Running For It by Allyson Lindt

Sixteen

Talking to Luna, making things right with her, was my top priority. I sent her a text, We’ll talk as soon as I get home. This afternoon. I’m sorry.

Her reply was instant—it’s fine.

All lower case. Period at the end. She was furious with me.

Hunter had a slew of messages to sift through, and a lot of them were from family who wanted to know more about this mystery Violet woman. The one from his mother said Not Ramsey’s ex-Violet.

My other texts and voicemails were more happy sounding than Luna’s. Various versions of Congratulations. Lyn’s made my stomach churn all over again. You should have asked for more time off. It’s not a big deal. Take a honeymoon. Enjoy each other.

No, no, no. I already hated walking away from work with short notice yesterday and today.

We don’t want to make a big deal out of things. It’s why we kept things secret.As I typed, I shared the message with Hunter and Ramsey. Hunter was doing the same so we knew that we weren’t giving anyone conflicting information. This was one reason lying sucked so much.

Lyn replied. It’s okay. Take the days. At least the rest of the week.

I couldn’t. That would devour me. Please don’t make me do that. I’ll be there tomorrow, like I’m supposed to.

Lyn’s Fine. I can’t force you to not come in wasn’t as fatal sounding as Luna’s, but it still made me frown.

Ramsey didn’t have many messages, especially considering the news went out on his accounts. One was from Kingston, asking if Ramsey was okay with Hunter and me, and one was a voicemail from Ravyn. Ramsey played the short snippet for us.

“Really?” Ravyn’s tone was flat.

She wasn’t buying it. Smart woman.

As we packed, rode to the airport, and got on the plane, the conversation was all next steps. Tension tightened in my neck and throbbed in my skull with each new thing I had to do or remember. Any peace I’d achieved over the last day was gone, and I just wanted to curl up in a leather plane seat and sleep for a billion years.

We’d tell people a story that was mostly-true, but still had to open with a lie. Hunter and I had been together for a while, and that was why Ramsey and I clashed. Partly because of my past with Ramsey but largely because he’d hated keeping my relationship with Hunter a secret.

When my barking laugh slipped out at the last bit, Ramsey shot me a withering glare. I shrugged. “At least own it with those of us who know better.”

“So, Violet should keep her apartment.” Hunter interrupted before Ramsey could counter. “But she’ll need to move in with me. We can take our time, but anything you need, I’ll have brought in,” he looked at me.

“And when people ask why now?” I couldn’t imagine anyone would buy this story.

“Vegas, especially the party, made the two of you see how tired you were of hiding the truth and keeping your distance, so you let impulse take over.” Ramsey’s immediate answer wasn’t a surprise, but at least his flat tone said he didn’t like this arrangement either. “You meant to tell your families and friends first, but someone leaked the news.

Ramsey raked his fingers through his hair. “Fame is fleeting if you’re not pursuing it. If your relationship isn’t constantly on display, people will forget.”

“Our friends and family won’t forget. And not many will understand if it looks like I went from you to Hunter and back to you.”

The longer we lived this lie, the harder the break-up would be on everyone around us. The harder it would be to find my way back to Ramsey without questions. Yeah, I went years without seeing him, but twenty-four hours ago I was excited to be giving us another try.

“This gets shittier the longer I think about it.” Hunter couldn’t have echoed my thoughts more perfectly.

“We’ll find a solution fast,” Ramsey said. “We’ll keep our explanations brief. Stay low-key.”

I didn’t believe it. “You’re not capable of low-key.”

“I am for the two of you.” Ramsey’s sincerity would have meant more if this entire conversation were about anything else.

We landed in Salt Lake far too soon for my liking.

Hunter would take me to Luna’s, and then back to my place to pack enough to stay at his.

When we reached the house where Luna rented the basement, I asked Hunter to drop me off. “I need to have this conversation alone.”

“I get that. I’ll be at the coffee shop a few blocks down. Call me when you’re ready to go.”

I nodded. Before I could climb from the car, he grabbed my hand and tugged me back.

He pressed his lips to my forehead. “I know this is a universally bad idea, but there’s no one I’d rather be accidentally married to. We’ll figure this out fast.”

“Okay.” I couldn’t think of anything better to say.

I heard his car drive away as I headed up the side path and down the stairs to Luna’s door. I knocked, and waited.

There was no answer, but Luna’s car was in the driveway. The curtains in the tiny window next to the door moved. Probably not the wind.

I knocked again. Still nothing.

I sent Luna a text. Please talk to me.

I’m not home, she replied.

The exchange would have made me smile if I weren’t so stressed. I didn’t say I was at your apartment. Please let me in. I’ll explain.

You don’t have to explain to me who you love.

As I read Luna’s reply, I heard the deadbolt thunk. The door opened, but there was no Luna. I stepped inside.

“Congratulations.” Luna’s flat tone startled me. She swung the door shut behind me. “I would have gotten you a wedding present if you’d ever even bothered to mention you were dating him, let alone in love enough to get married. But I’m sure your boyfriend—husband—will shower you with all sorts of gifts.”

“It’s not real.” Goddess it felt good to say that. I turned to find Luna standing with her back to the door and her arms crossed.

Her frown deepened. “What’s not?”

“You have to promise not to tell anyone, and please don’t be mad at me. Please.” The day’s stress weighed me down and made my voice crack.

Luna’s expression softened. “I promise I won’t tell anyone, and I won’t be mad.” Her tone was kind. “What’s not real?”

I collapsed on the couch. “This all stays between us.”

“Always.”

I didn’t know how far back to go. Too much had happened since that first charity dinner, leaving a smear in my memory. “So... Ramsey and Hunter are a couple, and they don’t want anyone to know, because Hunter’s dad doesn’t know he’s gay—bi? Pan?—and Ramsey and I were going to try dating too, not exclusive, cuz of the whole Hunter thing, and all three of us were good with it. And then last night we had way too many free drinks and decided it would be a lot easier to keep all of our secrets if Hunter and I got married and the news got leaked and now we have to figure out how to do damage control and end this thing without too many people getting hurt and Goddess, I am never drinking again.”

Luna studied me with sympathy. “It’s my fault, isn’t it?”

“What? No. How would this be your fault?”

“Ramsey told you what he did for me, and he forced you to do this in return?”

Apparently my day could get more fucked-up. “What did Ramsey do for you?”

“Oh.”

Not the answer I wanted. “Luna?”

She perched on the arm of the couch, feet on the cushion next to me, and stared at her fingers. “I don’t know for certain it was him, but I don’t know who else it could have been, so I always assumed he did it to win you back.”

“Luna?” Had I missed the Alice-in-Wonderland-style Drink Me label on those drinks last night?

“Remember when I was arrested, and my plea bargain and sentence were so much more lenient than we expected?”

Pieces were clicking for me. “Yeah...”

“My public defender and the ADA implied they’d heard from a friend that I wasn’t a risk. They recommended the judge go light on me. That happened two days after you broke up with Ramsey and was exactly the opposite of what I’d been threatened with up to that point.”

“You never told me.”

Luna finally met my gaze. “I figured you knew. Why would Ramsey do that unless he was using it to win you back?”

I didn’t know. Unless he really did it just to help Luna.

“If you want me to keep this quiet, I will,” Luna said. “You don’t have to explain yourself, I know you have a good reason for it. But I’ll help you find a way out. Also”—she ducked her head—“I’m sorry in advance.” Her last words were quiet.

I couldn’t handle any more surprises today. “What did you do?”

“I called Lyn.”

“And?”

“I told her we should throw you a huge surprise party, to celebrate your wedding, and surprise you as a thanks for your surprise.”

It was no mistake she’d said surprise three times. I hated surprise parties.

Luna shrugged. “I was really mad.” She must have been.

“It’s okay. I promise to act surprised. It’s no big deal.” But it was one more thing to deal with. I sighed. “I don’t know what to do. I made these promises, I had a good reason, but… this sucks.”

“You could get stuck with a worse guy than Hunter.” Luna offered a weak smile.

It was true. “But I don’t want to be stuck with anyone.”

“Do you want to ask the cards?” Luna was already looking at the shelf where she kept her favorite tarot decks on display.

I didn’t believe in the mysticism, though there was no reason to stop Luna from doing so. I was willing to admit that more than one of her readings had opened my mind to new possibilities and given me direction I wouldn’t have seen otherwise. “Sure. Can we do one of the pretty decks?”

Luna grabbed a manga tarot, and led me to the kitchen table. She handed me the cards. “You know how it works. Focus on your question, shuffle, three times, and then cut the deck and hand it back.”

My question may be too vague, but it was the best I had. How do I get out of this?

I handed Luna back the deck. “Hunter and Ramsey are together.”

“Not anymore apparently.” Luna’s retort was dry but amused. She looked at me with a frown. “Sorry. Inappropriate.”

“Everything about this is. They’re not out—obviously—and they’re keeping it a secret because of Hunter’s family, so I agreed to help them keep the secret, because all I could think about…”

Luna frowned. “Was Eva, I know. And you really don’t have to explain.”

“I owe you at least that much.”

Luna gave me a soft smile, then laid out the cards—one, then three, then one.

I frowned at how many were upside down. That didn’t seem like a good thing. And one was The Fool. That had to be bad. “You usually only give me 3 cards.”

“This is for clarity. I have a feeling you need some of that.”

I really did. “Okay, tell me it’s not as bad as it looks.”

“It’s never as bad as you think it is,” Luna said. “And neither is this. The situation or the cards.” She pointed to the first one. I knew enough about the images and numbers to know it was the Three of Wands. “The question we’re asking this card is, what aren’t you seeing clearly? Yes, you’ve made some choices, you’ve set things in motion, but that doesn’t mean your story is done. You still have time to decide—which you excel at—and write the ending. You still have time to make it good, instead of bad.”

“That sounds hopeful.” One thing I could always count on Luna for was seeing the silver lining. “But what about him?” I pointed to the upside-down Fool.”

“That’s you.”

I scowled. “Thanks.”

Luna gave a light laugh. “It’s still not bad. You’re the hero of this story, and your intuition will guide you. But you’ve got a lot of doubt, which is fair. You’ve let fear take the reins in the past, but you can still follow your heart toward an answer.”

That was almost sappy. And left me with a strange blend of hope and confusion. “Give me more.” The next card was the Seven of Cups, inverted.

“Yes, ma’am. You’re looking for a solution to let you be at peace with the current situation—”

“I’m really not. I want it over with.”

Luna looked at me with her eyebrows raised. “Over is still a solution, one of many. And you have so many choices here. But you can’t have your cake and eat it too. Some are fantasy, some are realistic, and some will destroy you. Don’t let your fears and daydreams get in the way of what you’re truly capable of.”

I didn’t have that many choices. Stay with Hunter and live the lie, or divorce him and let him deal with the fallout, since the entire world knew apparently already knew about our mistake.

“You’re questioning me.” Luna didn’t sound upset.

“I’m not. The cards, maybe.”

She smiled. “You don’t have to listen, but try not to write it all off too quickly.” She pointed to the next one, an Eight of Coins, also upside down. “You can still influence the situation. You haven’t lost control.”

That was the most comforting thing I’d heard today. “Okay…?”

“This is your chance to master something you’re already good at, but it’s going to take work, and it’s going to hurt. Don’t settle. Don’t let yourself get dragged into the unfulfilling. Push past the pain points, and you’ll be happier and stronger for it.”

That just sounded like smart life advice. Or painful life advice. Then again, I was a bit of a masochist.

“What’s the last one?” I asked. Besides an inverted Knight of Swords.

Luna sighed and tapped the card lightly with one fingernail. “Probably Ramsey.”

That wasn’t fair. “I have to be a fool and he gets to be a knight?”

“I already told you The Fool isn’t bad. This though… has the potential to be destructive.” Her voice got quiet toward the end.

I hated the sound of that. “You said there were no bad answers.”

“I said it isn’t as bad as it looks. Things can still go wrong if you let them. But this is all about possibility and potential. Your knight is committed to the truth. His truth. He’s focused. Driven. He’ll do anything to support his own agenda, but he doesn’t have a strategy, and he can be rigid and inflexible.”

“That doesn’t sound like Ramsey at all,” I couldn’t help my sarcasm.

Luna met my gaze. “You can still influence things. You haven’t lost control.”

“But it’s going to hurt.” I’d heard everything she said.

“Probably. But you’ll come out the other side better for it.”

That other side was far enough away that I wasn’t comforted.