Blue 42 by C.A. Rene
Chapter twenty-five
Sebastian
We lost another game and it’s been nearly a week without Dixon. The locker room is quiet as we sit here and listen to Coach berate us for not being focused. We really weren’t and this whole trip was a damn bust. The good news though? We just played the Baltimore Ravens.
So, instead of getting on that bus and going home with the team, I’ll be staying behind to search down Dixon.
“Why aren’t you coming back with us?” Jameson asks.
“Business.” I shrug. He and Ortiz know what that means and don’t question me further.
Coach doesn’t question me, he just barks for me to be at practice in two days, and I swallow down the need to flip him off. I get it, he’s salty about us losing, but I will still slap him like a bitch if he pushes me.
I leave the stadium and hop in the cab that will take me to my hotel. It didn’t take long to find the new home Dixon bought for his mom and I will head over there tomorrow. I would’ve done it tonight but I don’t want to come off as obsessed because I’m not.
I get inside my room and throw my bag on the bed, I should sleep but I’m too amped, and turn on the TV instead. Maybe I’ll order porn and veg out on room service. I open the menu on the screen for the porn titles and see It’s a man’s world, a gay porn. I keep it highlighted for a while and then curse, turning it off. I need to get the fuck out of this hotel and get some fresh air.
I’m standing outside and watching the cars drive by, a few of them cabs. Would seeing Dixon tonight be any different than waiting until tomorrow? I really don’t think so and honestly, we don’t have a lot of time. Me attempting to sleep and it being half assed is worse anyway. Might as well get this over with.
I hail a cab and tell him the address. I know it’s about a thirty-minute drive because I Googled it, I need to be prepared, and I settle back in the seat. I wonder how he’ll receive me. Will he be angry that I searched him out or will he be grateful I’m coming to see how he’s doing? It could go either way.
The streets of Baltimore look somewhat like Rochester’s with guys on the corners looking ominous and to me, it feels like home. I remember being like them and running shit like they are, it was my life for so long. It still is in a way, that part of me will never die, and I will always be the Seb that runs Edgerton. No amount of money will change that and I know that no matter how green the fucking grass looks, there’s still dirt underneath.
His house is nice. It’s a small bungalow but it’s on a quiet street and the cars here are what I would describe as mid-class. I pay the taxi driver and get out of the car, noting that only one light is on inside that I can see. I can’t help but wonder if all the doors are locked on this house and how pissed would he be if I snuck inside? I decide against it and walk up the driveway. There’s no garage and no car parked, so I can’t be sure if he’s even home. I stand on the small concrete front porch and hover my finger over the doorbell. If his mother is here, she may be sleeping, and I don’t want him pissed at me. So, I gently rap my knuckles on the wooden surface and wait. After a few minutes, I do it again but a little harder.
“Coming,” I hear his voice inside and then a faint, “fuck.”
There’s a clicking noise, like something hitting the hardwood floor, and it stops on the other side of the door. I hear the lock turn and grin when I realize that while he’s in Baltimore, he’s a bit more cautious. The door opens and I watch as Dixon hobbles out of the way on one crutch. The look of surprise quickly changes into suspicion.
“What the hell are you doing here?” he asks and looks out to the street.
“I thought I’d check in on you, I’m alone.”
“You came to Baltimore to check on me?” He has his brow raised.
“We had a game against the Ravens tonight,” I raise my brow right back at him.
He scrubs his hand down his face and exhales, “right.”
“Are you going to keep me out here?”
“No, but wait,” he shakes his head, “what are you doing here?”
I step up onto the ledge of his front door, just inches from his face, and watch as his eyes darken. My reaction is much the same and my dick swells in my jeans.
“Let me in,” I rasp.
His eyes drop to my mouth and I let them curl up at the corners. He hops back with a huff, “come in.”
I follow him inside and the warmth in this house is so vastly different than his in Buffalo. There are pictures lining the walls, plants in all corners, and it smells like home cooking. I’ve never lived in a home like this and I envy him for what he’s taking for granted, he should bring his mother to Buffalo with him.
“Sebastian,” he groans, “what are you doing here?”
“I wanted to check on you, make sure you’re okay.”
“Why?” he looks at me with shock.
“Because you left without a word and I didn’t even have time to drop by to see you.” I shrug.
His eyes squint with suspicion momentarily but then he shakes it off, “I’m alright.” Then his brows crash together, “how did you find me?”
“I have talents.” I evade and he continues to stare me down, “it’s easy when you know what you’re looking for.”
I follow his hobble into the kitchen and nearly groan out loud when I see lasagna sitting on the counter. I didn’t eat after the game. My stomach rumbles loudly and Dixon shoots me a look. I shrug and he rolls his eyes, opening a cabinet to grab two plates. He places one in front of me and nods his head at the pasta.
“Is your mom sleeping?” I ask as I plop a piece onto my plate.
“She’s working,” he answers quietly, his eyes never leaving my face. “Why?”
I ignore his question and moan over a mouthful of pasta, licking some sauce off my lip. It feels so fucking empowering to see the affect I have on him. He stares at me without blinking and when I drop my head to get another bite, he adjusts himself in his pants.
“Miss me?” I ask around the next mouthful.
“No.” He retorts and stabs at his food.
“Don’t lie to me,” I say quietly, “I hate liars.”
“Whatever,” he mumbles and eats another bite, leaning against the counter beside me.
“Thought so.” I chuckle. “Dani was pretty pissed you wouldn’t let her drive you here.”
“She told you that?” he asks incredulously.
“Nah, I overheard her say it to Coach.”
“Wow,” he rolls his eyes.
“Looks like things are getting serious,” the memory of them lying in bed together makes my stomach burn with jealousy.
He shrugs and takes another bite.
“How would she feel knowing about us?”
He puts his plate on the counter and looks at me, “what us, Sebastian? What the fuck are you even talking about?”
I push off the counter and stand in front of him, running a finger down his throat as he works hard to swallow. “This.” My finger continues down over his chest and stomach, his intake of breath accelerating with my touch. My finger stops at the waistband of his pants and I look back up into his eyes. “That.”
His lips part and before he can say a word, I’m invading his mouth with my tongue. His warmth, his scent, even the way he tastes; it’s just so damn perfect and when he fists my shirt in his hand to haul me in closer, I nearly come in my pants. He releases my shirt and works on my belt buckle, making me moan into his mouth. His frantic movements have me pulling away from his mouth so I can watch the moment when he wraps his hand around my cock. My jeans fall to my feet and he lowers my boxers, groaning when my cock springs free.
“Grab it,” I almost sound like I’m begging and I can’t bring myself to care.
He does as I tell him and he squeezes me, chuckling when I jerk in his hand, “miss me?” he taunts just as I drag his mouth back to mine. Yes, I fucking did.
He begins to pump my cock with sure strokes and spreads the drop of precum around my head, if he continues like this, I will come in his hand. I don’t want that, I want to come inside of him. I rip his pants down to his knees and groan again when I see he has no underwear on, his cock bouncing off my thigh. I grab it in my hand and stroke him at the same leisurely pace he’s stroking me, his moans being swallowed by my mouth. My other hand snakes around his hip and settles on his ass cheek. I give it a firm squeeze, letting my fingers graze his ass crack, and he tenses at the touch.
He breaks our kiss and stares at me with his jaw clenched, but he doesn't stop me. I press in harder and my forefinger dips into his tight hole, just as his cock twitches in my hand. He likes it.
“I want to be inside you,” I lick at his bottom lip, “again.”
I’m expecting him to draw away from me at those words, expecting anger in his features, but instead he moans loudly and pushes back against my finger that begins to move in and out of him. I’m so damn hard watching the bliss on his face and feeling the movements of him against my hand.
“Turn around, Dixon.” There’s a moment of hesitation, but then he turns around, and plants his hands on the edge of the counter. “Jack yourself.” I watch as his hand disappears down his front and a guttural noise escapes his throat, making my cock jerk against his ass cheek.
I grab both ass cheeks in my hands and spread him open, his breaths coming out in harsh gasps. Just as my cock nestles in between them, his phone starts ringing from his pant’s pocket, and I groan but continue to glide my length along his ass crack.
“Ignore it.” His voice is gruff as he bends for me, making his ass more accessible.
“I missed this pretty pussy,” I groan as I continue to slide along his crack.
“Hurry up,” he pushes against me again. I line myself up and his phone starts ringing again, making him straighten up. “I should check it.”
He bends as I step back and pulls up his pants, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “Shit,” he mutters and swipes it open. “Yeah?” I pull my pants up and buckle my belt just as a strangled, “no,” escapes him. He falls against the counter and I already know what’s being said even before my phone pings with a message. “Where?” Dixon chokes out as I read Delano’s text.
He’s dead.
Nothing more than that and I delete it, putting my phone away. Dixon’s phone falls from his hand and crashes against the tile on the kitchen floor. I stand there watching him, my heart sinking, and my stomach rolling. He takes a step forward - forgetting about his injury - and falls to the floor with a scream. I rush to help him up but he pushes me off, tears streaming down his face, and his chest bouncing with the force of his sobbing.
“What happened?” I sit beside him.
“My brother.” He croaks, “I need to get to him.”
I pull out my phone and call a cab, telling them to hurry.
Dixon
As the cab races us toward the hospital, I call my mother, and hear her voicemail for the third time in a row. It can’t be him, the police don’t know for sure, and I’m on my way to identify the body. They found it down by the marina, inside a boat, and with a bullet hole between its eyes. It can’t be my brother.
I have Sebastian with me and he’s quiet as he taps furiously into his phone. Maybe he’s texting his wife. A large wave of guilt threatens to be the straw that breaks my fucking back but I breathe through it. I can’t deal with this shit right now, I need to get a hold of my mother, and then I need to pray that it's not my brother dead on a gurney.
“You don’t have to be here for this,” I tell Sebastian and he quickly looks up from his phone. “We barely know each other.”
“I don’t see anyone else with you,” he growls, “and tell me one more damn time that we barely know each other, I fucking dare you.”
I chance a quick look at the cab driver and keep my mouth shut. Sebastian would have no qualms airing it all out because I’m being stubborn and I can’t have another thing on my plate right now.
“Besides,” he continues, “you can’t walk.”
I scoff, knowing I have the crutch with me, and continue to keep my mouth shut because regardless of what I’m saying, I need someone with me. My mother still works the night shift at a clothing factory and she’s not allowed calls while she’s on the floor. I don’t know when her break is and it looks like I’ll have to call the factory to ask for her.
I’m staring at my phone, debating whether I should do it when Sebastian’s voice breaks my thoughts, “wait until you see the body.”
“I have a bad feeling.” I mutter.
“Do you know what happened? Why was he down there at the marina? If it was him.” He asks me.
“My brother has never been the type of kid that wanted to change his future, where we came from you had two choices, be in a gang or make yourself great. I wanted to make my family great.” I don’t think I’m making any sense but I hear him grunt in response.
“Gang life isn’t all bad, it’s a family, and for some the only family they have. It’s admirable that you wanted that and at a young age, but don’t blame yourself for your brother’s decisions.”
“If I was there, then I maybe could’ve prevented this.” I argue with him.
“If you were there, then you both may have been shot in the head, and your mother would have no one.”
“Football was for them.” I murmur and drop my face in my hands.
“No,” his hand wraps around my forearm, “football was meant for you. Why do you think I hated you so much in the beginning? Here was this rookie showing up and he had records that put us seasoned players to shame. Football is for you, don’t misconstrue what you’ve achieved.”
I know his words are true, I’m just having a hard time believing them, and I’m drowning in an ocean of guilt. Danny has been missing for two weeks and the cops only recently filed the missing person’s report because he was a known runaway with gang affiliates. I should’ve pushed harder and made people search for him, I have the means to do it now. I just always thought he’d be back home at some point, like he always is.
The car pulls up to the hospital and Sebastian helps me out, then slings my arm over his shoulder. He carries my crutch in one hand and then helps me walk into the hospital. After that, it’s a blur of cops and nurses, then going down to the basement. It’s cold and it smells like death, my body begins to shake with fear. Sebastian stops me in front of the morgue doors and grabs my chin.
“Stay strong.”
I give him a quick nod and take my crutch, placing it under my arm. It feels like time is moving too slowly, all my movements weighted, and my head heavy. I acknowledge the cop who opens the door and I’m blasted with a rush of cool air. I turn to look once more at Sebastian and he gives me a look over as he leans against the wall, he’s not leaving me. That gives me the strength I need to walk inside and when the door bangs behind me, I take a deep breath.
The metal table in front of me has a body on it and it’s covered in a sheet. Nothing is visible and I swallow hard when the cop nods to the ME to pull back the sheet. I see the hair first, it’s grown out a lot, and then the forehead, with the hole in the center. I can feel the lasagna I ate working its way up from my stomach but I force it down. Stay strong.
I close my eyes and hear the rustling of the sheet as it moves down the body, when the sound stops, I open my eyes. My eyes fill with tears and I can’t seem to focus on the face. I take a few steps closer and when I look down, my heart breaks. I can’t see anything and I can’t hear anything, save the scream ripping from my throat.
