, not knowing what was happening in his ange’slife lately.

...but here she finally was, reaching her breaking point from being forgotten, from the stress and sheer exhaustion from work and university.

And it was destroying her.

...cause I’m starting to think. That I never actually had you…

God, I am such a fucking bastard.

“Cassiopeia,” he whispered, words in every language failing him.

“Cassiopeia? Am I not your ange anymore?” She cried miserably and he faltered, slightly stumbling back before his emotions turned stone cold. Eliezer’s jaw clenched. She was giving him a ton of shit—and rightfully so—for neglecting her lately, to get his attention tonight.

Then she certainly had it.

And Eliezer would be damned if he let tonight end without her knowing she had him on his knees for her to fix their shattered pieces. He would beg from the rooftops in the night sky for her divine absolution.

But he couldn’t stop the streak of anger rushing through him from her giving him shit. He wanted to apologize to her profusely whilst fucking her pretty little mouth quietly and into succumbing to him.

Tonight though was for reigniting the smoldering flames of their love, keeping the sparks of their tender love alive.

“Cassiopeia,” he said dangerously low, his voice warning her. He felt his patience slowly running out and he knew his ange and him weren’t going to waltz into the vast dark of tonight unscathed.

“Tell me!” Cassiopeia screamed shrilly.

...are you with me? Are you in or are you out…

His eyes glowered. “You will always be my ange, mine, fucking mine.” His baritone voice bellowed.

We were going to shatter each other’s hearts into chaos first before sharing an umbrella and inhaling the storm together and heal.

“Even Starlie and Niccolò wonder what’s wrong with us,” she said defeatedly, “we’re broken, Eliezer,” she finished quietly. His heart clenched. Their friends didn’t dare come between Cassiopeia and Eliezer, but as close-knitted as they were, even they couldn’t tell what was wrong. The two were simply at a loss, left asking the same question Cassiopeia and Eliezer were—how did we?

“Eliezer, you’re so wrapped up in your work, you’ve forgotten about me.” She cried fresh tears, feeling wholly and utterly weak.

“Cassiopeia,” his voice broke, “that’s not true.” But he couldn’t lie, he was forgetting his amour, neglecting the ange taking up residence in his heart. He didn’t want to accept the simple truth—he didn’t deserve her, not when he always reminded her no work was more prominent than him, and yet here he was, neglecting her because of his work.

“Yes, it is!” She screamed. “I can’t think of why else, why else we’ve fallen apart, I’m going out of my mind.” She cried hysterically, breathing erratically. Rage danced with the pain and hurt inside him for she was pushing his buttons past what he everknew.

Eliezer called her name painstakingly as he shook his head, baffled. The sprinkling of gut-wrenching emotions rushing through his body in the evening swirled within him on repeat as night fell. Her eyes glistened as she stood—and slowly crumbled—mere feet away from him and even though tears still streamed down her cheeks, he still felt as though he couldn’t touch her, hold her. The past two months had left them in a deep chasm and Eliezer faltered for a white lie. Simply because there was no excuse, no lie to tell her—work was just a whirl of feverish rush, especially when he was trying to surprise her.

Her softly parted lips quivered as she shook her head slowly to reign in her endless tears. Eliezer stared quietly, lost in his thoughts of why the stars in their universes were shifting apart. He felt broken as he gazed at the girl he loved dearly in front of him, shattering, feeling his heartstrings tug, glass slice through his heart and fragmenting the organ, and his soul fracturing.

In a split second, she nearly crumbled to the ground gasping, her breath halting in her throat as a painful ache in her stomach enveloped her and she whimpered. Eliezer rushed to her but immediately shied away when she lifted her head and glared at him.

“Everything hurts, Eliezer.” The sob finally escaping her was blood-curdling. “Where have you been? I miss you.” Eliezer felt his breath stolen—for Cassiopeia repeating the words she said earlier at this moment was bruising him beyond repair. Every feeling, emotion, everything intensified at this moment.

...don’t give up, not yet. No matter how hard this gets…

“...your arms holding me, your body becoming one with mine, I need you,” she selfishly said. “I just want my Eliezer back,” she cried feebly. “My body aches and my heart feels so empty. I miss us.” Her hand grasped the counter as her other clutched her stomach. Her every word was a knife twisting deeper and deeper in his scarred heart, hurting wickedly more than any physical blow could. He met her teary stare with hard eyes of his own and Cassiopeia faltered.

“Cassiopeia,this...” hisvoice finally broke. He felt tired of himself. He was becoming the epitome of ruination tonight, regretting every unruly word slipping past his lips unstoppably. He hated that he was doing the one thing a man does when he loves a woman—hurt her.

“Fuck, I can’t do this anymore,” he whispered, closing his eyes and she gasped.

Fucking hell, did I really just say that?

“Is there another woman?” She asked quietly, the ghost of her words fell past her lips faintly. his eyes widened in surprise as the dark ring surrounding his irises glowed angrily.

...are you with me? Are you drifting through the doubt…

“Jesus Christ, Cassiopeia,” he suddenly sneered and her eyes widened, “is that really what you think of-”

“I don’t know what to think.” Her ear-piercing scream echoed through their home.

“I can’t-

“Cassiopeia, I…” His words died on his lips and he shook his head frantically as he stared into her eyes glossing over, her lips curving into a small ‘o.’

I’ve ruined her.

“You don’t want me anymore.” She sobbed, taking off into one of the empty guest bedrooms of the mansion.

“I always do, Cassiopeia, I always fucking will.

“I will never let you go.” His voice bellowed through their home as he chased her.

P A R T O N E F I N