It Started with a Crush by Piper James
Chapter Forty
Early December
Me: Help!
Sage: What’s wrong?
Me: I don’t know what to get my girlfriend for Christmas.
Sage: I hear she likes corn dogs.
Me: Very funny. I stole all her corn dogs and threw them in the trash.
Sage: That’s it, then! Buy her a year’s supply for Christmas.
Me: Why would she need a year’s supply of corn dogs?
Sage: Well, if you don’t know that, then you’ve got bigger problems.
Me: Ah, come on, Sage! I don’t need that visual!
Sage: *devil emoji*
Me: Seriously though, is there anything you really want?
Sage: I have everything I could possibly want.
Me: Good answer. Not helpful in the least, but good all the same.
Sage: #sorrynotsorry
Me: How about a paddle?
Sage: I don’t own a boat.
Me: Not that kind of paddle.
Sage: I don’t play ping-pong either.
Me: I’m thinking one with holes in it. Less wind resistance.
Me: Or would you prefer leather?
Sage: Only if you tie me up first.
Me: Fuck.
Sage: I’m kidding!
Sage: Sort of.
Me: I’m already in the truck.
Sage: Don’t text and drive. See you soon.