Twist Me by Mia Monroe

Grey

“Thank you for helping today.” Mitsu rubs my arm while I set out chairs. “I’m expecting a good size group and my closest friend might come. He’s not sure if he can because he’s been traveling with work.”

“Oh, cool.” I crane my neck to steal a kiss. “And no thanks needed. I love watching you work.”

He bows his head slightly. “When you’re ready to model, let me know.”

I laugh softly. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

“I know. I just want the world to see the beauty you bring to this art.” He pulls me into his arm, nuzzling my neck. “But I am thoroughly content keeping you to myself as well.”

Reaching up, I drag my fingers through his long strands, searching his eyes. “I adore you, Mitsu. You are my world.”

“You are my universe.”

I narrow my eyes. “Oh yeah, well, you’re my galaxy.”

Mitsu grins. “The universe is bigger than the galaxy, my love. So therefore I still love you more.”

“Dang it.”

He smacks my butt. “You’re adorable.”

Shaking my head as he releases me, I finish setting out the chairs. “I was thinking of getting a tattoo to symbolize us.”

“Oh yes?” Mitsu wraps a rope as he gazes at me. “Of what?”

“Well I was gonna do the yin-yang thing because you have black hair and I have blond and we balance each other, but then I looked it up and that’s Chinese not Japanese.”

“Correct.”

“So then I thought I might get the Japanese character for love.”

“Also a good choice.” He grins. “It doesn’t have to be Japanese just because I am.”

“I thought of that too.” I walk over to him and wrap my arms around him, laying my head on his shoulder. “So then I thought about two ropes, black and white, twisted together.”

“Beautiful.”

“With a surprise at the end.”

“I like surprises.”

“Good.” I kiss him softly. “I’m gonna talk to Luca about it. I really like his work.”

“I cannot wait to see it.”

He pulls me closer, kissing me with a passion that I can feel all the way to my toes. His hands move to my ass, squeezing gently as our bodies press together. I’m tempted to wrap my legs around him and climb, knowing he can somehow support my weight, but we’re interrupted by someone clearing their throat behind us.

Mitsu releases me, dragging his fingers through his hair and shaking his body slightly to compose himself. He bows slightly to the man who entered the room. Mitsu’s smile grows.

“Andres. You made it.”

Andres smiles, coming over and hugging Mitsu. He’s a handsome man, very rugged. He looks like someone who works with his hands. He’s much shorter than Mitsu, though most people are, with short black hair. He’s also a fan of tattoos. “I was able to get back from my trip in time.” His eyes roam over me quickly before returning to Mitsu. “Good to see you.”

“You too.” Mitsu turns to me. “Andres, this is Grey, the absolute love of my life. Grey, a good friend of mine, Andres.”

Andres seems to force a tight smile to his lips as he shakes my hand. “Love of your life, huh? That’s...new.”

“It is,” Mitsu says, softly, gazing at me with pure love in his eyes. “I’m glad you get to meet him.”

“Yeah,” Andres says.

I’m getting some uncomfortable vibes from him, but I try to push those thoughts away. “I’ll go get the water tray and glasses.”

“Thank you, beloved.”

Nodding, I exit the room and make my way to the kitchen, spending several minutes filling the pitchers with cool lemon-infused water. I stack the glasses on the tray, then lift it all, pausing when I remember we didn’t set up the refreshment table yet. I’ll do that first.

I make my way back to the garden, but the tension I feel as I stand just outside is palpable. I peek inside to see Mitsu bent over tending to his ropes and Andres leaning close. Both of them look tense. Moving behind the door, I strain to hear the conversation.

“I’m just saying I would’ve thought this is something you would’ve told me,” Andres says.

“Why is my sexuality any business of yours?”

Oh fuck.

“We’ve been friends for years, Mit.”

Mit?

“We shared an apartment. We went on double dates. You never once said you like dick.”

“Do not be disrespectful.” I peek in to see Mitsu right himself, towering over Andres. “I do not owe you or anyone else an explanation about who I love or who I sleep with. I don’t understand what your issue is. If you’re about to disclose you’re homophobic, I will ask you to leave my home.”

My heart races in my chest.

“I’m not homophobic, Mit. I’m just surprised. Plus…”

I hear him exhale in a huff.

“He seems really young. What do you guys have in common? You’ve always said there was no way you were having kids or following the traditional path, but getting tangled up in someone young could complicate that plan.”

“Honestly, Andres, I don’t feel I have to justify my relationship to you, but it’s obvious to me that you don’t understand the transformation love can bring.”

“So it’s really love? Not just, I don’t know, fucking?”

Mitsu’s voice lowers to the point where I can’t hear it anymore. I lean in as close as I can, but all I can hear are muffled voices. Then loudly, Mitsu’s voice comes through.

“Support me or leave, Andres.”

There’s a long silence, and then, “I support you, Mitsu. If you’re happy, it’s cool with me.”

“Thank you.”

Exhaling slowly, I walk back to the kitchen, my feelings jumbled. On some level I knew there would be people who questioned our relationship, especially since Mitsu is private about his sexuality. I knew our age difference might raise eyebrows, but it really sucks to witness it. To hear Mitsu have to defend us is hard. If Andres knew about my past, he would really have something to say. I know Mitsu isn’t ashamed of me, but still, this fucking hurts.

I carry the tray into the room, trying my best to put on a happy or, at least, neutral expression. Once I set everything up, I twist to go see what else Mitsu needs, but he’s right behind me, his brow furrowed with concern.

“What’s wrong, beloved?”

“Nothing.”

He pulls my hands into his. “I can feel you, Grey. You are in me. You think I don’t sense your energy right now?”

I look down at the floor, blinking back tears before glancing around the room for Andres. He’s in the corner looking at Mitsu’s artwork, far enough away not to hear us.

“I heard the shit he said to you about us.”

Mitsu nods, his jaw tight as he slides his hand under my hair and rests it on the back of my neck. “If he makes you uncomfortable, I will ask him to leave. You matter above all else.”

“I know. It’s not that. We should talk later.”

“I won’t be able to concentrate if you’re not happy.”

“I should go then.”

“No, please. I want you here so much.”

“Come outside with me then.”

He nods, not bothering to address Andres as we leave the room. We walk to the kitchen and I hoist myself up on the island.

“It bothers me that you had to defend us. You’ll have to again and again. We don’t make sense to people.”

“Do you think I give any fucks what other people think about us?”

“Maybe you will over time. Maybe you’ll get tired of explaining things. If someone discovers I am…” I pause, swallowing hard. “If he knew I’m trans…”

“That is no one’s business but yours, my love, and whoever you choose to share it with.” He steps between my legs. “I love you, Grey, with all my heart. I will proudly defend that love. I don’t care how often or to whom. Anyone who is unkind or unaccepting will no longer be part of our lives. Do you understand that? I am devoted to you. Would you care if someone asked why you're with a man fifteen years older? Would you care if someone asked if you are happy with someone with a simple life and not much money? Would you care if someone had a problem with my Asian descent?”

“No.”

“Because?”

“I love you. You’re perfect for me.”

He exhales as a slight smile pulls at his lips. “Why can you not see that I have the same reaction to you? You are my light and my joy. My literal everything. If I was asked tomorrow to choose between you and my work, which do you think I would choose?”

My eyes widen. “That’s a hard one.”

“No it isn’t. It’s unbelievably easy. I could find other work, but I could never find another you.”

“But you love Shibari.”

“I do, so it should tell you everything you need to know if I would abandon it for you.” He leans in and kisses me softly. “Grey, listen to me. Hear me. I have waited my entire life to feel the way I do when you simply walk into a room. Whatever battles there are to come, whatever obstacles, I will push through them. I am so proud to be with you, to be your man, to be claimed as yours. Do you understand?”

I nod, swiping my eyes. “I do. Thank you.”

“Thank you for talking to me. I will ask Andres to leave.”

“No.” I shake my head. “No. He’s fine. He didn’t say anything mean. I guess the best way to prove our love to people like him is by example.”

“No, Grey. We don’t have to prove anything to anyone. If he wants to be in my life, he accepts this. There is no compromise.”

“You just got, like, ten times hotter if that’s even possible.”

He laughs softly. “That so?”

“No one has ever stuck up for me like you. I never gave people a chance to show they had my back, except Mac. I’ve always wanted to be more open about who I am in settings outside of support groups.” I look down, playing with his fingers. “But I’m too scared people will reject me. It’s happened, you know, dating wise. I haven’t even told Jude and the guys because I don’t want them to see me differently than them, you know?”

“Is it important to you that they know?”

“No, but it’s important to me to feel like if they knew, it would be okay. I don’t know how to get there.”

“I will support you whatever you decide.”

“Would it...I mean...um…”

“What is it, beloved?”

“Would it bother you if people know? Our friends?”

“Have you heard anything I said the last few minutes?”

“Yeah, but I mean like Nix and Jude and the guys.”

“My answer stands. I am proud of you. I support whatever decision you make. I love you beyond words. I’ll be beside you, Grey, for every season of your life, if you’ll have me.”

“I’ll have you.” I smile. “You make me feel so brave.”

“You are brave. The bravest person I know. I am simply a mirror for you to see your own strength.”

I kiss him softly, pulling back, but he holds me tight, melting my insides with a steamy kiss. We break it when the front door opens and people enter.

“Ready to go out there?” Mitsu asks.

“I am.”

I stand next to Mitsu, greeting students for the workshop. I’m slightly uncomfortable as he introduces me as his boyfriend, but the nerves start to slowly dissipate with each warm smile shared in my direction. When Nix and Tate enter, I smile, happy to see familiar faces.

“Hey,” Tate says as Nix waves but walks off to join Mitsu. “Good to see you.”

“You too. Great to see people I know.”

“Yeah, are you modeling?”

“Oh no.” I shake my head so hard that I’m surprised it doesn’t fall off. “Just here for support.”

“Cool. Nix is gonna do a demo. I’m modeling for it.”

“Yeah? That’s awesome.”

He tilts his head, smiling. “I can’t believe you hang out with Mitsu and haven’t been seduced by the lure of the ropes yet.”

I laugh. “Not true. Just not seduced enough to entertain an audience.”

His eyebrows bounce. “Nice. Do you like it?”

“Yeah, it’s amazing. It’s kind of like you described, but for me it’s even more intense because…” I pause, smiling. “I’m sure you don’t care.”

Tate puts his hand on my arm and the gesture doesn’t bother me at all. “No, I do care, Grey.”

After a second to just enjoy my reaction to his touch, I nod. “I was scared because I am really claustrophobic. I thought it would freak me out. I told you I had control issues, but it was more than that. Like even being touched was hard.”

Tate pulls his hand away. “Dude. I’m so sorry.”

“No, that’s the thing. I didn’t have a problem with your hand on me at all. I’m kind of blown away by that. It’s like Mitsu put a spell on me, and I’m not afraid of things anymore.”

Tate smiles. “That’s the magic of the ropes. My freedom was different than yours, but it’s still freedom. I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you.”

Nix appears next to Tate, kissing his cheek. “Hey, Grey. Ready, babe?”

“Talk after?” Tate asks.

“I’ll be here.”

I find a seat at the end of the rows to watch the master do his thing. It surprises me when, a minute later, Andres sits next to me. I glance at him and he offers a slight smile. I nod politely, but I’m nervous as fuck right now.

As if I’m sending a silent alarm, Mitsu turns his gaze to me, noticing Andres and questioning with his eyes. I smile, exhaling softly to shake off my nerves. The demonstration begins with Nix working on Tate, who smiles like a kid in a candy store. Nix is very skilled, tying intricate knots around his boyfriend’s body while Mitsu explains each technique. When Nix suspends Tate, dropping him to the side so he’s hanging from one bent leg, I smile, wondering if Mitsu could do that to me. I’m much taller than Tate, but maybe.

“It’s stunning, isn’t it?”

I twist my head to look at Andres. “Yes.”

“Mitsu-san is a true artist.”

I nod, keeping my eyes on the demonstration.

“I’ve been friends with him for a long time. Even before he moved to Miami. In fact, after my divorce, I moved here to restart my life. Ended up falling in love with Miami.”

“Cool.” I’d rather watch the class then listen to this walk down memory lane.

“He’s been there for me no matter what.”

“He’s a good friend.”

“He is.” Andres is silent, but I can sense he wants to say more. “I always pictured him with a tall blond.”

I turn to face him to see his expression since I can’t read his tone. It’s neutral.

“And?”

“And he found one.”

“Do you have a problem with me?” I ask, surprising myself at my boldness.

“No. Unless you hurt him. Then I will.”

Okay, that was ominous.

“I’m sure he can defend his honor, but I have no intention of hurting him.” When I shift my gaze to the front, Mitsu is watching the interaction.

“What are your intentions? What are you, twenty-one?”

I immediately move my hands to my hair and twist it into a bun. Mitsu frowns, but I nod. I can handle this.

“Who are you, his bodyguard?” I turn and meet his gaze. “My age is none of your business. My relationship with Mitsu is none of your business. My intentions are none of your business.”

“Because he doesn't like to party,” he presses. “And I don’t know if he told you, but he’s not looking for a traditional path. He’s always gone his own way. His beauty is in his freedom to live life on his terms. Don’t take that away from him.”

All of a sudden his motive hits me like smacking into a wall. “Oh my god. You have feelings for him.”

Andres’s jaw tightens. “As a f-friend,” he stutters. “He’s important to me. That way only. I don’t date men.”

I cross my arms over my chest, feeling kind of sorry for him now. “I get it. You’re straight, but Mitsu is special.”

“Yes.” He nods as if convincing himself.

“You’ve tried to ignore how he makes you feel.” I turn and shift my gaze to the front. Mitsu is demonstrating a wrapping technique on Tate’s leg while Nix cradles Tate’s upper body. “He’s made you wonder, rethink if you’re as straight as you think you are. You thought since he didn’t date much, maybe you had time to work through your feelings. Maybe...one day you’d find the courage to tell him. Kiss him. Hold him in your arms. Mitsu is a shelter in the storm, a safe place. You hoped…someday...he could be yours. You hate me because I made the clock run out.”

When I turn to look at Andres, he’s staring at me wide-eyed like he just saw a ghost. His lips are parted as if he’s going to speak, but he doesn’t.

I shrug. “It’s okay. I don’t judge you. I understand, actually. Mitsu has helped me redefine a lot of things in my life.”

“I’m not...gay.”

“Cool.” I offer a slight smile. “You know, there are other spectrums of sexuality than just gay and straight.”

He frowns, looking flustered. “Like I said, I don’t date men. I just...we’re just…friends.”

“Guess I got it wrong.”

“Yeah, man, you did. It’s not like that.”

“My bad.”

I turn back to the demonstration, smiling big at my man as he checks in with his eyes. Andres still looks devastated. Maybe he didn’t see it? I dig in my back pocket and pull my wallet out, finding a card for one of the youth centers I speak at.

“I’m probably wrong, man, but if you need anyone to talk to, I know a cool place.” I hand him the card. He takes it, reading the title, his breath hitching slightly.

“Is this how you found out you like men?”

“Nah, I just knew, but there are groups to help others who don’t.”

“Oh. I don’t need it,” he says, sliding it into his pocket.

“Okay.”

After the workshop ends, I chat with Tate and Nix as we help clean up. I notice Andres speaking with Mitsu, whose body language is initially tense but slowly relaxes. Finally they hug and Andres waves goodbye. I wave back.

When everyone is gone, Mitsu and I walk to the living room for a cuddle on the couch.

“Andres apologized,” Mitsu says. “He admits he was unreasonably protective of me, but he could tell how much you love me and wishes us nothing but happiness.”

I nod, leaning on his shoulder.

“What did you talk about?”

“He was talking shit about not taking your freedom from you, and I realized he might have feelings for you.”

Mitsu tilts his head. “What?”

“Yeah. I called him on it and he got super flustered. He said he wasn’t gay and you were just a friend, but I saw it. I gave him a card for a support group that talks about sexuality spectrums. I think he was threatened by me because he hoped he had time to figure it out before you got snatched up by someone.”

“Andres?” His eyes shift away for a moment, and then his face softens. “I never saw it. There were signs.” He chuckles. “I pushed them away. Called them something else.”

“Signs like what?”

“He would always say that the two of us would never settle down, but we didn’t need to because we were so suited it was almost like we were dating. Then he’d get embarrassed, but the unspoken implication was there.” He shakes his head. “That explains his reaction to learning that I was dating a man.”

I nod. “He didn’t know it was an option.”

“Well, this is awkward, isn’t it?”

“A little. You’ll have to talk to him.”

“In time. I’m glad it wasn’t homophobia.”

I laugh. “Me too.”

“For the record, I never connected with Andres on that level. Even if he had told me he was interested, I wouldn’t have gone there with him. I’m rather happy he didn’t. Much easier to save face now.”

I nod. “I feel a little bad for him. Because I’m never letting you go.”

“I like that answer. What did you think of today’s demo?”

“It was nice. I like it better when it’s me.”

“Can be arranged.”

“You’re not tired?”

“Not even remotely. Shower first then play?”

“Yes please.”

Mitsu chuckles. “I must say, my love, I am overjoyed that you’ve taken to the ropes so well. My two favorite things combined. I am a blessed man.”

“How about you bless me with some dick?”

Mitsu pulls me close, nuzzling my neck. “My pleasure.”

As we walk to the bathroom, I can’t stop grinning.