Dirty Little Secret by S.E. Law

11

Patty

The last time I saw Luke was exactly one week ago today. It was hard, but I had to do it. He left for work in the morning, as usual, but instead of heading for the breakfast nook, I slipped out of bed and packed my bags. I left behind everything he bought for me—including the engagement ring, which I placed gently on the bedside table.

After all, there was no longer any need to stay. Jocelyn’s been taken care of, and not only that, but it sounds like she’s out of Luke’s hair for good. My job was done, even if my finger still has the pale stripe of his ring on my flesh. It’s sad, really. I find myself looking for the white gold band, or rubbing the missing metal when I’m lost in thought. Every time I catch myself doing something sentimental though, I burst into tears, it’s that bad.

But what can I do? I’m back in my humble abode, which appears even more tawdry and run-down than what I remember. The space seems even smaller, and my furniture sags and creaks when I sit on it. This is my life, however, and I have to readjust no matter how hard it is.

Slowly, I take the bench in front of Scrappy to work on my latest song. My most recent creation is doleful and slow, almost like a mourning dirge. It’s tentatively titled, “He’s gone, I’m gone” and makes me want to cry so bad it’s almost unbearable to get any work done. But this is what’s flowing from my soul, and I’ve never been one to stifle creativity just because I need to hide. Pain is good for being productive, I tell myself, even as tears run down my cheeks.

With halting fingers, I pencil in a few changes to the score when suddenly, a wave of nausea hits my stomach. Dizzy, I press my hand to my mouth and rush to the bathroom before vomiting up breakfast in disgusting splashes that leave me heaving and sore. I’ve felt sick like this almost every day since I left Luke. I thought it was just extreme depression, but suddenly, a thought strikes and I’m not so sure anymore. OMG, could it be?

With trembling hands, I put on a hoodie, slip on a pair of sandals, and head downstairs. There’s a pharmacy a few blocks away; I’ll be able to pick up some Pepto Bismol, some peppermint tea, and most importantly, a pregnancy test.

* * *

Once I’m backat home, I dump my haul out onto the mattress. The pregnancy test stares at me, and I force myself to go into the bathroom with the box. Per the instructions, I pee on the stick and then wait. OMG. What will it say?

Quickly, I go outside and make myself a cup of tea as a distraction, and by the time the tea is cool enough to drink, it’s time. I head back into the bathroom where the indicator awaits, and my hand trembles as I pick it up. Two pink bars stare back at me. OMG, I’m pregnant with Luke’s baby. What will I do now?

Suddenly, there’s banging on my apartment door. The timing couldn’t be worse, and I try to ignore it, but the person won’t go away. The banging continues and with a sigh, I set down the test, and then stalk into my living room, ready to scream at whoever’s there. Frustrated, I yank open the door, but instead of a person, I see a huge, oddly-shaped object wrapped in moving blankets.

“You have the wrong apartment,” I say icily.

The movers ignore me. They begin shoving the item into my apartment, and I jump back to get out of the way.

“What are you doing?” I shriek. “You can’t just barge into someone’s place like this!”

But once they’re inside and out of the way, Luke appears, his expression grim. His azure eyes flare as he glares down at me, and I take a step back, my heart tripping in my chest. What is he doing here?

“So Patty,” he begins in a deceptively soft voice. “You left everything at the apartment, including this. You left your crown, your necklace, your clothes, and most of all, your ring. But this is yours too, and I’ve come to bring it to you.”

I stare at the huge item, and suddenly, realization hits me.

“My piano,” I breathe. I glance from the handsome man to the instrument, and then back again. This situation is so crazy and something bubbles up from my chest. I think it’s going to be laughter, but instead, it’s a choked sob.

“Luke,” I say, almost begging. “Where would a grand piano go in my tiny apartment?” I gesture to the cramped space behind me. “I don’t even have a real living room. It’s just an open area that barely fits my couch as is…”

It’s true. Luke waves the movers away with his hand, and they set Marguerite down in the middle of the room. She takes up all the available space, and is wedged in tight between my sofa and dining room table.

“Thanks boys,” Luke says. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

As the movers leave, Luke strides inside my apartment. He’s so tall and broad that he makes the small space feel even smaller, his black head almost brushing the ceiling. I think for a moment that he’s going to yell at me, or worse, turn around and walk out of my life forever, but the gorgeous billionaire does neither of those things. Instead, the anger on his face melts and he pulls me into his arms and holds me close.

“Then come back to me,” he whispers fiercely. “If you want a permanent home for your piano, then I want you to live with me for real this time. I love you.”

The air in my lungs evaporates.

“You love me?” I whisper.

“Yes,” his words sound in my ear. “I almost went crazy when I saw you’d left. Why would you go like that? Without saying anything to me?”

“Luke, I—” I stop, remembering why I had to leave. I pull away and turn to look at him, keeping my face expressionless. “No Luke. I told you I loved you the last time we were together, and you didn’t say it back. I know you’re emotional right now, but you shouldn’t feel forced to do something you’re not ready for. Change is hard, but—”

“But nothing,” he says roughly, those blue eyes angry. “I love you, and I don’t know why you won’t accept it, Patty. Maybe I didn’t say it at exactly the right moment, but what does it matter? Only a few days have passed.”

I take a deep breath, my cheeks flushing red. It’s time for the pedal to hit the metal, and I go for it. I stare at him, unwilling or unable to look away.

“If you love me, then why did you reveal our arrangement to your brother?” I cross my arms over my chest. “How could you tell James that I worked for City Girls? Do you know how cheap that made me feel?”

Luke’s jaw drops and he appears stumped.

“Patty, I never told him anything,” he begins. “If James knew, then he found out from another source.” I stare at him, letting my disbelieving expression convey my emotions. “No, I would never tell him about us,” he says firmly.

“Then how did he know?” I hiss. “You and I were the only people who knew! In fact, let me let you in on a little secret: James told me himself that you were the one who let the cat out of the bag.” I wrap my arms around myself and take a few steps back. “Don’t lie, Luke. I can’t… I just can’t do this.” Not when I have your baby to think about, says the voice in my head.

But the powerful billionaire won’t give up and shakes his head in fury.

“Tell me what he said to you.”

I look away from him and in a monotone, recount the actions of that dinner party. It feels so surreal now, like it’s something that happened long ago, even though it was a recent occurrence. It’s as if I have to pull the memory up from deep down within, like my brain’s been trying to bury it so it can’t hurt me anymore. By the time I finish talking, the color has drained from Luke’s face.

He takes my hand again and I make to jerk away, but he won’t let me, those blue eyes flaring.

“Patty, please, listen to me,” he rasps. “James lied to you. I swear it on my father’s grave.”

I hesitate, some of the rigidity leaving my posture. “Then how did he know?”

He runs a hand through his hair, looking conflicted. “I think I know what happened, but I don’t think you’re going to like this answer either.”

I sit down on the couch and cross one leg over the other. My head buzzes and I can barely think.

“Tell me,” I command.

“I never told my brother anything, but I think Jocelyn might have.”

I blink.

“What? I thought she was finally leaving you alone!”

Luke takes a deep breath and sits on the other end of my tiny couch. “I know I told you I hadn’t seen Jocelyn since we started our arrangement, but that wasn’t exactly true. I saw her the day before we went shopping in Long Island. It wasn’t on purpose. I was outside of Montgomery Holdings, and she just ‘happened’ to walk by.”

I stare at him.

“Why did you lie to me?” I ask, my voice brittle.

Luke turns fully and his expression is ravaged. “I’m sorry. I know now that I should have told you the truth, but at the time, I thought it was best not to mention anything. If I’d known things would turn out like this … well, I would have told you about that encounter.”

“Encounter?” I blurt. “What happened?”

He shakes his head miserably.

“She started talking. Jocelyn told me she’d found out about you, and how you work for City Girls. She said she was going to tell my family, but I ignored her. I walked away and then called building security on her, actually. But somehow, she must have gotten a hold of James and likely spilled the beans to him.”

My lower lip starts to tremble, and I bite it to keep myself from crying again. Hope and relief unfurl in my chest because I want to believe his words so badly. I’ve missed Luke terribly these last few days, and if this means I was wrong and that I can have him back, I’d do almost anything. But am I being naïve? Is it so wrong for me to hope against all hope?

Luke seems to sense my conflict, and seizes my hand with his own. “I’m so sorry for lying to you, but I honestly thought it was best not to tell you about my encounter with Jocelyn. Of course, I’ll have to confront James, but I can’t imagine any other scenario than this one.” He stares deeply into my eyes. “Patty, I didn’t tell my brother that you’re an escort. I swear.”

Something breaks in my heart, and I nod as tears slip down my cheeks. “I believe you,” I whisper.

He exhales a long breath, and then to my surprise, gets off the couch and sinks to one knee before me.

“Luke, what are you doing?” I whisper, tears streaming down my cheeks. But Luke shushes me and then fishes in his pocket, only to reappear with my engagement ring. He slips the diamond onto my finger and we both look at it for a moment.

“It belongs there,” he says in a soft voice. “The same way my heart belongs to you, Patty. Will you marry me, honey? For real, this time. None of that fake stuff.”

I’m crying buckets and buckets of tears now, but somehow, I manage to nod. “Yes, yes! I love you so much, Luke. I want to marry you so much.”

He looks teary now too, and pulls me against his chest.

“I love you, sweetheart,” he rasps, his voice emotional. “When I thought I lost you, I went berserk and this whole piano thing …” he says, gesturing at the bundled item on the floor. “I’m so sorry, honey. I lost my wits and basically went insane trying to get you back.” He’s holding me so tight that he’s almost crushing me against his chest, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. But when he finally lets me go, I look up at him and hiccup a little.

“No, it’s okay, but you’re not the only one with a secret,” I say. “There’s something I need to tell you,” I whisper.

His blue eyes gentle.

“It’s okay, honey. Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out together.”

I take a deep breath.

“Well, I’ve been feeling a little sick recently, so I took a pregnancy test, and …”

His breath catches as those blue eyes flare.

“And? You’re pregnant?” he asks.

I nod, placing my hand over my softly burgeoning stomach.

“I am, Luke. You’re going to be a daddy.”

The billionaire is silent for a moment, breathing hard, but then he cradles me in his arms and presses our foreheads together.

“I love you, Patty,” he whispers. “This is the best gift a man can receive, and thank you so much,” he says in a choked voice. “A baby! Imagine that.”

I smile softly.

“I love you too, Luke. We’re going to have the most beautiful family in the world,” I say in a soft voice, and with that, our fate is sealed. Even though I began as this man’s hired fiancee, in the end, I became his bride for real. It was a rough path, and we still haven’t dealt with the issue of his brother, but I know that somehow, Luke and I will figure it out: in life, love, and as partners forevermore.