Push by Sadie Rose

 

Friday morning I woke up to a string of text messages, all from Roman. He was persistent. I hadn’t responded to him in days, and even though I planned to go on the date, I still didn’t know how to interact with him during the week. He had made his intentions clear, and I had barely mumbled a reply.

I took a deep breath and opened the messages.:

Roman 1:27 a.m.

Ollie, I haven’t heard from you since I left you on Monday. Don’t make me send out the search party. ☺

Roman 1:36 a.m.

Are you ignoring me on purpose or am I the only night owl?

Roman 2:32 a.m.

I’m picking you up at 7 sharp tonight. Wear something casual. Underwear optional. ;)

Roman 6:30 a.m.

If you’ve changed your mind… I’ll still be at your door at 7. See you then.

Did that man ever sleep? I re-read his texts for any hidden clues. I didn’t know if he was angry or upset that I hadn’t responded. I typed him a response, short and sweet, but still an end to my silence.

See you then.

If he picks me up at seven then I’d have enough time to walk home from work, shower, and get dressed. As I got ready for work, I tried to plan my outfit for the night. Casual. Hmmm… I wonder where we were going and what we were doing? A Friday night on the town and in casual attire. So a fancy restaurant was out. Maybe a movie? I couldn’t see Roman going to a regular movie theater like everyone else. Something about it just screamed beneath him to me.

By the time I got out of the shower, I was in a complete tizzy over what to wear. I stalked out of my room wearing my towel and my hair wet. Madison was already sitting at the kitchen counter eating a bowl of cereal. It was time to come somewhat clean with her.

“Ok. So I have a date tonight. He said to dress casually and I have no idea what to wear. Like what’s too casual? Sweats? I’m not wearing those. Jeans right?”

Madison’s jaw dropped and she dropped her spoon.

“Before you ask who it is. I’m not ready to tell you yet. I’m sorry. I’m just not. I need your help and I promise tonight when I come back I’ll explain it all to you,” I almost couldn’t meet her gaze. She was still making the perfect o shape with her mouth.

“Olivia Monroe. You don’t just go on dates. How long has this been planned?”

I bit my lip, “Four days.”

Madison swiveled the stool to fully face me, placed her hand on her hip, and firmly told me in a playful tone, “Ollie, you’ve got a lot of explaining to do!” in her best impersonation of Ricky Ricardo from I Love Lucy. Immediately that broke the tension I had felt of telling her.

Madison got up from the stool and followed me back to my bedroom. Where she proceeded to open up my closet doors and mull over my clothes. As I continued to get ready for work, she started pulling out articles of clothing for me to choose from. My eyes lingered on a pink halter top that I had only worn once and basically by force from Madison. She saw me eyeing the top and arched her eyebrow up to her hairline.

“Ollie, you look smokin’ hot in that top. I don’t get why you don’t wear it more often. Pull out your lady balls and wear it tonight.”

The halter top seems too casual, even for a casual date, with Roman. Telling her that isn’t an option, so I opt to remind her that it’s going to be a chilly night, and I don’t want to freeze.

Her long sigh means that she dropped it as she rifled through my clothing, finally choosing my favorite jeans and several top options. By the time I’m ready for work we’ve agreed on a top that is nice but casual. It’s got a black lace back that is completely see-through but the front looks like a regular black t-shirt with a matching lace pocket. I don’t own many pairs of shoes, so Madison went to her room and brought back a pair of black Manolos. When I looked at the bottom, I didn’t even think They’d ever been worn.

“I can’t wear these. You haven’t even worn them. That’s not right.”

Madison just smirked at me, shaking her head, “Wear them. You can break them in for me.” And with that, she flounced out my door to get ready for work.

By 8:00 a.m. I was sliding into my desk at work and Raymond handed me an iced tea. He learned quickly that I was not a coffee drinker. I could tell from the logo of the cup that it’s from the cafeteria and usually we trade-off getting drinks from the coffee shop a block away.

I gave him a big good morning smile, most people aren’t morning people but I am. I love waking up and getting things done and crossing them off my lists before everyone else is even awake. Raymond on the other hand wasn’t a morning person, it was possible he wasn’t even an afternoon person. “In a rush this morning?”

“Ha! You caught that from the cup didn’t you, you sly little minx.”

I took the cup from his hand, taking a sip. I still had a big smile on my face when I thought about my date with the most gorgeous man I’d ever seen, giving me a good feeling about today.

Raymond’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts, “Sugar, your smile is so big it’s as if you just got named prom queen.”

“Have you forgotten what tonight is? It’s date night.”

Raymond gave a low whistle. “How could I forget that! My mind is slipping sweetheart. Give me all the details. I want to hear the where, the when, and everything in between.”

I gave him a long sigh pretending to be annoyed, “I honestly don’t know where we are going or what we are doing. All he told me was the time he’s picking me up and to dress casual.”

“I’m going to need you to sneak out your phone and take photos of the date and what that fine man is wearing.”

“Yeah… not doing that. You’ll just have to wait for the details till after it’s over.”

“Maybe that will mean not till Saturday morning” he waggled his eyebrows.

“Scandalous Ray, scandalous,” giving him a playful return.

I started digging into my work and pulling Post It notes off my computer that Raymond had left with his random ideas. I felt my phone buzz and my heart skipped, expecting a text from Roman; but when I pulled out my phone I saw that it was my mother. She usually wasn’t big on texting, she preferred to call and talk on the phone. I always clench when I open her messages because they’re either something really nice like wishing me a happy first day at work or saying the dreaded call me immediately. This time her message says:

MOM: Call me when you have a minute.

I have always made time for my mom, and I immediately picked up my desk phone and dialed the number, not getting a chance to hold my breath as she picked up on the first ring. She knew I would call.

“Hi Mom! I just got your message. What’s up?”

She breathed a deep sigh and I could feel the smile falling from my face. I knew that pause and I knew that sigh. I heard it for the first time from her eight months ago when she sat me down in the living room and she told me she had ovarian cancer. I wanted to reverse time instantly, go back to five minutes ago when the only thing I was thinking about was a hot date and the free coffee.

“Ollie, I’m just now leaving the doctor’s office and they had my results.”

I turned my body away from Raymond and put my hand over the phone to muffle my words hoping he wouldn’t hear my response, “Is it all gone? Are you all clear?”

The ground could have shaken from an earthquake and I wouldn’t have noticed because all I could think about was my mom and holding my breath waiting on her response. I didn’t know what would happen if not; my credit cards were maxed, my student loans accruing interest, and I hadn’t even received a paycheck. Without the work cafeteria and Madison, I would starve.

“They want me to do one more round of chemo. They said it’s shrinking and that one more round could get it all.”

All I can hear in the silence is my breath in the receiver, not knowing what to say. . This was good news, but my mother doesn’t have insurance, having worked for herself and I didn’t know how we were going to afford any more treatment. At the same time, she made too much money to qualify for low-income insurance or government assistance. I didn’t even have insurance until I got into college.

“Ollie, this is good news.”

“I know Mom, this is great news. We’ll figure out the money.”

I glanced over and saw Raymond’s furrowed brow. I swiveled my chair and whispered, “I’ll figure it all out mom, I promise. This is good news! You’re doing great. Mom, I want to talk to you about this but I’m at work and can’t talk right now. I’ll call you later tonight Ok? And we go over all of it.”

“That’s fine sweetie. I just wanted to give you the good news that it’s shrinking and that we all have a positive outlook on my progress.”

“Mom, I really am happy about it. This is good news and you are moving in the right direction. I’ll drive over this weekend”

“I love you, Ollie.”

I’ve got tears in my eye., “I love you too Mom.”

Before turning to face Raymond, I took a deep breath and tried to get my emotions under control. She was healing, getting better, meaning her rate of survival would be higher. The money was the problem, not knowing where it would come from. Not even Madison knew I had paid for the first round, or how bad the situation was.

“Bae, you ok? You’ve got a long face all of the sudden.”

I didn’t know how much Ray heard but I couldn’t tell him about this. It was personal, I barely talked to Madison about it and we’ve been friends forever. I didn’t want to be emotional, and if I talked about it, I would be overwhelmed and cry, and I wasn’t going to cry. I could not cry at work.

I turned around and gave him my big morning smile.

“Peachy keen, jelly bean.”

The look he gave me let me know he didn’t believe me, but he was willing to let it go. For now.