Psync by Zile Elliven
Chapter Nineteen
Eli
“This wouldn’t be happening if you weren’t so pretty, boy.” Rough hands had Eli by the shoulders and shook him until his vision went gray. “Just play your role and you won’t get hurt.”
“Eli!”
“You look just like him. So damned pretty . . .”
Eli pushed frantically against the sweat-covered chest he was currently being crushed into.
“My poor son.”
“Eli! Wake up, buddy!”
Hands shook him, and Eli cried out. He opened his eyes, but the hands on his shoulders didn’t fade away with the dream. Was he still there? Frantically he searched his surroundings and saw Nate hovering over him, eye’s wide with alarm.
“I’m sorry, but you wouldn’t wake up.”
“No, it’s okay.” Eli panted, trying to catch his breath and slow his racing heart. “I’m glad you did.”
Nate’s phone rang, and he reached to shut it off. “Jerk’s been calling me all afternoon looking for you. Dude is seriously stressed out about something.”
“Did you tell him where I am?” Eli’s fingers clenched around the blanket.
“What am I, new? I’ve never given him my number, and now he’s spamming my phone right when you want a place to crash. I can add two and two, you know.”
Eli let out the breath he’d been holding. “Thanks.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Eli shook his head. If he had to explain to Nate what had happened, it would mean admitting things to himself he wasn’t ready to deal with. “No thanks. Just . . . block him, okay?”
Nate gave a rueful smile. “No problem there. Never liked the guy to begin with. You should hear some of the things Ash has told me about him.”
Eli held up a hand. “I don’t need to know.”
He got up and fished through his bag. He’d forgotten his bipolar meds today, but his anxiety meds were rattling around forgotten in a side pocket. For fuck’s sake, he could have taken them earlier. He shook one out and swallowed it.
“I need to go back to my room and get some things.” Like the drugs that kept his emotions from seesawing like a sugared-up kid at a playground.
“Want me to come along?”
“No, it’s late, I doubt I’ll run into him now.”
Eli knew his friend. If they ran into him, Nate was hotheaded enough to try and pick a fight with Haruka without even knowing any of the details, and that was the last thing Eli wanted.
“I’ll be back soon.”
***
Climbing ten flights of stairs got old fast. He didn’t need to work out with Ash anymore, the climb alone would have him ripped in no time.
He opened the door, stepped out into the hall and—
Shit, shit, fuck, fuck, Jesus, fucking shitballs!
Haruka was camped out in the hallway with a laptop and a plastic grocery bag. He didn’t look like he was planning on moving anytime soon.
Eli darted back through the door and plastered himself against the wall. At the last minute, he stuck his hand between the door and the doorframe so it wouldn’t slam shut with a clang. Instead, it slammed shut with a whimper—Eli’s.
He’d just broken his fucking hand because he was a massive coward.
Eli heard a faint sound on the other side of the door at the same moment worry and concern surged in his chest.
No. Haruka wasn’t the stupid Voice in Eli’s stupid head. He wasn’t even going to entertain the idea. Because if he was, Eli was diving from the nearest roof.
Instead, he was taking himself to the school hospital to have his hand checked and never thinking about any of this ever again.
✽✽✽
“Eli, honey, what happened to you?” Alice fluttered her hands anxiously over Eli as he attempted to eat his lunch one-handed. He hadn’t broken it, but it was going to be bandaged for the next week.
“Maybe you’ll have better luck than me, Al. He wouldn’t tell me a thing.” Nate said mulishly.
“It’s embarrassing,” Eli said through a mouthful of food.
“Did someone do this to you?” Alice’s eyes went ice cold.
Eli sighed. “I did it to myself. Please don’t make me admit how. I’m still kicking myself over it.”
“As long as there isn’t someone out there we need to kick over it,” Alice said.
Eli gave a forced laugh. If only.
Imagining Alice kicking Haruka was incredibly satisfying, and for a moment it chased away the nightmare fog of emotions Eli was keeping at bay. He didn’t have his bipolar meds, so instead he’d been going to town on antianxiety meds. Not ideal, but it was only a stopgap measure until he could get into his room.
The Voice had better not be Haruka. He had no right to be churning out these levels of worry and concern. If it was Haruka, he could go eat a dick.
Just this morning, Eli had had to fall over himself in order to duck out of sight when Haruka walked by with a swarm of women clinging to every available inch of his body.
Seriously? How had Eli missed this? Maybe Haruka had been having an off week and he’d turned to Eli for some entertainment. He’d been told he was as pretty as a girl often enough.
His throat closed, and he put his fork down, staring at his untouched plate. “I’d better go, or I’ll be late for an appointment with my advisor.” Eli lied. Actually, he was going to the library for a quick nap between classes, but he didn’t want his friends to know how little sleep he’d been getting. They were already worried enough as it was.
No, he just needed to hold himself together until he could get back to his room, get his meds, and catch up on all of the sleep he’d been missing. Then everything would be fine.
He stood up, and the world did a lovely, slow twirl around him, forcing him to stand still until he could get his bearings.
Yes, everything would be just fine.