Tarnished Love by Bianca Borell
FILIP
I love her, and it never hit me more than in this moment when I look at her, her hair grazing her chest while she chews on her nail, staring outside while rain glides down the window. Strangely I don’t feel weak, and yes, I overcame mine the moment I shared this part of me with her. It’s different than with Soph. Chloe and I share something similar, the fear of rejection.
“I have been on my own for so long, wanting something so much when I should have started with myself—loving and accepting myself the way I am.”
“You are lovable, Chloe.”
“Have you ever thought that not even the love of the entire world can make you feel lovable unless you love yourself?”
“I’ve always been a self-loving kind of guy.” She smiles and rolls her eyes at me, but I don’t want her to take this newfound revelation too seriously, because we will still search outside us more than inward. Life is a continuous self-discovery, while discovering life with and through others too.
I rise to my feet and prepare something to eat. I would have never thought I’d find an ounce of pleasure by doing this, but it grew on me, trying new things, and right now I have to keep my mind occupied.
“Dinner is ready.”
“It smells delicious.”
“So, Bria and Damien, aren’t you a little concerned?”
“Not about them together, but of Bria’s condition.”
“I was jealous of her. I didn’t like her either.”
“Changed your mind?”
“It’s hard not to like her. Selfless to keep that to herself, protecting everyone. You are both good people, Filip.”
“Yes, there are no lengths we wouldn’t go for the people we love.”
“Who do you love the most?”
“The person I will share my life with.”
“I am jealous of her.”
I grin, while she takes a gulp from her beer. It’s her, but why spoil the surprise, plus let her steam a bit too at the thought of me ending up with someone other than her.
