Heart and Soul by Carrie Elks

31

He was pursuing her. That’s the only way she could describe it. Not in an icky, overt kind of way, but in a sweet, friendly fashion that was making her heart ache. If he went out for a coffee, he’d bring her one back exactly the way she liked it. If she was overrun at the ice cream shop, he’d dive in and help, looking way too hot in the plastic gloves that she’d given him.

And then there was Isla. For the last four weeks, he’d taken her down to the pool and helped her hone her dives, telling Meghan it was her chance to have a break for a while. And when they’d come up, their skin pink from the heat and hair wet and smelling of chlorinated water, she’d ask him if he’d like to come in for a drink and he’d always say no, then he’d leave them to it.

He was giving her space, and she knew it was the right thing, but it made her ache. Because the attraction between them hadn’t disappeared. If anything, it was even stronger.

He’d revealed his vulnerability to her, and it made him a hundred times more attractive. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could hold out.

The last weeks of the tourist rush were leading to a bigger footfall than ever, which meant all hands on deck in the shop, especially on a busy Saturday like today. Rich had apologized about ten times that he couldn’t help out because he was working a day shift. She’d shooed him away and called in all her casual staff, then asked her parents to take Isla for the weekend.

By the time she’d served her final sundae, her whole body ached. That didn’t stop her from smiling as Harper walked into the shop, her long blonde-and-pink hair flowing down her back, a pretty yellow-and-white vintage fifties-style dress flaring out around her thighs.

“Thank you for meeting me here,” Meghan said. “I was hoping I could get home and get changed in time, but it’s been non stop.”

“It’s been crazy everywhere today,” Harper agreed. “There was traffic coming in and out of town. And you could hardly see a grain of sand on the beach there were so many people.”

It was a little quieter now. The sun was still above the horizon, and its rays were still warming, but in another hour they would disappear for the night. Harper helped Meghan stack up the chairs and tables from outside, then she locked the door and turned the sign on it to ‘closed’, while Meghan ran into the office to change her clothes and touch up her makeup. When she emerged fifteen minutes later, fluffing her red hair around her shoulders, Harper let out a low whistle.

“If you can look like that after a few minutes, I’d hate to see how devastating you are after an hour.”

“I learned the art of quick changes after Isla was born.” Meghan grinned at her. “And I’ve sprayed so much damn perfume it’s sent my head spinning.”

Harper had booked them a table at Delmonico’s On The Pier, a pretty little Italian restaurant that Meghan kept meaning to try but never had. Their pasta was made on site, and was so delicious Meghan ate way too much. They also managed to get through a bottle of Prosecco plus some Limoncello shots between them, and were giggly as hell.

It felt good to spend time with a girl friend. A real estrogen rush she’d been missing. Grant and Kevin were great, and of course Gloria was always there for some gossip. But nothing beat having wine and food with a woman her age who knew exactly how it felt to be woken up in the middle of the night by a screaming baby.

“And then James decided it would be a great idea for Alyssa to wander around naked after her bath. Except he forgot to put the potty out, so Alyssa took the matter into her own hands,” Harper said, her nose wrinkling. “In the middle of the hallway. And he didn’t even notice.”

“Oh no.” Meghan grimaced. She had some potty training horror stories of her own.

“That’s not the worst part.” Harper waved her hand and leaned forward. “I only discovered it when I woke up from a nap and was rushing to the bathroom… in my bare feet.”

“You didn’t…” Meghan covered her mouth with her hand.

“Oh I did. Stepped right in it. Then started heaving in the middle of the damn hallway and threw up on the floor.” She shook her head. “James is still groveling. How he let her out of his sight for long enough to do that on the floor, I’ll never know.” She swallowed a mouthful of wine. “Tell me it gets better.”

“Oh it does,” Meghan reassured her. “I don’t even get called into the bathroom to admire what she’s made anymore.”

Harper almost spat out her wine. “Dear god, how did we end up like this? Talking about potty training on a girls’ night out.”

“I have no idea. But at least James is groveling. That must be nice.”

“He’s brought me coffee in bed every morning this week.” Harper nodded. “Talking of groveling, how’s it going with Rich?”

Meghan’s lips curled. “Good, I think. He’s been really kind to Isla, taking her swimming and helping with her science homework.”

“And how about you? Has he been kind to you?” Harper pulled her lip between her teeth.

“Yeah, he has.” She told Harper about him helping in the ice cream shop, and the way he’s brought her coffee whenever he went out. “He’s been so sweet.”

Harper sighed, putting her hands over her heart. “That’s more than sweet. That’s wooing.”

Meghan laughed. “That’s an old fashioned way of putting it.”

“Oh, I’d love to be wooed,” Harper said. “Like one of those black and white screwball comedies where Cary Grant is only nice to the heroine.”

She tried to imagine Rich in black and white, but failed miserably. He was too vibrant for that.

“So, when will you be wooed?” Harper asked her.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, what happens next? You can’t live like this forever, can you? It’s nice to get coffee and homework help, but don’t you want more?”

“More?”

“When are you going to kiss him?” Harper lowered her voice. “Or do other stuff?”

Meghan blushed. “I don’t know. He hasn’t made a move.”

“Have you?” Harper tipped her head to the side. “Because this is the twenty-first century. And maybe he doesn’t want to push you.”

“I haven’t, no.” Meghan’s brows scrunched. “Do you really think he’s waiting for me?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he’s playing the long game. But how long do you want to wait?”

Meghan took a sip of her drink. The memory of their last meeting – in the elevator up to the tenth floor – flashed through her mind. Isla had been with them, but she could still feel the pull toward him. And when she’d looked his way, he had been staring right at her, his gaze so intense it took her breath away. She hadn’t been able to look away. Thank goodness Isla was too busy on her iPad to notice the way they were looking at each other.

“I don’t know how long I want to wait,” she admitted.

“So what’s stopping you from going home and knocking on his door tonight? You don’t have Isla, do you?”

Meghan shook her head. “No, she’s at my folks until tomorrow.” She swallowed hard. “He might be at work.”

“He’s not. James spoke to him earlier.”

“Oh.” Meghan’s heart started to hammer against her ribcage. Harper was right, there was only so long they could keep this thing between them to only friendship. She wanted more, and she knew he did, too. But there was still this voice in her head telling her that he could hurt her again. That she needed to be sure to guard her and Isla’s hearts from the man who had the power to turn their lives upside down.

She exhaled heavily. “I guess I need to think about that.”

“I guess you do. In the meantime, let’s get the check.” Harper smiled over at the waitress. “We should definitely do this again some time.”

“I’d like that.”

Harper winked. “Maybe next time we could make it a double date.”

* * *

The tenth floor was silent as Meghan stepped out of the elevator. She glanced at Gloria’s door, then over at Grant and Kevin’s, before walking determinedly to Rich’s apartment door and lifting her hand up to knock on the wood.

But then she had second thoughts and stepped back. Maybe she’d talk to him in the morning instead. Or send him a message. As she slinked back to her own apartment and let herself in, she shook her head at her trepidation.

Five minutes later, she’d taken her dress off and was in the shower, letting the hot spray wash over her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, but nothing could stop her heart from racing in her chest.

They needed to talk, she knew that. And one of them had to make the first move. Last month, he’d been vulnerable, told her about his family and the fears he had of not being good enough. Of hurting others the way he believed he’d hurt his sister.

And he’d asked her to give him a chance.

Now she was the scared one. She blinked her eyes, grabbing her bottle of shampoo, and rubbed it in furiously as she thought about that.

She was afraid of being hurt. Of Isla getting hurt, too. But she knew that fear stopped you from living the way you wanted to live. It stopped you from being honest, from being open to good things.

It was stopping her from telling him she loved him.

Once she’d washed out her conditioner, she turned the shower off and toweled herself dry, grabbing a pair of fresh pajamas from the drawer beside her bed. She looked at herself in the mirror, at her freshly scrubbed face, her red hair made darker by the dampness, and the short pajamas that barely covered her.

She had to talk to him.

That was the only way to move forward. She took a deep breath, and picked up her phone. She’d call him. That way he had an out if he needed it. But before she could press his name on the screen she heard a knock at her door.

Her hands shook as she pushed down the handle. It didn’t shock her to see him standing on the other side, wearing a pair of grey sweats and a black t-shirt that molded to his torso. But it still made her heart jump the way it always did when he was around.

“Hey.” He gave her a half smile. “I saw you outside my door earlier. I just wanted to check that you’re okay.”

She took a deep breath, willing her heart to slow down for a goddamn moment. “No, I’m not okay. Can you come in? We need to talk.”

* * *

He wasn’t sure there was a more beautiful sight in the whole world than Meghan Hart wearing shortie pajamas, with her wet hair brushed back from her gorgeous heart-shaped face. It took everything he had not to touch her. Because that’s all he could think about right now. The smell of her shampoo filled his senses, making his heart thud against his chest.

“What’s wrong?” he asked her as he stepped into her apartment, closing the door softly behind him.

She took a deep breath. “I don’t know.” Her hands were still shaking. She looked down at them, frowning. “I guess I’m afraid.”

“What of? Has someone hurt you?” He blinked. “Is it Carlyn? Has she contacted you?” His hands curled into fists.

She shook her head. “It’s not Carlyn. It’s me. I’m afraid of me.”

“Why are you afraid of yourself?”

“Because I’m in love with you, and I’m scared I’m going to end up getting hurt.”

The knife that had been lodged in his heart for the past few months loosened itself, and for the first time in forever it felt easy to breathe.

She loved him. It felt like the biggest prize he’d ever been given. He couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

“You have no idea how much I needed to hear that. I love you, too, sweetheart.” He reached out to cup her face. Her skin felt warm and damp. “And you don’t need to explain to me about being afraid. I get it. More than anybody else in the world. But I’m never going to hurt you again. I couldn’t stand it. I want to protect you, not hurt you. Love you, not scare you.” He inhaled softly. “You’re it for me. I wake up at crazy hours, and it’s always you I see there. You’re it for me, Meghan. And you don’t know how goddamned good it feels to know you feel the same.”

He lifted his other hand, cradling her face in his palms, dropping his head until his brow was touching hers. He could feel the warm breath escaping from her trembling lips, and the flutter of her eyelashes against his skin.

“So you want me?” she whispered.

“Want is such a weak word to describe how I feel about you. And need is wrong, too. When I look at my future, I see you and Isla in it. Center stage. The two of you goofing around in my kitchen, or laughing at me when I bomb into the swimming pool. I want to be the reason you smile, the person who’s always by your side. I want to be part of you, the way you’re already part of me.”

She inhaled a ragged breath. “You already are. You have been for a while.”

“That’s all I need to hear.” He smiled softly at her. “So now the rest is just details. When we decide to move in together. When we get married.” He winked to let her know he was joking. “When we tell Isla, which I guess we should do before any of those things.”

She laughed. “I guess we should. And I want to tell her soon.”

His eyes flashed. “So do I.” Because he wasn’t sure he could hold back from touching her every time they passed in the hallway or rode up the elevator. Now that he knew she felt the same way he did, he never wanted to let her go. “Is Isla here?”

She shook her head. “No, she’s at my parents house until tomorrow.” There was a half-smile on her face that he wanted to kiss away. “We’re all alone right now.”

“We are?” He tucked a stray lock of wet hair behind her ear. She shivered at his touch, and damn if that didn’t make him want her more. “That’s interesting.”

She tipped her head to the side. “It is?”

“Yeah.” He closed his eyes and breathed her in. “I’m so glad I knocked on your door. And that you almost knocked on mine.”

Meghan bit down a smile. “This time I was the one who was scared. And you were the one who was brave.”

“Maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be.” He brushed his lips against her temple. “Us supporting each other. When one stumbles, the other one holds them up.”

“I like the sound of that.” She tipped her head up, her eyes shining bright.

“Me too.” He traced the line of her jaw with his thumb, then feathered it along her bottom lip. He replaced his finger with his mouth, his lips connecting with hers, kissing her hard and deep the way he’d been dreaming of for weeks.

She curled her arms around his neck, her soft body arching into his, and he felt desire pumping through him. His tongue slid against hers, his hand sliding down her back to pull her against him. He groaned when he felt her heated skin through the thin fabric of her pajamas. She was so warm and ready and completely accessible.

“Take me to bed,” she whispered, and he felt himself begin to throb against her.

“Are you sure?”

She nodded. “I’m sure.”

He kissed her again, lifting her with ease, and her legs wrapped around his waist. Then he did what she requested, carrying her to the bedroom and kicking the door open so he could walk inside.

And when he laid her down on the bed, he had to take a breath and stare at her for a moment. To marvel that this woman he loved so much was also in love with him.

They were going to spend the rest of their lives together, starting now, and it felt like the best gift he’d ever been given.

He wasn’t afraid, he was exhilarated. So in love it made his body ache. He climbed over her, kissing her again, and he knew that she was it for him. He’d found the love of his life in the apartment next door to his, and this time he wasn’t going to let her go.

And from the way she held him, her lips moving against his, Meghan felt exactly the same.