Tarnished Love by Bianca Borell
FILIP
I will lose her if I don’t make this right again. I can’t be without her. But first I have to attend my sister’s birthday party. I take in the décor—polished black furniture, shiny chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, dimmed to increase the touch of mystery, dozens of orchids spread around, and masks. She’s saying goodbye. It’s the gut feeling seeping in my bones.
I want to apologize, tell her if she stays, I’ll try my best to get to know this new her, that I should have done this from the start. I itch to tell her I found love and the fear of losing her paralyzes me.
I pretend everything is alright and smile and raise my glass along with everyone else. She has Alexander and Quinn. What have we done in the last few years? Nothing, just treated her as a fragile egg. How strong she must be, to face us day in, day out, while we want someone else in her place.
“What’s happening?”
“Look around, Soph.” I whirl around and wobble a bit as the alcohol hits my bloodstream.
“She’s leaving.”
“She should have stayed away. All we did was keep punishing her, but if you knew, Soph, if you fucking knew the truth . . . How did I allow you to treat her like this?”
“What aren’t you telling me?”
I snatch myself from her grip and storm away. I still blame Bria, but now I blame myself too, and I will not forgive either of us. We are siblings, it is not supposed to be like this.
***
My temples pound in my head while my phone buzzes, and the intercom keeps ringing. When I open my eyes, I hiss and find an empty bottle of whiskey next to my feet. I stumble to the door and Sophia crashes inside.
“How could you? She told me, Filip, how could you keep that from me?”
“It was not my secret to tell.”
“You don’t keep something like that a secret,” she screeches and puts her head in her palms. She bursts into sobs, the kind that rip me apart.
“And I slept with Alex,” she stammers and drops to her knees, and I freeze but then pull her in my arms.
“We got drunk and I was mad, so mad he didn’t come.”
“Does he know?”
“I just left him. Said he understood, can you believe it?”
She finally gets how much he loves her, now after she shut them down.
“What will you do?”
“I owe it to myself to try this.”
“So, this wasn’t a one-night stand?”
“He asked me out.”
“You must have some impressive bed skills.”
She laughs, only to sob again.
“Everything will be fine.”
“No, this is what you say when everything already is lost.”
“I am here.”
“Please, be the one who doesn’t mess up,” she pleads as she buries her face in my shirt.
Too late, but I will remedy this. It can’t be that none of us is capable of having a normal relationship.
“I have to tell Damien.”
“She doesn’t want him to know.”
“She protects him. Bria still loves him.”
“Yes, but let her find a way out. He doesn’t deserve her love.”
***
I am going to get my woman back. No more bullshit. I trust her and I want this. We can make this work. My phone chimes with a text.
Nico: Sorry, man, thought you’d want to see this.
My heart pounds when I open the attachment and three pictures of Chloe wrapped around a man, pecking his cheeks, while he looks as uninterested as possible. I grip my phone so tightly it might crack. I am too late. Stupid me, I presumed we’re still exclusive.
Later, I find myself in a pub, the first I find, entertaining my second glass of whiskey. My head is fucked up. I have no idea how I will deal with all this.
“And I thought I had a rough day,” a voice says from my left.
I cock my head to the side, my vision already blurry. I should stop drinking, fuck this. I gulp it down and order another one.
“Yes, you can say that.” Her full lips arch into a smile and a dimple appears, while her brown eyes look at me from under curled lashes. She’s pretty.
“Have we met?” There is something about her I can’t put my finger on.
“No.”
“Filip.”
“Anna.”
After the briefest small talk known to history, I realize she doesn’t like to lose time, well lucky for her me neither.
“So, Anna, your place or mine?”
“Mine.”
Four glasses later, we stumble into her apartment. I must miss Chloe with a desperation curling around my neck, does Anna have to live so near to her, it’s almost as if I am in her apartment. I shut my eyes while we fumble to undress and land on the couch. Afterwards, everything turns black.
