Daddy’s Temptation by Kelly Myers
Hailey
The rest of the week passes by so torturously slowly and I try to focus on my singing and perfecting my set for Saturday, but it’s hard to concentrate when my heart is breaking. Ryan infiltrates every one of my thoughts, his final words haunting me day and night.
I don’t think that’s a chance I can take, Hailey.
Meaning, me. I am not worth him trying to have a relationship with and the thought leaves me bereft and empty. I would never expect or ask him to sacrifice his relationship with his daughter. I know how much she means to him and how important it is that they mend their relationship. But, at the same time, he’s just assuming that Isabella wouldn’t understand.
I’ve spent some time with her and I think Isa would be more understanding than he thinks. Especially since she knows me and we’re friends. Maybe it would be a little weird at first, but Ryan needs to think about himself, too. He’s always putting everyone else’s needs before his own and, as much as I adore that about him, it’s also not healthy.
No one can predict Isa’s reaction. But if we sit down and talk it out like adults, she may be more accepting than not. It’s a risk, of course, but Ryan needs to be honest with her. And, with himself.
But, he’d rather forget us and pretend nothing ever happened. And, so much did happen. I can’t forget how much fun we had when we went flying and then out to dinner. For the first time, it felt like we were a real couple, on a date and getting to know each other. I loved hearing about his life and there’s still so much more that I want to know.
We connect on every level and I think he owes it to himself, and to us, to try. To talk to Isa and explain the situation. She’s an adult now, not a moody teenager, and she’s falling in love herself with a man named Shawn. She gushes about him all the time.
I shake my head and sigh. If Ryan doesn't want to do it then there’s nothing I can do. He needs to want me and a relationship, and I won’t force him. He can be pretty stubborn, though, and once he makes up his mind about something, I have a feeling that it’s going to be hard to change it.
Ryan told me that Night Stalkers don’t quit. That’s the motto they live by, but he quit on me.
I’m not quite sure how I’m supposed to pretend nothing ever happened between us. Each time we were together, I gave him a little piece of my heart, foolishly trusting that he would keep it safe. And, now, I have nothing left. He holds it all in his hands.
And, he’s crushing it.
I swallow back a new onslaught of tears and refuse to shed anymore for a man who doesn’t want me. He’s not worth it, I try to convince myself.
Unfortunately, I’ve never been able to lie to myself.
By now, I’ve looked through the pictures on my phone about a thousand times from when we went flying. I have to stop. I toss my phone aside and do my best to push Ryan out of my head and focus on tonight. This performance could make or break me. If there’s an agent or record producer in the audience, being able to sing in front of them is the opportunity of a lifetime. Careers have been made overnight when the right person happens to be in the right place at the right time.
On the flip side, if I screw up, word will get around fast that I am not talented and not worth anyone’s time. Industry people will trash my emails and demos without even listening to them. I can’t afford to have a bad reputation or my dream of singing will end before it ever begins.
I’ll have to get a job at a restaurant or bar as a server because that’s all I’m qualified for and, if I can’t find one, then I’ll run out of my savings fast. Los Angeles is very expensive and I would probably find myself living in my car, struggling to get by.
God knows, I don’t want to move back to Indiana. It’s the last thing I would do, but if the situation becomes desperate…
No.You’re going to sing your ass off tonight and impress the hell out of everyone in that audience. Because that’s what you do.
After I give myself a pep talk, I start to get ready for tonight. I do my makeup, put on a simple black dress and heels and then tuck a gardenia behind my ear. My hair hangs long and loose and the flower is to help me channel my inner Billie Holiday.
After I'm ready, I start my vocal exercises and then run through my set. I’ve been drinking water all day to keep my vocal cords moistened and when Jasmine and Taylor come over at 6pm, I’m ready.
“You look stunning!” Jasmine gushes.
“You’re gonna knock ‘em dead,” Taylor enthuses.
“I hope so,” I say and wipe my palms down my dress.
Neither of them knows what happened with Ryan and I don’t plan on telling them right now. So, when Jazz asks if Ryan will meet us there, I just smile and nod. But, I have no idea if he will show up or not.
When we arrive at the Magnolia Club, I pause in the entranceway and just take it all in, absorbing the beauty and energy of the room. It’s beautiful with dark red, satin-covered walls and has a speakeasy, boudoir feel. Small round tables and chairs closely surround the stage and there’s an intimate feel to it.
A lot of singers have been discovered here and I hope to be one of them.
Jasmine guides us to a couple of tables right up front. I’m glad we got here a little early so I can listen to some of the other performers and also because the place fills up fast. It’s not long before the gang shows up. Cody and Mason find us, give me hugs and pull up chairs. Not long after, Isa arrives and tells me how excited she is for me. I study her for a long moment and realize that she has the exact same light green eyes as Ryan. I don’t know why I didn’t notice it before. My chest tightens and I wonder what she would say if she knew about me and Ryan. I can’t think about that right now, though. When Morgan shows, I’m so happy she made it. I know she works and visits her Mom on the weekend so it means a lot that she came out for me tonight.
As it nears 7pm, I know it’s time to go backstage and get ready.
Everyone wishes me good luck and I thank them for coming. It really means the world to me.
Unfortunately, the most important person, the man I want to be here the most, isn’t and I just have to accept it.
The manager of the club runs over a few reminders and the pianist who will accompany me on a few of the songs already has the sheet music. I’m ready, I think.
“Good luck,” the manager says.
“Thank you,” I say and then find myself all alone, waiting for the singer before me to finish his set. After he’s done, there’s a smattering of applause and he walks past me, not looking happy with his performance.
“Good job,” I tell him and he nods at me. I take a deep breath and wait while the manager introduces me. I hear some cheers and whistles from my crew upfront and I step onto the stage. The lights dim as I make my way to the center of the stage and then step behind the microphone stand. I lower it just a bit, place my hands around the microphone and feel a spotlight illuminate my face. Nearby, the pianist begins to play the notes of my first song.
Here we go,I think.
Everything falls away and the only thing I’m aware of is the music and my voice. It’s like all other sound and movement ceases and I’m transported to another time and place. The music takes over and it’s like I blackout.
I can’t see anyone in the crowd because the light shines in my eyes, but I feel my friends are nearby supporting me. And, it’s a wonderful thing. My set moves quickly and each song flows from my mouth with ease.
Before I know it, I’m starting my last song and the room seems completely silent. But, I’m still in my own little world as I quietly begin singing, “I’m a fool to want you. I’m a fool to want you. To want a love that can’t be true. A love that’s there for others too.”
The music feels like a living, breathing creature as I sing and the accompanying piano music is slow, sad and full of emotion. Just like my voice. And, when I reach the final verse, you could hear a pin drop. “I'm a fool to want you. Pity me, I need you. I know it's wrong, it must be wrong. But right or wrong I can't get along...Without you.”
As the last note fades away, I open my eyes and realize tears stream down my face. The entire club bursts into applause and my table of friends hoot, holler and yell loudest of all. “Thank you,” I say and then walk off the stage.
Once I’m safely in the shadows backstage, I release a shaky breath and lean a hand against the wall. I did it. I really did it. And, I think they must have liked me because the audience is still clapping.
I only wish Ryan was here.
