Grumpy Alien King by Celeste King
Xxuric
My mind was still spinning from dinner. The sparks between Heather and I were intense, and without a thought, I moved towards the small bar area in my den.
I downed one drink and began to pour another when I noticed a file out of the corner of my eye. I turned to look at my desk, and examined the folder as I walked closer.
HEATHER was written in bold red letters across the front of the dossier, and a vial rested next to it. I picked up the cylinder first, and noticed a small label reading vitals. I decided to pop it into my genetic reader to see if there is any way she and my son would be compatible.
While the system studied the information, I leafed through her folder. It didn’t tell me much more about Heather than she already had. Only child, aging parents, from Earth, exceptionally well trained.
It did include all sorts of diagrams and genetic dispositions. I started to examine them, studying how they seemed to be vaguely familiar, but I could not determine why her genetic sequencing was striking me so.
A ding sounded from beside me, and I turned to read the results. My jaw slammed into my chest, and my heart nearly dropped out of my ass. I could not believe what was before my eyes.
There was no chemistry between Heather and Dahrial. It would be nearly impossible for them to be more than civil towards each other. My son was nothing like me.
“Holy shit,” I whispered into the silence.
Heather was my perfect genetic match.
So many things clicked into place at that moment. My instant attraction for her, the indescribable pull between us, the way that I was so curious about more than just her body. It all made sense.
Quickly, though, panic and a touch of guilt set in. I ordered this bride for my son, who seemed lonely. It was truly an act of love deep down, even if initially I wanted to bring my boy into manhood.
How could I be a match to this random person, a human at that? I could have never imagined I would have found my match, not once a million years would I have believed it.
For years I had believed that not everyone had a match. It just didn’t seem as if someone like me would be marriage material. Yet, here it was, staring me in the face.
Never before had I been jealous, even when Jaxil and I had competed for women. It had always been in good fun.
Now, I didn’t know what to do.
As if the mere thought of him had summoned the bastard, my phone began to vibrate. Jaxil’s name appeared across my screen with a vulgar picture of him one drunken night behind it.
Suddenly, I realized how stupid I had been. It was Jaxil the whole time. He was the one talking up how hot she was, trying to rile me up. He was definitely the one behind the tube of fake “vitals.”
He was pranking me, of course. It was in his nature. We always had a brotherly back and forth, and inevitably a prank war would break out every few years. I should’ve known he would’ve seen this as an opportunity.
I picked up the phone on what must’ve been the last ring, heat echoing through my body as I lifted the speaker to my ear.
“What?”
He didn’t seem to notice the rage in my voice, though I did not try to hide it.
“Xxuric!” He exclaimed, and I cringed. Oh, boy. He was drunk. Loud crashes, screaming people, and deafening music nearly overpowered his voice. “You’ve got to get here, man.”
“Where are you?”
“Orbit! That new bar that just opened up downtown. It is crawling with the hottest chicks I have ever seen!” A shrill giggle blasted through the phone as he said it.
“I’m not coming out with you.”
“What?” His voice sounded a little taken aback. “Why not?”
“I found your stupid little prank, Jaxil. It was not funny.”
There was a long pause, and suddenly it was noticeably quieter. “What prank?”
His voice echoed, and I assumed he had moved to the bathroom.
“You know what prank. The dossier? The vitals?”
“I hate to break it to you, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Just give it a rest, Jaxil. I already found the damn thing.”
“I really think you do need to come out tonight. Something’s clearly getting to you.”
“You are!” My voice lowered into a growl. “Just admit it, and we can move past it.”
I didn’t know if that was true. I was enraged by the way I felt when I realized Heather couldn’t be my match. I wasn’t sure why, but it deeply bothered me. I didn’t know if I could get past the idea that she was not meant to be with my son.
“I have nothing to admit.”
“How did the file get into my den in the first place?”
Jaxil blew out an exasperated breath. “Hell if I know. You have a million security guards around your company. There’s not telling, but I am not the only one with easy access to your house.”
I paused, chewing over what he had said. Usually, he would have confessed by now, but he was adamant. Maybe he was telling the truth for once. If there was anything that could make him talk, though, it was booze.
“I’ve got three chicks waiting out there for me. I don’t have time to sit around and listen to your nonsense. What happened to my best friend?”
I grinned a little. “Only three?”
He howled, a rumble of a deep belly laugh echoing through the end. “Well, I was trying to save some for you. You need all the help you can get. I just can’t seem to get your sorry ass out here.”
“My bad, man. I’ll be there in twenty.”
