Psync by Zile Elliven

Chapter Twenty

Haruka

Thunk!

Arrow after arrow went into the target. None of them even remotely close to where they were supposed to go.

“Are you okay, Haru? I’ve never seen you this off your game.” Aaron, the captain of the archery team patted him on the shoulder.

Haruka shrugged noncommittally. “Just tired.”

“I’ve seen you tired before, and you still make center shots nine times out of ten.” Aaron stepped back and took in his stance. “Your shoulders are stiff as a board, and you’re glaring at everything that moves. Dude, you don’t look tired, you look pissed.”

Haruka leveled a dirty look at his captain.

“See? Exactly like that. You know what? I need to . . . go over there now.” Aaron took off for the shelter where the team kept their gear.

Haruka breathed out a sigh. People had been running from him all week, but there was nothing he could do about it. He didn’t blame them, currently he wasn’t fit to be around. The only exception was the horde of women who seemed to be tracking his every movement.

It was a very new, very recent development. He’d never been a social person, so after the initial novelty of meeting someone from Japan wore off, most people left him alone. Some continued to stare from afar, but he could ignore it and focus on his studies.

But on Monday it was like every woman on campus suddenly wanted a piece of him. He couldn’t go anywhere alone anymore, and it was maddening.

Like now. The fence behind him was filled with students cheering him on even though he was having the worst practice session of his life.

All of this he could deal with. It was annoying, but after a few weeks of being ignored, they would get bored and find someone else to fawn over.

The problem was the timing of it.

Friday had gone better than he’d hoped. He knew Eli now and understood that when he encountered something too far out of his element, he ran like a frightened child. So, he couldn’t push him.

All Haruka needed to do was to get Eli used to being around him. To show him there was nothing to be afraid of when they were together. At this point Haruka would rather cut off a finger than hurt him.

Eli’s innocent blue eyes were hypnotic, his every movement—even the clumsy ones—did nothing but draw Haruka in more. As for the pull in his chest, it was so strong, it no longer allowed Haruka the option of staying away.

Haruka knew at some point Eli would run from him on Friday. What he hadn’t expected was confirmation that Eli felt the same pull he did. When they were saying goodbye, the look in Eli’s eyes matched the intensity building inside Haruka. The inexorable pull was drawing them both in.

Was Haruka a voice in Eli’s mind too?

Part of Haruka was relieved Eli had run like a startled rabbit when that fucker Ash had interrupted them. It was too soon, and Eli was so shy. Haruka wouldn’t push him. They had time.

Then he saw the look on Ash’s face when Eli helped him clean up his mess. It was predatory. Haruka should know. Like recognized like.

And if he acted on the impulse he’d had to rip the bastard’s head off when he realized Ash knew where Eli lived, it would have put a crimp in his plan to prove he was safe for Eli to be around. So, he’d left before he ruined everything.

It had been a serious mistake.

The next morning, he woke up from a nightmare Haruka knew belonged to Eli—Haruka didn’t have touch issues and had never been assaulted, but the dream had been a garbled mess of images of being beaten and trapped.

But when he’d texted Eli, the boy claimed to be fine, but busy.

What was Haruka supposed to do? Camp out in Eli’s hallway and wait for him to come out? He’d do it if he wasn’t positive it would send Eli running all the way home.

The pull in his chest was killing him. If he’d thought it was bad before Friday, it had doubled by Saturday, then again on Sunday. By Monday morning, Haruka felt like he was walking around with a gaping wound in his chest and constantly found himself reaching up to touch it to make sure he wasn’t bleeding out.

The morning was torture as he listened while Eli had panic attack after panic attack. Something was wrong, but there was nothing he could do. He didn’t know where the boy was, and Eli wasn’t returning his calls. He’d been on the verge of destroying his room when Eli finally picked up the phone.

And Haruka had blown it. The pull had forced him to be too pushy and scared Eli away. If he’d been able to rein it in just a little, he could have seen him, made sure he was okay, and taken care of him if he wasn’t. Haruka knew down to his bones that Eli was not okay.

The pull in his chest punished him brutally after Eli had hung up. All he could think about was finding Eli, protecting him, and if need be, hurting anything that threatened him.

Haruka didn’t even recognize himself. Where was the calm, bored young man who’d had everything in his life come so easy? Was this his payment for all of the gifts life had given him?

Now he was a ball of worry, anger, and fear. He had to find Eli.

He’d discovered where one of Eli’s classes was, so he’d decided to ambush him, hopefully without scaring the boy to death. Except when Haruka arrived, a girl had fallen down the stairs and needed him to take her to the infirmary.

The plan had been to get her there, drop her off, and get back before Eli’s class ended. Then he felt something inside him rip in two and saw Eli staring at him like Haruka had shot him with an arrow.

The pull yanked him toward Eli, but the girl on his arm cried out and weighed him down.

Eli wasn’t physically injured, and Haruka was planning on coming right back. He wouldn’t wait for class to finish, he would pull him out, talk to him, and explain what happened.

But when he got back, it was too late. Eli had vanished, no one had seen him—or would admit to having seen him—and all Haruka could do was sit in Eli’s hall, trying to keep his shit together. Because Eli needed him. His person needed him to be okay until they could fix this misunderstanding.

He kept telling himself he should be happy that Eli was jealous. And that maybe Eli felt even a little of what Haruka was feeling, but the waves of misery pouring through their bond ruined any happiness Haruka could have felt.

Especially when he’d physically felt Eli’s pain. It was so intense, Haruka had to examine his hand to make sure he hadn’t broken it, but the pain faded to a dull ache after a few seconds.

It still lingered on and off as the days went by. Haruka could feel it now as he sent an arrow careening over the target, missing it entirely. He should go home. His sure-fire solution to a crowded mind wasn’t working today, and if he wasn’t careful, he was going to accidentally shoot someone.

Kyudo had helped soothe him last week after the first time Eli started avoiding him. He’d been able to lose himself in the heat of the sun and the beautiful stillness of the moment before releasing an arrow brought him. Now he couldn’t find the stillness. The hole in his chest was too loud to allow him any peace.

What else was he supposed to do? If he took a walk, his fan club would mob him again. The last time he’d tried, he’d caught a fleeting glimpse of Eli. The boy’s normally brilliant eyes were dull, and his body was hunched protectively around his bandaged hand. It took everything Haruka had to not knock the girls surrounding him out of the way and chase him down.

He suspected Eli wasn’t eating, and he definitely knew he wasn’t sleeping—not enough to have nightmares, anyway. At this point Haruka would gladly accept any nightmares Eli sent him. At least he could be there, helping him in some way.

Eli’s friends were no help. Nate glared daggers at him any time Haruka tried to talk to him, and Alice only gave him a sad smile when he’d begged her to make sure Eli ate something.

He had to do something. Anything. If Eli felt half as bad as Haruka did right now, this couldn’t continue any longer. He’d scour the entire campus if he had to.

“Aaron!” Haruka called his captain to him. “I need you to do me a favor.”

“Will this favor help you get your groove back?”

Groove? Haruka had no idea what a carved space in wood had to do with himself, so he assumed it was an idiom he hadn’t learned yet and went for context. “Sure . . .”

“Then I’ll do it.”

“I need you to distract my fan club so I can get out of here.”

“Is that what’s been bothering you? Man, you’re crazy. I would be happy to take them off your hands.”

“They’re all yours.”

Haruka went to the back of the shelter and hid in the shadows until Aaron went over to the railing and made a big production of stringing his bow shirtless.

No one was looking at Haruka anymore. He took the opportunity to dart out the back of the shelter into the trees so he could cut back around to head for the dorms. He was about to make a serious nuisance of himself.

✽✽✽

Two hours and several unwanted phone numbers later turned up nothing. Night was falling, and the hole in his chest had reached truly impressive levels. His hand kept pressing against it like his guts would spill out if he didn’t hold them in.

Wrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrong

The blow to his psyche was staggering and nearly sent Haruka to knees, but he found his footing immediately. Eli needed him. Now.

And this time, the pull was telling him which way to go.

He followed the pull to the library at a dead run, ignoring the indignant shout from the librarian as he tore through the lobby and made for the stairs. On the third-floor landing, the pull increased and then cut off abruptly at the same time a faint cry rang out from the other side of the door.

Haruka nearly took the door off its hinges.

“Don’t be a fucking tease, Eli.”

Ash’s voice directed Haruka to the back of the stacks.

When he came around the last bookshelf, he saw Eli crumpled across a table, cradling his head. Ash hovered over him as he pawed at Eli’s shirt.

Haruka saw red.