Chasing Heartbreak by Kat T. Masen

 

KATE

 

Dominic moves toward where we’re standing with Allegra attached to his arm, making quite the dashing couple.

I’ve only met her once—the first time Dominic introduced her as his fiancée. Despite it being years ago, the face has been etched in my memory—the deep green eyes against her olive skin to her perfectly sculpted features descendent from her Italian heritage. Without a doubt, she’s beautiful. And no matter how scorned I was upon first meeting her, I can’t ignore my insecurity stemming from the ugly disease of comparison.

But that was then, and now, I’m no longer a woman driven by my emotions. No one makes me feel less than what I deserve to be. I control my life and no one, especially her, has the power to change that.

The closer they get, the more their costumes become apparent. Allegra is wearing a century-style satin gown in royal blue with distinctive gold lace trim. Sitting on top of her head is a white wig, styled to the event’s era and theme. Dominic is wearing an aristocrat suit, similar to Lex and Noah, with a simple mask. The shade of royal blue and gold matches Allegra’s costume to a tee.

The perfect couple.

Only a few feet away, my breath begins to hitch, and the champagne swooshes in my stomach in an unpleasant way. A wave of nausea climbs up my throat before I purposely swallow and tell myself to get my act together. All these unwanted feelings need to chill the hell out and disappear, if only for the next few moments.

“Lex Edwards,” Dominic greets with a polite smile, extending his hand toward Lex. “A pleasure to see you again.”

It takes a moment for Lex to realize it’s Dominic, shaking his hand before turning toward Charlie.

“This is my wife, Charlotte Edwards.”

“Dominic Kennedy,” he introduces, his eyes entirely on Charlie and devouring her in a way which Lex appears bothered by. “I’ve heard a lot about you… from my brother, of course.”

When it comes to poker faces, Charlie is a professional. Given her career choice of being a lawyer, which involves arguing for a living, attending court, and never showing the other players your cards, I know her well enough to know she’s playing the game right now.

Forcing a smile with the tilt of her head, she extends her hand out politely to shake Dominic’s. “All good, I hope, though we met years ago at your mother’s Christmas party.”

“Right, of course,” he answers, then purses his lips, turning swiftly until his complete attention is on me.

The shift of his gaze falls on the floor, trailing up my dress and past my ample bosom where he bites his bottom lip before looking into my eyes. Keeping my expression entirely still, my lips are tight, pretending to be the old friend and not a part-time lover who fucked him a week ago.

He leans forward to kiss both my cheeks in a bold move, something Europeans are known for despite Dominic being American. The graze of his lips against my skin ignites a flame, but I pull away quickly not to draw further attention to us.

“Kate, you’ve met Allegra,” he goads with a knowing smirk on his face. “My wife.”

His wife. Arrogant prick for reminding me.

Beside him, Allegra studies me with a piercing stare. “Yes, of course.”

Following Dominic, she leans forward to kiss both my cheeks. The guilt consumes me, eating away at my conscience. Allegra is no longer someone in the shadows. She’s living and breathing while clutching onto her husband for dear life—a husband who so quickly devotes his time to my body on his business trips to Paris.

The silence between us begins to alarm me. What if she found out? Can she tell right now that something has passed between Dominic and me? In a frantic panic, the scent of Noah catches my attention, causing me to act quickly.

“And this is Noah,” I blurt out, resting my hand on Noah’s shoulder. “My partner.”

The moment ‘partner’ leaves my mouth, I mentally scold myself for being such an idiot. The boyfriend sounds juvenile, and my date is no competition for a wife. Lover seems inappropriate, so what else can I possibly say?

Dominic’s expression is perplexed, yet he reaches out to Noah, who reluctantly shakes it.

“Quite some woman you have as your date,” Dominic mentions arrogantly.

Noah laces his arm around my waist, bringing me in closer before he moves my hair away from my neck and kisses it softly. My skin burns at the touch of his lips, but I blame it on the confrontation, crowded room, and the weight of the dress combined with too much champagne.

“The one who got away…” Noah murmurs, lifting his gaze to meet Dominic’s, “… but now she’s mine.”

Charlie’s eyes widen with surprise. The champagne she had been drinking almost chokes her, and she makes a gurgling sound while she tries to compose herself.

Dominic’s distant stare lacks warmth—the jealousy eating away at him as Noah’s touch lingers on me. And Noah plays just as mean, goading him because he has absolutely nothing to lose.

“It was nice meeting all of you.” Dominic’s tone turns stiff, his glare behind the mask unnerving. “Enjoy your time here. I’ll have a few more days in Paris as Allegra visits some friends in Venice. Have a good night.”

With a final gaze, his deep stare portrays a thousand words unable to be said between us. The two of them walk away as Allegra slips her hand in his, turning her head for a brief moment to look my way.

Quickly, I shift my focus toward Noah and force a smile, making sure I appear fine and not rattled by what just happened.

“Um… right,” Charlie drags, her eyes worried. “Do we need to talk about this, or are you okay?”

“Of course, I’m okay,” I lie, raising my lips with assurance. “I haven’t seen him in years. Too busy with work, plus I haven’t been back to Manhattan.”

“The guy’s a jerk,” Noah grunts, pulling himself away from me.

I turn to face him. “Look, I’m sorry I said you were my partner, a momentary lapse. I don’t know what I was thinking. Just acted in defense.”

“He’s looking at you like a piece of goddamn meat.”

Narrowing my eyes, laughter unwillingly escapes me. “Like you don’t look at women that way? Please, could you be any more judgmental?”

Dropping his shoulders and ducking his chin, his sudden change of body language comes as a surprise. “No, Kate. I don’t look at women like that. I was married and gave my marriage all I could. It wasn’t my choice initially to separate, but sometimes life deals you fucked-up hands. So, before you think I’m like other men, perhaps understand why I made certain decisions before assuming I cheated on my wife, which is why I’m in this fucking mess.”

I’m stunned, diverting my attention to Charlie for answers. She bites her lip, moving closer to Noah to console him. I can see the fire and rage within him, the anger which looks targeted at himself. But his admission makes no sense to me, and before I even have a chance to ask, he’s off to the bar with Lex following him.

“What the hell was that?”

“As I said, Kate, Noah’s in a bad place. I was hoping this trip would give him some breathing space, but maybe…”

“But I don’t understand? Why did he mention cheating?”

“Maybe, for tonight, we just forget. Drink and be merry,” she suggests, releasing a long, low sigh. “Tomorrow is a new day, and there’s time to ask questions. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so let’s be present.”

Charlie’s optimistic ‘let’s live in the moment’ does nothing to curb my frustration. Sitting back at our table, the mood becomes somber. I watch Noah from across the room as he leans on the bar for support. Lex is pushing shot glasses toward him. It’s unlike Lex to make someone else drink their problems away. And although my worry for Noah deepens, I remember how easily he chose Morgan over our friendship.

My drunken state does nothing but dredge up unwanted memories from my past. Wanting a moment to myself to regroup my thoughts while hazy, I tell Charlie I need to use the restroom.

As I walk away toward the restroom, carrying the skirt of my dress in my hands rather than drag the massive piece of fabric along the floor, I turn the corner and see the sign. The closer I get, the more desperate I become to pee, wondering how I’ll manage in this gown.

Releasing a breath to control my urges, a hand grips my arm, pulling me into another corridor.

“Who is he?” Dominic’s nostrils are flaring like a crazed bull behind the gate, ready to attack. He lets go of my hand and rests it against the wall, purposely blocking my exit. The muscles on his face have tightened, a side to him I have never seen before. If I didn’t know better, someone is jealous.

“Noah? He’s my fr…” I think about using the word ‘friend’ but what does it all matter, anyway? Dominic has Allegra, and our personal lives are just that—personal. “Someone very close to me. We go way back.”

He runs his hands through his hair recklessly, ruining the perfect style he sported only moments ago. “Is he fucking you?”

His tone is anything but calm—forceful with urgency as his eyes flare with anger like this is a problem. I don’t care for the possessive stance, not when my life never posed a question until now. And how dare he be allowed to spew this volatile assumption thinking I’m some sort of whore.

The word is unnerving. It’s unforgiving with its meaning when used against us women. Maybe that’s who I have become. I didn’t seem to care he was married, nor that he could be sleeping with other women. I used him for my own selfish sexual needs, so it paints an incredibly clear picture. I’ve created a monster and fallen victim as his prey.

“I’m not answering that because it’s irrelevant.” My tone remains controlled, refusing to feed into his jealous outburst. “What exactly do you want, Dominic? I thought we made the rules very clear.”

The corridor is small and dimly lit. There’s an emergency exit plus an unmarked door. In the tight area, he paces back and forth with fists clenched beside his thighs.

“I don’t like you here with him,” he almost spits.

“Excuse me? You don’t like me here with him?” I repeat, tilting my head. “Where exactly would you like me to be?”

He stops mid-step, the skin bunching around his eyes with a pained stare. “I’m leaving Allegra.”

“Dominic, I—”

His body falls flush with mine, pinning me up against the wall with a shallow breath only inches away. My armor stands tall, refusing to let him break me.

Goddammit, why do men have to be such assholes!

“I’ll be in Paris on Monday. Please meet me so we can talk.”

“About what?” I cry.

“Us.”

My hands fall onto his chest to push him away. When he’s finally not crowding me, I cross my arms in defiance, ready to go to war. “There is no us! Jesus Christ, Dominic. You wanted us to be exactly how you set us up to be. I don’t understand why you suddenly want to talk?”

There’s the sound of people coming toward us, laughing and giggling, then they disappear into the restroom.

“Monday, please?” He begs with his eyes. “Look, we’re both angry right now. No good will come of this.”

“I need to get out of here,” I mutter, avoiding eye contact with him until he cups my chin and raises it to meet his gaze. His persuasive stare crumbles my tough exterior, the walls falling to pieces with a surge of pain following. “I’m serious. I need to go.”

I push him aside, taking steps to walk away. He calls my name, unwillingly forcing me to stop. Taking a deep breath, I turn around and wait for him to revert to normal, tell me he drank too much, or apologize for his momentary lapse of judgment, but instead, he moves quickly to me and crashes his lips against mine with force. A moan escapes me, more of a desperate plea for him to back off as heat rises in my body. Pressing my hands back on his chest, I push him away, out of breath.

“To quote your partner, the one who got away, but now she’s mine.” He breathes so close to my mouth, I can almost taste him again. “You never could break away from me, Kate, so perhaps you’ve been mine all along.”

He walks away with a satisfied smile, but not before leaving me standing alone with his careless thoughts. I hate the truth behind his words. Perhaps, throughout our forbidden affair, I always came back because I can’t let go.

And in just one night, all my worlds have come crashing down again.

I’m back to three years ago, fighting my feelings for a man so unattainable and equally trying to maintain a friendship with someone else.

They say you’re supposed to be wiser with age. I’ll argue that in a heartbeat, I’m back in the same old mess. The only way to solve the problem for tonight would be to enjoy the free liquor—the answer to everything.

But denial will only get me so far. I’ve protected myself for as long as I can and created this untouchable side to me, which no one can reach. And deep down inside, I know my time will run out.

Heartbreak is imminent.