Held by Luna Voss
6
Melyta
With my heat over, I can think again.
… Oh no. Did I really go into heat inside a grocery store?
Yes. Yes, I did. Oops. Thank god Barion was there to rescue me.
“Thanks for coming to get me at the store,” I say to him shyly as we lie next to each other in bed. “That could have gotten… awkward.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” he laughs. “But Melyta—”
“I know, I know,” I sigh. “I should have told you.”
He nods. “That certainly would have made things easier. For both of us. Is there… is there anything you want to talk about? I know things have been weird lately. I’m sure I’ve played a part in that.”
My heart starts to beat faster. I know what I want to say. But I don’t know if he’ll be receptive.
“You can say anything to me, vulta,” he says encouragingly. “You know that, right?”
“I know. I just don’t… know if you want to hear this right now.”
“I do.”
“I’m not happy,” I blurt out. “And neither are you. No, don’t say anything. You know it’s true. This sucks. It sucks here.”
Barion is silent for a long moment. Then he nods. “Yeah, I know. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it.”
“We leave,” I implore him. “It’s really not that complicated!”
“But it is,” he replies, shaking his head. “Look, you don’t know Sarizor the way I do. The only reason he hasn’t ordered another hit on us is that we’re living in Agusto territory now, and he isn’t ready to start a full-scale war. But the moment we lose their protection, we become targets.”
“But—”
“Melyta, do you think I want to stay here? Do you think I like doing whatever stupid bullshit Dagor keeps tasking me with? I used to be a fucking underboss. I had power. Money coming in. People who answered to me. I had it all. And then you came along and—”
He trails off. I glare back at him, eyebrows raised. “And then I came along, and what?”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he mumbles.
“Didn’t mean it like what? What didn’t you mean?”
“I didn’t mean— look, Melyta, I wouldn’t change anything I’ve done since I met you. You’re the reason I get up in the morning. I’m just saying, I’m not staying here on Gerbbbexai IX because I want to. I hate it here as much as you do. Probably more.”
He slouches sadly, and my anger melts as I see how defeated he looks. I don’t ever want to see my mate like that.
“Hey,” I say, nuzzling his arm. “So we both hate it here. Now that we’ve admitted that, we can try to move forward.”
“How?” he asks, his voice pained. “Melyta, I feel so fucking trapped. I don’t want to stay here, but I can’t leave. I want to protect you, but I can’t even do that, not without keeping us in this dumb situation with the Agusto Family. I’m just stuck with no good options, and I have no idea what to do.”
I can see the stress on his face, and all I want to do is hug him. So I do. His expression softens, and he puts his hand over mine, interlocking the fingers.
“Thanks,” he whispers. “You always know the right thing to say.”
I smile. “I didn’t even say anything.”
“A hug counts. Don’t they say that’s worth a thousand words?”
“I’m pretty sure that’s a picture.”
“Same difference. Point is, you’re pretty cute, and your cuteness cheers me up.”
Aw. I give him a kiss on the cheek, and he almost cracks a smile. Progress.
“So what do you want to do?”
He turns to me, as though not understanding. “What do you mean?”
“What do you want to do,” I repeat, “about the fact that neither of us are happy in this situation?”
Barion shakes his head sadly. “I don’t see what there is to do. We can’t go try to kill Sarizor again. We wouldn’t stand a chance. And if we go off on our own, who knows how long we’d make it. Gerbbbexai IX may not be ideal, but it’s the best place for us.”
“For now.”
“What do you mean, for now?”
“I mean I agree with you. Gerbbbexai IX is the best place for us. For now. But that doesn’t mean we just live like this for the rest of our lives. We make a plan. And we lift ourselves back up.”
“What, specifically, do you mean when you say ‘lift ourselves back up?’ Rise up in the Agusto Family? Kill Sarizor?”
“If that’s what it takes,” I reply fiercely. “Barion, I know you want to keep me safe, but I accepted danger into my life when I became your mate. I don’t have a plan right now. But together, we’re going to make one. I can’t stand to see you withering away like this.”
“Who’s withering?” he shoots back, looking affronted.
“You are! You can’t tell me it isn’t true. And so am I. We’re both withering.”
A long moment of silence follows this. Barion closes his eyes, and when he opens them, the focus is hazy.
“You’re right.”
“I know I’m right. Wait. Which part?”
“All of it. Every word you said.”
I raise my eyebrows, surprised by this sudden turn. “Did you just change your mind in a split second?”
“No. It’s been coming for a while, I think. But you helped me realize it. We need to develop some kind of power of our own. So we can completely separate from the Agusto Family.”
I kiss him on the cheek, a feeling of hope spreading through me for the first time in quite a while. “Yeah! Now we’re talking. How do we do that?”
“Same thing I’ve done my entire life,” he says, a smile starting to spread across his face. “I need to call Korva. We’re going to do some crime.”
