Tarnished Love by Bianca Borell
CHLOE
The silence rings so loudly, my own breaths stick in my throat. He has a child?
“I was almost eighteen when I met Alice. She was twenty-five. I thought I was the best. She poked holes in the condom . . . you might guess.”
“What happened?”
“My entire life was spiraling down, but she topped it.”
“Filip.”
“I told Sophia. She has always been ruthless in protecting the ones she loves.”
Yes, I got glimpses, but this is not helping.
“Where is it?”
“She terminated the pregnancy.”
“Oh my god.” My hand flies to my mouth, while he shrugs.
“It was her choice, and I never regretted it.”
“Still.”
“No, what she did was not okay. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have found a way.”
“What happened?”
“Soph threatened her. She told Alice that once the family found out and sued for custody, she’d never see the baby again when they won. So, she took the check and terminated the pregnancy.”
“Are you sure?”
“She sent her the medical bill, but Soph still thinks she’s responsible for it. She’s not, she saved me.”
I lean against the bench, closing my eyes. I would have expected anything but this. I don’t even know what to make out about this.
“We never used condoms.”
“No, we used condoms at first and then I realized how fucked up it was because I didn’t care.”
“I don’t get it.”
“I have never backed off my responsibilities. Plus, you said nothing else either.”
My cheeks heat, and I whisper, “I am on the pill.”
“Nothing is one hundred percent efficient. And I want that life with you.”
This is too much. I rise to my feet and kick some stones in the water while the surface ripples. He’s honest, why don’t I start somewhere too.
“I was sixteen, and I was at a shoot, took the first line of cocaine and lost my virginity in the same night. That fucked with my head too. I remember nothing, just the discomfort when I came down. Maybe that’s why I never found my release . . .”
“You came with me.”
“Yes, and alone . . . strange, don’t you think?”
“No, you wanted me, the desire grew whenever we saw each other, it’s potent shit.”
“Yes, I guess. Have you ever tried it?”
“I wanted to, but Soph would have killed me. I smoked a few joints over the years, though. How many times?”
“Only that one time.”
“Good. The world chews you up and spits you out sooner if you’re weak.” I look at him over my shoulder, our eyes locking.
“Did you overcome yours?”
“Did you?”
