The Embrace by Vivian Wood

29

Iam in my home office, paging through a few spreadsheets about IndicaTech, when Lucas calls me from downstairs. I pick up my phone and answer.

“Hello?”

“It's me,” Lucas says. He sounds extremely annoyed. “What's with the changing of the security protocol? This guy downstairs says that I have to be invited in or some kind of nonsense like that.”

I shift in my seat and sigh. “Yeah, Kaia is still trying to work out exactly how unexpected guests should present themselves. Come on up.”

I punch a four digit number into my phone and hang up quickly. By the time Lucas comes up in the elevator, I am standing in the kitchen, brewing another pot of coffee.

He stalks into my living area and makes a beeline for the kitchen island. There he sets a smooth, perfectly rounded platinum vase down. I squint at the vase, wondering what the lid is keeping inside.

Lucas doesn't have anything to say about the vase. No, he is still hung up on my security protocols.

“So? What's with the new security guard downstairs?”

I heave a sigh and shake my head. “Kaia mentioned in passing that she has been feeling unsafe recently since she cut her dad off. And since she lives here now…”

“It sounds like you two are on again, then.”

“When were we off?” My lips twitch. “If you must know, we've even talked about the E word.”

He squints off over my shoulder. “Extrapolation? I don't know what the E word is.”

I snort. “Engagement. Apparently she does not think it's romantic when I guy gets down on one knee and hasn't actually talked to the girl in question about… You know, what his expectations are. Some kind of therapy mumbo-jumbo, I'm sure.”

“Hah! Well, at least you know. And I feel like that sets a number of things in motion.”

Leaning over the kitchen counter, I pour myself a cup of coffee. I turn and offer it to my brother but he shakes his head.

I sip my coffee and sigh. “Sometimes I think that Kaia and I speak two totally different languages. It's like she went to a handful of therapy sessions and now she thinks she has it all figured out. To be fair though, nothing that Kaia has said has been wrong…. Still, I don't like it.”

Lucas crosses his arms and leans back against the wall. “So no therapy for you, then? I thought that maybe after Anita and that whole thing you would maybe try to get some kind of…”

He trails off.

I look down at my coffee, my expression growing dark. “I don't need counseling. Sure, I overreact about things sometimes. But who doesn't? I think I'm normal.”

Lucas blows out a long breath. “I don't think that normal is really the right word for what you are.”

I look up at him with a smirk. “Not that I don't love your presence, but is there a reason that you came to visit me on a Tuesday afternoon?”

His mouth turns down at the corners. “Yeah. I came here for that.”

He nods at the vase.

I raise my eyebrows. “Do you want to give me a hint as to what that is?”

His lips thin. “It's full of Anita's ashes.”

My heart grinds to a halt in my chest for a long moment. I look at the vase… Well, urn, really. Although Anita was never once in her life the quiet type, Lucas chose a perfectly bland urn for her.

“God, she seems so small,” I say with a dark sense of wonder.

He just nods. “Yep.”

“Jesus,” I mutter. “What are you doing bringing her ashes here? I mean, of all the people that don't want to see her…”

Lucas drops his head. “Sorry. I just didn't know where to take her. It turns out that she was a witch to her extended family. They want nothing to do with her and told me to dump her remains in the trash. I just felt like…” He shrugs. “I don't know, everybody should have at least a little respect when they're dead.”

“Christ!” I exclaim. “What the fuck? What are we supposed to do with her?”

I turn around and open a cabinet, pulling a bottle of whiskey down. I pour a little into two tumbler classes and then hand one to my brother. “Here.”

He takes a sip quietly, his eyes tracking me as I pace back and forth around the kitchen island.

“She would like this, you know.” He raises his glass. “A toast to Anita. She gave us many things in our lives, most of them pretty toxic.”

I hesitate and then lift my glass. “Cin-cin.”

I take a sip of whiskey and it burns all the way down my gullet. I take a quick breath after and relish the burn.

In my heart of hearts, I know that Lucas is right. I know that this moment, the agony of having to mourn her… Anita would live for it.

“So?” Lucas says, looking at me carefully. “Rethinking your stance on therapy yet?”

I shoot him a glare and sip the whiskey again. “Nope. By the way, you can't leave Anita here. You have to take her with you. I never thought that she would ever see the inside of my apartment.”

He frowns and puts his forefinger out, nudging the urn. “I’m sorry. I shouldn't have brought her here. I just didn't know where else to go. It seemed disrespectful to leave her ashes in the car.”

“Want a refill?” I shoot the last quarter of my glass of whiskey and then pour myself another dram.

Lucas hesitates for a second then shakes his head.

“No, I don't think so. I have to figure out what the buck I'm going to do with her.”

“May I suggest storing her at those bus terminal storage lockers? That seems appropriate.” I take another long gulp of the whiskey. It doesn't even burn this time.

Lucas snorts. “She would hate that.”

I slam my glass down and look at him sternly. “Anita is dead. Who cares what she would or would not have liked?”

He gives me a careful look and finishes his whiskey, sliding the glass across the counter toward me. “I think I’ll store her ashes in a safety deposit box until I figure something else out.”

“Maybe you should just dump her down the drain,” I grouse. “You shouldn't waste another second trying to respect her wishes. Hell, who even knows what her wishes were?”

Lucas crosses his arms. “She didn’t tell you anything when you saw her for the last time?”

I shake my head. “Nope. She did tell me that she wished me a good life. Whatever the hell good that's supposed to do me.”

He purses his lips. “Anita left most of her fortune to you, in case you didn't know.”

I look down at my hands where they rest on the counter. They are trembling and I suddenly feel utterly useless.

“I don't want her money,” I growl.

He lifts a shoulder in a shrug. “So donate it to a good cause. Underprivileged kids or something. Make her death mean something good for a lot of people.”

I glance up at Lucas, beseeching him with my eyes. “Why didn't she just give her money to you? You were the golden child. I don't understand her any more now than I ever did when she was alive.”

He pulls a face. “I don't know. Clearly there was a ton of stuff that I wasn't a party to. When you told me about her little bargain for taking care of us, I realized that I would probably never understand her way of thinking.”

His smartwatch starts beeping and he looks at it, clearing a notification. “Fuck. If I don't get moving, I will be late for my final meeting with the Tokyo office.” He looks up at me. “This is the final arbitration of our agreement.”

“I’m glad to say that I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I hold my glass up to salute him. “I wish you luck. I want to say that I'm jealous but we both know that I'm not.”

“Yes, well.” He sucks in a deep breath and scans the kitchen. He doesn't appear to like what he sees. “When is Kaia getting home from rehearsing?”

I smirk at him a little. “No idea. Why, are you concerned for my well-being all of the sudden?”

He frowns. “Now that you asked me so bluntly, I think I am. I just don't want you to be alone with your grief for very long.”

I wave him off. “What are you talking about? I'm the older brother. I protect you. Not the other way around.”

He nods to my nearly empty whiskey glass. “Do me a favor? Go easy on that stuff. I don't want you to get so drunk that you do something you will regret later.” He pauses, hesitating. “Also, be nice to Kaia. Especially if you are going to continue drinking. Okay?”

I scowl at him and drain the last dregs from my tumbler. “Fuck off.”

“That's a funny way of telling me that you love me too.” He picks up the urn with a single palm, hefting Anita as he heads out the door. I glower after him and watch him go.

When the door closes behind him, I pour myself another glass of whiskey. Not quite sure what to do with myself, I wander around the apartment for a while. It grows darker outside, the sun finally beginning to set over the gleaming skyscrapers that mark Manhattan's skyline.

Inside I am just festering, seething, roiling. I'm not even sure why exactly.

Maybe it's because my sanctuary has been compromised today. Or maybe it's because Anita was a horrible human being… but she was also the only caring soul in a dark time in my life. My emotions keep sloshing around inside of me like too much alcohol, one minute rage and the next minute an endless well of sadness.

I break my promise to my brother almost immediately by not tempering my drinking at all. Everything soon grows fuzzier and the world seems to have softer edges than it did before.

It's a little easier to deal with myself now. I don't know how tomorrow will go. I'm just doing whatever I can to blunt the feelings that are simmering inside my body, threatening to rise up and pour out my mouth and nose.

By the time that Kaia comes home, I'm officially sauced. I'm lying on the bare floor in the spare bedroom, my gaze turned toward the window. I'm looking at the twinkle of the lights coming from the buildings around mine.

I hear her voice coming from the kitchen. “Calum? Calum, are you home?”

I try to sit up but gravity soon pulls me back to earth. I groan and roll onto my side.

“Calum?”

“Kaia,” I bleat.

I hear her footsteps coming closer. She flips on the overhead light and then sees the state I am in. Her expression is befuddled.

“Oh Calum… She sighs. “Jesus. Lucas texted me telling me to come home early but there was no way around rehearsal tonight. I see that I should've just called out sick.”

I shrug, or I try to at least. “It's fine. It's all fine.”

Kaia disappears for a moment and then she reappears with a pillow. Kneeling down beside me, she tucks the pillow under my head. “Is that better?”

“It's good.” I hug her leg awkwardly. “Lucas brought Anita here.”

“He did what now?” She cocks her head.

“In an urn. Can you believe it? The bitch finally got here but she had to die first.” A laugh bubbles up from deep in my chest.

“Oh, honey.” Kaia leans forward and brushes my hair back.

I look up at her and am suddenly struck by how pretty she is.

“God you’re beautiful,” I blurt out. “You're so beautiful. What'd I ever do to deserve you?”

She frowns a little bit. “Maybe I should get you a glass of water. Does that sound good?”

I shake my head. “No. I want you to say here. I want it to be just you and me. Just us two, together forever. That's what sounds good to me.”

She quietly sucks in a breath. She seems pensive but whatever she's thinking, she keeps it to herself.

I catch her hand and bring it to my chest, trapping it against my heart. “Do you feel that? That's my heartbeat.”

She smiles softly. “I know that.”

I look up at her, admiring her beauty again. “I love you. Did you know that?”

That brings a smile back to her lips. “I did. I have a question for you, though. How did you get so drunk?”

I let out a little laugh. “I don't know. How did you get so pretty?”

She rolls her eyes at me. “And here I thought that we were going to have to talk about serious matters when I got home…”

“What serious matters?” I ask. The world tilts dangerously and I shut my eyes.

She breathes a sigh. “It'll keep until tomorrow.”

“Are you sure?” I ask.

“Yep.” She grabs my hand and brings it to her lips. Then she lets me go and I hear her getting up.

“Where are you going?” I complain.

“I’m just going to grab us both a glass of water and snag some more pillows. I thought that maybe we could make a bed on the floor. Okay?”

I smile at her. “Okay. That sounds good. You’re too good for me.”

She walks away and I listen to the pitter patter of her feet on the hardwood floor.

I am lucky to have her, I think to myself. I roll onto my back and begin to sink into darkness.