Giving Away by Lola King

CHAPTER 18

‘Baby this love, I’ll never let it die

Can’t be touched by no one, I’d like to see him try’

Infinity – Jaymes Young

Jamie

I knock three times on the front door and rearrange my deep red velvet skirt. I check the flowers I bought for Chris’ parents to make sure not one of them is out of place and replace my bag that’s falling off my shoulders. I’m pulling down on my tight Christmas sweater when the door opens to Jake and his smile brightens his face the second his eyes fall on me. His dimples pop out and I feel my entire self melting.

“Merry Christmas.” His voice is merely more than a whisper as his gaze rakes all over my body.

“Merry Christmas to you too,” I whisper back.

I’m just like him, full of unbelievable happiness. It feels so surreal, too good to be true. I get that sort of feeling every time I see him but today is extra special. We’re spending Christmas together. My aunt’s case has been deteriorating in the past weeks and my mom doesn’t want to leave her alone for Christmas. Our savings are running low since my mom had to take time off work to be there and my part-time pay didn’t allow me to take a plane ticket. Jake insisted on paying it, Chris joined him, but I refused to be a charity case. So, they invited me to spend Christmas day with them.

I used some of my savings to have a present delivered to my mom so she wouldn’t feel alone or guilty for not being able to come back. It’s strange spending Christmas without her. We went from a family of four to just the two of us and suddenly I’m celebrating without her.

I walk in with Jake, it’s weird to be in the main house when we usually spend all our time in the pool house.

The whole place has been decorated from floor to ceiling in a red and golden Christmas theme. The Murrays are not often in Stoneview but when they are, it shows. We leave my bag and the flowers with their maid and keep going.

“You look gorgeous,” Jake slips in my ear as we walk the dark wooden floor to what I know is their dining room.

I giggle because my sweater is sporting Olaf from Frozen, with his nose stuck in the snow and him trying to pull it out.

“Interesting sweater,” he chuckles. We stop in front of a closed door and I pull my sweater to look down at it.

“Don’t make fun of me,” I pout. “My dad gave me this one Christmas when I was little, and I’ve been wearing it every Christmas since.”

I remember begging my dad for a Frozen sweater for Christmas when the film came out. That year wasn’t exactly good financially and I cried like a spoiled brat when I didn’t get it. When the craziness of Frozen ran out he managed to get it on sale at Walmart. I would wear it everywhere. Camila and Beth were already making fun of me back then. We were just little girls, and they would mock me for having a Frozen sweater a year and a half after the hit film came out. I didn’t care, it was a gift from my dad. Now, even more, I love wearing it.

He offers me his most genuine smile and cups my cheek with one hand. “I guess it’s good you’re still the same size as you were when you were a little kid then.”

I laugh and hit his arm. I love that Jake can always take a situation that makes me sad and distract me with something that’ll make me laugh.

“I’m a normal size.” I cross my arms pretending to be upset and he slides both his arms around me.

“You are, Angel. If you consider bite-size normal.” He gives me a lingering kiss and I completely melt in his arms, my heart beating out of my chest. “Let’s eat,” he says as he pulls away and opens the door to the dining room.

Nothing could have prepared me for the scene on the other side of that door. As soon as we walk in, the cinnamon smell of mulled wine tickles my nostrils. The decorations are the same as the rest of the house but everything else is messier. I would have bet my house that I would find a formal dining table with everyone sitting around in awkward silence. That’s pretty much how I imagine every millionaire spending their Christmas. Clearly, not the Murrays.

The table is a mess from all the crackers they’ve already popped. They’ve opened two bottles of champagne. On my left, Thomas – that I remember vividly from my childhood as a warm man full of dad jokes – is holding his arm high above himself to try and take a selfie that would include himself and far behind him, his wife Hannah, and Chris and Rose.

Chris is holding Rose in a piggyback and she’s wrapped both her arms around his neck as her long legs fall in front of him. Both are in tears from laughing, shouting indications at Thomas on how to hold his phone.

I can’t help but smile at the sight. They truly are a happy family. I can’t, for one second, imagine Nathan could separate them. I wait, retreat slightly as Jake runs toward them, and grabs Hannah to put her on his back too. She shrieks and, despite the fact that she’s a tall, well-endowed woman, he easily holds her on his back. Thomas takes a picture and soon notices me.

“Jamie, sweetheart, my God! Join us!” His voice is merry from the champagne and family time.

I hesitantly walk toward the group and place myself on the side. That’s until Hannah gets off Jake and he brings me in front of him before wrapping his arms around me.

“Say Merry Christmas!” Thomas shouts.

We all execute in a laugh, giving our best smiles. And just like that, I don’t feel awkward anymore spending Christmas with my boyfriend’s family. As soon as Thomas puts his phone back in his pocket, both he and Hannah come to talk to me. Chris and Rose ignore our conversation as they both sit down at the table watching videos on his phone. Jake stays with me. He keeps a gentle hand between my shoulders to show me he’s with me as he introduces me to his foster parents.

It’s not like I don’t know them, Chris and I were friends as kids. Way before the twins came into his life. This time, however, not only have I not seen them in years but I’m also being introduced as Jake’s girlfriend. I wonder if that ever happened before. Had they met Camila?

“You guys know Jamie,” he simply says.

They both smile down at me with wide grins. Chris didn’t get his height and mass out of nowhere. Both Hannah and Thomas are extraordinarily tall and big. Especially Thomas.

“Jamie, we haven’t seen you in years!” Hannah beams.

“I’d love to say ‘you’ve grown so much’ but I think you’re about the same height as I last saw you. When you were thirteen,” Thomas jokes.

I laugh heartily as Hannah gives him a light slap on the shoulder.

“Don’t listen to him, sweetie. You’re a gorgeous young woman. How are you? How’s your mom?” she asks.

“Mom’s good. She’s in Tennessee, visiting her sister,” I reply, staying as vague as possible. This is not the ‘poor Jamie show’.

“Yes, Jake said your aunt wasn’t well. I was sorry to hear. I wish her a good recovery.”

I’m surprised Jake talked to them about me. I thought he was the kind of guy who wouldn’t share girlfriend things with his ‘parents’. Even if he was, I would have never imagined he was this close to Hannah and Thomas.

“Well, I’m glad you’re here, we haven’t seen you in so long,” Thomas changes topics.

“And as Jake’s guest,” Hannah adds. “All those years we thought Chris would suddenly show up with you to family dinners and here you are…with our baby Jake! We thought he’d never introduce anyone to us.”

“Hannah,” Jake groans in a chuckle. “It’s Christmas, do I have to put up with the whole ‘parents embarrassing me in front of girlfriend’ thing?”

“It’s a rite of passage, son. We took out the childhood pictures when Rachel first came over. Didn’t we, Rosie?” Thomas turns to Rose as he remembers. “Where’s Rachel, by the way? We haven’t seen her since we’ve been back.”

Rose makes a face as she looks up from the video she’s watching with Chris. “Far far away from me,” she shrugs. It’s forced and she’s clearly pretending it’s not affecting her, but Thomas just goes with it and nods.

I try to keep my eyes from widening at, not only the nickname that the Murrays use for Stoneview Prep’s bad bitch, Rose White, not only that Rachel was actually introduced to their family as her girlfriend, but mainly that Thomas calls Jake ‘son’.

It’s always so strange to see people from school in their home, with parents. They’re more vulnerable, truly themselves. They don’t put up masks and fake attitudes. Seeing the twins, especially Jake, with their family brings me incomparable joy. He deserves the happiness the Murrays bring him.

“Here, here. Have a glass of champagne, Jamie,” Thomas orders more than he suggests when he brings the glass over to me.

After countless pictures and games, we sit for a late lunch cooked by their chef. They seem like a normal family, but let’s not forget they still are unbelievably rich. It would have surprised me more if they didn’t have a chef bringing all the delicacies we currently have on the table.

I indulge in the delicious turkey and all the side dishes that come with it. We drink way too much wine, which doesn’t seem to bother Chris’ parents.

Jake and I can’t get enough of each other and our hands keep meeting, under the table at first, until he brings them to rest on the silk tablecloth. I don’t miss the look Hannah and Thomas give to each other when they notice their foster son running his thumb on my small hand, or when he smiles down at me and kisses my forehead. They’re happy for him. For us. Jake and I have had so many people against us along the way that it feels reassuring to finally be able to be ourselves and still be supported by the people we love and that matters the most. It’s the only thing that counts.

I enjoy the intellectual conversations with the Murrays, we get along even more now than we did in the past and there’s no wondering where Chris got his knowledge. They’re open to debate and doubt, to teaching and evolving and I see why their son is so kind-hearted.

As we’re just finishing our desserts, pushing our stomachs past their limits, the staff comes to get our plates. The conversation slightly dies down and Chris suggests moving to the game room. His parents leave us for their own entertainment and the four of us end up playing old arcade games together.

A couple of hours later, I’m still supporting Jake playing an old version of Street Fighter with Chris, jumping on the spot next to him and clapping like a fangirl. Chris laughs at my encouragement and pouts.

“Come on, Jamie, I could use the support too!” he laughs.

“Oh, shit,” Rose’s voice cuts through our video game fun. She was lying on the red vinyl sofa on the far end of the room but suddenly sits up, looking at her phone.

“Did you see what happened to the Diaz brothers?”

Jake and Chris look up and I turn to her fully.

“What?” Jake queries. He’s still toying with the remote in his hand but not looking at the screen anymore. Lately, anything related to Nathan has been getting him fidgety.

“They got jumped by some of Volkov’s guys,” Rose replies as she gets up to walk toward us.

She stands next to me, showing her phone to her brother and reminding me of the height difference between her model size and mine. I glance at the phone to see her conversation with Carlo, which includes a picture of his face and it’s anything but a pretty sight right now. A few texts that explain how they were jumped on their way to delivering bags of weed accompany his beaten-up face on the screen.

“Why do you still talk to them,” Jake snarls.

“Does your brain really not process danger at all?” Chris adds straight away.

I kind of feel bad for her. She was just trying to keep them in the loop, and it’s being thrown back in her face. I can see why she sometimes withholds information.

“Man, I should have just kept this to myself,” she mumbles. She snatches her phone back, runs a hand through her hair, and slumps back down on the sofa.

“Are they going to be ok?” I ask to take the topic away from Rose’s lack of understanding danger.

She looks at me surprised but a small smirk appears on her face.

“Who fucking cares. We don’t want to be involved with anything related to Nate anymore,” Jake cuts off. He drops the controller completely and points at her in a warning. “Fuck, if I catch you buying from them, Ozy…” he threatens.

I nudge him in the ribs. He still has bruises from the fight with Nathan but he barely winces.

“Jake,” I whisper in shock.

I hate it when he talks to her like that. We’re all the same age, we’re all equally responsible for ourselves and each other and it’s not like she’s stupid.

Rose rolls her eyes but doesn’t retort anything. I notice her pulling at the sleeves of her sweater before typing on her phone again. I feel like I haven’t seen her tattoos in ages. Maybe she hides them when the Murrays are around.

“Hey, should we have a dip in the pool? It’s heated right?” I insist on changing the topic.

“It’s snowing,” Jake chuckles.

“So what,” I shrug, a smile tugging at my lips. “You said it was heated. You rich people don’t know how to enjoy what you have.”

My statement earns me a laugh from Chris and an agreement from Jake as he puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes softly, almost massaging me.

“Let’s do this,” Chris exclaims.

Rose gets up from the sofa and heads straight for the door, ignoring our excitement.

“Are you not coming?” Jake questions, surprised.

She turns back to us, her eyebrows drawn together. “It’s a pretty fucking stupid idea. I’ll not be catching pneumonia in my room if you don’t mind.”

“What’s pretty fucking stupid is you pretending you’re fine when you’re obviously not,” he retorts. “Spend time with us instead of being a moody bitch.”

He tries to get a reaction out of her but she’s already on her way out of the door and the only thing we hear from the hall is a loud ‘Fuck you, Jake’.

He lets out a frustrated groan and turns to Chris. “Tell me she talks to you about it.” His voice is desperate.

Chris only shakes his head ‘no’ and I can sense both their frustrations. “She’s been so hot and cold since D.C.”

“I know,” Jake concludes, his annoyance and anger palpable.

He still hasn’t spoken to me about anything that happened in D.C. I tried mentioning it, but Jake being Jake refused to share anything that has to do with Mateo Bianco. I’m assuming for him it was a moment of weakness, he was out of control and he struggles too much with those to share them with me. We’ll get there, I’m sure, but those things take time.

Out of all the questions I had running through my mind in the last week, the only thing we’ve talked about is the fact that we had sex without a condom. It was an argument since I learned that he hadn’t been careful with many girls. Not only did I have to worry about catching something and he had to get tested but it also was a harsh reminder of the stupid number of girls he’d been with before me. All while he was with Camila.

It’s hard to trust him when I’m reminded of him cheating on her over and over again. The only thing that comes as a slight reassurance is that the whole of Stoneview Prep was aware of him cheating, and I know the harpies at school would take great pleasure in telling me if he was doing this to me. He also came back all clean, which was a good thing, I guess.

“I’ll talk to her,” Chris sighs.

He heads out and it takes a minute of Jake running his hand through his hair and muttering how annoyed he is before we follow. When we walk past Chris’ room, we see him stroking Rose’s head as he talks to her. Her head is buried in the pillows, but I know for sure she’s not crying because this bitch never cries.

◆◆◆

“They’re sleeping,” Jake whispers as he swims closer to me. He just went inside to check on everyone.

We ended up spending the evening with Hannah and Thomas while Chris and Rose were chilling in his room. But now it’s one am and everyone is asleep. I’m in the corner of the pool, both my arms spread on the edge, facing Jake. The warmth of the heated water compared to the outside temperature is magical. The only lights on are the pool lights and as Jake gets to me and puts his hands on my hips the whole atmosphere turns sexual.

“Did I ever tell you that you’re the most beautiful girl in the world?” he asks in a gravelly voice.

His mouth goes to my neck and I giggle as I try to reply that yes, he told me countless times.

“I want to be inside you,” he murmurs as one of his hands grabs my breast and he starts massaging my nipple through my bikini.

My brain starts screaming at me.

You’re in the pool.

Anyone could see.

The lights are literally all on you!

And as usual around him, my body forgets my brain and instead, agrees to everything Jake says. My hand goes under his swim shorts on their own accord, and I grip his already steel-hard length.

“Fuck me,” I groan as his fingers slip beneath my bikini bottom and between my folds.

I watch with half-closed eyes as he shakes his head no. He smirks when he sees my face.

“I’m making love to you tonight, Angel.”

I gasp at his words mixed with his fingers entering me.

“Let me love you, please,” he purrs in my ear and my heart melts.

Jake doesn’t say please, he takes. Especially in a sexual situation, I’m the one usually doing the begging. The vulnerability in his voice is like I’ve never heard. We’re both still waiting for the other to say the magic three words. I know he doesn’t because he hates being vulnerable and he might lose control of the situation. I don’t because I’m scared. I freeze every time I think I’m going to say it and open myself to being hurt.

Before I realize, he pushes my bikini to the side and enters me in one long stroke. He pauses as my mouth falls open and waits for my body to adjust. He then starts moving at a torturously slow pace, but the warm feeling that spreads to my chest is overwhelming.

He spends long minutes undulating his hips with my legs around his waist, my arms around his neck, and his hands gripping the edge of the pool behind me. It’s slow and tender and it drives me to the edge of sanity. My orgasm comes so slowly, but the waves last for an eternity. They wash over me, over and over again as our breaths become one. I’m not screaming like when he pushes his anger into his strokes. No, I’m moaning long and slow as he keeps a steady rhythm. My whole body is relaxed even as it’s reaching its highest high ever.

For the second time in a week, tears slip out of my eyes as Jake and I reach a climax together. My inner walls tighten around his cock and uncontrollable tears of happiness spill down my face. I let my legs float in the water as he pulls out but I keep my arms around his neck and he keeps me caged in between himself and the wall of the pool. He lets his forehead fall on mine, breathless. After a minute or so of calming down in the quiet night, he puts a strand of hair behind my ear and rests his hand back on the edge again.

“What’s wrong, baby?” he asks quietly.

This is one of the most intimate moments we’ve ever had. It’s restful and exciting at the same time. It gets my heart beating too fast but relaxes my muscles. It fills me with joy but still leaves me longing for more of him. I need all of him, his body, his love, his mind, his trust, his soul. All of it.

“Why are you crying, Angel,” he repeats. “That’s twice now and I’m worrying.”

I let out a whispered chuckle and place both my palms on his cheeks, looking into the depth of his ocean eyes.

“I’m happy, Jake. I never thought it was possible to be loved entirely and unconditionally. Now I know it is.”

He smiles at me but says nothing. He doesn’t confirm ‘I do love you’. I know he does. I just need him to say it.

Please say it.

He lifts up his head, reaches for something on the ground behind me, and brings his hand in front of me, between both our faces. He’s holding something in his fist, but I can’t see what it is.

“Merry Christmas,” he breathes. He opens his hand and a small necklace falls in front of my eyes, hanging from his forefinger.

“Jake,” I gasp. It’s so gorgeous I have to refrain myself from crying again.

The gold chain is short and simple, the pendant is a flat heart made of gold. My stomach twists at the thought that I made him a calendar of us. It’s not like I could have afforded something as nice as this necklace, so I went for sentimental.

“I want you to wear it this way around,” he orders, showing me the front. On this side, there’s a ‘J’ engraved elegantly on the heart and I can’t help a laugh. There is no doubt he means Jake and not Jamie. It’s so caveman, so Jake. He grabs my chin with his thumb and forefinger, keeping a firm grip on me.

“All day. Every. Single. Day.” He kisses me and pulls away too quickly. “Read me the other side.”

I frown at his request and especially because his face looks so serious. It makes me nervous, and I grab the necklace with trembling hands. Stress eats at me and I say the words engraved on the backside without registering them.

“I love you,” I read with furrowed brows.

“I love you too.” His gravelly voice makes me snap my eyes back up at him. I now see the cheeky smirk on his face and my brain finally processes what I just read.

“I…” I hesitate.

“I’m in love with you, Jamie. So fucking much it hurts. You make my heart go fucking crazy, you pull at its strings until it can only sing to the rhythm of yours. As long as your heart beats, mine will beat along with it.” Hearing these words come out of his mouth takes a heaviness from my heart I didn’t know existed. It squeezes my chest before releasing in a swarm of butterflies.

“Me too,” I nod in a smile. “I love you.” I never thought I would feel so free saying this. “I’m so in love I don’t even remember how I lived my life before you in it.”

He smiles at me, and our lips clash together in a heated kiss. “Fuck, I love you. Can I say it over and over again?” he asks, and I giggle on his lips.

“With pleasure,” I reply.

I stand in front of Jake’s mirror as he puts the necklace around my neck. He clips it at the back, and I realize how short it is.

“It’s like a choker,” I observe more for myself than him. It’s definitely not as tight as a choker, but it’s much shorter than a pendant.

He kisses my neck, making me squirm in pleasure. “I don’t want it to hide behind your clothes. I want everyone to see it. Everyone to know who gave this to you.”

I smile at him and reply in the most innocent voice possible. “Yes, everyone will finally know Jason and I are an item.” I laugh, but his possessive growl is anything but amused.

Everyone already knows about us, there’s no need for the ‘J’ but I like the intention behind it, and I like that it matches my name too.

“Keep going like this and I’ll brand you,” he chastises me. He kisses my neck. “Property.” Another kiss on my neck, lower this time. “Of.” A kiss on my shoulder. “Jake White.” He nibbles at my shoulders.

A single shiver of tension mixed with yearning crosses my body. Why do I love it so much when he wants to own me?

He steps away and goes to sit at his desk while I keep looking at my gift in the mirror. I can’t seem to take my eyes off it. It feels heavenly to finally have admitted that we are in love. It’s a new chapter for us.

Full of confidence, I turn to him and watch him code something on his laptop for a few seconds before raising my question. “Jake?”

“Yes, Angel,” he mumbles. The kind of mumbling he does when he’s too busy to talk but doesn’t want to ignore me.

“Can I ask you something?”

Tap, tap, tap, his fingers go rapidly on his keyboard. “Anything, baby.” He doesn’t turn around or stop, his focus entirely on the screen in front of him.

“Have you…um…before that night at the police station. Had you been arrested before?” I try to keep my voice as soft as possible when I carry on. I know this is touching on a topic he’s never wanted to talk about. “Like, for something serious. When you were at Bianco’s maybe?”

The tapping stops as he freezes, his spine going rigid. He slowly spins his desk chair around to face me, but he stays completely silent. He looks at me, his gaze darkened, his jaw ticking. He’s in predator mode and I gulp at the realization.

I put my hands up in defense. “I don’t mean to–”

“Now what could possibly make you ask this?” His top lip twitches slightly, almost like he’s about to growl and I know this is a trick question, but I answer honestly anyway.

“That night you were being questioned at the police station with Nathan…Rose and I were waiting for you, we were so worried–”

“Get to the point, Angel,” he insists impatiently.

“I was trying to say that there was a chance you would get off with a warning or community service but Rose, she wasn’t convinced, and when I asked if you had previous convictions…” My flow of words per second accelerates as I see his face getting more serious by the minute. “I just thought I’d ask you, I guess I’m just being curious about your past, but you never want to talk about it–”

“Come here,” he cuts me off. His voice is not reassuring, and I regret bringing up his past again.

I slowly pad over to him until I’m settled between his spread legs. He slides his arms around my hips and plays with the string of my bikini hanging down my back.

“You’re asking questions about my past again, Angel. When you know I’m not going to answer them. But you’re just being curious, huh?”

I nod, a pang of guilt going through my stomach. I know he doesn’t want to talk about it, and it annoys him when I bring it up, but I just want to understand him.

He pulls at the string keeping my bikini in place, slightly uncovering my breasts. He softly grabs one of my wrists, then the other. His movements are so smooth, I only realize what he’s doing when I feel the string sliding around my jointed wrists.

“What–”

“Do you know what happens to curious girls, my sweet Angel?”

I can only shake my head no. The gesture of him securing the string around my wrists is already making my thighs shake and my pussy tighten in anticipation. Once my wrists are completely secured behind my back, his hands slide down to my hips, my ass, and then along my thigh until they settle behind my knees.

“Curious girls who ask too many questions end up choking on cock.” His voice is so low, husky from lust, I let it wrap around me and suffocate me with desire. “On your knees,” he adds as he puts pressure behind them. I slowly slide to the floor, my mouth already watering.

“I see the anticipation in your beautiful eyes, baby. Don’t get too excited, this is only going to be enjoyable for one of us.”

He gets up from his chair, pushes his boxers down and his hard cock springs free.

He pushes his two thumbs in my mouth and pulls my jaw wide open. He puts pressure on my tongue, playing with it, hurting me slightly, and then hooks his thumbs on either of my cheeks before spreading them wide. The stretch hurts and my arms jerk behind my back, desperately trying to reach his hands and push him away.

“Show me that pretty tongue of yours.”

I stick my tongue out as far as I can and he slowly pushes his dick against it, sliding along until he settles in my mouth.

“Time to choke, my little Angel. Let’s see how many questions you ask after that.”