Grumpy Alien King by Celeste King
Heather
I’d trained for slurping at Mandasporian dinner parties, hand to hand combat with tentacled aliens, Gilandian royal etiquette (which involved a suspicious amount of body oil), and even Potakan funeral procedures, which could potentially involve my burning in a pyre with my dead husband (as much as I love my parents, I’d come up with a Plan B for that one).
Nothing prepared me for this.
My cheeks burned. This giant horned alien jock seriously bent me over his lap like a misbehaving brat, when his dude fired on me.
Worst of all, the blows were insulting. Jiggian hit harder. Hell, a molting Renuvian hit harder than his tepid smacks.
“Is that seriously all you’ve got?”
His hand faltered for a moment, before he renewed his spanks with vigor.
And that.
Well.
Holy shit.
He could tear me apart in like, two seconds, if he wanted.
His smacks against my ass became audible, and the slight pain morphed into a warm, all over glow. Endorphins. Huh. Maybe that’s why people got into this. I certainly wouldn’t say no if it ever came up again.
Ugh, even the people watching were a turn-on.
This was all infuriating.
He held me in his lap, completely helpless… okay, so I knew twenty different ways to leverage myself out of his hold. Still, with his hard-on for obedience, I doubted there was a way to escape his grasp and still keep our engagement. There had to be some way to get back at my future husband for this, without getting sent back to Teshie’s in disgrace.
I wriggled a bit on the next blow, and realized I wasn’t the only one enjoying it. Obedience gave him a literal hard-on.
His dick poked at my hip, massive and eager.
I looked back at him and wriggled again, slowly. Beads of sweat dotted his brow. I moved again, just to hear his breath catch.
He jerked to his feet, and pulled me in front of him, neatly concealing his erection.
I smiled, smug, until he opened his mouth.
Oh, Gods, now it was time for a lecture. His booming voice droned on about the importance of obedience, and loyalty, and blah blah blah. Judging by the faces in the crowd, we’d all rather get spanked than endure his speeches.
“There can be no honor without discipline! Our ancestors did not defeat the Grilk with laziness and insubordination!” He was really on a roll now. I managed to keep my eyes from rolling, because I was a professional, but I subtly pressed my ass right against his dick and ground it against him. He choked on his next words. “D...discipline and obedience are...essential. Consider this a warning. Years ago, I would devour those who failed me!”
I wouldn’t mind if you ate me.
Maybe, like. A little nibble.
“Son!”
A smaller, bookish looking Sanax man meekly approached. He didn’t meet my eyes. “Yes, Father?”
I felt a pang of sympathy. He looked like he’d rather be dipping his toes in lava than standing in front of his father and his new bride. His shoulders hunched by his ears, sulky as a wet cat. I wondered if he’d recently lost his mother, or if there had been some bitter divorce.
Teshie’s had trained us for anything. I’d taken lessons on how to connect with step-children. I kept my smile soft and encouraging.
“I am Xxuric,” my future husband boomed. “This is my son, Dahrial. You should consider yourself very lucky indeed that he is even considering marrying you after the embarrassment you just caused.”
Wait, what?
I looked at Xxuric, who still stood behind me. I took a small step forward, and he seemingly got the hint and eased himself back, as well.
I was just grinding on my future father-in-law.
And from what I knew about Sanax culture, they did not like to share.
We hadn’t covered what to do when you accidentally dry hump your father-in-law in front of a room full of people, including your future husband, right before the wedding.
I fell back on formal etiquette and gave him my best Sanax bow. The movements were not made to be easy for humans to perform, and it had taken me more than a month to perfect it. Every motion was precise and controlled.
I hadn’t stepped forward enough. I brushed Xxuric as I bent down, and, yep, still hard. Still gigantic, distracting, distressing and somehow enticing. It didn’t help that my ass still stung from his blows. It really didn’t help that my mind took itself on a nice fairy tale adventure entitled Rebellious Human Woman Spanked Again for Displeasing Sanax Billionaire.
I straightened, and now neither of them could look at me. I was trained for sparking conversation with hundreds of different beings of varying ranks and status, and now I’d conjured a heavy, awkward silence without even trying.
Well, this is going fantastic. I could run some seminars at Teshie’s after this: How to Ruin Your Wedding Assignment in Ten Minutes or Less!
It could have been useful for those unfortunate girls assigned to Potakans.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Dahrial.” I kept my face smooth and welcoming. “My name is Heather, and I’m thrilled to become your wife.”
Xxuric mumbled something that sounded like, “I’ll bet you are,” and Dahrain mumbled something completely incoherent. Like father, like son.
Great. My father-in-law-to-be thought I was some kind of nymphomaniac, and my future husband looked like he wanted to ship me back to the agency on the next available shuttle. The hulking Sanax grunted at both of us and left.
Charming.
Nothing was going according to plan. If I didn’t want my parents to lose their money, I needed to turn this around fast.
“So, Dahrial,” I purred, “would you like to join me somewhere more private so we can get to know each other?”
He reluctantly nodded, but he looked like he’d just swallowed a sour poma.
This is going to be harder than I thought.
