Push by Sadie Rose
The winners of the silent auctions were starting to be announced and I zoned them out. I was starting to get a headache. Madison and I had stopped drinking the free champagne and we managed to eat some of the dinner. I rarely drank and had done so to excess several times in the past week. I could feel myself getting sluggish, willing the evening to end until Madison is free, headache be damned.
The buzzing from the MC came into focus when I heard the word Tahiti, and I glanced up to see who had won that wonderful trip. The announcer looked over the bid sheet and lowered his mouth to the microphone, “Well ladies and gentlemen, we have got generous people in the audience tonight! With the highest bid of double the cost, the lucky person heading to Tahiti will be Mr. Roman Devereaux.”
My jaw dropped. Literally. Dropped. This evening was going from good to bad real quick.
My eyes scanned the room until I found him, standing and waving towards the MC while the room politely clapped. What in the actual fuck! It shouldn’t surprise me that he was at this event. He was part of the elite, sitting with the Mayor of all people. God, he looks good. He’s wearing all black. His suit jacket is paired with a black dress shirt and black tie, his black pants hug every curve of his ass. It makes me instantly feel inadequate. Why did I have to drink again tonight? Fuck, fuck, fuck! God, I say fuck a lot when I’m drinking. Ok. So he hadn’t seen me tonight and I hadn’t seen him until now. Maybe we can get through this with him being none the wiser that I was also there.
Wait.
He asked me to dinner tonight. My champagne-addled mind couldn’t comprehend that train of thought. Was this his idea of dinner? Was he going to ditch this event to take me to dinner? Something tells me no, he wouldn’t miss this. Then that thought comes back to my mind…this is a game to him. I should have trusted my gut that first night. This wasn’t the first time he’d made me think this was a game to him. He was probably one of those men who got high off the chase. Making me lust after him, saying sweet things to me, sending me that blouse, coming to my rescue. He made this a game. I don’t want to play this game with him. Do I?
Even if I did, it wouldn’t stop me from noticing the blonde sitting on the other side of him. She was laughing and smiling at him with her perfect white teeth and her perfect breasts hanging half out. She looked like she belonged in a Calvin Klein underwear ad. She was beautiful. She reached out and touched his upper arm, hanging onto his every word. I felt a pang of jealousy that only made my anger flare. Fuck him and his mind games.
When the auction ends I stand, telling Madison I’m going to get a refill, and while her eyebrows raise in question she doesn’t stop me. I know she can sense that my mood has changed, my energy more volatile. My headache was raging, and I was upset that first Jeff and then Roman ruined my evening, each playing their own game.
Was I jumping to conclusions? My gut told me no. I stalked to the bar, keeping my peripheral vision alert. Now that I knew he was around, I was on high alert, feeling beads of sweat form on the small of my back. . The room felt hot and stifling, and when the bartender finally asked me what I’d like I started to say rum before being cut off.
In the calmest tone I think I’ve ever heard, I hear him say, “She’ll have a glass of water.”
Of course. Who else could it be but Roman. Fuck my life.
“Don’t you think you’ve had enough? This is a charity event you know, not a nightclub.”
I couldn’t look at him, knowing that my face was already tinged pink from alcohol, but for once my flush wasn’t from embarrassment, it was anger. I was angry.
I tilted my head and looked up at him, pulling all my irritation into my voice, “Keeping tabs on me tonight?”
“Yes.” There was no hesitation in his response.
“Huh, I didn’t even know you were here,” I shrug my shoulders in what I hope is a flippant and dismissing manner. The bartender handed me a large glass of water much to my displeasure. We stand in silence as Roman stares at me, and I fiddle with the glass to stay occupied.
He breaks the silence in a whisper, “You never answered my dinner proposal.”
I counted to five, trying to calm the anger pulsing through my body, pounding in my head to a beat only I could hear. I glance over at his table and sneer at the woman before looking back at him with a sweet smile on my face. It doesn’t seem like you had any problems filling the seat.”
He hesitantly looked over at his table, the busty blonde now talking animatedly with the Mayor and his wife. She looked up and narrowed her eyes at me, a warning. Lady, you can have him.
Roman snorted and turned his attention back to me, “Ollie, that woman is not my date. Nor is she mine.”
The way he said the word mine made my pulse quicken.The desire for him to call me his almost bubbles out of my chest and into my mouth. I need to remain stoic. I square my shoulders and challenge him with a look, “I don’t care either way.” I could see by the look on his face he doesn’t believe me, that he knows I’m affected by the situation, that he would like to challenge me.
“I want you to listen to me Ollie, I will not repeat myself so let me make this crystal clear for you. I’m trying to go slow with you. You’re young, you’re scared because you work for my company, maybe no one has ever moved you like how you move me but I want you. Since the moment I bumped into you in that coffee shop, I have thought of nothing else but you. You consume me. I want you and I won’t stop until you give us a try. And I can guarantee you, I get what I want and you will enjoy it. I’ll be the best fuck of your life.”
I swallowed hard as I digested his words, words that almost had me until fuck.He had me until he said fuck. Not the best man you’ve ever had, not the most meaningful relationship, or even making love. Fuck; that was what he wanted from me. He wanted to use me; chase, catch and release. I was a fish, and he was a great white shark.
For the first time in my life, I knew exactly what I wanted to say and I said, “Ok Roman… let me be crystal clear for you. I think I’m just some game to you. That you want me for my body but you know what, I’m better than that. I’m not some blonde bimbo you can fuck and throw away after. I want to be made love to and held and whispered sweet nothings to. I want to be showered with affection, appreciated, and shown that I’m loved every single second of the day. And… most of all I want the person who does all of that to not ask me on a date and already have plans with someone else.” I wave my hand in the direction of the blonde, finish my water in one big gulp slamming the glass onto the car then I turn to walk away.
He reached out, grabbing my forearm to stop me, pleading, “Please Ollie, let me at least escort you home tonight. Nothing more. I won’t ask anything more from you tonight.”
He didn’t correct me, that I was viscerally aware of, but something shifted in him, he looked hurt, as if I had put a crack in his foundation. Against my better judgment I nodded, once, noticing the way his mouth quirked up in the corners and I was instantly aware I had lost another round of the game I had so vehemently proclaimed I wouldn’t play.