Giving Away by Lola King

CHAPTER 17

‘I know this cold love won’t lead me to the Lord

Although I’m black and blue, I’m begging you for more’

Chainsmoking – Jacob Banks

Jamie

I’m on the sidewalk before Jake even parks. As soon as he called me, I got ready to hop in his car. It’s late by the time he gets here, and I’ve done nothing but worry today. After getting home, letting mom know I was okay, and showering, my day consisted of laying down on my bed, checking my phone every five minutes, texting Jake every ten, and trying to get as much sleep as possible, which turned out to be pretty much nothing.

He doesn’t come out to open the door for me and my stomach twists. That means he’s not well enough to get out of the car and walk easily. I sit down in the passenger seat and turn to him. I know he can read my concern. Since Jake found me and Nate talking at Cal’s party, it has been tattooed on my face in permanent ink.

I open my mouth to say something, but he grabs the back of my neck and pulls me toward him so quickly all I can do is hitch a breath before his lips crash on mine. His tongue crosses my lips to find my desperate one before his teeth possess my lower lip. When we separate, I’m panting, and my stomach is twisted with pleasure.

“I missed you,” he whispers. His lips are hovering over mine and his eyes staring at my mouth hungrily.

“How are you feeling?” I ask. His eye is puffy now. “You should put ice on this.” I point at his face and he gives me a small smile.

“I did. I’m so sorry about yesterday. I’m sorry for the stress and worry but I’m okay. I promise.”

I have a million questions for him. Did he go to Washington D.C.? Is Rose alright? Did he see a doctor? How did he get back to Stoneview? What’s going to happen with Nate now? I want to ask so much, but I don’t want to remind him this is all my fault.

I hold his hand over the gear stick and smile my most genuine smile. He starts the car and pulls away.

‘I’m in love with you’, my eyes say when he glances at me. I’m dying to tell him. Not because I want to hear it back but because I want him to know someone loves him unconditionally.

“What are your plans for Christmas?” I ask, trying to bring up a new topic. One that will have us looking forward to something rather than look back on the darkness that has started to creep into our lives. “I think mom wants me to go to Tennessee, she won’t be able to come but we can’t exactly afford a plane ticket at the moment.”

“If you want to be with your mom for Christmas, I’ll get you a ticket, Angel,” he replies like this is nothing to him.

I choke on a laugh and stare at him with wide eyes.

“There’s no way I’d ever let you buy something like that for me. I’ll look at the busses.”

It’s his turn to laugh at my idea.

“Absolutely no fucking way. You think I’m going to let you take a ten-hour bus ride to another state on your own? Please.”

My mouth falls open at his nerve. How many times must we have this conversation? How many times do I have to explain that this kind of behavior is not acceptable? I know how he is in the bedroom. I know he needs his shot of alpha bullshit every once in a while, but I’ve already told him bedroom is all he gets.

“Jake,” I say calmly. “You don’t let me do anything. Remember?”

I can see his hands gripping the wheel harder and I know it’s not the moment to have this conversation. He’s been through enough in the past twenty-four hours. We both have.

“It doesn’t matter. You’re not getting on such a long trip on your own. Anything could happen.”

Anger bubbles in me when I see he’s not letting go and I can’t let this slip.

“I think I’m independent enough to decide what is safe for me or not.”

“I think if you keep contradicting me with that pretty mouth of yours, you’re going to choke on my dick before we get home.”

I don’t control the pleasure warming my lower belly at his crude words and the lopsided cocky smile on his face tells me he knows exactly what he’s doing. My clit tingles and I squeeze my thighs together to find some release but there’s no point.

“Does that make you wet, Angel? When I tell you you’re gonna choke on my dick?”

I ignore his statement and turn my blushing face to the window.

“You love when I order you around way too much to say that I can’t tell you what to do,” he chuckles.

“Quiet,” I mumble. “You’re beaten up and we haven’t slept much in the last twenty-four hours. We’re going to yours and we’re chilling, that’s it.”

He doesn’t reply. He knows I’m bluffing. We both know after what happened, he needs to take back control over something. We both know that something is me.

As soon as Jake closes the door to the pool house behind us, he grabs me by the waist and pulls me up. I wrap my legs around him, and he walks us to the room, his lips never leaving mine.

Every single time I have sex with Jake, I can’t believe he was my first time. Not because it was him. That’s not that surprising, I was always attracted to Jake – who isn’t? Just like any girl in Stoneview Prep, I had my eyes on him since he transferred to our school, even if I always kept my distance and pretended I wasn’t interested.

No, the reason I can’t believe it is because he was always rumored to be rough, controlling, and dominant. No love, just pure, raw fucking. He’s definitely all these things with me but our first time…it was magical. It was everything I didn’t expect from Jake. It was loving and comfortable and sexy. Everything I could have dreamed of but surely not something I would have ever thought Jake to be capable of.

Since then, he’s shown me how much he loves me through sex. It’s almost like I don’t need him to say it because he’s shown it through his kisses, the thrust of his hips, and his hands on my body. But tonight, Jake is not going to love me. I can feel the way his hands grip my hips. I can feel his teeth biting and sucking at my neck. Tonight, he wants to possess me, to own, to control. I can feel the way he wants to push us past limits we’ve put up before…and God am I ready for this.

He throws me on his bed and takes a step back. I wonder how he can handle me so easily. He doesn’t even look slightly in pain. It’s like now that he’s horny, adrenaline is back, his strength overtaking his battered body.

Jake crosses his arms over his chest, he’s wearing a tight white tee and dark blue jeans that hug his muscles perfectly. He looks like a Calvin Klein model.

“Clothes. Off,” he orders as he takes another step back and observes me carefully. I slowly unzip my hoodie and take it off one arm at a time. I go straight for my top and jeans until I’m in underwear in front of him. I push myself on my elbows and look at him.

His face is hard, but his eyes are burning with desire. “All of it.”

I unclasp my bra and throw it on the floor. In a few weeks, all my shyness has gone around Jake. He worships my body like I’m a Goddess and I’ve learned to listen when he wants to see it.

I get rid of the black lace G-string that I wore specifically for him and face him again. A satisfied growl bubbles in his chest and I can see the bulge forming in his jeans. Being stark naked when he’s still wearing all his clothes is strange but seeing the reaction it gets out of him makes it all worth it.

“I want to try new things with you tonight, Angel. But before we get to it, I want to make sure you know you can stop it anytime. You just have to say so. Do you understand? Because I will not repeat myself.”

My lower belly twists in pleasure and anticipation at his low voice. He’s got big things planned for us and just imagining what it could be is getting me wet. I nod as my mouth salivates at the idea of Jake showing me how much pleasure we can both get out of what he likes.

“Good,” he says in a wicked smile. “If you disobey tonight, you’re going to get punished. Got it?”

I nod again, my pussy more than ready for what he has in store. I trust him. Trust him with all my being. I know he’s got no other intention than to pleasure us both in the craziest ways.

“I’m glad we’re on the same page. Now get on your knees and rest that cute ass of yours on your heels.”

It takes me a second to register, but when his smile drops from his lips, I hurry into position.

“What have you got in mind exactly?” I ask in a wavering voice, half anxious, half yearning.

He slowly walks to me, puts a hand to the back of my neck, and leans down to put his lips against my ear.

“Complete. Control,” he whispers in a gravelly voice, vibrating with eagerness.

He leans back as I shiver with desire and takes a step back again.

“Now be a good girl and keep quiet. And when I say quiet, I mean not a sound. Every sound you make, I’ll punish you with a spank.”

I gasp in shock. He’s never done this with me before. I know he has with Camila, it’s not like she didn’t take pride in the rumors that were going around our school, which she probably started.

“One,” he smiles.

“Wait, I wasn’t read–”

“Two,” he cuts me off and I clamp my mouth shut. I’m not very good at this.

When he’s sure I’m not about to say anything else, he talks again. “Put your hands behind your back,” he commands.

I look deep into his eyes one last time. I trust him but I need to make sure I can go ahead with this without being hurt. And I mean emotionally. I’m about to give myself to him completely, like never before, and this is the most vulnerable I’ll ever be to him.

In the deep ocean of his eyes, I find lust and desire. I find a raging need for control and ownership. I find the demand for my submission, but mainly, I find the burning flame of his love for me. And that is the only thing I need, the rest I leave for him to handle.

I put my hands behind my back and hold them together like I assume he expects me too. The look of approval he gives me reassures me. It also makes me proud. I want to please him so badly it burns in me.

He walks out of view and the next thing I know the mattress dips behind me as I imagine he’s putting a knee on it. I feel a silky material between my wrists and arms and my wetness doubles in anticipation.

Where did Jake learn to do this? And when did I start loving it so much? He jerks at the material in a tight, controlled movement and I feel my wrists clash together. I inhale sharply at the surprise, making a breathless sound. It doesn’t hurt but it was so sudden, I didn’t expect it.

“Three,” he whispers in my ear and I bite my lip not to reply or make any more noise.

He steps away and comes into view. I test the knots he’s done behind my back but they’re sturdy. I should feel trapped and scared, but I don’t. I feel more liberated than ever because I’ve got total faith in Jake. He admires what he’s done with a hand stroking his chin. My shoulders are slightly pulling but nothing that hurts.

“You look beautiful. I hope you’re not too comfortable.”

I open my mouth to say something, but his smirk reminds me I’m not supposed to. So I raise a brow in question instead.

“It’s not supposed to be comfortable, Angel. I want you desperate for me to make it better.”

I’m not sure I follow. I thought he wanted to pleasure me, us. Why does he want me uncomfortable? As he says this, I realize the silk around my wrists is tighter than I thought. Slight panic overtakes me, and I know my gaze must be sharper because his is daring me to say something.

“Jake,” I whisper agitated. “Be considerate. I’ve never done this before.” I squirm in my bonds and he chuckles slightly.

“Four.”

I glare at him. “Just tell me why you want me to be uncomfortable.”

“Five. Do you want to stop? If not, you’re going to have to work harder at submitting, Jamie.”

My name on his lips is like a spell. The level of desire in his voice makes me shiver and my thighs clench without control. I shake my head no. I don’t want him to stop, I’m just struggling to give him absolute control. But I’ll learn. I can do it, I think.

His smile screams satisfaction. “Five it is, then.”

He grabs his desk chair and places it in front of the bed but doesn’t sit. Instead, he comes close to me and without warning, he dips a finger between my folds and relishes in the wetness. I gasp but manage to keep it soundless. The pleasure that surges from my lower belly makes my heart beat too fast for me to handle.

He leaves his finger there but doesn’t move it in the slightest. The pad of it is at my entrance and the rest touches me all the way to my clit. I can’t control my body when it starts squirming and thrusting to get friction, desperate for more, desperate for him to slide deeper.

“Stop moving,” he snaps, and I jump in surprise. “You get what I give you.”

I will myself to stop moving and he keeps his finger still for another few seconds before adjusting. It’s an insignificant gesture, barely anything, but it rips a moan from my throat. I’m craving for more. I feel trapped in the bonds and this is the release I need.

“Six,” he whispers and slides in. He goes as deep as his finger allows and I barely refrain a sound. Instead, my breathing hitches and my chest rises and falls in pants.

“Tonight, if you want to come, you’re going to have to beg so, so hard, Angel. And only I decide if I’m going to give it to you. Yes?”

I nod quickly, the more I agree, the more he’ll be good to me. Give me what I want.

“Good girl,” he comforts me.

I feel rewarded when he lifts his other hand and pinches my left nipple, rubbing, and tugging. Then my right. He brings his mouth to my neck, slowly descends, and makes sure to give both my peaks the attention they deserve.

His finger is still moving inside me and it’s overwhelming, but not nearly enough. I writhe under his touch, but I know he won’t give me what I need. I do my best to not say a word, not make a sound. I’m not exactly looking forward to six spanks but somehow, I know that Jake will make it pleasurable.

He retreats his hand and takes his top off, giving me hope that this little torture session is over. I smile at him, encouraging him to come close to me again but he sits on the chair he’s put in front of the bed.

What is he doing? He can’t just leave me like this after working me up. I’m panting and my mouth is desperate for his. I feel my brows furrowing as he undoes his jeans and his rock-hard cock springs free. My mouth salivates automatically. I have become a master at satisfying Jake’s dick, and I know he loves when I suck him off. But tonight, I can feel he won’t put himself in this position. He won’t let me have any power over him.

He strokes himself, still sitting down, watching me intently, his eyes drinking every inch of my body. I struggle to swallow, my throat suddenly tight, my entire body thirsty for him. I want to feel him, drink him, touch him, become one with him. I wriggle in my bonds, so desperate to reach for him but he tuts me.

“Let’s see how long you last,” he taunts.

How long I last? Before what? Before I cry desperately for him?

He keeps stroking himself and my insides clench in need. Fuck. He knows exactly what he’s doing. All I can do is watch him pleasuring himself and wish he will eventually come to pleasure me too. I’m left with nothing else to do but focus on him.

His messy inky hair, his dangerously deep ocean eyes. I drag my eyes to his hard jawline and his red lips. His square shoulders move to the rhythm of his slow strokes and I look down, dragging my gaze through his cut abs, they’re clenching and covered in bruises, which makes him even hotter at this moment. One of his hands is resting on his thigh and the other clenching at his hard cock. I can’t stop my mind from imagining and remembering all the things he can do with it.

I squirm, clench my thighs, move my hips, but nothing helps because it’s not Jake. My clit is swollen and throbbing, my pussy tight and desperate to be filled. My gaze is glued to Jake’s hand slowly moving up and down his shaft. He’s getting turned on by seeing me struggle and crave him. I lick my dry lips as he spreads pre-cum over his tip.

“You’re so beautiful.” His voice is husky and filled with need.

He’s torturing us both by staying where he is but he’s loving it too much to do anything.

After another minute of desperately clenching my thighs and trying to rub against something, my head falls forward and my hair hangs in front of my face.

“Please,” I whisper.

“Seven.”

My heart is strumming from my pussy and all the way to my ears. It skips a beat when I finally realize what he’s doing. He won’t touch me until I’ve begged with all I have. But every time I open my mouth to beg, the number of spanks gets higher. I thought I was at least in control of how many of those I’ll get but he knew what he was doing from the start. He’ll touch me only when he’s decided I’ve begged enough, when he’s reached the number he wants to give.

I keep quiet for another minute but the need for release becomes unbearable. There’s an ache deep in my body that only Jake can heal. My shoulders are in pain from the pull behind my back, my wrists are hurting, and my thighs are burning from holding the same position for so long.

I can feel pearls of sweat coming down my back and between my breasts. This is torture. Pure, pleasurable, torture. His words echo in my head; ‘It’s not supposed to be comfortable, Angel. I want you desperate for me to make it better.’ This is exactly what he wanted. I need him to make it better.

Jake finally gets up and takes his jeans and boxers off, throwing them on the floor, and the hope growing in my chest makes me want to cry tears of happiness. But when he sits back down and lazily grabs his dick back in his hand, I let out an uncontrollable whimper.

“Jake, please. I-I can’t take this anymore. I need you to touch me.” My chest is heaving.

He doesn’t get it. I’ve never felt like this before. Or maybe he gets it exactly. I would do anything for his touch right now. I’ll beg all he wants, I’ll take as many spanks as he wants to give, I’ll cry, I’ll scream…I just need him to release the ache.

“Eight,” he chuckles. “I think you’re starting to understand the game, baby. How desperate are you now?”

“So much. Please…” I groan in need and pull at my binds again. I don’t recognize my own voice. It’s husky, gravelly, almost bestial.

“Nine.”

He moves in the chair slightly and my heart speeds up. Is he coming? Is he having mercy on me? He catches my hope because he shakes his head, an evil smirk forming on his lips.

“Not yet. But you’re being so good, I’m proud of you.”

The wave of pride that washes through me tells me how deep I’ve fallen for his game. When did it happen? I was so sure at the beginning I would struggle to give all of me. I was so afraid I wouldn’t be able to do it. What now? He’s got a hold on me that could ruin me completely. All I have left to hold on to is trust. Trust and love.

“How many spanks would you take for me to come over right now? Tell me how bad it is.”

“However many you want,” I blurt out with no control over my thoughts or my body anymore. I’m pretty sure I haven’t had control over my heart for a while now. “I just need you. Please. Anything. I’ll do anything.” My voice dies down as my craving eats me up from the inside. I’m rubbing against nothing, thrusting my hips into the air shamelessly.

“Whichever number I want, huh? You know it’ll hurt, right? You know I won’t be gentle, my love?”

I nod. I can only nod, hard, and stiff. Please. Please. Please.

He finally gets up and walks over to me. He puts a finger under my chin to lift my head up. This touch only makes me exhale a loud, fiery breath. I try to swallow but I know I won’t be able to function properly until he gives me what I need.

His thumb finds one of my nipples and grazes slightly. The simple gesture sends a ripple of pleasure through my body.

“Would you take twenty?”

I nod again. “Yes,” I moan as his thumb grazes my other nipple. “Anything.”

“Thirty?” My stomach twists at the number but I don’t care. I’ll take a hundred if that’s what it takes. So, I nod again.

He smiles, a wicked grin, satisfied and full of pride. “You’re such a good girl,” he whispers. “But ten will do, trust me. Now say ‘please’”

I exhale a breath of relief before I can talk again. “Please.”

His smile is condescending and that’s how I know he’s not done playing. “Again.”

“Please…Jake.”

“Again.”

I repeat ‘please’. Over and over again, hoping it will satisfy him. I lose count; the word echoing in my head, not sure if I’m saying it out loud or thinking it really hard. Not sure if I’m shouting or whispering.

I’m so lost in the begging that I jump in a cry of pleasure when he suddenly pinches my clit hard with his thumb and forefinger. I don’t care about making a sound anymore. This is too good, too much, too fulfilling.

His hand under my chin grabs my jaw tightly and he pushes me until my back hits the mattress. I whimper with need as he places his head between my legs and laps at my pussy. My cries of pleasure reverberate against the walls of his room. I’m so loud I’m surprised the walls don’t tremble. My body, however, is trembling all right. I’m a second away from coming when he pulls away and the groan that leaves my throat is unrecognizable.

He flips me around in one movement and my cheek hits the mattress. I’m looking at his wall, my vision fuzzy from pleasure. I don’t have time to think as he pulls me by the hips until my ass is up and he’s got full access.

“Beautiful,” he growls. “So fucking wet and beautiful, Angel.”

“Fuck me,” I order and, in return, I get a hard slap on my ass cheek.

It makes me jump in surprise. The erotism from a simple slap in this situation is through the roof. I would have never expected it to be like this. My cheek burns but he soothes it with his palm.

“One,” his sultry breath penetrates the thick, sexual air.

He puts his dick at my entrance and I’m about to move back when another slap lands on my other cheek. This time I scream at how much harder it is from the first one.

He moves an extra inch, making me moan in pleasure. Another slap, another inch. Soon I don’t know if I’m moaning at the spanks or him penetrating me further. Everything blurs into a big moment of ecstasy as it all accelerates and my first orgasm rips through me so hard and intense, I can feel tears prickling at my eyes and I see stars.

I’m so thankful for the pleasure he’s allowing me to have that I whisper ‘thank you’ over and over again and I feel in his movements he’s loving it.

“You’re most welcome,” he says, pulling out and flipping me around again before entering me without warning. This time he slows down, the difference is severe and intimate.

My second orgasm comes slowly as if it is still building as it releases and releasing as it builds more. He keeps going, steadily, and I already feel another ecstatic moment coming. It rolls over my whole body and this time, I can’t stop the tears.

They fall down my cheeks as the strength of my third orgasm turns me into a puddle of pleasure beneath him. I don’t even feel my shoulders or the binds anymore. All I feel is the love between me and Jake, the pleasure of our bodies becoming one. I know the moment he notices my tears because he freezes.

“Jamie,” he asks calmly. “Are you okay?” He lifts up and is about to pull away when I smile and shake my head.

“Don’t,” I sob, my throat tight. “They’re happy tears. Please, God, please don’t stop.”

He slithers his hands below me and grabs my joint wrists to use as a lever. He starts slow again but quickly picks up the pace. He kisses my tears away, my cheeks, devours my mouth. He swallows my moans as he pushes into me with unforgiving thrusts, and I come for a fourth time with his mouth on mine and his hands gripping my wrists.

As his mouth leaves mine and my cries get louder, he releases himself in me and I only realize now that we didn’t bother using a condom. I thank Emily internally for helping me get on the pill a week ago. I will still have to discuss STDs with Jake but now is really not the time.

Jake lets his body fall on mine and I wince as the ache in my shoulders comes back. He quickly releases my wrists, and my arms are so stiff it hurts to bring them back into their natural positions. Jake doesn’t say anything, but I read the satisfaction on this face.

We’re tired but he still helps me stretch my arms to help the ache go away and massages my shoulders. He goes to the bathroom and brings me back a warm wet cloth. I clean myself and fall back on the mattress, but he quickly grabs my waist and helps me back up.

“You need to go pee, baby,” he whispers before kissing my forehead.

I execute without question. UTI’s are no joke. When I come back into the room, he’s on his front, his whole naked body splayed over the bed. My eyes stop at his perfectly shaped bum and then his one and only tattoo between his shoulder blades.

I still haven’t asked him the meaning of the X or the numbers and letters around it.

The pace at which his chest is rising tells me he’s fallen asleep, and I’m not surprised. This session drained me of energy. Add a fight, a night at the police station, worrying about your twin, confronting your old foster parent and I think Jake has more than earned a good night of sleep.

I slip into bed beside him. He shifts until he’s on his side, grabs my waist, and tucks me against him. I’m fearful that my body so close to his is hurting his bruised ribs and stomach but I also remind myself that he just fucked me into oblivion and if that was fine for him, sleeping like this shouldn’t be too painful. It’s dark, but I still make out the black-and-white picture hanging on the wall next to me, of him in his lacrosse kit, holding his helmet and smiling his perfect teeth at the camera with Rose next to him in our Stoneview Prep kit too. I recall him saying Luke took the pictures he’s put in his room. He looks so happy, his smiles genuine and forcing my own lips to curve. Maybe, when this whole Nate and Bianco thing is over, Jake will have that kind of smile on his face again. I want that for him, for us. Just pure happiness. I grin at the thought and let sleep overtake me.

I wake up to the sound of the front door slamming. Someone is angry and since I can still feel Jake’s arm around my waist, it can only be Rose. I hear her footsteps in the hall and her husky voice easily infiltrates our room. Apparently, she ‘can’t fucking believe he actually did it’ and for a few seconds, there’s no response until Chris’ voice asks her to calm down and not do anything irrational.

The walls in this house are very thin and I’m glad none of them were here yesterday. What an embarrassment that would have been. I shiver with pleasure at the reminder of what happened last night, and I can already feel wetness coating between my legs. I slide my hand lower but before I can reach my clit, Jake’s hand clamps over mine.

“Are you out of your mind?” His sleepy voice enhances my desire for him, but I don’t say anything. “Don’t touch my pussy,” he says before I feel him shift and his hand replaces mine.

There’s a wonderful ache inside me from yesterday and when he starts stroking me it turns into full-blown ecstasy. He rubs two skilled fingers against my clit and goes lower to spread my wetness around as he puts his mouth on my shoulder, giving me light kisses.

I inhale a sharp breath and I feel his lips shape into a smile. Moans are forming in my throat when a knock on Jake’s door makes us both jump.

“Wake up, Don Juan. We have a problem.” Rose’s hoarse voice behind the door forces me to put some space between myself and Jake.

“Someone’s in a shit mood,” he growls as he pushes the comforter off him.

There are things I wish I could have talked to Jake about this morning. Just the two of us in bed, calm and rested. Like, if I was safe from STDs after we didn’t use protection for the first time. If last night was like he imagined. Maybe mention his night in custody, his brief trip to D.C.

I guess it doesn’t work like that when your twin sister has the door across from yours and doesn’t care about boundaries. Not that I would mention that it annoys me how comfortable Rose is to put herself between us during our most intimate moments. He’s too close to her, too protective for me to mention anything without it turning into an argument.

He puts sweatpants on over his morning wood and runs a hand through his hair before hurrying to the bathroom. I follow to brush my teeth and head back to the room before him. By the time he comes back, I’m dressed in yesterday’s clothes and brushing my hair.

“What are you doing?” he asks surprised.

I put my hairbrush back in my bag and grab my lip balm. “I’m heading home? I thought you might want to deal with whatever you have to deal with with Rose? Just the two of you.”

“Oh really,” he marvels. “I think if you leave you are going to have to deal with a lot worse than a little spanking, Angel.”

A shiver of pleasure runs through me. Pleasure? I never thought hearing about being spanked could make me feel pleasure.

“Let’s see what she wants,” he concludes before dropping a kiss on my forehead.

I follow him out and when we enter the living room. Rose is sitting on the kitchen bar, her long legs dangling in front of her. She’s rolling a joint on her lap and putting her whole focus in the meticulous work. Chris is on his phone on the sofa, laying down, his head on one of the armrests. He’s so tall that his feet are still far off the other edge.

“What brings me the pleasure of being woken up at,” Jake looks at the clock on the kitchen wall and looks back at Rose, “ten am on a Saturday?”

“It’s Sunday,” Rose comments without looking up, spreading tobacco on the paper with the weed.

“Even worse. It’s God’s day.”

A wave of anxiety squeezes through me. It is God’s day, and since I’ve been seeing Jake, I have barely been to Church. Mom doesn’t know, but I’m sure Pastor Gilligan will tell her soon and she will be disappointed about it. She won’t be mad, but she’ll be sad that our Sunday family trip with dad and Aaron has officially turned to nothing.

Jake walks around the bar and grabs two glasses to fill them with orange juice. His bruised ribs are a darker color than yesterday. I noticed that he never puts a shirt on in the morning. He always has breakfast in sweatpants and nothing else. Much to my liking.

Chris straightens up on the sofa, leaving space for me and Jake to sit. I settle next to Chris, mumbling a shy ‘good morning’. I’ll never forget that the first orgasm Jake ever gave me, Chris was holding me from the back, his thumb in my mouth. It’s no big deal for them, but I don’t usually play in their league and I’m not a girl who is used to those kinds of things.

It seems a lot of my fellow teenage girls at Stoneview Prep have experienced all sorts of crazy sex despite our age. A lot of it includes Chris and Jake and what they used to call their ‘sexcapades’. This is what it’s like to be amongst the rich and famous, everyone grows up too fast due to the lack of their parents being around and they do whatever they want, indulging in drugs and sex at an early age. I wonder what else hides behind Chris’ sweetness. I wonder for whom he stopped playing with girls.

“How are you feeling?” he asks me. “I haven’t seen you since the party at Cal’s.”

I shrug, not really knowing what to say since not much happened to me. “I’m not the one who lost a tooth. How are you?”

“Same tooth as usual?” Jake questions as he sits next to me and passes me a glass.

Chris chuckles and nods. “They put it back again, but they said I should get an implant next time.”

“Always take care of your teeth, baby bear, it’s important,” Jake jokes. “So, what’s up?”

I sip on my orange juice, waiting for Chris or Rose to announce whatever it is that’s so bad and I know from the atmosphere that it really is bad.

Chris points towards the bar in a head gesture and only now do I notice the envelope sitting next to Rose on the bar. “That came in the mail this morning.”

Jake gets up in a huff and opens the huge brown envelope. He only needs to glance at it for his face to fall.

“What is it?” I ask.

I see the anger creeping up on his beautiful traits and my heart picks up.

Jake doesn’t reply to me though, he turns to his sister as she licks the paper of her joint to make it stick.

“Have you read all of it?” he asks her.

She simply nods and puts the joint between her lips.

“And so?” Jake insists.

I know Jake is smart. I’m pretty sure his IQ would qualify him as a genius. I mean, if elitist Stoneview Prep offered him to skip a year, he has to be. But if his twin is around, he always relies on her for brain usage. It’s like he knows she’ll understand quicker, analyze quicker, conclude quicker and he doesn’t even bother wasting his time or energy if her computer-comparable brain is already working on it.

“Do you want the good news or the bad news first?” she mumbles with the joint between her lips as she hops off the bar and taps her jeans pockets to look for her lighter.

“You want the good news first,” Chris suggests next to me and Jake nods, encouraging her to go on.

“Good news is we’re over sixteen and wherever we’re being offered to go, we have to sign on it. If we don’t want to go anywhere and the Murrays are happy to keep us, we don’t have to. This is what this paper is, a suggestion with a dotted line. As long as we don’t put any ink on it, it has no power in the eyes of the social system or in court.”

I’m completely lost as to what she’s talking about, but I really don’t like it. I get up to join Jake and he easily lets me grab the paperwork from him. My heart drops in my stomach when I read the offer to change guardians and households.

But that’s not the worst, the name under the new guardian and the address of the new household I both know too well. I have to squeeze my eyes closed and look again before the name ‘Nathan Brian White’ doesn’t burn into them anymore.

Holy shit.

He’s requesting to be their legal guardian.

“What’s the bad news then,” Jake demands in a voice of steel that makes me shiver but clearly has no effect on his sister.

“Well…” she goes behind the kitchen counter and opens drawers, still in search of a lighter. “First of all, he’s got a fucking great lawyer behind him.”

I look at the lawyer’s name at the bottom of the cover letter. Attorney Gloria Garcia-Diaz.

“Diaz as in Camila Diaz?” I ask. I already know the answer, but I can’t believe it.

Jake’s eyes widen and he grabs the letter from my hands.

“Fuck,” he huffs. “That’s her mom. She’s a court shark.”

“And she hates your guts,” Rose adds, finally taking a lighter out of a drawer.

“Yeah, thanks, I know that,” he growls.

Jake puts the letter on top of the rest of the paperwork on the kitchen bar and Rose comes back around. She puts down her lighter and joint next to the pieces of paper and puts her coat on, grabbing it from the back of a highchair.

“What else?” Jake insists.

Rose shrugs. “It’s Nate we’re talking about. He doesn’t shy away from pressuring someone into doing what he wants. Especially us. Cam’s mom is the least of our worries in this situation.”

“The fucker doesn’t scare me, Ozy. Why is it impossible for you to stick that into your brain?” He runs a hand through his hair, messing it up more than it already was, and I look back at Rose as she chuckles mockingly at her twin.

“And you’re such a brave boy, Jake. But I think we both know being scared or not won’t stop him from doing whatever the fuck he wants. And if you think he won’t go to the extent of threatening the people you love,” her eyes flick to me and my heart flutters at the thought of her knowing Jake is in love with me, “then I’m sorry to say all that braveness made you a little bit naïve.” She grabs the joint to put it in her mouth, then the lighter, and heads outside.

Jake turns to me, grabs my shoulders, and pulls me to him as if being in his arms would protect me from the rest of the world.

“I’m not scared of him,” I whisper, my cheek against his chest, my ear against the crazy heartbeat wrecking his body.

“You should be.” His voice wavers slightly when he replies so I wrap my arms around his waist, tightly, showing him I will always be there for him. “But I would never, ever let anything happen to you. I can promise you that.”

When he lets me go, he looks toward the door before dropping a peck on my nose. “I’m going to smoke, do you want to come outside?”

I join him, but once in the yard, I decline the joint Rose is offering. They smoke while Chris and I chat about the upcoming lacrosse season. He doesn’t play but he knows it’s a big one for me as captain of the women’s team.

We’re cut off by Rose and Jake’s sudden laughing fit.

“These two are up to no good, that’s their stupid plan sort of laugh,” Chris mutters to me.

“Come on,” Rose giggles. “Do it, show him how unafraid of him you are.”

“You do it,” Jake laughs back as he plays with the lighter, rolling his thumb over the metal wheel and flickering the flame. He pauses, observing it. “Better yet. Let’s burn the fucking thing.”

Rose’s eyes widen at the same time as her gorgeous smile spreads across her lips. “Fuck, yes.”

Jake gives Rose the lighter, runs inside and comes back with the paperwork.

“I hope you know this is a really stupid thing to do,” Chris scowls, mist clouding around his face from the cold winter day. The twins both nod.

“Just worry about clicking record,” Jake smiles as he hands him his phone.

I hear the sound of the phone recording and Rose lights up the joint again between her lips as Jake rolls up the paperwork he’s holding. He grabs the joint and lighter from Rose, puts it in his mouth, takes a long drag, and lights up the paperwork with the lighter. Rose starts laughing and grabs the joint back. She takes another long drag and talks as a cloud of smoke escapes her mouth.

“Go fuck yourself, brother,” she says as she blows the rest of the smoke and Jake throws what’s left of the burning paper on the floor. It all dies in a pile of ashes and Chris stops recording.

I can’t say I agree with what they did, but I like how confident they feel that they’re not going to move houses. Because I don’t think I could handle it if they went to live at Nathan’s.