Push by Sadie Rose

 

My entire afternoon was turning out to be very counterproductive. I tried to focus on all of the work that I now had on my desk but my thoughts kept turning back to Roman. I was in the middle of reading a file and taking notes when I heard the ping of a new email. I clicked on the mail icon to open it and my heart skipped a beat. There it was just sitting in my inbox an email from Roman. My hand shakes as I open it, but I force myself to do it. I’ve made the right decision, for both of us in saying no to his advances. We come from two very different worlds. I live in a tiny apartment with my best friend while drowning in debt and student loans that are about to kick in. I need to see my decision through. We are far too different for anything to come of giving it a go. Roman’s email is short and to the point. Just two sentences:

Ollie, I do not share. You looked lovely in the blouse.

Just like the note he sent with the blouse, I read the email several times. I tried to imagine the tone of his voice and the look on his face as he tells me that he doesn’t share. I could hear the possessiveness in his voice and I found myself pushing my thighs together. How can an email have this effect on me? I abandoned all lucid thought and typed my response.

Good, I’m not one to be passed around.

I hit send before I thought better of it. My strong resolve quickly crumbled and I was left waiting and wondering what the hell I’d started. Surely he understood that this could never happen. Why did I blatantly flirt with him!? His reply came almost instantly.

Dinner… tonight?

I had plans with Madison and I’m not going to break them. She was there for me through all the ups and downs and I’m not going to leave her in a lurch when I’m her plus one tonight to her work function. We’ve had it planned since she started working there a few weeks ago. I’m a big believer in fate and took this as another sign that we aren’t meant to be. I glanced at the clock and noticed it was 5:30 p.m. and when I looked around, I noticed the building had started to clear out.

I took the cowards way out and powered down my computer before I could send a response to Roman. I’m sure he assumed that I just didn’t get his email, being that our exchange happened so close to the end of the day. Because who could turn down that man not once, but twice. I quickly packed up my bag, headed to the elevator, and got the hell out of the building. I’d been feeling on edge since lunch and it was only when I felt fresh air hit my face, I was able to breathe again. Now that I was out of the building and putting physical distance between myself and Devereaux Industries I started to let go of the anxiety I didn’t realize I was holding in.

I made quick work of getting my outfit changed and rushed into Madison’s bedroom to have her check my outfit. She knew her work crowd better than me, and I wanted to make sure I was dressed nice enough not to embarrass myself and not too overly dressed to cause myself to embarrass her with her coworkers. When I popped my head into Madison’s room, she was sitting at her vanity putting the finishing touches on her makeup.

“Damn Ollie! You are killing it with the outfits lately!” she exclaimed.

If we weren’t best friends, I would be blushing. She was always over the top with her words. She was my antithesis. She spoke with ease while I struggled with expressing any thought or emotion. It was one of her strongest assets and one of the many reasons she became a lawyer.

“So this is ok for tonight? I wouldn’t want to ruin the party for you.”

She turned around from her vanity after smacking her lips together with her lipstick, “Ollie you could wear a paper sack and I wouldn’t care what these people think. Besides, who has a charity event on a Monday?”

“True… but still. We should get going.”

We took the two flights down from our apartment and got a cab. We didn’t even have time to wait for an Uber. The event was being held at the Fairmont Hotel and even though we lived fairly close, we didn’t relish the idea of walking the streets near dark in our formal clothing and high-heeled shoes. The air turned cold in the fading sun, a shiver running down my spine as I looked into the beginnings of the sunset. I clung to the wrap around my shoulders and admired the last of the light hitting my emerald green dress. I try not to cringe as I think about the card I had to charge it to last week. Madison has no idea I’m drowning in debt other than my student loans. It’s probably the one secret I’ve kept from her. It’s also another reason I cannot lose my job under any circumstances.

We pull up to the Fairmont and there’s a line of cars, mostly limousines and luxury cars, dropping people off at the door. Madison and I loop our arms and walk arm in arm up the sidewalk. We made our way around the hustle and bustle of everyone taking photographs and I noted that the majority of San Francisco’s elite had arrived. I can see the Mayor taking photos and talking to a news reporter, an actor from a popular television show I loved as a kid, and I get a moment of star-struck when I see several players from the Giants amongst the crowd.

Madison gives our names at the door and we are granted access to the grand ballroom. I audibly gasp when we walk into the room. This is my first time at the Fairmont. I’ve only ever seen photos online but they do not do it justice. The chandlers glistened from the ceiling and cast light in diamond flecks onto the walls around us. The white and gold accents of the room seem to transport us to a different era. The room had round tables everywhere covered in white tablecloths with lavender flowers centerpieces, with Gold chairs pushed in all around them. There was a dance floor in the center of the room and long white tables lining the walls.

Madison said the tables set up around the room were for the silent auction items set for the charity. I don’t even want to know how much these tickets cost to get inside but since Madison’s corporation is a sponsor they were allotted so many tickets to their employees. Madison’s bright mind and quick wit made her a very sought-after graduate when law school ended and it came with this perk from her new firm. We find our table and I’m quickly introduced to a handful of her coworkers who all politely smile at me and ask me the normal get to know you questions of basically the who, what, where, and why of my life.

Once we settled in at the table, Madison and I began to walk the tables around the room but not before visiting the open bar. They were serving champagne like water and since I was feeling very glam I got caught up in the moment and had a glass or two. As we wandered around the charity tables, my eye caught on a trip to Tahiti for two. It’s such an exclusive location and I’ve always wanted to go there and stay in one of those huts above the water. The value of the trip is listed on the paper and I cringed at thirty thousand dollars. I grabbed the pen and giggled as I asked Madison how much we should bid.

I gave it one last longing glance before putting the pen down and walking away. I’ve had an unexpectedly good night; I’ve had fun dancing, eating, and taking in the sights of everyone in the room. Since these aren’t my friends or coworkers I don’t feel the pressure of having to please anyone. It’s like I can be myself and have a good time. Madison would never judge me so there’s no one else’s opinion in the room I care about.

I don’t know why but at times in the evening, I’ve felt like I’m being followed or that I’m being watched but when I’ve looked around I haven’t seen anyone staring at me. I shook the feeling off but now that the evening is winding down my skin itches with the feeling that someone is staring at me. I try to let the feeling go as I search the room, unable to find anyone paying me any mind. A warm hand touches my shoulder and I jump in my seat.

“Calm down Ollie, it’s just me,” Jeff says as he stands beside my chair, looking down at me. He looks good in the suit he’s wearing, one I know costs a whole month’s pay. “Have you missed me?”

What a smug bastard.He thought he had me wrapped around his finger. We dated for months, had been intimate, and then a week after moving here he disappeared. I completely stopped hearing from him. He didn’t answer my calls or my texts. Then last week when he messaged me, I thought it had all been some kind of misunderstanding. Joke was on me. I still couldn’t believe I went to that coffee shop and stalked him, hoping to see him. I knew I was hurt, but I hadn’t realized till now how angry I was. Be confident Olivia.

“No Jeff, I haven’t. I’ve been very busy.” Jerk Face. How dare he come up to me and pretend like he hadn’t ghosted me.

“You look stunning in that dress, you always knew what I liked you in.”

My mood quickly soured, “Jeff, I don’t have anything to say to you but have a good night.” The look of shock on his face was priceless as if I’d slapped him. Good riddance. I looked over at Madison who had been talking to one of her coworkers and she’s wearing her face of concern. She knew how much Jeff had hurt me. The anger inside me stirred again and maybe it was the champagne, or maybe it was the fact that I wasn’t going to be his doormat any longer but I couldn’t stop myself, “Wait! I do have something else to say, Fuck off you asshole. Don’t ever talk to me again!”

Jeff seemed so embarrassed by my outburst he scurried away. Madison just burst out laughing and it was infectious, the two of us laughing with tears in our eyes.