Push by Sadie Rose
Iskirted around Raymond all day. He could tell something had dampened my mood. I had lost track of time thinking about my mom and ways I could come up with the money. The last treatment was just under twenty-five grand. I was practically running home, trying to make sure I got there with enough time to get ready. I woke up excited for tonight but with today’s news, I felt my excitement dampened.
When I walked into the apartment, Madison was nowhere to be found. I raced to the bathroom, stripped, and jumped into the shower. My makeup is basic, adventurous for me was the tinted lip balm I applied before curling my hair. I was getting my clutch when the buzzer rang.
I slammed on the button. “Who is it?”
His voice is a deep baritone, even through the static. “It’s seven sharp Ollie. May I come up?”
“Enjoy the exercise. We are on the third floor,” I buzzed him up and unlocked the door. He was about to learn that those stairs are steep. Madison and I lived in an old building that was converted into three separate apartments, ours was the smallest but being on the top floor had its perks with no one stomping around above you at night.
There was a casual, lazy knock on the door and my mouth went dry. Just the thought of seeing him brought a shiver down my spine and I could feel goosebumps on my arms. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before opening the door.
I drink him in. He’s standing there with one arm up on the door frame. He’s wearing dark jeans that hang low on his hips and he’s wearing a black v neck shirt that fits him perfectly, showing off all of his muscles. There’s even a peek of his dark chest hair at the bottom of the v in his shirt. His dark hair is styled and not one hair is out of place on his head. When my eyes meet his, he gives me a smile that shows off his mega white teeth that are perfect in size and shape. He belongs on the cover of magazines. Hell, he has been on the cover of magazines.
He was a living, breathing Adonis.
I can’t drink him in fast enough, I realize I’ve stood there too long looking at him. Before I could do anything about that, he was pushing off the doorframe, sauntering into my house as though it were his own. I closed the door and followed him into the living room.
He looked around the room taking it all in.“So this is where you live,” It was a statement, not a question.
“Yep. Madison, who’s my roommate and I recently moved in once we finished college. Would you like the tour? It’s not much but we like it.” I felt compelled to warn him about how small it was as I thought about where he lived. My mind came up with scenarios of Architecture Digest with helicopter pads, and other nonsense you’d see in celebrity and rich people’s homes.
I sneak a look at Roman and the corners of his lips are smirked up. He can tell I’m nervous. I don’t know why but I didn’t expect him to come into the apartment. He holds his hand out in a gesture meant for me to lead the way. We walk by the counter at the kitchen, down the hall past the bathroom. I show him where Madison’s room is but who knows what current state of disarray her room is in so I don’t open the door. Then there’s just my room left. I’m a fairly clean and tidy person and thankfully I did make my bed this morning. I say a silent prayer for my mother ingraining that morning habit into me. I open the door but keep my feet on the outside of the door frame.
“Um… this is my room,” I can hear my voice sounding shy. Showing him my bedroom feels very personal and intimate. Even when I briefly dated Jeff once we were both living in town, he never came into my room. I was usually summoned to his place and when he was here he only hung out in our living room. I cringe at the memory of Jeff. I shake off the thought. He’s gum on my shoe.
Roman walks into my room and looks around. His eyes land and fall onto my bed, “Looks nice Ollie. Comfortable too. I dig all white.”
I cock my left eyebrow up. I pegged him for someone with all dark rooms and maybe even some red leather. Ha, that’s what reading romance novels get me. I’m instantly comparing him to fictional men with commitment issues and fetishes. “Well, I’m glad you like it. I haven’t had a lot of time to decorate since we moved but it’ll get there.” Honestly, I haven’t had the money either but I keep that tidbit to myself.
I’m ready to get us out the door and start the evening. I’m hungry and growing antsy about what our night could entail. I turn to leave the bedroom and I hear the springs on my mattress squeak. My eyes flashback to Roman who’s sitting on my bed. He’s smiling at me and he’s got that vulnerable look on his face. The same one he showed me last night when he was confessing all of his feelings.
“Ollie, come here,” he says to me shyly. I don’t know where this is going. Did he end up here for this to be a booty call? He must see the confusion on my face. “Baby girl, come here. I just want to talk to you before we leave.”
I nod and take the few steps into my room and sit on the edge of the bed. He looks completely at ease sitting on my bed yet here I am looking uncomfortable and out of place in my personal space.
“The other night, I told you how I feel and you—you expressed some things as well, but I wanted to talk before we left. I wanted to explain before we walk out that door together.” He smiles at me and tries to make eye contact, but I avert my gaze to the wall beside his ear. “If you would have talked to me during the week, I could have already discussed this with you.”
Is he angry with me? He doesn’t appear to be overly upset. “What do you want to discuss?”
“Ollie, I’ve already told you I’m all in. I want you to be all in too. I know we don’t know a lot about each other and that’s ok, we will as time goes on but I want that chance. A part of being all in is understanding that I’m not a normal boyfriend. I leave town a lot for work, I work long hours, and when I’m away from you I want to know you’re safe and okay when I can’t be around.”
“Okay… well there’s always texting and I do work for you so you know where I’m at most of the week.” I don’t know where he’s going with this. I can’t figure out what this is about.
“Ollie, there’s security outside your building right now.”
I’m shocked. “Excuse me?”
“When I leave my house or work—anywhere and everywhere I go, I have security with me. When we leave this building and go out, photographers will take your photo, they’ll ask questions, they’ll print whatever the hell they like. I do my best to stop that but it’s unavoidable and it’s one of the worst parts of being who I am. I want you to know that from this day forward when you aren’t inside your home, mine or work you will also have security following you. I won’t have you harassed by crazies who are trying to make a buck off me and my personal life.”
Wow. He’s telling me everyone will know we are together after tonight. If I’m not all in with him, I need to tell him now. There’s been a chemistry between us that I can’t deny but am I ready to commit to that kind of scrutiny without even knowing if he’s a good kisser? What if he’s horrible or it’s like kissing someone with onion breath.
“Roman—we haven’t even kissed,” I give an exasperated laugh, “We know nothing about each other. You want me to have security? You want people to know we’re together? I-” it’s ludicrous “What if—what if…” What if we don’t work is what I want to say but my words trail off.
He takes my hand and places it in his. I look into his eyes and he puts his palm onto my cheek. He leans forward and presses his forehead to mine. “The only reason why I waited this long was to make sure you were ready. Are you ready now?” His voice is deep and hoarse with need. It makes my thighs clench together echoing the same need as his.
I can barely get the words out, trying to disguise the need for his lips on mine, “I’m ready.”
His mouth is on mine instantly. His lips are soft and warm, pressing against mine. His tongue comes out and teases the crease of my lips begging to be invited in. I open my mouth and he’s exploring my mouth, our tongues mingling in a dance of heat. I explore his mouth, rub my tongue over his teeth, push it further, needing more. My hands move to his head and I’ve got my hands in his perfect hair, pulling and tugging with the movements of our mouths still joined together. He tastes like mint and a hint of berries. Best kiss I’ve ever had.
He pulls away from me breathless, his eyes still closed and smiling. He looks happy, and the giddiness I feel must be a combination of his reaction and my own, the feeling that I didn’t know what it felt like to be kissed until now. “Some things are worth the wait,” I whisper and he opens his eyes.
“Ollie, baby. I’ve been waiting a long time for you. ”I can tell there’s deep meaning in these words. He stands up and puts his hand out for me to take. We interlace our fingers together, walk out of the bedroom and out of the apartment into the evening.