Saving Little Jenna by Ruth Kennedy

Chapter 15: Clark

I woke up to screams and cries. At first, I was alarmed that someone must've broken in and tried to take Jenna away. But she was right by my side, sobbing in the darkness. I put a hand on her shoulder and when she looked at me, she only cried harder.

"I don't want to lose you, Daddy!" She said between sobs. "I'm scared I'll never see you again."

I sat up in bed and looked at the bedside clock. It was two in the night, so the priority was getting her back to sleep. The more she felt agitated, the more likely it was that she'd stay up all night worrying.

"I'm right here." Wrapping an arm around her, I brought her back to bed and hugged her tight. "You were just having a nightmare, sweetheart. Daddy is right here and I'll never let you go. Now go back to sleep. We'll talk about it in the morning."

The past few weeks had been great and she was so happy, but demons always return to haunt you when you least expect it. Now I was worried for her, but I couldn't help her without knowing what bothered her. It was every Daddy's worst nightmare to watch his baby girl suffer, wanting to help but knowing there's nothing you can do until she trusts you with her worries.

I held her close to my chest. The warmth of my body was enough to help her back into sleep, but I decided to stay up all night just in case she woke up again. Two hours later she was still fast asleep, a couple of brief changes in her breathing pattern probably from another nightmare. If I could keep her safe in her dreams, I would. I stayed up a few more minutes before going back to sleep.

When I woke up early in the morning, I found her sitting in bed with her head in her hands. I stretched my arms and rubbed my face before sitting up next to her.

"How long have you been up?" I gave her a quick peck on the lips.

"Not long." She looked like she'd seen a ghost. "I think it's time I tell you the truth, Daddy. You're a good man and you deserve to know what you're risking by being with me. I'm scared you'll leave me when you realize how much danger we're in. But I'm gonna tell you nevertheless."

I gave her the look which meant she was being silly and pulled her in closer to my chest. "I'll tell you what's likelier. The truth will bring us closer and I'll love you even more."

"I want you to know that I trust you," she said, looking up at me with her face buried in my chest. "I trust you more than I trusted anyone in my life. I didn't have a great childhood and my parents didn't love me. I was born in a cult where child neglect and cruel rituals were the norms, all in the name of pleasing Satan. I was the oldest of eight children, which meant I was constantly getting punished. They wanted to make an example out of me. I was supposed to lead by example but I was defiant, obsessed with going outside and learning everything about the outside world. My parents went out of their way to show their hatred towards us. Doing bad deeds and cruel rituals were their way of praying to Satan.

"However, they would've hated us even if they weren't part of the cult. They used to drug us so we wouldn't run around laughing and playing, or maybe they just didn’t want to do parenting since it was hard work. So most of our young years were spent drugged up and sleeping day and night. They had to stop it when they messed up the dosage and accidentally killed my youngest sister."

My eyes widened in horror, but her face was void of emotions. She must've gotten used to such horrors but losing a sibling was a big deal. Just as I thought, Jenna's parents were monsters responsible for robbing her of a happy childhood. Some people just weren't meant to be parents.

She stared into the distance in silence before continuing. "That was the turning point since it made me realize the rest of us would die one after the other if we didn't escape. As part of a satanic ritual, they'd lock one of us for weeks together in the dark basement, hungry, thirsty, and on the verge of death. I volunteered whenever I could because I didn't want my siblings to suffer. It meant I was grossly underweight most of my life. My worst fear came true when my youngest brother died of starvation a few hours after being freed from the basement. The young are too fragile to bear such starvation."

She stared at the wall in silence as tears formed in her eyes. "But the rituals continued and I found myself volunteering to stay in the basement every time. I couldn't live with myself if I lost another sibling just because I was too greedy. I was sure I would die in the basement, but soon Miles, my oldest brother, was old enough to willingly take the burden upon himself. All I think about these days is going back for them, but I can't since getting caught would mean certain death. All this unnecessary suffering might sound strange, but it had become our reality."

Blood boiled in my veins. "You should go to the police. Two dead siblings are enough to put them behind bars for the rest of their lives."

"There's no evidence Adam and Lily ever existed. No birth records, no nothing. They were born there and they died there without ever stepping outside."

"It doesn't make any sense." I rubbed her back gently as she began to sniffle. "Why wouldn't they let you play outside?"

"The leader of the cult made all the rules. Who knows what was going through his mind, but he wanted to keep us under control. He believed knowing about the world only made children want to leave the cult. It was why we had only the very basic education."

I made a mental note to come up with a plan. I had to free Jenna's siblings at all costs and as soon as possible.

"I had a nightmare last night that I was back in the basement. The longest I was there was for several months, put there because I'd been caught trying to learn about the outside world through books that my cousin had given me in secrecy. Every time I was in there, I'd come out obedient as a dog and it was exactly what they wanted. The possibility of running away and then being locked away in the dark basement for years when caught was high. The basement took away my will to live, let alone my will to run away. However, the longer I stayed out, the likelier it was that my desire to leave returned. Gaining access to the internet in recent months led to learning about age play and falling in love with films. They only strengthened my will to leave. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night if my oldest brother wasn't protecting the young ones. He's stronger than me, but there's only so much anyone can take before they break. Is this too much for you to hear all at once?"

"No, it just makes my blood boil that someone could be so cruel to their own kids. There's an occasional story of a cult escapee but it never occurred to me that you might be one."

I threw my arms around her and lay soft kisses on her face. "I'm sorry you had to go through all that, sweetheart. When you're ready, it might be a good idea to talk to a professional. Such traumatic events continue to haunt one long after they have passed. I'm glad you got out when you did. It was such a brave decision to make considering you had never been outside. Yes, Jenna. You were very brave for putting up with their bullshit for so long. What made you leave at the end?"

"That's for another time," she said quietly. "I'll tell you soon. Telling it all at once might be too much for you to handle. You're strong, but you're only human, Daddy."

"Soon, then." I nodded and she hid her face back in my chest. "I don't want you to relive your traumatic memories for the rest of the day. In fact, don't think about them at all until you see a therapist. Until then, let Daddy do all the worrying. Don't fear for your siblings' safety either. John and I will come up with a way to get them out safe. Meanwhile, I promise you that whoever you're running away from isn't going to take you away from me. No one can. As long as I'm alive, you won't have to spend another minute locked up in a dark basement."

The trauma was too big for her to listen to her Daddy. She had already drifted off deep into her thoughts, a frown on her face as she stared at the wall in silence, probably blaming herself for the death of her two siblings. Coming to terms with the death of a loved one was a lifelong process.

I was a strong man and nothing could make me cry, but the image in my head of a young Jenna locked up in a dark basement for months like an animal was too traumatic even for me. If it was someone else, I would've just been angry at the state of the world. But now I was devastated, and scared for her well-being.

"So how did you kill time in the basement?" I asked when she looked up at me, her face still blank and lacking emotions.

As she was reliving her memories, she had teleported back in time and place. Now she was going through the same numbing feelings as being locked up in a basement back then.

"I don't want you to think I'm crazy, but the mind makes up a whole new world in the absence of light and sound. There were times I would go riding a bike outside or swimming in a lake. My favorite things were going to school, making friends, and playing catch with a dog, all of which were things I'd only seen in a book. It all felt so real, just as real as you are, Daddy. So real I might as well have done them instead of imagining. Maybe it was just a way for the mind to keep its sanity, or a coping mechanism to prepare itself for the time when light and sound would return."

The same picture of young Jenna popped up in my head again. But this time she was just staring into the darkness for months doing nothing, losing half her weight and sanity every few weeks in an effort to save her siblings' lives. She truly was a saint.

"Sometimes I wonder if there's a different world where I was taken away from my parents at birth. In this world, I would grow up with a happy childhood, a normal one, one that everyone deserves to have. Then I wouldn't be broken, and I wouldn't be so scared and mentally scarred. I like to think we'd end up together even in such a world, and there you would truly have the girl you deserve. A Jenna who doesn't have past trauma as baggage. I wish I could be that Jenna for you, but this is what you have to settle for, Daddy, and for that I'm sorry."

I had to be strong for both our sake, but I couldn't help it when tears formed my eyes. Jenna thought something was wrong with her and it was heartbreaking. Knowing what I did now, she was still my precious baby girl.

"Aw, don't cry, Daddy." She stuck her lower lip out in a pout and wiped my eyes. "I'm right here with you. You have nothing to worry about."

I blinked my tears away and smiled, booping her on the nose. "I'm supposed to say that, Little one. Don't you dare think for a second that something's wrong with you. Your uncle John always says Michael is naughty but he wouldn't change a thing about him. Now that I'm a Daddy myself, I know how that feels. While you see weakness and fear, all I see is courage and kindness. I see a girl willing to sacrifice her life for her siblings. Your parents weren't familial role models, but you were, sweetheart. I called you my brave girl before I even knew all this, but now do you see that I was right? You truly are the bravest and kindest girl I've ever come across. Do you still think I'd change a thing about you?"

Her chest swelled with pride and her face lit up. I wish I could see her face in such joy at all times, but just as I was afraid, she spent the rest of the day reliving her time in the basement. She'd be building a block tower but she'd be so lost in her thoughts, she would be frozen for minutes at a time, remembering where she was and resuming play only when I called out her name to snap her back to the present. Halfway through building blocks, she gave up and switched over to watching TV, probably because it was easier to hide that she was lost in her thoughts. Even now she was concerned about not distressing me, which said loads about the sweet girl she was. She simply was too good for me.

I hoped that with therapy, she'd learn how to cope with the sea of emotions she'd bottled up inside for so long. Until then, a Daddy's unconditional love would have to do. I was extra loving to her that day. Giving her hugs and kisses to constantly keep bringing her back to the present. For lunch, I made her favorite meatloaf, just the way she liked and with no vegetables on the side. In the evening I let her have as much ice cream as she wanted, but she only had one scoop.

I couldn't help but regret the way I had punished her for pranking Kristen. Sure, it had scared me to death that Jenna's life was in danger from a gorilla attack. I couldn't bear to think she must've drawn a parallel to the way her parents had punished her. I would have to come up with punishments that had nothing to do with pain, and something that was more on the fun side, something like playing in her room alone or no cartoons. She'd had enough punishments for a lifetime and it was time she was compensated.

It was every Daddy's worst nightmare to see his girl in so much mental anguish, but it was comforting to know that she'd get better once she started therapy and once her siblings were free. It would also help to have a proper funeral for Adam and Lily, with just her siblings and me present. She needed some place to visit and remember their lives.

At least now I knew the worries that had been haunting her since we met. Now I could do something about it instead of watching her suffer. I vowed to never stop until she and her siblings were as healed as humanly possible. Then I had to concentrate on getting them back on track with their education and helping them settle in society.

That night I deliberately went to bed late since I needed to ensure she wasn't having trouble falling asleep. When I woke up early the next morning, I found her wide awake and sitting up in bed in the darkness. Knowing her experience with darkness, I swiftly moved my hand to turn on the bedside lamp. Instead, I jumped out of bed and undid the curtains to let light in from the rising Sun.

"You didn't get any sleep last night either, did you?" I jumped back into bed and sat up next to her.

"No," she said matter-of-factly and put her head on my shoulder. "I kept waking up so there was no point in trying. But I'm only having trouble sleeping because I'm scared I'll lose you. You're the only good thing to have happened to me, Daddy. If I lose you, I don't know what to do with my life. If you decide not to break up with me knowing the whole truth, I know I'll have a sound sleep for the rest of my life."

"So today's the day, then?" I asked. "You're ready to tell me why you finally decided to run away?"

She nodded as I stroked her beautiful long hair. "He whose name every child was scared to utter was Otis, the founder of our cult. We were taught to fear him like the boogeyman, except the stories we had heard about him were true. He and my father have been close friends all their lives and he was the first to join the cult. A few weeks ago, I was waiting to replace Miles in the basement. I fantasized about running away all the time, but I knew I could never leave until all my siblings were adults. That was the only way we could all run away together and make it out alive. Anyway, Miles had been in there for weeks and now it was my turn. But my father told me out of nowhere that I was to be married off to Otis, who claimed Satan had chosen me to be his eleventh virgin wife. I knew Otis would come to claim what was his soon, so I finally decided to run away.

"Otis is sixty years old and is known to be a cruel wife-beater, punishing them for the smallest of mistakes. They're complacent and obedient because they’re all young and it's the only world they know. Most of his wives were born in the cult like me. He beat them in the name of pleasing Satan but in truth, I knew it was only an excuse to justify his actions. He believed women to be their husband’s property. I took one bus after another until I had no idea which city I was in. I stopped to get some food at a supermarket and that's where I met you, Daddy. The rest is history."

There it was, the whole truth about her past. I'd get to hear more details, but now that I learned all of it, I was glad Jenna wasn't running away from a big danger. In my head, I always imagined fighting off a dozen men to save her. But knowing it was one sixty-year-old man who probably wasn't even fit to be in a fistfight with me was relieving. I'd been training extra hard at the gym for the past few weeks and it was all for nothing.

"Otis sounds like a nut job if you ask me, and he’s sixty?" I said.

"Oh, right." She sat up straight and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Anna, Otis' third wife, was forced into marriage like everyone else, but she ran away with a young man she was in love with. The man was her neighbor she'd been in love with all her life, also born in the cult. Otis took it as a threat to his leadership, taking weeks to find them with a few of his close friends. Their mistake was moving only a few miles away. When he finally found them, he dragged them back to the cult and killed her lover, taking her back to be his wife but she died under mysterious circumstances days later. Everybody thinks Otis killed her too. However, this was quite some time ago. He might not bring as many men this time since I've moved so far away. Anna running away with her lover was one of the reasons Otis made stricter rules. If he didn't allow us to leave home, we'd never be able to fall in love with our neighbors."

"I'm sorry you had to go through all of that," I said in the silence that followed, raking my fingers through her hair. "It's going to be extremely hard for him to track you down."

"You don't understand Daddy!" There was horror was in her eyes as she shook her head. "You can't underestimate Otis. It's never been a matter of if he finds me. He believes Satan chose me to be his eleventh wife, so he'll never stop looking for me because he can’t marry another woman until he marries me. When I ran away, I knew that he'd find me one day. I wanted to live my life a little and see the world as I'd always wanted before I'm trapped with him for the rest of my life. You have no idea how furious he's going to be when he finds me and thinks I'm not a virgin anymore. As long as you're with me, your life's in danger, Daddy. He'll kill you like he did with Anna's lover. Oh, God! What have I done? This is why I ran away in the rain without a goodbye within the first few days of meeting you. I knew I'd fall in love and put your life in danger. I can live with myself if he takes me back and lets you live. Maybe I should return to the cult willingly. I'd be happy knowing your life would then be spared. Your life is more important to me than my well-being, Daddy."

Her eyes were wide with fear and I could practically hear her heart racing in her chest.

"You don't have to worry about me, Little one." I kissed her on the forehead and smiled. "When I became your Daddy, I knew I'd be willing to give my life to protect you. I don't want you to get ideas in your head. You're not running away from here and returning to the cult just to save my life. You might as well kill me with your own hands, for I'd rather die than be away from you. I want you to promise me, sweetheart. Swear on me."

"I swear on you," she said with a sigh after a long pause. "It's too late now anyway. I wish you hadn't come to look for me in the rain when I ran away from you. You're too good of a man to die, Daddy. My life has already seen such misery. My life was already a lost cause, but I brought my misery upon you when I walked into your life."

"Hey, you know that's not true." I took her face in my hands and stroked her cheek with a thumb. "I had given up on relationships before I met you, remember? You've brought nothing but joy in my life, honey. And no, you're not a lost cause. You'll see it yourself when I help you integrate into society once you're all healed and ready. Until then, I need you to trust me. I was a red belt back in the day and I can easily protect you."

"Red belt, Daddy?" She giggled and shook her head. "You're being silly."

It was nice to see her smile and let go of her past even if it was only briefly.

"Yes, sweetheart." I nodded as I pulled up my big guns, kissing my biceps one after the other. "Daddy was a red belt back in the day, which is a far higher rank than a black belt and a lot rarer. I was kind of a bad boy back then, not thinking twice before throwing punches around, so I thought I'd go ahead and get trained formally."

She continued giggling and tears of laughter formed in her eyes.

"Does it look like I'm joking, Little one?" I said in a stern voice. "You can ask your uncle John all about it and you'll see what I mean when he tells you all the cool stories."

"Whoa!" She paid attention now, making an o with her mouth as she stared at my body thick with muscle. "Really, Daddy?"

"Yes, really." I ceased showing off my biceps and swiftly took my shirt off, making my pecs dance in succession. "Go ahead and punch my tummy as hard as you can. My rock-hard abs will absorb them right away. You'll see how strong I am."

I put my hands behind my head to show off my six-packs.

"No, Daddy!" She shook her head looking terrified. "You've been so good to me. I don't want to hurt you."

"No offense, sweetheart. But you can't hurt me even if you tried. In fact, not many can. I haven't trained in years but it's like riding a bike. You never truly forget. I can defeat ten men no problem. Having a red belt means you might as well wear a cape and fight crime at night like Batman."

"Batman is so cool!" She looked up at me with big eyes and wiggled in excitement. "You could train me and I could be your sidekick. You'll be Batdaddy and I'll be Batgirl."

"Then this is your first test," I said, still bracing my tummy for impact. "Go ahead and punch me as hard as you can. Don't hold back. If you pass, I'll be your Sensei."

She nodded seriously and stared at my tummy with a frown. Getting out of bed, she moved back until she had her back against the wall. My baby girl truly wasn't going to hold back.

Running towards me as fast as she could, she jumped onto the bed and punched me in the gut. I fell off the bed and rolled around on the floor, howling aloud in pain.

"Oh, no!" She put her hands on her mouth and gasped in horror, rushing to the edge of the bed and watching me wide-eyed. "What have I done? Are you alright, Daddy? I'm so sorry. I didn't realize I had such power in my tiny hands. I’m too powerful and I didn’t even know it."

"Good god, my baby girl is so strong!" I continued rolling around on the floor with my eyes closed, opening them a few seconds later and smiling up at her.

When I got back into bed and pulled her into my lap, the shock on her face turned into laughter.

"My Daddy is so silly!" She began giggling again and it was music to my ears. "You scared me, Daddy! You were only pretending it hurt? But I punched you so hard!"

"You'd have to do that a hundred times for me to feel anything."

I was getting cocky now but I loved watching her be so fascinated.