Fail to Love by Maci Dillon

 

You’ve Got To Be Kidding Me

 

“When ideas are confronted with reality, there will always be surprises.” ~ Boyan Slat

 

 

RAVEN

 

My bladder woke me in the darkness of the morning. I patted down the side table, looking for my phone to check the time and saw that a message from Sean came in a few hours ago.

 

Sean:Sorry, work emergency. I’ll call you.

 

Hmm. I have no idea what he does for work, but my guess is, he’s not that interested in catching up at all.

Moaning, I switched the lamp on and crawled out of bed. One step morphed into a stumble as a dizzy spell took hold. By the time I made it to the bathroom, I was head-down-ass-up in the bowl.

Today was my scheduled appointment with Dr. Willis, my OBGYN. I agreed to work the morning shift at the center so I could make it to Brisbane for the last hospital appointment of the day.

When I hit my late teens, I was on track as head cheerleader, all set to compete in the NCA All-Star National Championships when I fell ill. My appendix burst, and I was rushed in for emergency surgery on death’s door due to toxicity in my bloodstream.

During the surgery, a myriad of reproductive issues was uncovered, which resulted in a partial hysterectomy. My recovery time from surgery was extensive with post-operative issues, and the emotional trauma was still something I struggled to come to terms with. 

For a Greek couple who wanted a whole sporting team of children to call their own, my parents were not lucky in this area, either.

Dimitri was seven years older than me. My mother miscarried twice before she had me. Less than two years later, my mom lost twins at thirty-two weeks and almost lost her life. After that, my father refused to try for any more.

Due to my mother’s issues and cancer scares, I’m still required to have a complete check-up each year, which brings me to where I am today. The hormones they have me on often needed to be tweaked due to periods of nausea.

“Raven Gataki, the doctor will see you now.” The nurse greeted me in the waiting room with a smile, and I followed her into the examination room. She showed me where to put my bag and handed me a gown.

“I’ll give you a minute to change.” She stepped outside while I replaced my clothes with the hideous hospital gown that was missing the strap to tie at the back.

I positioned myself on the hard table and stared at the stainless-steel stirrups where my feet would soon be resting.

I fucking hated these visits. It helped that Dr. Willis was sixty going on one hundred and ten and had seen tens of thousands, if not more, vaginas in his lifetime.

“I’m ready,” I announced to the nurse waiting outside.

The door to the room opened, and the curtain around the bed where I lay uncomfortably was pulled back. The nurse came to stand by my side, forcing her hands into the latex gloves.

“Unfortunately, Dr. Willis has had a family emergency and can’t make it this afternoon. Dr. Mathers will be assessing you instead. I assure you, you’re in the best of hands.”

I groaned inwardly, and she winked as the doctor stepped into the room.

“Miss Gataki,” the doctor spoke as he perused the medical file in his hands.

The room shrunk, squeezed the air from my lungs, and all color drained from my face. “Sean?”

His eyes lifted instantly to mine, wide with shock. “Raven?”

Heat crept up my face as I laid outstretched on the patient bed, naked under the most hideous gown and my girls hanging freely beneath the rough cotton. Due to my family history, I was also scheduled for a mammogram today. A double whammy.

“Seriously? You have got to be kidding. You’re a fu—” My gaze darted to the nurse observing us curiously from the opposite side of the room. “A doctor?”

A devilish grin spread across his face. “A surgeon, yes. But I see we have a routine examination booked for today.”

“Like hell we do.” I pinned my legs together and threw them over the side of the bed, step one in my preparation to flee this appointment. Casting a glance over my shoulder at the smirking judgmental excuse for a doctor, I slid from the edge of the bed until both feet were fully cemented on the cold tiles.

A cool breeze whispered over my butt cheeks, and I shrieked in horror. I spun around, clutching the back of the gown to cover my heinie.

Sean covered his mouth with my medical chart to conceal his laughter.

“How very professional of you, Dr. Judgy.”

That’s the best I could come up with in my moment of humiliation.

“Oh, it’s Mathers,” he offered. “Dr. Sean Mathers.” He coughed to hide his chuckle as he extended his hand to me.

My eyes glazed over. “Get out. Now.” I pointed at the door, my eyes glaring into his. The poor nurse didn’t know which way to look—down at my ass gaping through the opening of the gown or at her superior.

Sean nodded, not the least bit offended. “Of course, if you’ll excuse me.”

The nurse hovered by my side once it was just the two of us, amusement seeping from her pores.

“I hope you enjoyed the show. Now, if you’ll be so kind as to leave me to get dressed so I can get the hell out of here, I’d appreciate it.” My words were clipped and my tone serious.

Her head bounced up and down as if she were a puppet tied to a broken string. “Would you like me to reschedule a time to see Dr. Willis?”

I glared at her, and she scurried from the room. “I’ll get on that right away, Miss Gataki,” she stated, escaping my mood.

Dressing in record time, I snuck out of the room, and headed in the direction of the exit. My head down, I searched for my phone at the bottom of my bag and let out an indigent squeal as I was pulled sideways and dragged into a closet.

A dark, tiny closet.

Nailed to the wall with Dr. Judgy pinning me in place.

“What the fuck, Sean?”

The woody scent of his cologne filled the air around us.

“Minutes ago, I was Dr. Judgy, and now we’re on a first-name basis again?”

I flattened my now sweaty palms on his chest to push him away—mistake number one. The ripples of his chest beneath my hands had my mind spinning out of control. Only weeks ago, I was kissing my way up his magnificent chest.

Due to the thin filter of light coming through the edge of the door, I saw his sinfully delicious smile and knew he was thinking about that night too.

“What do you want?”

The distance made it a little easier to breathe, though his arms were still fixed to the wall on either side of my head. Mini Raven twitched in my panties at the closeness of the man I desperately wanted to hate.

Instead, my heart beat faster every second I was in his presence. My hands ached to run over his naked skin. I loathed the way he made me feel.

“You’re Greek. Gataki… it means kitten, am I right?”

I groan out loud. “Congratulations, you spent the last three minutes with Google. What is it that you want, Sean?”

He lowered his face to the crook of my neck and inhaled. “I want you, kitten,” he whispered with a hint of humor.

My knees weakened, not nearly as much as my willpower. I tilted my head, and our lips met in the darkness, and my breathing grew heavier as I savored the taste of him one more time.

“Raven.”

A breathy moan from him, and I pulled him to me, grinding shamelessly on his growing erection. My hands dived beneath his shirt and raked over the firmness of his back.

When his fingers teased the waistband of my shorts, my body tensed, and I broke the kiss.

“I’m sorry, we can’t.” I released my hands from his body before I couldn’t let go.

We can, and I should.

Fuck, I want to.

But my body is scarred and wait—

Why did my scars repel him?

He’s a doctor, a surgeon. It didn’t make sense for him to have issues with a scar.

“Tell me why.” He brushed my hair from my face, dragged his thumb over my lip, wet from his kisses.

“You know why,” I whispered, frustrated and too sexually charged to be this close to him.

“No. Tell me why you walked out on us a few weeks ago. Please.”

“I... I was embarrassed. The way you looked at me,” I whispered. Embarrassed wasn’t the correct word, but it was difficult to form a thought with his body hovering so close to mine, his scent muddling all my senses.

“Because I looked like I couldn’t wait to devour you?” He frowned.

His pager sounded, interrupting the moment. He shut off the vibration on his hip before taking a look. “Tell me, kitten.” He smirked.

I rolled my eyes in the darkness, “Only if you stop calling me that.”

A soft chuckle filled the room. “Done. I hate nicknames with a passion.”

“The look on your face when you saw my scars…”

The pager beeped again at the same time his cell went off.

“What look? Raven, there was no look,” he answered seriously as he took the call on his cell and silenced his pager.

“Be right there.”

Waves of frustration and a sense of urgency replaced his calm cockiness.

“It’s not what you think. I have to go, I’m sorry.”

He raced from the room, leaving me breathless in his wake.

Two hours later, I was lurking in the hospital parking lot, sitting on my ass beside my car which won’t turn over. Fucking piece of shit.

I left a message for Dimitri, but he was in a meeting, and it was too late in the day to call Papa. He’d be preparing for the evening rush at their Greek salad bar and grill.

I pondered whether to call one of the girls or take a train home and leave my car, neither of which I was particularly comfortable doing.

“Is everything okay here?”

I swiveled on the rock I was perched on in the direction of the voice when I hear Dr. Judgy holler in the distance. “Raven, sorry to keep you waiting.”

My eyebrows infiltrated my hairline as he approached.

“Sorry, man,” the stranger addressed him before he continued on his way to his vehicle.

“No problem, I’ll take it from here.” Sean waved at the guy, a look of amusement on his face. He stopped in front of me. “You know, you could’ve waited for me inside.” He smirked. “What’s the problem?”

I rolled my eyes in his direction as I stood and dusted my ass. “I definitely was not waiting for you. My car won’t start, and I was taking a moment to contemplate what to do next.”

Doubt swept across Sean’s stern expression as he checked his wristwatch. “Hmm, two hours of contemplation, and what did you come up with besides waiting for me?”

Ugh.

Cocky judgy bastard.

“My brother is going to pick me up when he finishes work.” I held to the hope Dimitri would come to my rescue.

“No. You’ll come with me. I’ll arrange to have your car looked at this evening, and your brother can pick you up, if necessary, from my place.”

My eyes widened at his bluntness while my body heated from the inside out at the idea of a car ride and a visit to his home.

“You’ll stop at nothing to get me into bed, won’t you?” I shook my head at him, returning his cheeky grin from earlier.