Jax by E. M. Moore
11
His words reverberate around me as he pushes inside. His hard strokes are unlike the last time we had sex but I can’t help but be engrossed in this new Jax. Over the years, darkness has beckoned me into its depth, and I’ve thrived there. “Oh god yes,” he growls, hips slamming into me. He moves me up the floor, following after me until he wraps his arm around my back and over my shoulder to pin me in place.
I gasp as he digs his hands into my bruises, but it quickly turns into a moan.
“Don’t talk,” he rasps.
I snap my mouth shut, meeting him stroke for stroke. Pleasure overtakes the pain I’m in. Our loud breaths mix as we seek out joint pleasure. My mouth falls open as he hits the perfect spot inside. “Oh fuck. Yes, Jax.”
He stumbles, losing his rhythm. “Don’t,” he growls out a warning.
I’m so fucked up that it turns me on even more. He returns to his pace, and I let out a breath, not caring when it ends in a long moan as my orgasm rushes to the surface. An uninhibited, needed pleasure breaks loose, and I cry out, “Jax, yes!”
He shudders as my pussy grips him. He slams his fist into the floor next to my head, and I cringe away from it. The overwhelming laps of pure bliss overshadow his anger. The feel of his thick cock inside me as I spasm around him prolongs my climax even when he stares at me like he could kill me.
“That pleasure was mine,” he scolds harshly. He’s completely stopped. He doesn’t moan. He doesn’t breathe hard. The loathing in his stare makes me shrivel. Then, all at once, he drives forward again. All memories of my sweet Jax are gone. He drives into me so hard I’m thrown back to nights with Psycho. I grip his forearms but it only spurs him on. “Yes. Good girl, Kelly,” he emphasizes. “Sweet cunt. Yes.”
I stiffen as the name of another girl passes his lips while he enters me. He moans Kelly again and again as I lay there until he shivers, pulling out at the last second to catch his cum in his hand.
When he’s finished, he backs away, tearing the shirt off his back and using it to wipe his hands. Tossing it to the side, he pulls his pants up, stands, and walks up the stairs, leaving me on the floor still sore and alone. His callous, emotionless state freezes me in a state of shock-filled horror.
He disappears from view, and I double over from the pain that no amount of pills can touch. The tears that gathered when I realized he wasn’t even thinking about me, fall. They slip down my cheeks until I’m sobbing to ease the ache in my chest. I place my hand between my breasts, feeling the physical agony right beneath the surface. It’s palpable. Tangible. And it’s not going away any time soon. I pull myself onto the couch and curl up in a ball as I let it all out.
Why does this hurt worse than the beating Psycho gave me?
I stay awake the rest of the night, replaying that moment in my head. It’s hard to get mad at Jax because I did that to him. I’ve turned him into every other guy. Worse is that I know I deserve it.
I watch for the early sun to shine through the windows. As soon as I see it, I pull on my shitty clothes, keep the Elite Boxing shirt, and let myself out the door. I shiver at the temperature drop and start the long walk back to the Flats. With no money, I can’t even hop on the bus. I guess if I have to hoof it, there go all those new nutrients the hospital IV’d into me last night.
An hour and a half later, the storage facility comes into view. I kept the shirt to prove to Psycho I was at their house. That I did something with them. But I hesitate to go in. What kind of mood will he be in? Will he continue what he started last night? Will he pester me with questions about Jax until I breakdown? I don’t have any information for him. I don’t want to get any information for him. Jax has changed because of me. I did that to him.
I move past the streetlight and trek through the overgrown grass on the side of the street until I hear my name being called behind me. I spin to find Jax marching toward me, his face an expressionless mask. I stumble backward, my heart in my throat. “What...what are you doing here?”
“Get your fucking ass over here.” He points beside him, his hand shaking.
“What? Why?”
He barrels toward me. The sunkenness of his eyes tells me he probably didn’t sleep either. “You walk back into my life and slink right back out? No. No, that’s not what’s happening here. Your little friend, Psycho, lives here, huh? The one who can’t keep his hands off a woman. Real classy, Sadie.”
I shush him. The angrier he becomes, the louder he gets. Psycho is bound to hear him and come out to protect his territory.
“You think I give a shit if he hears me? What the fuck is wrong with you, Sadie? You got Leenie all upset. You—”
“What’s wrong with me?” I spit back. “You say you want to fuck me and then call me by another girl’s name.”
The corner of Jax’s mouth curves up in a way I’d only ever seen Psycho do before. “Did that bother you? Did you think I was going to fall at your feet when you deemed me worthy enough?”
I push him, hands flat against his chest but he doesn’t go anywhere. It’s like trying to uproot a goddamn tree. “You were always worthy enough.”
“You have a funny way of showing it. But you know what I’m going to show you? How much better my life is than yours. Leenie wants you at the house because she thinks you’re going to get yourself killed. I think you need a taste of your own medicine. You can’t have me, even when I’m right there. I felt how wet I got you. How much you wanted it. How much it affected you when I said someone else’s name. At first I was going to strangle Finn, but now I think he’s right. Welcome back to our house, Sadie. Just know it’ll never be your home.”
He turns, spinning away from me and marches back down the street the way he came. I stare at his back then turn toward the rundown storage facility. Knowing Psycho, he’s probably in bed with the girl he’s grooming as my replacement. I run my hands through my hair and look back at the man who was my life. At this point in time, I don’t know what’s best for my heart but I know what’s best for my well-being.
Jax can break me with his word but he won’t fracture me.
Psycho has a habit of doing both.
What Jax doesn’t realize though is that he’s playing right into Psycho’s plans. He keeps walking because he knows I’ll follow. We’re like a car crash destined to happen. You don’t have this much history with someone and expect things to not hurt, expect that your life won’t unravel around them again.
We’re on a one-way trip headed toward a collision that’s been in the making for years.
Without peeking back at the storage facility, I tuck my tail and trail after Jax. It feels right, even if he is breaking me in the process.
I catch up with him when we get to the bus stop. He doesn’t look at me when I sit next to him. “How did you find me?”
“I know someone who knows someone.”
“Vague.”
“Please enlighten me with why you think you deserve anything more.”
I roll my eyes. “Will all our time together be filled with these verbal jabs? If so, I can’t freaking wait,” I say dryly.
We’re quiet for a few minutes. My body aches something fierce. My limbs are dead from the walk but it’s my head that’s pounding, and my cheek still stings to the touch.
“You were really living in that shithole?”
“It’s not much of a living but yes.”
He shakes his head. “I was ready to give you the world, Sadie. Everything I have, it could’ve been yours.”
I bite my lip when it trembles. When I’d heard Jax and Finn were doing well, the selfish part of me wanted to reclaim what was mine even though I didn’t deserve it. But the truth is, I would’ve taken Jax without anything. I’d live with him in that storage facility on that shitty mattress because with him, it would all be worth it.
Sometimes, I hate the fact that the first thing I think about is survival. But it’s all I know. It’s all I’ve ever known.
“I know,” I whisper.
He doesn’t say another word. When the bus comes, we take it all the way back into the Heights. We get off at the stop closest to their house, and we walk the couple of blocks to his front door. With one hand on the doorknob, Jax says, “If your boy comes to the fight tonight, things will end very differently.”
With that, he opens the door, and we trek right back into the house. Jax stomps up the stairs, but Leenie darts into the living room from the kitchen, the dog hot on her heels. “Oh good. You’re alive.”
I can’t tell if she’s being serious or not, so I don’t say anything in response.
“I made breakfast but that’s gone bad by now but we have toast or oatmeal. I also have this,” she says, shaking a container of pain reliever in her palms that she grabs from a small table in what used to be the dining room.
“God, I could use one of those.”
“You know what else we have? Frozen waffles. Do you like them? I’ll throw some in the toaster for you. They’re contraband. Jax always looks at me like I’m an alien when I eat them.”
I smirk. Sounds like him. I follow her into the empty kitchen and look around. “Where’s Finn?”
“He had something to do at the gym this morning.”
Now I’m wondering what kind of talk Leenie had with Jax to get him to find me and if Finn was there to witness it or not. A dull ache splinters through my temple. “Jax said something about fights tonight?”
“Every weekend,” Leenie states. She pops the waffles down in the toaster. “Your friends won’t be showing up again, will they? Because we already have that covered with more security.”
“I don’t know what they’re doing,” I lie. Now that I’m here, they’ll be going back to what they always do. Bare knuckle fighting, fucking, and drinking. I highly doubt they’ll show up at the Ring but if they do, I guess I’ll know the situation has changed. More than likely, however, Psycho will give me a lot of leeway before checking in. This is a big job worth a lot of money, so he’ll let me “work my magic”. The next time he sniffs around, though, I’m in trouble. The art of all this is not pushing his limits and beating him to check in. If I do that, and hand over what he wants, then I’ll be fine. If not, then I don’t know what Psycho will cook up.
The waffles pop, and Leenie grabs some tongs to pick them up and put them on a plate. She gestures toward the small table in the corner, and I sit. She places a glass of orange juice next to me along with the pain reliever.
When I’ve thrust the last of the waffle into my mouth, the doorbell rings. She pulls out her phone and hits the lower left of her screen. “Oh, it’s Cole.” She smiles at me. “My brother. Be right back.”
She flits from the room as I place a few pills on my tongue and drink them down with the orange juice. Footsteps approach, and I glance up to find a dude dressed in a black t-shirt with a tattoo poking out of the collar of his shirt and winding up his neck. He has an aura of darkness about him. He nods in my direction. “This her? The girl who’s got Jax all up in knots?”
I scoff. “If you mean wants to strangle, then yes.”
He holds his hand out, and when I grip it, he moves in until he’s speaking directly in my ear, voice low and dangerous. “If your lowlife friends fuck with my sister, I’ll end them.”
My heart skips into my throat. Despite just meeting this guy, I’m pretty sure he means it.
“Cole,” Leenie warns.
Cole steps back and smiles. “Just introducing myself.”
I take a peek at his tattoo more clearly and see the telltale flicker of black flames behind his ear. He’s a Dragon.
Well, I did not see that coming. Jax hates gangs, so this is really freaking interesting.
“What he means to say is that he’s going to help make sure that asshole doesn’t hurt you again.”
Cole shrugs, and I have to chuckle. Typical Heights attitude, clearly. He was probably in the Crew and went Dragon when K was murdered. Smart move, actually, I just can’t believe Jax is letting anyone with a gang affiliation in this house.
Speak of the devil, Jax walks into the room, takes one look at Cole, and rolls his eyes.
“Hey, Cupcake,” Cole greets him.
“Fuck off.”
I press my lips together to keep from laughing. At least I’m not the only one in this house who Jax can’t stand.
